Brian Ellington arrested in New York City
PDF One of Lovefraud’s con artist poster boys, James Brian Ellington, was arrested in New York City on May 15, 2009 at nearly 1 a.m. for trespass, forced entry and assault. According to the New York Post, where the case was cited in yesterday’s police blotter, Ellington “was arrested for assaulting a female friend when she demanded that he leave her Upper East Side apartment.”
Lovefraud was advised of the arrest by a reader that afternoon, who said Ellington “is scheduled to be arraigned tonight, and due to his criminal past, is unlikely to make bail. Furthermore, he has no money for bail and no one left to lend it to him, having even called the woman he assaulted from the courthouse to beg for her help.”
Loveraud forwarded the information to Eve Hawkins, one of Ellington’s many victims who wrote about her experience in our case study. Since Hawkins went public about the case, even creating a website called Brian Ellington: Lost Wallet Con Artist, she’s heard from perhaps a dozen other people who he victimized. Besides the lost wallet scam, Ellington liked to pretend to be a golf pro, betting $500 to $1,000 per hole, and when he lost, skipping out without paying.
Previous warrants for Ellington’s arrest had been issued. Hawkins and some of the guy’s other victims are in touch with New York City police and prosecutors to make sure they have all the information about the guy’s criminal history. The status of the case is available on the New York State Unified Court System website.
The Lovefraud reader who passed on this most recent tip wrote, “Thank you so much for keeping this site up and this information available. i truly believe it just helped save a woman’s life.”
Lovefraud hopes this predator gets locked up for a long time.
written by Donna Andersen • Permalink •
kindheart48 says:
i am sitting here thinking i am so sick of obsessing over this shit that i can’t stand myself anymore. I want to be in the moment with people and places and things and every time i have the slightest contact or trigger im back in this horrible thinking. Yes i agree with the post as far as being vulnerable, im sure i show it. when in the trauma program the y made me sit and listen to the other 4 people in my cohort about my good qualities and a lady opp said she admired my vulnerablity why i can’t imagine. I wish i was a hardass woman who wouldn’t take an ounce of crap and i know i have to change my thinking but im at such a loss im trying desperately to make sense and there just insn’t any point as my one gf has been trying to tell me just forget it and don’t think about it and im plump thunk out to be honest. I want my mind back and i guess i just have to get mad enough to just say i’ve had it , i don’t give up easily and this is one time i need to throw the towel in. You are all right about where i’ve been socializing and i know it deep inside just like i know so many things . For a smart woman i’ve made so many stupid choices and decisions . None of what i’ve been doing has been working for me and i have to stop it , give it up, which sounds so easy. I never imagined i could quit drinking and i did so i know it’s possible. Years ago i was obsessed with my first real love and it carried on for years even into my marriage and i now realize how unhealthy that was and it was all over rejection. Why this rejection runs so deep in my i have no idea but i have to get over it or it’s going to destroy my whole life. This rejection is what is controlling me and making me feel inferior like insignificant . Im going to start focusing on the people who don’t reject me and care for me and i have many whom i should be very grateful for including everyone on this site. This experience has prob been the worst nightmare but it’s over and i can’t change a nightmare. Thanks for all the support on here. kh
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witsend says:
Oxy,
I am begining to think that you were sent to me to be my guidance, teacher….You know, when the student
is ready the teacher will appear…
Naturally in the midst of all the problems, I prayed to God for what I wanted. THE DOORS TO open instead of closing. The miraculous intervention! I prayed for it…..Solutions.
A friend of mine who reads the bible and can quote from it always tells me that God is, above all else our Father. And she claims that there is a place in the bible that even refers to children w/o a father. (such as my son) And that is what I started praying for recently.
Please God be the Father for my son….Thats it..End of prayer.
Interesting that you would mention the being uncooperative issue with me! I actually have started incorporating this into our lives MORE JUST RECENTLY.
It kind of started by accident a few weeks ago. On the days my son works, he gets home at about 9-10pm. He is hungry some days and not hungry others when he grabs something to eat at work.
Instead of having something ready for him to reheat when he gets home I have taken to letting him figure out if there is anything in the fridge to eat. Since the weather change I find myself sometimes working in the garden until evening and don’t cook a real “dinner” everynight. Sometimes I just grab a sandwich.
Quite by accident it seems, that I have found that this crosses some invisible line with him over his “entitelment” of me owing him AT LEAST THE OPTION of a good homecooked meal.
I am almost ashamed to say that I have “worked” this entitlement issue with him SINCE finding out this by accident,
on many other levels.
One day in the car he asked me to stop at the store before he went to work (right after school) and he wanted something to drink. He has gym last period in school so he was all sweaty and red faced, it was a hot day so seemed like a reasonable request.
