Comments on: After the sociopath: How do we heal? Part 8 – Waking up http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/ Wake up to the danger of sociopaths Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:53:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: skylar http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-10/#comment-56764 skylar Wed, 02 Dec 2009 23:55:37 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56764 Nassaugirl, great question! I've thought about it a lot. Just from the S's that I know, I'd have to say that it depends on whether each sociopath knows that he/she is a sociopath. In the case of my S sister and her S-husband, he knows what he is and she doesn't. He is enjoying indoctrinating her into the ways of sociopathy and she has gone from being a selfish, narcissist as a young woman to being a truely evil woman who EMBRACES her evil. She even told me, "Oh, Sky, EVERYONE is evil. I"m evil, you're evil, my husband is evil, your husband is evil. We're all evil - except MOM!" She is, in addition to being an S, a complete moron and her S-husband convinced her to get million dollar life insurance policy on herself before they were even married. Now she denies the policy exists and fumbles for words when confronted about it. So...can you guess who will outlive whom? Her S-husband is a trojan horse for my S-ex, sent to infiltrate my family in order to isolate me from them so he could finish me off when convenient. It didn't work, instead, we all ended up hating the trojan horse S. But, I can tell there is a loyalty between them that was built from their shared "secret". (they still think nobody knows). So those two S's are at a stalemate. Neither one can hurt the other at this point. I would love to throw a bomb somewhere in the middle which would cause them to attack each other. They are both ruthless and have much to lose when the sh*t hits the fan - they would probably try to kill each other. Ah.... I can dream about it.... Nassaugirl,
great question! I’ve thought about it a lot. Just from the S’s that I know, I’d have to say that it depends on whether each sociopath knows that he/she is a sociopath. In the case of my S sister and her S-husband, he knows what he is and she doesn’t. He is enjoying indoctrinating her into the ways of sociopathy and she has gone from being a selfish, narcissist as a young woman to being a truely evil woman who EMBRACES her evil. She even told me, “Oh, Sky, EVERYONE is evil. I”m evil, you’re evil, my husband is evil, your husband is evil. We’re all evil – except MOM!”

She is, in addition to being an S, a complete moron and her S-husband convinced her to get million dollar life insurance policy on herself before they were even married. Now she denies the policy exists and fumbles for words when confronted about it. So…can you guess who will outlive whom?

Her S-husband is a trojan horse for my S-ex, sent to infiltrate my family in order to isolate me from them so he could finish me off when convenient. It didn’t work, instead, we all ended up hating the trojan horse S. But, I can tell there is a loyalty between them that was built from their shared “secret”. (they still think nobody knows). So those two S’s are at a stalemate. Neither one can hurt the other at this point. I would love to throw a bomb somewhere in the middle which would cause them to attack each other. They are both ruthless and have much to lose when the sh*t hits the fan – they would probably try to kill each other.

Ah…. I can dream about it….

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]]> By: nassaugirl http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-10/#comment-56761 nassaugirl Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:41:11 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56761 Hi, I've been coming to the site off and on for solace. Its been a month now and I'm still trying to heal. I keep going over every detail of our first meeting and our 4 1/2 month relationship and now that I know that he is a sociopath, ALL the lies are being revealed!!! Gawd!! I can't believe I just sat there no knowing....I feel so violated!! I did got some therapy by focusing on writing my booklet which I have now put on the website www.liarcheater.com Although I'm hoping to get over my facination SOON, I am truly FASINATED that any human being who can display such an anti-social lifestyle without a conscience! As far as no conscience and not caring about anything is concerned. I distintly remember telling my ex once, that he DOES care about stuff, and that stuff DOES bother him but ONLY when it affects HIM!!!!! I have a question....what if two sociopaths were to be in a relationship? Would either of them be aware that they were being duped? Would they know that they are totally lying to and manipulating each other? And since they don't give a crap about anything, would it bother eiither of them if they found out that they were being lied to!? Sounds like a perfect pair to me!! Hi, I’ve been coming to the site off and on for solace. Its been a month now and I’m still trying to heal. I keep going over every detail of our first meeting and our 4 1/2 month relationship and now that I know that he is a sociopath, ALL the lies are being revealed!!! Gawd!! I can’t believe I just sat there no knowing….I feel so violated!!

I did got some therapy by focusing on writing my booklet which I have now put on the website http://www.liarcheater.com

Although I’m hoping to get over my facination SOON, I am truly FASINATED that any human being who can display such an anti-social lifestyle without a conscience!

As far as no conscience and not caring about anything is concerned. I distintly remember telling my ex once, that he DOES care about stuff, and that stuff DOES bother him but ONLY when it affects HIM!!!!!

