How parasites—like ticks and psychopaths—work
PDF By Ox Drover
As an advanced practice nurse, one of the things I did here in the rural area where parasites are common was warn people about the many diseases, several of them potentially fatal, caused by a common parasite, the tick.
Here on LoveFraud we often refer to psychopaths as “parasites” because, like a common blood-sucking tick, they feed off of a host, without giving any benefit to the host, or giving any more thought to the damage they do to the host than a common tick does as he burrows into your flesh.
In the warmer months of the year, the tick searches for anything that is warm and moves and can actually leap small distances to latch on to the host. They like to burrow into the skin in a “tight spot,” like under your waistband or some other hidden area. Frequently, too, they will actually group up in one spot on the host, and when you detach the biggest tick on top, you will find several other smaller ones hidden beneath who are also sucking blood from the same spot.
Parasites, just like the psychopath, take without giving. Sometimes the parasites actually do give you something, but it is usually in the form of some noxious, toxic and potentially fatal or debilitating disease. In the case of ticks, one of the more common diseases they pass on is Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, which is a disease caused not by their bite, but by an infectious agent in their feces which can actually pass through intact skin. A few days after the tick has either dropped off voluntarily, sated with the host’s blood, or been pulled off, frequently leaving behind both feces and mouth parts imbedded in the skin, the host will start to feel ill and run a fever. People with RMSF usually break out in a rash that resembles measles. Frequently the host doesn’t even realize what has happened, and may not actually remember being bitten by a tick. With prompt treatment, 93 percent of the victims will live, but without treatment, as many as 20 percent of the victims will die of either the disease itself or complications induced by the illness.
My bout with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever
A couple of summers ago, I noticed that I wasn’t feeling well. It was during the worst of the fear and chaos of my experience with a multitude of psychopaths all at once, so I wasn’t thinking really clearly in any case. I attributed my “feeling bad” to the stress I was under for a couple of months until I became so weak I could not even climb a flight of stairs or stand up long enough to wash a small sink full of dishes by hand. I had noticed a tick bite, one that had been on me for at least 24, and probably 36 hours, before I noticed it and removed it.
When I became so ill that I literally was as “weak as a kitten” I finally decided to put a thermometer in my mouth and found I had a fever of 101 degrees, so I called my physician. He drew blood after I had reported to him the tick bite a couple of months before, and sure enough, I had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, though I had not broken out in the usual rash. I was so ill however, that my physician scheduled a battery of other tests and an appointment is a blood specialist and an infectious disease specialist. It took me almost a year to regain my strength and to start to feel better, but fortunately I ended up not having any lasting effects from the disease.
Remove the parasite promptly
Like ticks, psychopaths usually take a little time to not only suck your blood, but to transmit disease. If ticks are removed promptly, even if they have bitten you, there is little likelihood that they will infect you with something fatal. If they have time to deeply burrow into your skin, the longer they are there, the greater the likelihood that they will leave something behind that will cause problems for you. It may only be a painful, red, itching lesion that seems to drive you crazy with wanting to scratch to the bone, or it may be a disease that will land you in the ICU or the morgue, or cripple you with arthritis later on, like Lymes.
Not all diseases passed on to humans or other mammals by ticks and other parasites are as easily identifiable as RMSF. Some diseases that are potentially fatal have no reliable blood test to indicate that they are present. The person feels bad, but there is no objective symptom that can be identified either by the victim or the medical practitioner until great damage has occurred. These occult (unidentified) diseases may go undetected for months or years, doing their damage to the victim that is irreversible.
The psychopath and the tick
There is so much similarity between the psychopath and the tick, as well as other parasites. They burrow into our flesh and almost, in some cases, become part of us, while they suck our blood, and infect us with their toxic waste. They may not even appear to be so evil. “It’s just a bug bite, get over it,” our friends and family may say. Though we may become very ill from our even short association with these creatures, the illness may not be apparent to the naked eye like, say, a broken leg would be. We may struggle with the itch, the fever, the weakness, and the general debility left behind and not even realize that we have been infected with pathogens that can ruin or end our lives.
In addition to ticks attaching to us as we walk through grass or brush, ticks may also latch on to our pets or other family members, and thus gain entrance into our homes and lives by hitching a ride on our friends and pets. The tick may not even attack the pet or family member, but instead jump off on to our skin for his blood meal, using the intermediary only for transportation to get to us.