Once at the store, in the parking lot, I found that he didn’t bring any money, no problem I gave him enough EXACT MONEY for a bottle of water or pop. WELL IT SEEMS he had decided he wanted an energy drink. And I refused to give him enough money for an energy drink. I don’t like energy drinks
for kids and don’t provide them.
I was prepared to leave the store without him getting anything to drink. So he put his ONE leg out of the car & wouldn’t
get IN or OUT until I gave him more money. He got that CRAZY look in his eyes…..And I just sat there.
Finally I said get in the car if you want a ride to work OR get out of the car and start walking.
He was very angry, did his verbal abusive thing he does and I was able to maintain my composure because we were in a public place. I could have sat there all day.
Currently he wants to get his drivers permit. I flat out told him NO WAY. Until he cooperates around here no way is he going to drive my car for the “hours” that are required with a parent IN THE CAR to get his license once the Drivers Ed course is completed. Not with the lack of respect he shows me.
They no longer offer drivers ed in our schools so you have to pay an “outside agency” for a course and the kid has to complete many hours driving WITH a parent before the actual license can be obtained.
He can wait until he is 18 years old and then just go through the course w/o the “hours” of driving with a parent as is NOW required at 16 to obtain a license.
His retaliation for my new attitude has been that he refuses to cut the grass and other things that he tries to do to push my buttons. He refuses to tell me where he is going. Just leaves the house. He won’t answer his phone when I call or DOESN’T bring his phone with him. He continues to be more angry in this situation but I find I am getting angry as well.
I do still send him to school. I think,if I had to spend 24 hours a day with him one of us would snap. It’s going to be a LONG summer as it is. I DREAD IT.
He has 6 more days of school and I NEED EVERY ONE OF THOSE DAYS. It is my time to “re-group”. To get some work done. As I work at home alot and when the chaos is here I am unable to focus on work.
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OxDrover says:
Good for you Witsend,
They want all the “entitlements” but they don’t want the responsibility that goes with them.
Since he doesn’t answer his phone when you call or “doesn’t take it with him”—do you pay for it? Cancel it.
The “sitting there all day” is a good way to handle it.
I would hire someone to cut the grass and just INFORM him that since you are having to hire the grass cut, that you will NOT be providing him with ANY spending money of any kind for ANYTHING since you are using all the money to pay the person cutting the grass.
He is obviously trying to intimidate you and showing fear is like letting a dog know you are afraid of them, it makes them worse. I would also try my best not to show anger, just be “matter of fact”–i.e. sit there all day until he cooeprates or doesn’t.
Since he expects a “home cooked meal” I would make SURE there is nothing in the house that he can eat by heating up, just stuff he would have to cook. Just say “I didn’t feel like cooking today.” Whatever is IMPORTANT TO HIM, don’t do it. Whether it is an energy drink or whatever. Ditto the laundry, let him do the laundry for himself. “I didn’t feel like doing your laundry” (no other “reason,” just I didn’t feel like doing it.)
The driver’s license is IMPORTANT TO THEM, and many of them feel “entitled” (kids) so that is a big thing, but at the same time, GUARD YOUR KEYS so he doesn’t take the car while you sleep. My little darling was taking the second car while I was a t work at night and joy riding around town (probably looking for stuff to steal) also stole our cars in the middle of the night to haul his loot from a theft even after he had moved out. We caught right on when the engine were warm in the morning! DUH! Who did he think we would think took our cars and RETURNED them before day light! LOL ROTFLMAO
I am sure your summer will be bad, but if you keep your cool, and just don’t make any demands on him, but at the same time DO NOTHING FOR HIM, NOTHING!!!! He might (if there is any hope at all) “see the light”—-or he might at least start FAKING IT! That was what mine did for a while at least. Didn’t last long though.
YOU OWE YOURSELF to take care of you. He is NOT a baby, and there are consequences, immediate concequences to being an asshole, and if you are an asshole to me, I will NOT DO THINGS for you. That’s life, buddy! Take it or leave it. I am your mother not your maid.
Good luck, sweetie, and KEEP ON PRAYING. The Bible also says that if a “father loves his son he disciplines him” and that “whom God lovesth he chaistens” so sometimes God has to get their attention—-and it isn’t fun. I can tell you, God has got my attention now, and I am changing my outlook and my behavior. It is time. I didn’t listen for a long time! (((hugs))) and always prayers!
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Rune says:
Witsend: I strongly encourage you to track down that book, “Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy.” It may help you keep your cool as you’re trying these tactics. The less emotion you show, the less he’s “winning” in the interaction. Be as “matter-of-fact” as you can, so that you’re not “doing it TO him.” It takes the “fun of the fight” out of the interaction. The book was a huge support for me as I was practicing this behavior.