I have a question….what if two sociopaths were to be in a relationship? Would either of them be aware that they were being duped? Would they know that they are totally lying to and manipulating each other? And since they don’t give a crap about anything, would it bother eiither of them if they found out that they were being lied to!? Sounds like a perfect pair to me!!

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]]> By: geminigirl http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-10/#comment-56759 geminigirl Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:05:16 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56759 Hi, FD. this confirms to me that he is invading yor psychic space even in your sleep. PLEASE ask the angels for protection tonight, and every night.I promise you it WILL work, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with ONE STEP! I cant make you ask for protection, even the Angels' hands are tied if you dont ASK for help! Sky has tried it, I have tried it, it works. DONT put up with this for one more night! Love, Gem.XX Hi, FD. this confirms to me that he is invading yor psychic space even in your sleep. PLEASE ask the angels for protection tonight, and every night.I promise you it WILL work, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with ONE STEP! I cant make you ask for protection, even the Angels’ hands are tied if you dont ASK for help! Sky has tried it, I have tried it, it works.
DONT put up with this for one more night!
Love, Gem.XX

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]]> By: skylar http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-10/#comment-56747 skylar Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:20:37 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56747 FD, I prayed to the Archangel Michael and can attest to the protection he offers. My escapes from the traps the xP had set up were miraculous, so I agree with Gem about that. As far as the bad dreams, accuncture might help you if you have it available. It's been almost 6 months and the dreams are calming down. FD,
I prayed to the Archangel Michael and can attest to the protection he offers. My escapes from the traps the xP had set up were miraculous, so I agree with Gem about that.

As far as the bad dreams, accuncture might help you if you have it available. It’s been almost 6 months and the dreams are calming down.

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]]> By: freshlyduped http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-10/#comment-56743 freshlyduped Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:52:06 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56743 Hi gem I will try the angel thing. Again he haunted me in my dreams last night. It was actually quite scary. He was staring at me with his cold, sociopathic, souless stare. I woke up very depressed. I can't control this. I can't get him out of my head. I'm at work now and I know he's here and I am thinking about him...this sucks. oxy: I feel good when I focus on myself. but i backtrack and then focus on him, esp if the dreams start my day like that. I pray that NC continues and I get to move on with my life. I would like to happy soon. :(! Hi gem
I will try the angel thing. Again he haunted me in my dreams last night. It was actually quite scary. He was staring at me with his cold, sociopathic, souless stare. I woke up very depressed. I can’t control this. I can’t get him out of my head. I’m at work now and I know he’s here and I am thinking about him…this sucks.

oxy: I feel good when I focus on myself. but i backtrack and then focus on him, esp if the dreams start my day like that. I pray that NC continues and I get to move on with my life. I would like to happy soon. :( !

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]]> By: OxDrover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-10/#comment-56727 OxDrover Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:53:44 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56727 Dear FD, GF, you are SO RIGHT!!! When we turn the focus on US we start to make progress by leaps and bounds. We did NOT deserve to be treated the way they treated and deceived us, BUT we had some holes in our armor that needed patching to keep us safe, so the P did us a favor by pointing these holes out, now--we're GONNA FILL THEM. Fill them with love and respect for ourselves first, and start to heal, both from the "orgional" wound and the latest one. The focus is on healing us---getting him OUT OF OUR HEAD, not leasing space to him--and then doing a complete reassessment of why we put up with his chit! WE ARE POWERFUL, we can be WHOLE, and ONE is a WHOLE NUMBER, we can be whole an dpowerful without needing someone else to fill in the holes. When we are WHOLE then we can share a life full of love with another WHOLE person, and the Ps, the selfish, toxic ones are NOT WHOLE, they may "look" whole, but they wear a mask to cover up the holes---they have no souls. We can give but we must never give until there is nothing left but our own soul to give. You are gonna do well GF! You have the idea, now getting the emotions to follow is kind of like trying to get a litter of litte kittens to follow you, or trying to herd them, but it takes time and they scatter sometimes, but we just have to keep on keeping on and in the end, you will get there---better, loving self, and much much stronger and wiser!!! (((hugs)))) and my prayers. Dear FD,

GF, you are SO RIGHT!!! When we turn the focus on US we start to make progress by leaps and bounds. We did NOT deserve to be treated the way they treated and deceived us, BUT we had some holes in our armor that needed patching to keep us safe, so the P did us a favor by pointing these holes out, now–we’re GONNA FILL THEM. Fill them with love and respect for ourselves first, and start to heal, both from the “orgional” wound and the latest one. The focus is on healing us—getting him OUT OF OUR HEAD, not leasing space to him–and then doing a complete reassessment of why we put up with his chit!