Look out for parasites
As I told the patients in my clinic, you need to be on the look out for ticks. If you or any member of your family, or pets, go anywhere in the summer time where there is grass, you should do a complete daily check for ticks, and carefully remove any that you find. Immediately wash the area and mark the date on the calendar, so that you can be on the look out for any sign of disease from even a short association with these creatures. If the symptoms of any kind of disease show up, seek medical attention immediately.
I think that same advice is useful for people who don’t live on a desert island alone, but live in the real world in which they may encounter psychopaths. I suggest that we all do a daily check of our lives to see if anyone we are dealing with even looks or acts at all like a parasite. If we see a parasite, quickly remove that parasite from our life. Wash all traces of them off of us. Then keep our eyes open for any covert damage that they have done to our life so that we can seek proper treatment as soon as possible.
Read two articles of LoveFraud, and call me in the morning!
written by Joyce Alexander • Permalink •
Rune says:
Now, now, kids. Brad looks like a “bad boy” to me. Is that a red flag I see behind him? There in the stage dressing?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KvHB4zpNX4
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learnthelesson says:
Shabbychic…
You are something else! So funny and sweet and open and honest… esp when you said to James you think you are ready to take in that list now that you are coming out of the fog youve been in most of your life!!!! Words I can relate to….
Friendships and relationships need time to develop and grow and some just take on the most random unexpected topics and conversations that I find myself saying oh my goodness did we just have THAT conversation in a supermarket checkout line! LOL
Think we all just have to feel comfortable with whom we are sharing and opening up to and educating… all the while trusting ourselves and any red flags…its about exactly what you first said SOCHIC! We dont always have tell everyone exactly what we are thinking or all weve been through…we can choose the ones we are comfortable with always knowing the red flag system is there for us at any point along the way. stop. change direction before we are ever in over our head again!!!
How do you make your posts so short and to the point??? Teach me plz
))
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learnthelesson says:
See Im posting away and missing all the funny comments….lmao!!! Henry! Tsk..Tsk… Rune – LOL about the Bad boy with the red flag. When this song came out I was flabbergasted anyone could enjoy singing these words. Id like to check you for ticks!!! Especially cuz its not very romantic doing a thorough full head of hair check and arm pits and ewwwwww..but it did grow on me a bit!!! The tune….not the TICKS!!! NEVER AGAIN WILL A TICK LAST ON ME LONGER THAN THE TIME IT TAKES TO LIGHT A MATCH AND BURN IT TO ASHES!!!!
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Rune says:
Learn: I did some internet research. Forget about the matches. The heat causes them to poop and further contaminate you. (You know, like when you confront them about their bad behavior?) Forget about vaseline or oil — they can “hold their breath” longer than you can wait for them to drop off. And those older techniques may also get rid of the body, but they leave their mouth parts behind that can cause secondary infection. (You know, the way their toxic words keep running around in your head?)
You want to take tweezers and pull them straight away. That gives you the best shot at getting rid of them, body, head, and all their crap. You also should remember that if they stay on you longer than 24 hours you have an increasing chance of contracting a serious debilitating illness like Lymes disease or Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever or PTSD.
Wash your hands. They leave toxins behind, so you should make sure you clean every surface they have touched, including your body, your closet, your garage, your car, and your “Wedding Memories” scrapbook.
Remember, too, that if you’re keeping an eye out for the big ones, you can miss the little ones that look like a cute little freckle. They’re just as toxic, but harder to spot, since the red flags are that much smaller.
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learnthelesson says:
Rune …LMAO…That post of yours is a work of TICK ART!!!!!! ARCHIVE MATERIAL THERE!!!
So basically if I light a match around my extox long enough he will likely “Chit his pants”!!!!!!! Too bad I never plan on being near him ever again!
No comment about vaseline or oil re: my extox!!! LOL — Henry will def have a better comment with that one!
Stay on me longer than 24 hours??? Cmon Henry chime in here!!! Try not even 24 seconds was doable!!!!
If I saw him today I would be walking around him with those baby diaper wipeys…they are the best disinfectents around!
And yes Rune you are so right the little ones are extremely toxic if not worse !!!!!!
Too funny! Tweezers it is then!!!!
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shabbychic2 says:
ROTFLMAO!!!
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shabbychic2 says:
ltl: I guess that was my shortest post to date! Ha. I love your posts, don’t make them short! I don’t think they are too long, they are perfect!
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ErinBrockovich says:
Rune:
“Wash your hands. They leave toxins behind, so you should make sure you clean every surface they have touched, including your body, your closet, your garage, your car, and your “Wedding Memories” scrapbook.”