I want to caution you, though. You may see any manner of changes in his behavior, and they won’t necessarily be good. Prepare yourself to take action. Please promise yourself that if “X” happens, you will do “Y.” Be prepared that if you know that you, for example, need to dial “911,” you will do that — as calmly and as rationally as you can.
I very, very much understand that you are dealing with a most serious situation. Shifting the way you are handling it now, though, can create opportunities for new solutions.
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witsend says:
Rune & Oxy,
I will go to the library to see if they have the book. I need to maintain keeping my cool over here.
My son has a prepaid phone. He bought this particular phone and he pays for the minute/text time himself.
I stopped paying for the minutes long ago when the prepaid phone I provided him with wasn’t good enough because it didn’t have texting on it.
My son actually has very little “currency” to work with as Dr Phil calls it. He does not have as many “wants” that most teenagers are consumed with. Finally the drivers ed thing has come up recently. (some currency)
Last year he was eligable to take drivers ed. He didn’t push it and neither did I. This year he is pushing for it and because of his piss poor attitude at school and at home and lack of respect for me I say NO WAY.
He countered that he was going to pay for it (drivers ed) and I can’t stop him!
I said NO WAY. He can take Drivers Ed if he chooses. (I’m not sure how he will get there, unless he uses dial a ride and that is a possibility) BUT in ORDER to get past a “drivers permit” he needs to spend many driving hours with a PARENT/guardian to obtain a license at this age. AND I AM THE ONLY PARENT he’s got. So as far as I’m concerned he can wait until he is 18. Or changes his attitude, whatever comes first.
Of course he “has gotton many over me”. The grass is one. He knows because I made the mistake of telling him that I can’t afford to have lawn service. I can’t cut it myself because the fresh cut grass/dust makes me wheeze.
I figure when the cops knock on my door to give me a warning/violation of grass being to tall for city ordinace crap, and present me with a fine…..Although I will have to pay the fine I will also let them know that my teenager refuses to cut the grass and that they might send his butt home TO CUT THE GRASS when they see him skate boarding in town.
Doesn’t exactly help me with my problem of the fine or the grass but doesn’t help his case much either. As cops already seem to zero in on the skateboarders downtown. So a little extra harassment would just be more for him to contend with.
The problem with this although still in the early stages is that it just fuels his already dark side.
It is like he has been moving me around on his chess board like a game piece and I am taking on different “tactic” but the truth is, his dark side is something to fear. And although I don’t try to show my fear of him I certainly do back off sometimes when I feel physical confrontation.
And we are really not “playing a game here”. And ANY change he might “try” (to get what he wants)
for his own “strategy” to win is going to be temporary, at best.
He “works” his brother ALL the time. Currently manipulating him with the drivers ed thing. Worked him awile back with selling him his computer.
His older brother is an ADULT. And although he sees that his brother is failing at school and has a very lame plan for his future he is CLUELESS as to how his “baby” brother manipulaes him to the max. He has the same ability with his grandparents. Hence my feeling more “alone” in this situation as the other adults in his life seem to be “taken in” by his endless bull sh*t.
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Rune says:
Witsend: This is all familiar ground to me. I hope you find the book quickly. It’s about $15 at the major bookstores, in paperback — “Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!” You might even try the used bookstores in your area.
Again, it’s not a “bible,” but it had advice that I’d never seen anywhere else, and it seemed well-grounded and it helped me a lot.
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Tilly says:
Thankyou once again everybody on LF for being there for me!
Witsend: Oxy is the one who said enough things for me to identify my oldest daughter as a psychopath. My daughter is now 30 years old! So you are WAY ahead of me in those stakes! I have put up with her for 30 years…blaming myself entirely the whole time (FOG)! I just assumed it was all my fault.
It wasn’t until I came to LF, not long ago, that I worked it out. Especially once I realised psychopaths could be genetic too. Previously,I ALWAYS thought psychopaths had had a childhood like mine and it wasn’t their fault. That was one of the factors of why I kept ending up with them. They would tell me how the priests beat them since they were four years OR how their parents neglected them etc, and I fell for it.
I have been in the denial/grieving phase in regard to my daughter being a P. Denying it by putting her out of my mind everytime I thought of her. Grieving because I have been through enough with psychopaths to know she definitely is one. With a big dose of FEAR thrown in because I know whats ahead of me now that I have made the no contact rule. She has started her insidious manipulating behind my back already. However there are two things in my favour . She is trying to use my mother, brother and father in her plans of attack. They are all psychopaths . She doesn’t seem to realise that there is NOTHING she can do with these people that I havn’t had happen already. She doesn’t know they are the worse than her and they have a lifetime of experience in psychopathic behaviour . If she goes to live with them (this is one of her lpans to hurt me huh!) they will all devour each other.
