Comments on: BOOK REVIEW: The Gift of Betrayal http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/ Wake up to the danger of sociopaths Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:17:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: hens http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93241 hens Tue, 09 Nov 2010 15:28:25 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93241 Dear Gem I am happy you got the book, i have recommended it for 3 years and your the first to actually get it. Skerrit has more books, they are quick reads packed with so much knowledge because he lived with evil. I ordered a book last nite , - Cruise Control - understanding sexual addiction in gay men..maybe it will help me understand why there are so many dysfunctional gay men including myself...those of us that were abandoned or not loved by our fathers seem to seek out love with men through sex...Not that it matters much for me anymore at my age but hey it's all about understanding what makes us tick and why they ticked the way they did...off to work.... Dear Gem I am happy you got the book, i have recommended it for 3 years and your the first to actually get it. Skerrit has more books, they are quick reads packed with so much knowledge because he lived with evil.
I ordered a book last nite , – Cruise Control – understanding sexual addiction in gay men..maybe it will help me understand why there are so many dysfunctional gay men including myself…those of us that were abandoned or not loved by our fathers seem to seek out love with men through sex…Not that it matters much for me anymore at my age but hey it’s all about understanding what makes us tick and why they ticked the way they did…off to work….

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]]> By: Ox Drover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93233 Ox Drover Tue, 09 Nov 2010 14:22:16 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93233 Dear Findingmyself, Well, if the "therapist" was calling LYING "protecting" himself by "protecting' you from finding out that is the worst psycho-babble therapy word salad I have ever heard. It is actually FUNNY to the point I may have to go change my clothes if I keep laughing and howling!!!! BWAHHHHHHHHH NWAHHHH What a crock of carp! Gem, sweetie, the "getting the bitterness out" just keeps you from lying there in the dark mentally sticking imaginary bamboo stickers under their fingernails while chortling in glee as they scream in pain, it doesn't mean that you want to invite them for dinner. It doesn't mean that what they did was OK, or that they are not vile creatures, the only thing forgiveness does is to calm your mind of angry vengeful thoughts that are destructive to peace and calm in your soul. It allows us to acknowledge that they are evil, but that we have risen above that evil, that we have let the hold that evil had on our soul expire, and that IN SPITE OF their evil, we will not allow it to destroy our lives. Last night I saw a short clip of Natalie's mother after the ending of the Van Der sloot interview, where she broke down and wept, and I think may have taken a turn for the better. She only got more lies from the piece of scum, and walked out of the interview....but she said after the cry, "I didn't think I would break down like this and cry, but he's taken my life, my daughter, my marriage, my job," etc etc and named off all the things she'd lost, but then she said something along the line of "but why should I give him the power over my life just because he killed my daughter?" Even though van der sloot refused to give her closure, I think she may have FOUND HER OWN closure!!! I hope and pray that she has or will. I think I can partly at least understand her need to find her daughters body, to have something to bury...for closure, but I doubt that she will get that, that is the trump card Joran holds for ATTENTION. If he gives that trump card up (assuming her body could be found anyway) he has NOTHING to keep the TV and reporters and other attention giving people from coming to see him. It is his life line to ATTENTION. Otherwise he is NOTHING but another petty crook in Peru. I hope Natalie Holloway's mother can find closure and peace and let go of her pain, and start to heal. She has certainly been dealing with a psychopath. My prayers are for her and her family. Dear Findingmyself,

Well, if the “therapist” was calling LYING “protecting” himself by “protecting’ you from finding out that is the worst psycho-babble therapy word salad I have ever heard. It is actually FUNNY to the point I may have to go change my clothes if I keep laughing and howling!!!! BWAHHHHHHHHH NWAHHHH What a crock of carp!

Gem, sweetie, the “getting the bitterness out” just keeps you from lying there in the dark mentally sticking imaginary bamboo stickers under their fingernails while chortling in glee as they scream in pain, it doesn’t mean that you want to invite them for dinner. It doesn’t mean that what they did was OK, or that they are not vile creatures, the only thing forgiveness does is to calm your mind of angry vengeful thoughts that are destructive to peace and calm in your soul.

It allows us to acknowledge that they are evil, but that we have risen above that evil, that we have let the hold that evil had on our soul expire, and that IN SPITE OF their evil, we will not allow it to destroy our lives.

Last night I saw a short clip of Natalie’s mother after the ending of the Van Der sloot interview, where she broke down and wept, and I think may have taken a turn for the better. She only got more lies from the piece of scum, and walked out of the interview….but she said after the cry, “I didn’t think I would break down like this and cry, but he’s taken my life, my daughter, my marriage, my job,” etc etc and named off all the things she’d lost, but then she said something along the line of “but why should I give him the power over my life just because he killed my daughter?”

Even though van der sloot refused to give her closure, I think she may have FOUND HER OWN closure!!! I hope and pray that she has or will.