Did this all during the memorial weekend……I made this weekend a memorial weekend for my kids and I…..ridding our lives of the tick. The last of the ‘legs’ were plucked out by the salvation army this afternoon and hauled away!!!
Ya know…..they also attract mice too! So ironic how the wedding crap I saved through a million horrid years of marriage attracted the mice. Poop everywhere….in the guestbook, horseshoe, dress, bride and groom stuffed animal, cards……holes, poop and nests……at least someone was comfy in the remnants of the marriage.
I am now tick AND mice free!!!! But I will keep the traps out just in case they show up again!!!
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Tilly says:
Jim in Indiana USA:
No worries Jim, if your Aussie friends asks you:
how have you been?, just say
“flat out like like a lizard drinkin”,
which means “really really busy!”.
James:
That picture you posted is identical to MY ex P! (except my ex p had a smaller dick! lol).
It is soooo good to come home to LF…the only place in the world where I can say what I feel and say what I mean – safely. xoxxo
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ThornBud says:
Learnthelesson…
we should unite and claim our % from car sellers/repair fees LOL.
And YEAH, u are so damn right, there was never Thank u, at contrary, on some wizzardous way, they make u feel bad u did not offer/give more, knowing how needy they are.
To payback? Well, they believe its granted and they DID pay back in advance, just by letting u and allowing u to support him
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ThornBud says:
PS. My extox really made me reconsider my smartness. latelly i was wondering: how is it possible that one dumb bull reacts on red flag, and i did not even notice it
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learnthelesson says:
Thornbud…
I own half of a Yukon somewhere out there in Pennsylvania!!!!! Simply by insurance payments and inspections payments and new tires on board and parts I dont even know the names of I LOANED to him to be able to “get to work” and also the stripclub and gym and probably even other womens houses!!! O M G OM G !!!!!
Hey we need to add to the list of SIGNS YOU ARE DATING A LOSER..
Any type of request of loan money for Automobile CHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!
And yes Thornbud, my ability to reason WENT OUT THE WINDOW… I think perhaps its the way they waved the red flag….ever so mind@@@@ingly!!!! Slowing and tainting it with hopes and dreams and sparkles and glitter — that we just didnt know what to make of it….
I think we noticed the flags, felt them in our gut…but we just didnt have the tools to react the right way and charge after them and scare them off !! LOL Instead we galavanted around with them and at times perhaps cautiously or dazed…but we put up with alot of BullCRAP! for sure!!!! Learning lessons, learning lessons….
Regaining my smarts and sense of self and seeing through the fog and fakeness and manipulative deceitful ways is what made him run away and hopefully stay away. When their mask falls, their cowardness and dysfunctional ways shine!!! We can see right through them and their red flags… So we STOP. CHANGE DIRECTION!!! I dare him to try to dance with this Taurean Bull everagain! OLE!!
))
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Done says:
Tilly,
It certainly is good coming home to LF.
And as for ticks attracting mice, I think that’s true. As long as I’m ‘cleaning house’ I’m going to re-evaluate all of my relationships bc while I was busy attending to the tick I think some less disgusting, but equally harmful mice might have snuck in.
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nomore_discomBobulat says:
OxDrover,
Couldn’t help but chime in on this one. Many diverse and chronic health problems first began decades ago after I was covered with literally thousands of ticks. We were canoeing down the Illinois river in NE Oklahoma (maybe near your neck of the woods?) when I got into a nest of ticks during a bathroom break. Both legs to the knees were covered in ticks, with no skin visible. Several weeks later both legs to the hips were covered in multiple Bull’s eye rashes. Meningitis followed in the fall and from there my health deteriorated. Have NEVER been the same since!
Was finally tested for Lyme 7 years later and only briefly treated. Possibility of other tick borne diseases as well. The year of my experience (or year before) Oklahoma had the highest cases of RMSF. Of course in those days Lyme was not admitted to be found in that part of the country, though Lyme-like illness was acknowledged in Missouri. Could go on and on about this subject but too tired to do so right now, and maybe veering off the point. Hope you don’t mind that I added my experience.
I haven’t been on here much lately because all the work I have to do to get the house appraised so I can get this divorce going and be free of him, has about done my health in. Guess back to pacing myself which means I won’t be free any time soon. Miss reading and being on here.
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Done says:
Man is anyone else watching Dateline tonight? This guy is a total P! After reading a couple of books about them it is amazing and scary how I’ve learned to recognize them in different news stories.