I was hoping she would go and stay with her father who is the worst one of all. It wouldn’t take long for them all to get sick of each other.
She can hurt me through my two younger brothers.
The youngest one is my closest friend in life and such a gentle sweetheart. He has insight to male psychopaths because of my partners, but he can’t recognise female ones, (yet). He is only 20 years old.
I don’t know if my middle son is a cluster B or not. We are not in close contact and he has never tried to harm me. But he only calls me mothers day, my birthday and Christmas Day. Whenever I have tried to have more contact than that, he won’t be in it. He is 26. He spent most of his life from 11 years on with his crocodile father, out in the bush. And he was a latch- key kid. So I know he would not have much capacity to maintain intimacy. But I don’t know where he is on the P scale. I’m begging God that he is not a cluster B and that one day we can be closer. In the meantime I am working on my acceptance of how he is. At least he has never tried to harm me or blame me. But I have immense grief over letting the psychopath take him from 11 on. What a mistake!!!
So thankyou Rune and Rosa and everybody! Today, for me… its like three steps forward and two steps back. Sometimes the triggers are shocking and I have to run home and hide from the world (like now).
I can only compare it to being shown around the concentration camps of Hilers /gas chambers/ torture chambers. On days like today I feel raw because of these triggers. But LF survivors remind me I am not alone in this! I know you have been there too!Thankyouxoxoxoxoxoxo
T
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Tilly says:
Above post I meant “She can help me through my two younger SONS…her brothers)
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Tilly says:
PPS, sorry Im not with it today, should read,” she can HURT me”.
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Rune says:
Hello Tilly:
I’ve been on a long journey through the “outback” of my life, and uncovering many scary creatures as I re-evaluate what I had thought was reality. Yes, there is freedom in finally seeing the dysfunction in those hurtful patterns of behavior and realizing that it comes from a disorder that we just can’t fix in those people — not through loving them more, or counseling or even “setting boundaries.”
But, Oh the heart-ripping pain to see that our own flesh, our own beloveds, are among those we cannot heal.
With the clarity you have, perhaps you can still reach those who can be reached.
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OxDrover says:
Dear Tilly, Witsend and Rune,
The collaterial damage that others do in enabling the psychopaths, Tilly mentioned her parents, etc. and Witsend also mentioned the Ps manipulations of others who don’t get it what they are…yep, it sure does get “sticky” but I tried to keep the “family” together and instead they kicked me out! Actually the best thing that could have happened to me, bcause I finally came to SEE what I refused to see before, they were ALL disordered in one way or another. A TOXIC enabler is what I have termed a “psychopath-by-proxy” because they attack you FOR the P. They do the bidding of the P, they may simply be dysfunctional dupes or may be covert Ps under the control of teh “master manipulator” but the point is that they are just as TOXIC as the Ps and the ONLY way we can protect ourselves from them is NO CONTACT. to the extent possible.
Witsend your son can “pay for” the class himself, but in most states a PARENT HAS TO GIVE APPROVAL and assume responsibility. So, you ultimately have the CONTROL on that one and that is definitely currency for you as driving is the ONE thing the kids seem to crave more than anything else.
Mine never had a problem driving without a license though, so again i caution you to keep CONTROL of your KEYS.
I like rune’s comment about being in the “outback” of her life, and I sure feel that way sometimes, but at least I am now in a sanctuary in the outback where the Ps can’t come in. I am finally feeling safer here, and my sons are feeling safer here. We can breathe non-toxic air, laugh and love and enjoy the blessings that God has given us without the toxic FOG surrounding our heads.
For those that are still living and must live in chaos and stress surrounded by toxic fumes, all I can say is to put yourself and your needs FIRST. SAFETY FIRST, and some time for yourself is paramount in surviving, much less in healing. I found that as long as I was in the CHAOS of trying to fix them, I didn’t have the presence of mind to see the “trees for the forest” and my decisions were not always good because of that.
I know for a fact we don’t think well under extreme stress. I am the POSTER CHILD (ok, the Poster OLD LADY”) FOR THAT ONE!
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Notsostupid says:
shesaid: Do not know blondgirlnyc. Have known James/Brian since last Fall, however never let him close enough to really affect my life. I spoke to him randomly, saw him for a drink occassionally. Thats it. Has anyone heard from him? is he still in jail?