I think I can partly at least understand her need to find her daughters body, to have something to bury…for closure, but I doubt that she will get that, that is the trump card Joran holds for ATTENTION. If he gives that trump card up (assuming her body could be found anyway) he has NOTHING to keep the TV and reporters and other attention giving people from coming to see him. It is his life line to ATTENTION. Otherwise he is NOTHING but another petty crook in Peru.

I hope Natalie Holloway’s mother can find closure and peace and let go of her pain, and start to heal. She has certainly been dealing with a psychopath. My prayers are for her and her family.

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]]> By: geminigirl http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93219 geminigirl Tue, 09 Nov 2010 06:40:55 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93219 Dear hens, The book you suggested I buy -"Meaning from Madness" by Richard Skerritt, arrived today, and I read it all in one hit. will read it at least 2 more times, to really "get' it. very interesting and informative as to the thought processes and defence mecahnisms of Narcs, Spaths, and borderlines,[or a mix of all 3]They say."To know all is to understand all, and to undestand all is to forgive all.' I hope this book will help me to understand my 2 spath daughters, and forgive them, but never have to see or trust them ever again.Its one thing to forgive them, but Ill NEVER trust them again for the cruelty and torment they put me through.I could identify with what he calls "splitting," by the spath,ie, splitting you off the face of the earth, as if you dont exist!Thisis what my spath D 2 did to me 17 plus years ago. Love, gemXX Dear hens, The book you suggested I buy -”Meaning from Madness” by Richard Skerritt, arrived today, and I read it all in one hit. will read it at least 2 more times, to really “get’ it. very interesting and informative as to the thought processes and defence mecahnisms of Narcs, Spaths, and borderlines,[or a mix of all 3]They say.”To know all is to understand all, and to undestand all is to forgive all.’
I hope this book will help me to understand my 2 spath daughters, and forgive them, but never have to see or trust them ever again.Its one thing to forgive them, but Ill NEVER trust them again for the cruelty and torment they put me through.I could identify with what he calls “splitting,” by the spath,ie, splitting you off the face of the earth, as if you dont exist!Thisis what my spath D 2 did to me 17 plus years ago.
Love, gemXX

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]]> By: hens http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93214 hens Tue, 09 Nov 2010 06:15:43 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93214 findingmyself - it's sad how these relationship's begin with a dream of happiness and end up such nitemare's, if nothing else is understood I know I was in a very toxic and unhealthy relationship and I had to get out, let go and save myself..there was no other choice..even with the occasional feelings of loss I know I did the right thing..this is a time for you to heal yourself and prepare yourself for healthy relationships to come --peace findingmyself – it’s sad how these relationship’s begin with a dream of happiness and end up such nitemare’s, if nothing else is understood I know I was in a very toxic and unhealthy relationship and I had to get out, let go and save myself..there was no other choice..even with the occasional feelings of loss I know I did the right thing..this is a time for you to heal yourself and prepare yourself for healthy relationships to come –peace

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]]> By: Findingmyself http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93208 Findingmyself Tue, 09 Nov 2010 05:05:43 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93208 Oxy, it was the "therapist" who said to him that they needed to discuss why he felt the need to "protect" me from the knowledge of the other women--those were HER words to him. And why he felt the need to "protect" himself from being honest with me. Well, MS Therapist, I can tell you right here, right now the "why"..because he is a liar, a womanizer, a manipulator and selfish to the core. He wanted to keep me thinking it was only "us" while he was out running around instead of manning up and being honest with me that he was seeing other people so I could at least have had the option to do the same if I chose to. What an idiot!...now I feel better :-) Oxy, it was the “therapist” who said to him that they needed to discuss why he felt the need to “protect” me from the knowledge of the other women–those were HER words to him. And why he felt the need to “protect” himself from being honest with me. Well, MS Therapist, I can tell you right here, right now the “why”..because he is a liar, a womanizer, a manipulator and selfish to the core. He wanted to keep me thinking it was only “us” while he was out running around instead of manning up and being honest with me that he was seeing other people so I could at least have had the option to do the same if I chose to. What an idiot!…now I feel better :-)

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]]> By: Ox Drover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93207 Ox Drover Tue, 09 Nov 2010 04:59:49 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93207 Dear findingmyself, ANGER is a legitimate response to injury and he was injuring you. BLINDSIDING you and bush whackiing you! WHAT A CREEP! I don't believe this was a "therapist," but actually it could have been, I have known some that stupid and the psychopaths are good at fooling even some smart ones. BUT the point is that it was NOT a legitimate thing for anyone to do, therapist or not! I like that "protecting" you! LOL what a word salad! They are so good at using P-speak instead of truth-speak! ROTFLMAO "protecting" not "betraying" Choke, snort, LOL Keep strong! (((hugs))) and g'nite! Dear findingmyself,

ANGER is a legitimate response to injury and he was injuring you. BLINDSIDING you and bush whackiing you! WHAT A CREEP!