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shabbychic2 says:
I’ll have to watch it, it’s on in 5 minutes out here.
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James says:
Is it this one?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31005549/
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shabbychic2 says:
That looks like the script for the Dateline I just started watching!
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James says:
Thanks Shabbychic2, reading it now…
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James says:
By Josh Mankiewicz
Correspondent
Dateline NBC
updated 7:07 p.m. CT, Fri., May 29, 2009
This aired on Dateline NBC on Friday, May 29. The full video will be online by Monday, June 1
The full video won’t be on line until 6/1 so I will have to wait to see it then… But thanks again!
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shabbychic2 says:
James: I don’t know how you found it! Last week I only saw the end of Dateline and they said for more info go to dateline/msnbc, so I went to the site and I couldn’t find anything about it, and here you find a show the same day it airs. I’m going to look for last weeks show from the link you posted! D’oh.
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James says:
shabbychic2,
Yes finished reading that one and then the latest on Drew Peterson. Both of these are interesting and current. Interesting how they are about people who I believe suffer from some type of personality disorders but how it’s never brought up in these reports. Why is that?
Anyway, yes I very good at research on the web. Part of my computer training when I went back to school to learn about computers and the internet. It’s surprising what one can find on this internet highway and how quickly one can do it. Thanks again done and shabbychic2 for the infor…
Have a good night!
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shabbychic2 says:
James: I know, I was wondering the same thing the other night when I was watching Nancy Grace talk about Drew Peterson and Chris Coleman, not once did anyone say the word sociopath or psychopath, and I couldn’t understand why, and they never talk about personality disorders on any of the other shows either!!!! Good night!
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ErinBrockovich says:
Shabby and James:
The lawyers for these shows err on the side of ‘caution’ and unless diagnosed they will not allow the hosts to mention sociopath/psychopath in regards to a certain person…..don’t want to let these people have a lawsuit to file!!!
We all know, from our readings that S/P’s are hard to diagnose, due to the fact they do not seek help……so unless they are a ‘diagnosed’ s/p…….the words do not come up.
I too believe, these shows are doing a great disservice by not mentioning the words……s or p……or cluster types etc….
IF nothing at all……to raise public awareness to what’s out there ALL around us and the devastation wreaked on families….whether it’s murder or not reached that point YET!
We LF’s can feel free to write to these shows and ASK WHY it is they do not spend more time on raising the public awareness on these Cluster B type behaviors!!!! The more we YELL about it……maybe we can be heard?!
We don’t need to diagnose people……just raise awareness and educate the public on these behaviors and the stats that go along with them……if people knew how many were out there……I believe it would make an impact to some degree.
The media sure has the forum.
Just look at every ‘case’ Nancy Grace has had on in the past several weeks alone…..
Caley Anthony, the CL killer, Sunday school teacher rapist/child murderer (Ca.), The florida missing girls step mother, Drew Peterson, Oj Simpson, the PA father that was arrested for killing his wife/2 kids, the professor accused of killing wife and collegue, the mother that faked her daughters kidnapping,…….these are all accused (except oj)….not convicted…..but all exhibet obvious S/P traits….
But…..the attorney’s get in the way.
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James says:
ErinBrockovich
Thanks and that makes perfect sense. I guess the only time they could refer to a person that had a personality disorder would be if that person was diagnosis by a trained professional psychologist but even then what about law protecting people about medical conditions and what the general public can know and not know. Guess this leave it up to us again. But if we do that then we can be label as people who label other people. Can’t win I guess…
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shabbychic2 says:
EB: That thought crossed my mind this morning!!!! It’s like you were reading my mind. I just thought “maybe they haven’t been diagnosed so the people on TV can’t just use the words S/P. But I did not think about lawsuits… interesting.
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Done says:
It seems like they (the media) could at least mention the possibility. Or have a show about personality disorders and frame it as a question to avoid lawsuits, like “Could Scott Peterson be a psychopath?” I wish there was some more public awareness, maybe it would save a few victims from getting caught in the webs of these people.
And yes, James…that is the one I was watching.
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James says:
Thanks for the confirmation Done. I missed the show sorry to say but it will be on line 6/1/09 which I will watch unless it’s show again on dateline before that. The husband did get 5 years and found guilty for manslaughter. One part of it explain how he would use the tears to sell products (vitamins) for his business but could walk off stage bone dry telling others “That’s how you work a crowd”. Oh Boy! How this one let the water works go when on trail for his life. Still a very interesting story more so because of the letter his ex wife wrote before she died and her visions she believed was from “Heavenly Father”.