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shesaid says:
According to the NYC department of corrections inmate lookup, he is being held at one of the Riker’s Island prison facilities near LaGuardia Airport:
http://a072-web.nyc.gov/inmate.....3490908045
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Iknow says:
I knew he would evenutally get caught. He is a piece of crap who has stolen from me on several occasions, money, cell phone, wallet, credit card etc.
Barb, dont take all the credit kid, I set the balls in motion.
You also knew more that youre letting everyone know dont play innocent.
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Rosa says:
Hi Tilly!!
This is the best I could do. I changed the ending of the joke to make it more appropriate for us.
Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.
As they walk, they come across a sign: “Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“I am entering!” said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, “Well, how’d you do?”
“First place!” said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see a sign: “Contest for the strongest man in the world.”
“I’m entering,” says Superman.
After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, “How did you make out?”
“First Place,” answers Superman. “Did you ever doubt?”
They continue walking when they see a sign:
“Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?”
“I’m entering,” says Pinocchio.
After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
“What happened?” they asked.
“Who the hell is Brian Ellington?” asked Pinocchio.
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Tilly says:
HA HA!!! I LOVE IT!!! YOU’RE MY HERO ROSA!!
except its not snow white its “Rosa” who is the most beautful, and its not superman its “Tilly” who is the strongest woman in the world…and if anyone on LF tries to rescue Pinnochio I will boomerang them to down under
Oxy, I always lose at hide and seek…..!
I got accoclades last night for my two heads of God chopped in half (God has a sense of humour too).
ErinB: Never appologise for a good joke!
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shesaid says:
Ellington is currently incarcerated in New York. He pled guilty to the Bronx larceny charge last week and was sentenced, from what I can see, to 1 yr prison time but it lists ‘Conditional Release’ instead of actual imprisonment.
Meaning Ellington now has a larceny/criminal possession of stolen property conviction in New York.
He is still being held at Riker’s because of the two other charges that there are hearings for today and tomorrow. I called the ADA in Queens to ask if she can get the conditional release revoked because he needs to serve his sentence. Have not got a call back just yet.
UPDATED Case Information (Bronx Larceny Conviction)
Court: BRONX
Case #: 34063C-2008
Defendant: Ellington,james B
Date/ Part Judge CalendarSection Arraignment/ Hearing Type Court Reporter Outcome/Release Status
06/01/2010CD-S SEALING No Type
06/02/2009 60 Dawson, J COMPLAINTS No Type Goodman, E
Pled Guilty, Sentence Imposed
05/26/2009 MCP Fabrizio, R COMPLAINTS No Type Carias-mier, Adjourned Same Bail Conditions
05/19/2009 W Greenberg, E COMPLAINTS No Type Sasso,
Adjourned, Returned On Warrant Bond $3,000 Cash $1,000 (Not Posted)
09/22/2008 MCP Villegas, G COMPLAINTS No Type Martinez,
Parole Revoked,warrant Ordered
08/05/2008 MCP Foley, E COMPLAINTS No Type Tirado,
Warrant Stayed
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Matt says:
shesaid:
Does Ellington have a prior felony conviction in New York? If so, as a predicate felon he is supposed to serve a year and a day in prison, not jail.
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shesaid says:
Ellington has criminal charges in California, past criminal charges in Washington state, a criminal conviction record in North Carolina….
…The larceny conviction last week was our first successful crime conviction in New York State.
…The results of the hearing re Manhattan assault yesterday were another adjournment and the website now says a hearing and trial is scheduled on that June 25.
New York City VINE Program
Victim Information ; Notification Everyday
Every Victim has the Right to Know…
• Inmate Release Notification • Inmate Custody Information
(888) 846-3469
It is a number anyone can call to find out Ellington’s current incarceration status and the website says this is more updated than the online offender lookup.
If you call the above number, to get his status you have to enter his NY State ID as 0935186R – the court website has it listed without a zero at the beginning, you have to put the zero to get the lookup to work.
I just called and it said “This offender is currently being held by the New York City Department of Corrections”.
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Tilly says:
Shesaid:
Sorry, but I can’t promise that. I’m on here to heal me. If it helps others on their way, so be it. If not, can’t help that.
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Tilly says:
PPS: A good friend of mine gave me some advice the other day, that might help you:
“For those that are still living and must live in chaos and stress surrounded by toxic fumes, all I can say is to put yourself and your needs FIRST. SAFETY FIRST, and some time for yourself is paramount in surviving, much less in healing. I found that as long as I was in the CHAOS of trying to fix them, I didn’t have the presence of mind to see the “trees for the forest” and my decisions were not always good because of that.”