I don’t believe this was a “therapist,” but actually it could have been, I have known some that stupid and the psychopaths are good at fooling even some smart ones. BUT the point is that it was NOT a legitimate thing for anyone to do, therapist or not!

I like that “protecting” you! LOL what a word salad! They are so good at using P-speak instead of truth-speak! ROTFLMAO “protecting” not “betraying” Choke, snort, LOL

Keep strong! (((hugs))) and g’nite!

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]]> By: Findingmyself http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93205 Findingmyself Tue, 09 Nov 2010 04:53:24 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93205 Oxy than YOU! Yes, he is the lie! He is trying to hook me back yet again. I am way past that at this point. But the fact that I felt such anger when I heard her say "protection" vs "betrayal"...MAN I saw RED, then I cried a river. hens, I hope your right! At that moment when that woman said those words, of course I saw that smug smile on his face in my mind and thinking "see, I was protecting you, not harming you"...oh MAN! If she is a real therapist, she needs to shut down! one_step, thanks for the laugh...I actually laughed out loud when I read that! I needed that, thank you! Oxy than YOU! Yes, he is the lie! He is trying to hook me back yet again. I am way past that at this point. But the fact that I felt such anger when I heard her say “protection” vs “betrayal”…MAN I saw RED, then I cried a river.

hens, I hope your right! At that moment when that woman said those words, of course I saw that smug smile on his face in my mind and thinking “see, I was protecting you, not harming you”…oh MAN! If she is a real therapist, she needs to shut down!

one_step, thanks for the laugh…I actually laughed out loud when I read that! I needed that, thank you!

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]]> By: one_step_at_a_time http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93198 one_step_at_a_time Tue, 09 Nov 2010 04:32:12 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93198 good call hens. god, i can't imagine getting a call from one of the spath's sock puppets telling me how good, wounded and open to change she is...bwahahaahahaaa.....click. good call hens. god, i can’t imagine getting a call from one of the spath’s sock puppets telling me how good, wounded and open to change she is…bwahahaahahaaa…..click.

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]]> By: hens http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93197 hens Tue, 09 Nov 2010 04:27:46 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93197 findingmyself - I dont know who this woman was but she was and is not his therapist...you need to chill..they are f--ing with your mind and enjoying every minute of it..i repeat No Contact is your only weapon and ultimate survival.. findingmyself – I dont know who this woman was but she was and is not his therapist…you need to chill..they are f–ing with your mind and enjoying every minute of it..i repeat No Contact is your only weapon and ultimate survival..

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]]> By: Ox Drover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/comment-page-3/#comment-93192 Ox Drover Tue, 09 Nov 2010 04:06:15 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/18/book-review-the-gift-of-betrayal/#comment-93192 Dear Findingmyself, First off I suggest that if you do get an e mail from him, DO NOT READ IT...delete it immediately. HE IS THE LIE....nothing he says is true. he is simply trying to hook you back in. NO CONTACT gives YOU control and he cannot stand it for you to have control. HE wants control. He is using words as BAIT, words he knows the sound of but not the meaning of. Just the fact that he keeps on contacting you, changing around to get around your blocks and so on, he is BREAKING DOWN YOUR BOUNDARIES and NO ONE who has good intentions ignores the legitimate boundaries set by someone else. THIS IS STALKING. Change your number. If the e mails continue report it as stalking to the police. They won't do anything but at this point you need it on RECORD that you do not want contact with this man. Stay strong and don't listen to his lies any more. This man is a control freak! Change your numbers, and if he calls you at work, report it to the switch board or your boss. You might also pay an attorney a few bucks to write a letter to him that says "cease and desist" with the contact. wouldn't cost much and might make him back off. Dear Findingmyself,

First off I suggest that if you do get an e mail from him, DO NOT READ IT…delete it immediately.

HE IS THE LIE….nothing he says is true. he is simply trying to hook you back in. NO CONTACT gives YOU control and he cannot stand it for you to have control. HE wants control.

He is using words as BAIT, words he knows the sound of but not the meaning of.

Just the fact that he keeps on contacting you, changing around to get around your blocks and so on, he is BREAKING DOWN YOUR BOUNDARIES and NO ONE who has good intentions ignores the legitimate boundaries set by someone else.

THIS IS STALKING.

Change your number. If the e mails continue report it as stalking to the police. They won’t do anything but at this point you need it on RECORD that you do not want contact with this man.

Stay strong and don’t listen to his lies any more. This man is a control freak! Change your numbers, and if he calls you at work, report it to the switch board or your boss. You might also pay an attorney a few bucks to write a letter to him that says “cease and desist” with the contact. wouldn’t cost much and might make him back off.

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