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James says:
OH Done, one other thing if you watch the video when he is on the stand watch how he will look up to the judge and says “who me?”. Many of us know how they will give us this line and look all so innocence like “what who me?” Anyway I wanted to yell and say “no dummy we asking the guy not sitting in the hot seat to process with your testimony” Give me a break!
(not sure if this will work but let’s try it)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21.....9#31003759
ps: if it doesn’t work let me know but the short video is worth the watch.
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Done says:
Bleah it makes me sick to watch it. It is mysterious that his ex wife wrote that letter, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he somehow coerced her into writing it, or convinced her that was her destiny somehow.
I wonder if the family members have found any literature on Ps or if they are still struggling to try to understand it.
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James says:
Done,
“I wonder if the family members have found any literature on Ps or if they are still struggling to try to understand it.”
Good question~
Yes, It makes me sick to watch it!
Being a Christian it hurt to the core whenever a manipulator will use the church and Christ’s teaching to get away with a crime.
Guess it workd on the jury because he only got the min sentence plus it took so many years just to get this one to trail.
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Done says:
Yeah, I was surprised they even convicted him…it sounded like they were really falling for his ‘charm’. And yeah, in my book it is in the same category as crimes on children/animals when someone takes advantage of someone’s faith.
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Elizabeth Conley says:
Y’know friends,
Sometimes when I see people fouling up their lives, I want to scream with fury. WTF are you thinking?!
Jeff Foxworthy has his “There’s your sign!” series of jokes about how to identify a redneck. They’re cute. I’m a redneck, and I don’t mind. They’re funny.
W oughtta have a “There’s your sign!” series of jokes about sociopaths and other cluster Bs.
I gotta say ladies, that if you’re a married mother with several children having an affair with a married man who also has kids, and he says “I love you and want to continue messing with your emotions and ruining your reputation, but I’m planning on staying with my wife whom I don’t love and and frankly enjoy humiliating with our affair, because if I leave her she’ll get sole custody of our children.” “THERE’S YOUR SIGN!!!”
Further, if he delivers this bombshell after you’ve already confessed the affair to your husband and explained that you’re running off with him, then “THERE’S YOUR SECOND SIGN!!!”
If you do not go “no contact” with this person and work your arse off to repair your marriage, then you’re a blankety-blankety-blankety-blankety…
…much profanity later – DRAMA ADDICT. You don’t want me to fill in the blanks.
Will one of you mental health professionals please explain to me why women do this sort of thing to themselves? I need some insight into this personality type.
I’ve got one of these silly broads crying on my husband’s shoulder at work, and it makes me nervous. I hope she realizes that I’m not as understanding as the other man’s wife. I hate dysfunctional drama with a grim, intolerant passion, but an ax murder can be good exercise.
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blueskies says:
ROTFLMAO!! Elizabeth that is a fantastic post. I cant wait to read the responses!
xx
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Jim in Indiana USA says:
Elizabeth Conley-”I hate dysfunctional drama with a grim, intolerant passion”
I feel your pain. I got a phone call from an acquaintance (not a close friend) about a month ago…sitting in a lawyer’s outer office…her husband filed for divorce after 20 years of marriage. She told me a brief synopsis of his “affairs”, lies, and “hiding money”. Then…”I’ll call you back later.”
So, a few days ago, I’m sitting at a light…a horn honks behind me…she leans out the window…”I’m going to call you!”
I checked the computer while at the courthouse in early May…the only “fact” I know is he filed for divorce. Third hand, I have heard accounts of his telling people of her “affairs” and drinking.
So why pick on me? Am I supposed to expend energy to figure out if there is a smear campaign and a valid “side to the story”?
I’ve had my fill of drama. That’s why I no longer go to a local website I’ve termed “Narcissist Theatre” where I first became acquainted with this couple.
I can’t help them.
“Will one of you mental health professionals please explain to me why women do this sort of thing to themselves? I need some insight into this personality type.”-Elizabeth Conley.
Oh, and then there was one of my ex-tox’s best friends…we’re talking in the school parking lot a year or more ago, and she starts to tell me her husband will be out of town this weekend and she needs to “go out and have some fun”? Well, I looked at my watch…oops, “gotta go!”
I guess what I hear is “I want to feel loved”. That’s what my ex-tox said, devaluing and discarding me, anyway.
Not my job.
Can’t save the world.
Elizabeth…let me know if the professionals have an answer.