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UnknownGirl says:
Brian has made his Manhattan Court Appearance. His attorney has brought forward Barb who now claims she was tricked into signing her statement. Sorry Folks, but it looks like Barb is not pressing charges against the beloved Mr. Ellington. (Note : this info was relayed by a friend who happened to be present in the court and wasn’t there long enough to determine if the ADA was moving forward with the case)
So, I guess this leaves Queens… What will happen? Will he be free on the streets soon?
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UnknownGirl says:
Further update — Brian has pled guilty to a misdemeanor and was sentenced to 30 days jail. He’s still in custody for the Queens charges and will make another court appearance on July 8th. Anyone have $2.00 to post his bail??
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shesaid says:
UnknownGirl, the inmate lookup says Ellington was released today:
http://a072-web.nyc.gov/inmate.....3490908045
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Notsostupid says:
Is he really out???? thats scary! now where will he go and who will he suck the money out of next??? do you really think that BArb would take him back or help him after what he did to her??
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anonymous1 says:
Ellington got out of jail June 26. It has been confirmed now that Barb is back with Ellington. Not only is she back with Ellington but is standing by and or assisting as he approaches, threatens and intimidates other victims. He has only been out of jail 3 days and several people are afraid to go home. He has contacted at least one person despite being told not to, and he is doing his usual thing of trying to intimidate victims by threatening them with criminal charges and legal action. An assistant district attorney said today his bail was set at $10,000 for his harrassment charges because they wanted to keep him in jail until his trial and they set that amount thinking it would keep him in.
Someone paid Ellington’s 10,000 bail last week and someone is paying for him to have a private attorney. Someone decided it would be ok to let a predator with an extensive criminal history back out on the street, the same predator who when he gets out immediately returns to committing crimes ie harassing people.
It is a complete mystery why Barb who is a self admitted crime victim who stated she was drugged, stolen from, and assaulted would not only take back a predator into her life but assist him in terrorizing other crime victims, people who have been extensively harassed, in at least two other cases drugged, stolen from.
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UnknownGirl says:
Any update on today’s appearance?? I am interested in hearing the outcome… Please post if you know the details.
Thanks.
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pleaseshowme says:
how do you tell them you still love them?
my best friend was/is a victim. she kept going back to him and continued to hide it. in her increasing torture, she lashed out at the very people who were trying to help her. she chased me away.
was my “help” enabling her? did believing her make it easier for her to convince herself that her lies, and his, were true? i felt as if i’d pulled her from the path of a speeding train just for her to walk off a cliff.
it’s been months since i’ve heard from her… until the other day. she texted and called, but i didn’t know how to answer. for two days i tried but couldn’t stop crying long enough to go through with it.
is it real? is it a trick or a trap? or worse, is it just a temporary hold again? a part of an excuse? and… where is HE?
or does she really need me? with all the help she does need, am i capable or qualified? – i think if i failed again, she might be lost forever.
we both still have so much healing to do. i don’t know how to help when now i kinda need it too. it feels so selfish.
how do i let her know how much i still love her? i miss her, and still worry about her every day. i hope she knows i still believe in her.
i guess that for now i can only hope she reads this.
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OxDrover says:
De4ar Pleaseshowme,
Welcome to LoveFraud, you are in the right place.
How do you tell her you love her? Pick up that phone and call her, or text her–my guess is that he is gone and now she NEEDS YOU….if he is still with her, then just sweetly back out, she WILL be back….that’s what happens when we try to warn them about what they are dealing with, but AT THAT TIME they are unable to hear us because the monster’s voice over whelms and drown’s out our voice in their ears….but when they get out of the FOG they can hear us again, and that is when they need us the most. I hope that is the situation with your friend.
For a REAL friend, it is never too late to say “I LOVE YOU.” Good luck and let us know how it turns out.
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NYC123 says:
According to the NY State Unified Court website It appears that Ellington was arrested yet again December 16, 2009 and has a court date February 24 regarding a misdemeanor arrest “Description: Fail Py-srv Bsd On Stelth”
Details from Court website:
Defendant Name:Ellington, James Birth Year:1974
NYSID:935186R Status:
Incident and ArrestIncident
Date:December 16, 2009
Summons/Ticket #: CJTN:63935527M
Arrest Date & Time:December 16, 2009 04:32
Arrest #:M09711513
Officer No Officer Information on File
Attorney InformationDefense Attorney Type:Legal Aid
Court Date:January 12, 2010 Court Part:DAT
Address:49 Thomas Street, New York, NY 10013
Phone:212-732-5000
Assistant District Attorney Name:Iverson, E
Assigned:January 12, 2010
Next AppearanceDate:February 24, 2010
Court:New York Criminal Court
Case Information
Court:
New York Criminal Court
Case #:
2010NY001904
Defendant:
Ellington, James Charge Detail Disposition/Sentence
PL 165.15 02 **TOP CHARGE** A Misdemeanor, 1 count, Arrest charge, Arraignment charge
Description: Fail Py-srv Bsd On Stelth
01/12/2010 DAT Mella, R PENDING Desk Appearance Ticket Bent, A Case Continued (adjourned) Released on Recognizance
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NYC123 says:
According to http://criminaljustice.state.n.....an/pl2.pdf, the code PL 165.15.02 is THEFT OF SERVICES – Failure to pay based on Stealth.