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OxDrover says:
Dear EC and Jim,
I’m a retired professional, but that doesn’t mean I “Know MORE answers” it just means that I have more QUESTIONS.
MY OPINION is that to a great many people “real life” is BORRRRRING. There is an “old chinese curse” which goes “May you live in INTERESTING TIMES.”
War is “interesting”
Drama and homicide are “interesting”
Cancer is “interesting”
infidelity is “interesting”
Stirring up trouble is “interesting”
etc.
Why do you think Greek tragedy is “interesting” or why do so many people watch SOAP OPERAS, or Jerry Springer, or the nightly “news?” Or Crime TV? Or why do people “gossip”? Because it takes the BORING daily stuff to the back burner and something exciting and “interesting” to get our adrenaline flowing and “perk us up.” Give us something to think about or do that gives us some kind of “emotional reward” either positive or negative.
Beating your wife gets teh juices flowing, but BEING beaten also gets the juices flowing and gives you some excitement.
Mankind’s ability to stir up trouble and keep life “interesting” is well recorded in history. It isn’t like we don’t have enough troubles in this earthly life like plague, cancer, hurricaines, tornadoes, floods, etc., without man-made trouble like wars, murder, infidelity, etc.
We’re here in this site because there was an abuse of our lives in some way by someone(s) who had a personality disorder…we are also here because we didn’t fully “get it” about what was going on, and we didn’t get the heck away from these people after the FIRST time they did something to “show their colors” (even the first TINY sign they weren’t what we thought they were.) Some of us were programmed from childhood to accept this “less than stellar” treatment as “normal” so that we didn’t spot it as “abnormal” or even entirely “undesirable.”
Abusers can’t be abusers without victims. Victims can’t be victims without abusers.
At least NOW we have decided we don’t want to be victims, and we have extricated ourselves from the abusive relationships and the abusive people to the extent that we can do so (my prayers for those that have to co-parent with these monsters and others who can’t fully extricate thermselves yet for one reason or another).
ALL abusers I think are “dysfunctional” and some of us victims are not as functional as we should be, just in a different way are we dysfunctional than they are. We are TOO CARING, among other things, and sometimes also WE are addicted to the “feel good” chemicals our brains put out by associating with the psychopaths and get “hooked” into the addiction just like a coke addict or an alcoholic. We KNOW it is bad for us but we fight the addiction and lose because the high (though never as good as it was at first) is soooo good, even if we must pay with the painful lowwwwwwws.
I’m beginning to think that more people than not are living lives of “quiet desperation” and that a good many of the people we meet who appear to be “doing fine” are really NOT doing all that “fine”–they’ve either got a kid or a brother-in-law, or a nephew or someone in their circle who is a Psychopath or close enough to call it “adequate for government work” that is keeping their lives stirred up and somewhat in chaos.
The more well-to-do people just live in “better housing” to do their “drama” than the crack addicts and the street walkers, but it is all the same “dramarama.”
I’m watching a DVD series from BBC America called HOUSE OF CARDS, about a psychopath played wonderfully by Ian Richardson, who was a British politician who wanted to become Prime Minster, I’m only half way through all of the shows and he has already covertly destroyed the lives of half the cabinet in order to make himself PM, but has murdered two people as well, in his quest for POWER. He is now out to bring down the monarchy because the “king” is interfeering with his POWER and control by wanting to take care of the British PEOPLE instead of line the pockets of the rich. His wife has complete knowledge of his behavior and apparently approves of it, including his two (so far) affairs with other women. The woman he is currently (as far as I have watched) is also apparently a psychopath too, so I am interested to see how this series plays out. I love British television! I highly recommend this series if you haven’t seen it. It is pure PSYCHOPATHS AT WORK.
I guess maybe I am “becoming cynical ini my old age” but “man’s inhumanity to man” seems to be the NORM not the exception. All about DRAMA and keeping things “interesting.”
After the character in the show became PM, he became bored because he had no more “mountains to climb” and that was when he decided he needed the challenge of bringing down the king. GOT TO KEEP BUSY! CAN’T BE BORED! The mantras of the disordered and dysfunctional.
I am learning that BOREDOM is WONDERFUL! It is called PEACE when it is quiet and productive. So BOREDOM TO YOU! Keep your life BORING and UNEVENTFUL and never “interesting.”
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Elizabeth Conley says:
Jim,
“I want to feel loved.” means “I don’t want to behave in a lovable manner, or to behave in a loving way. I just want to be sure that you’ll put up with me no matter how badly I treat you.”
I know enough bimbo-doublespeak to interpret that one for you.
They don’t know what they mean, because that kind of introspection is uncomfortable, and they don’t do “uncomfortable”. There’s no point in being sharp with these whiny bed-wetters, they’ll just dribble salt water all over you. Back away slowly, and you won’t be drowned in impending histrionic crying jag.
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Jim in Indiana USA says:
“I want to feel loved.” means “I don’t want to behave in a lovable manner, or to behave in a loving way. I just want to be sure that you’ll put up with me no matter how badly I treat you.”–Elizabeth Conley
ROTFLMAO…Now that I have been on Lovefraud…I have the answer…”Leave me alone. Get a dog!”
…and “bimbo-doublespeak”…that’s a classic!
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Elizabeth Conley says:
Oxdrover,
I think you just pegged it:
“MY OPINION is that to a great many people “real life” is BORRRRRING. There is an “old chinese curse” which goes “May you live in INTERESTING TIMES.”
War is “interesting”
Drama and homicide are “interesting”
Cancer is “interesting”
infidelity is “interesting”
Stirring up trouble is “interesting”
etc.”
I guess deep down inside I knew this, so the idea of the silly git drizzling on my husband’s broad shoulder made me anxious. She’s due to move on soon (job change), hopefully she won’t do any damage on the way out the door.
My husband is one of the most sensible men in the world. He’s also one of the kindest. I guess I’ll have to have faith in his common sense.
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slimone says:
Hey Oxy and All–
“We are TOO CARING, among other things, and sometimes also WE are addicted to the “feel good” chemicals our brains put out by associating with the psychopaths and get “hooked” into the addiction just like a coke addict or an alcoholic. We KNOW it is bad for us but we fight the addiction and lose because the high (though never as good as it was at first) is soooo good, even if we must pay with the painful lowwwwwwws.”
Could you please quit picking my brain and childhood apart?OUCH@! It hurts!
. Brain Surgery by Oxy.
As for the boredom…..I have a terrific personal example of my own addictive nature, and how I am not fully embracing ‘non-drama’ yet. I recently forgot to get my professional license renewed until the very last effing second, giving my boss reason to talk with me and dock my pay. How embarrassing and needless. Sure did make for some good conversations with girlfriends, some missed sleep– some good old guilt and drama. Course I still feel like an ass****.
When will I get it? As the Buddhist proverb states: Chop wood, carry water. Why make it more dramatic, and suffer?
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slimone says:
One more thing. I was talking to a therapist and she said something about infants being born who were like ‘crack babies’. Not because the mothers did drugs, but because they were so stressed out. They ended up producing so many stress hormones/transmitters, that the fetus gets used to the high levels of fight or flight ingredients.
She said this is one theory of folks who have (not PD’d folks) issues with seeking drama (and the subsequent release of these stress hormones).
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OxDrover says:
Dear Slimone,
sorry about the “brain surgery”—! I think I “resemble that remark” too much too….I’ve been under some kind of stress most of my life, to the point I got to feel it was normal.
I am working hard on the “non-dramatic” life, and it is becoming more “natural” to me now…still not there, and may never be totally “There” but I think it is much better than it has ever been before.
Easing away from “drama queens” is a big step, and getting rid of the users and abusers and people who do not respect my boundaries is helping too.
The last “friend” I dumped was a very long term friend that broke his word to me over essentially “nothing big” but it was in a series of increasingly rude instances and I just didn’t want to deal with it any more. When I confronted him (gently) about it, he reacted (over reacted) with name calling, shouting etc. and that was the END.
I just don’t need “dishonest” and “rude” people in my life, whether it is a “small” dishonesty or a “large” one. It is getting easier to shed these people without a lot of guilt, feeling bad, asking myself if I am doing the “right” thing, etc. I’m learning to set boundaries and not second guess myself.
Not feeling the need to “rescue” people, though I still am willing to “Help” people who are trying to help themselves. Or as Jesus said, “giving, without expectation of repayment.”
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Tilly says:
So many good things to read at the moment but I am flat out working, I SOO need it! I need my dose of LF to stay well. But its gonna have to wait a bit, as” life happens”.
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slimone says:
Tilly,
Hope you get lots done. We will be expecting you back, soon!
Oxy, Yes. Me too. I have weeded my relationship garden as well. If it’s a weed, no matter how small, it goes. Only the friends who are completely trustable and clear with me get to play.