This just proves – he doesn’t stop unless the law physically imprisons him. This is at least his fourth arrest in New York City alone since 2006. The arrests were for: 2009 Assault, 2006 harrassment, 2008 larceny, 2009 theft of services – when is the city of New York going to stop “releasing him on his own recognizance” and keep him in jail where he belongs?
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pollyannanomore says:
Well at least this will slow him down a bit … it is some small measure of justice – many of us don’t ever get to see the people who destroyed our lives charged with anything.
Are you one of his targets?
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updates says:
2006 Harrassment and subsequent Bail jumping cases have been finalized, per New York online webcrims court website – Ellington pled guilty and was sentenced to 45 days imprisonment with fines also, however in the appareance section by “pled guilty” it says RoR which is “Release on Recognicance”:
Case #:
2006QN064460
Defendant: Ellington, James B
Defendant Name: Ellington, James B
Birth Year:1974
NYSID:935186R
Incident and Arrest
Incident Date:October 8, 2006
Summons/Ticket #: CJTN:58559225P
Arrest Date & Time:November 16, 2006 12:30
Arrest #:Q06662484
Officer Agency:NYPD Command:108
Attorney InformationDefense Attorney
Type:Legal Aid
Court Date:May 22, 2009 Court Part:AP1
Address:120-46 Queens Boulevard, Kew Gardens, NY 11415
Phone:718-286-2000 Assistant District Attorney Assigned:June 11, 2009
Next AppearanceDate:November 29, 2010
Court:Queens Criminal Court Part:CASHIER
Docket Sentence Description:
CVA Fee Imposed $25
Imprisonment for 45 Days
Final Order of Protection 3 Years
Surcharge Imposed $175
Case Details – Charges
Case Information
Court:
Queens Criminal Court
Case #:
2006QN064460
Defendant:
Ellington, James B Charge Detail Disposition/Sentence
PL 240.30 1A A Misdemeanor, 1 count, Not an arrest charge, Arraignment charge
Description:
Aggravated Harassment-2nd Deg
PL 240.30 02 A Misdemeanor, 1 count, Not an arrest charge, Arraignment charge
Description:
Agg Har-2nd:telephone
PL 240.30 1B
**TOP CHARGE** A Misdemeanor, 1 count, Not an arrest charge, Arraignment charge
Description:
Ag Harass-2:caus Comm To Alarm
PL 215.55 00 A Misdemeanor, 1 count, Not an arrest charge, Not an arraignment charge
Description:
Bail Jumping 3rd Degree
Date Added:
09/29/2010 Pled Guilty, Imprisonment For 45 Days, Final Order Of Protection For 3 Years
PL 240.26 01 Violation, 1 count, Not an arrest charge, Arraignment charge
Description: Harassment 2nd- Phy Contact
Case Information
Court:
Queens Criminal Court
Case #:
2006QN064460
Defendant:
Ellington, James B Date/
Part Judge Calendar
Section Arraignment/
Hearing Type Court
Reporter Outcome/
Release Status
11/29/2010
CASHIER TO PAY SURCHARGE No Type
09/29/2010
JP1 Zaro, S JURY TRIAL No Type Wise, M
Pled Guilty & Sentence Imposed
RoR Continued
09/13/2010
JP1 Lopez, G PENDING No Type Nason,
Case Continued (adjourned)
RoR Continued
07/13/2010
JP1 Margulis, I PENDING No Type Apicella,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
RoR Continued
06/21/2010
JP1 Melendez, S PENDING No Type Carroll,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
RoR Continued
04/28/2010
AP1 Margulis, I PENDING No Type Apicella,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
RoR Continued
03/03/2010
AP1 Gerald, L PENDING No Type Nevins,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
RoR Continued
01/21/2010
AP1 O’donoghue, M PENDING No Type Driver,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
RoR Continued
12/14/2009
AP1 Margulis, I PENDING No Type Nason,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
RoR Continued
10/26/2009
AP1 Koenderman, E PENDING No Type Nevin,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
RoR Continued
09/08/2009
AP1 Koenderman, E PENDING No Type Stewart,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
RoR Continued
07/08/2009
AP1 Serita, T PENDING No Type Apicella,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
Released on Recognizance
06/11/2009
AP1 O’donoghue, M PENDING No Type Silberger,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
Bond $1 (Not Posted)
05/22/2009
AP1 Serita, T PENDING No Type Nason,
Case Continued (adjourned) – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
Bond $1 (Not Posted)
05/18/2009
AP1 Raciti, R PENDING No Type Nason,
Case Continued (adjourned), Returned On Warrant – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
Bond $1 (Not Posted)
07/24/2008
AP1 Margulis, I PENDING No Type O Connor,
Arrest Warrant Ordered – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
06/04/2008
AP1 Margulis, I PENDING Desk Appearance Ticket Driver,
Case Continued (adjourned), Returned On Warrant – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
Released on Recognizance
12/11/2006
AR2A Zigman, A PENDING Not Arraigned Cavanagh,
Arrest Warrant Ordered – Temporary Order Of Protection Issued
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Updates:
You don’t have to post your same update on different threads, one will do. They come up on the left so people can see them. If we have threads going, and a BUNCH of new or revived old threads comeup all at once it scrolls off the bottom the ones that people are “talking” on making it more difficult for people to find answers to their comments.