And I am attempting to compassionately weed my ‘inner’ garden, as well.
As for the brain surgery– I could use a little brain surgery. And you seem like a fine surgeon!
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ThornBud says:
Learthelesson
sorry for delay.i was busy reading in here, swallowing and digesting. i found myself lost within posts, still absorbing every single post, every time surprised with magnitude of similarities.
As u pictured: ” I dont even know the names of I LOANED to him to be able to “get to work” and also the stripclub and gym and probably even other womens houses!!! O M G OM G !!!!!
Scenario goes like this: First, “WE” need a car, than “WE” need to fix it, “WE” need new tyres…and at the end, HE needs to drive his new victim. YEAH, OMGOMGOMG
Anyways, we all know what will be the last stop of da ride – straight where it belongs: to the old cars cemetery.
OLE!!
))
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robxsykobabe says:
Hi everyone…
This post again, hits home as I struggle with letting myself off the hook for my nievity. My situation, Im sure, is quite similar to most everyone elses. I will share a bit relating to the post.
Hmmmm…when did I notice he was similar to a parasite? Lets see…was it when he volunteered me to drive his child (who lives 1.5 hours away from me) home every other weekend? No, no, maybe it was when he left my house 3 times after a fight, gave me back my keys and begged harder and harder each time for me to give them back. No, that wasnt it either. Maybe it was when he began telling people ‘we’ lived in a condo—which is a lie…he’s lived with his parents SINCE IVE KNOWN HIM (3.5 years to be exact, and he’s gonna be 36). Ummmm, maybe it was when he left his childs bike at my house after I told him “no” because I had no room for it. Or MAYBE…maybe it was after he ignored me for the weekend because I told him I wouldnt co-sign a motorcycle for him LET ALONE buy it outright for him!
It makes my stomache hurt knowing I did alot of ‘things’ for him, believing I was “in a relationship”, that I wouldn’t have otherwise done. I opened MY home to him and his child and gave of my things freely, only to be taken advantage of time and time again and attempted to be made to feel guilty for saying no!
Ill never forget his line to me (as he broke up with ME-via text mind you)…”your boundaries are what kept out alot of what I needed most”…
How sick is that, how sick is that?
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robxsykobabe says:
Oh…and speaking about bordem…
I am quite hyper to begin with so I enjoy being ‘busy’. Running most of the day all day isnt uncommon for me-EXCEPT on the weekends. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to lay in bed on a Saturday or Sunday, taking cat naps intermittently through the day, after the gym, or after a shower.
What I noticed and hadnt thought about it too much until now, is my ex COULD NOT enjoy any form of relaxation. We HAD to be doing something from the ass crack of dawn until bed time…and I would be repeatedly asked “what should we do now?” It got to the point that when we had his child at my house, HE had to be doing SOMETHING or was very unhappy…and I dont mean playing in his room by himself, either.
That always did strike me as odd…how he couldnt enjoy the art of timeless nothingness…why is that does anyone suppose?
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creampuff says:
Oxy, you really should write a book….I have often thought of the tick analogy….so true….they do infect people, and so often early on we ignore the symptoms or brush them off as nothing..I too, have aged, felt crazy myself, because I could not seem to make anyone see what I saw…I see my poor son in law with the huge tick on his nose that you talked about. He’s become used to the tick now..every time you try to point the tick out to him, he will defend the tick and get offended..it is part of his nose…at least I don’t have to see my tick everyday, but she is there and it has left me weak…with this blog though I am being validated, and that does give hope. I never knew there were so many of us …that is comforting and quite distressing at the same time. My 2 ticks just seem to be getting more and more blood thirsty the older they get! These girls are in their mid thirties now and they haven’t slowed down one bit…it feels so weird to refer to your children as ticks, but it is true !!! Love you guys…
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OxDrover says:
Dear Creampuff,
Your step daughter may be a tick, but my P-son is a VAMPIRE bat, literally sucking the life out of people and killing them.
And you are right, until your son-in-law sees and feels the tick for himself it is part of him.
Thanks for the kind comments—I have writtenn a “book” it isx just here in a bunch of posts! Maybe 10 books.
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FlatBrokeNow says:
Oxy,
You blew the wind out of my sails! Had a similar story all ready to go, and decided to search a bit more, and found yours here already!
In another article Donna mentioned how animals can love, and scary shark attacks too, but do ticks love, and do we feel it? Do we miss them after removal? I think they miss us more, but only because of their thirst.
I made a mental list of things I miss about my tick. Here it is.
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