Believe me, I read your post updating about this man, and I expect most people will read it, so no need to post it in multiple places. Though I don’t know anyone personally that was involved with THIS man, I am glad that he is at least not getting 100% away with his crimes against humanity! What a creep!
Thanks for keeping this man’s name in the ugly news!
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Kaymer79 says:
James Brian Ellington is back to his old tricks and I am a victim to his lies!! I was unfortunate to meet this guy and believed the lies he told me about being a Yale Graduate, Mensa Member, Sortprice.com owner, and famed wrestling fanatic. He went by the name James Ciarlo. Claimed to live on 91st and 1st avenue with his roommate Vinny and their pug Sidney. He even sent me pictures of the dog next to the Christmas tree. I had a feeling something was off because no men in their mid 30s in NYC have a fully decorated Xmass tree with presents wrapped ahead of time.
I dated him for two months and was never able to pinpoint exactly what was going on with him but he was charming and fun to be around so I kept the glass half full. After he stood me up a few times and found many holes in his continuous lies, I ceased seeing him. I called him out on his lies and then he continued to contact me and make plans to prove me wrong. Of course he never came through with his plans because he was lying! In my never ending search for him online (someone of his claimed to be status should have something listed about him on the internet) I came across a new site that was published a few days ago:
http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com.....ailed.html
After reading this website, I was brought to another website about him:
http://www.lovefraud.com/03_tr.....fraud.html
After further research this man had 44 pages of arrest records in the state of North Carolina and had an entire website devoted to him and his actions in 2006. He has many aliases and has said to scam not only women but the gay community as well. He was arrested for assaulting a woman in 2009 and I believe he is a danger to our community.
I have contacted the Lovefraud.com website and the owner contacted me back that two other women have already contacted her since the cyberpath.com site has been live blowing his cover. She told me that she believes that James has been the one person on this site that she’s had the most emails about. Imagine that!!
I’ve contacted every news source possible about this guy. He needs to be exposed and taken down!
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mtbecknj says:
He is using the website:
datehookup.com username JNYC
646-599-1082
uncwrestler@gmail.com
In case he is using a different name….hopefully you can google search him by these elements and find out who he really is!
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Donna Andersen says:
Brian Ellington arrested again on June 11, 2011 on drug charges.
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Ox Drover says:
He is always going to be doing SOMETHING…hope he eventually does something bad enough that he gets some SERIOUS prison time and is kept off the streets. Hopefully no one gets hurt too badly before that happens.
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CFOX says:
Donna Andersen…if you would actually call the DA’s office you would find out that the Brian Ellington who you referred to in your writing was arrested on drug charges! THE TRUTH IS THAT THE GUY ARRESTED WAS A BLACK MAN AND NOT THE BRIAN ELLINGTON YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT. YOU LEAD A MISERABLE LIFE AND HATE MEN BECAUSE YOU YOURSELF ARE A PYSCHOPATH WHO ACTUALLY NEEDS THE HELP. ONE OF THESE DAYS THE LAW WILL CATCH UP TO YOU BECAUSE ALL YOU DO IS PUBLISH ARTICLES FROM WOMEN WHO HATE MEN THAT ARE NOT TRUE! BETTER CHECK WHAT YOU SAY FIRST BEFORE YOU GO AROUND FALSY ACCUSING SOMEONE OF SOMETHING THEY DID NOT DO
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one/joy_step_at_a_time says:
Donna – still getting that http 404 error.
sigh, so late to go out and water the garden.
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