WE ARE POWERFUL, we can be WHOLE, and ONE is a WHOLE NUMBER, we can be whole an dpowerful without needing someone else to fill in the holes. When we are WHOLE then we can share a life full of love with another WHOLE person, and the Ps, the selfish, toxic ones are NOT WHOLE, they may “look” whole, but they wear a mask to cover up the holes—they have no souls. We can give but we must never give until there is nothing left but our own soul to give.

You are gonna do well GF! You have the idea, now getting the emotions to follow is kind of like trying to get a litter of litte kittens to follow you, or trying to herd them, but it takes time and they scatter sometimes, but we just have to keep on keeping on and in the end, you will get there—better, loving self, and much much stronger and wiser!!! (((hugs)))) and my prayers.

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]]> By: geminigirl http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-10/#comment-56716 geminigirl Wed, 02 Dec 2009 09:42:38 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56716 Dear freshly duped, here is a suggestion on what to do, re these bad, exhausting, traumatic dreams. This is what you do. When you are ready for bed,sit quietly, and ask,[out loud}, for the protection of your guardian angel. Then, ask for the protection of Raphael, the Angel of healing, and Michael, the warrior angel.These two powerful angels head up the hierarchy of sqadrons of LESSER ANGELS.Now, stand up, and with your arms, make a circle and ask that a protective shield of pure white light surround you all thru the night. Start at the top of your head, and ask for protection for your brain, then your speech centre, your heart chakra, your solar plexus chakra, and your lower sexual chakras.Visualise that white cleansing light surrounding you. No evil force can penetrate it. Its possible that the soul of your ex spath friend, is astral travelling and getting into your psychic space. if you do this cleansing and protective ritual every night, he wont be able to do this. The angels will protect you but they can only do so if you ASK them to do it.You will sleep peacefully, and wake refreshed. Believe me, it works!! Love, Light, and PEACE!! Gem.XX Dear freshly duped, here is a suggestion on what to do, re these bad, exhausting, traumatic dreams. This is what you do. When you are ready for bed,sit quietly, and ask,[out loud}, for the protection of your guardian angel. Then, ask for the protection of Raphael, the Angel of healing, and Michael, the warrior angel.These two powerful angels head up the hierarchy of sqadrons of LESSER ANGELS.Now, stand up, and with your arms, make a circle and ask that a protective shield of pure white light surround you all thru the night. Start at the top of your head, and ask for protection for your brain, then your speech centre, your heart chakra, your solar plexus chakra, and your lower sexual chakras.Visualise that white cleansing light surrounding you. No evil force can penetrate it.
Its possible that the soul of your ex spath friend, is astral travelling and getting into your psychic space. if you do this cleansing and protective ritual every night, he wont be able to do this. The angels will protect you but they can only do so if you ASK them to do it.You will sleep peacefully, and wake refreshed. Believe me, it works!! Love, Light, and PEACE!! Gem.XX

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]]> By: Twice Betrayed http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-10/#comment-56713 Twice Betrayed Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:46:40 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56713 Understand. Well, FD, the p's use our good points against us. They keep us spinning like tops trying to get things right...when they keep changing the rules. Keeps us off balance and scrambling to get things back on track. But, that's their goal... Understand.
Well, FD, the p’s use our good points against us. They keep us spinning like tops trying to get things right…when they keep changing the rules. Keeps us off balance and scrambling to get things back on track. But, that’s their goal…

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]]> By: freshlyduped http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-9/#comment-56712 freshlyduped Wed, 02 Dec 2009 06:40:38 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56712 TB and oxy Today I took Oxy's advice and decided to focus on ME instead of him. I wanted to know what was it about me that allowed Mr. S into my life and how I didn't listen to that voice in my head when I started to see the selfish behavior, inconsistencies, and eventual lies. I think a lot of these things have to do with my upbringing. Raised by a single father after my mother left us (still have not found her, it's been 30+ years), he was very much a controlling parent who gave me conditional love (gave it if I was good but took it away when displeased) and took a lot of his grief from his childhood and failed marriage out on me. Ten years later my dad remarried a woman I was forced to call "mom" and embrace her as if our family did not have a break in it. He wanted it to look perfect on the outside to everyone else. I did as I was told and never spoke my opinion. I was betrayed also since my father had told me that my biological mother had died vs. voluntarily leaving. He didn't want to explain it to me and to this day never has admitted that to me (I found out through a family member) Growing up, I was never allowed to show anger and that's where my inability to set boundaries began. I realize this is where my source of self doubt, lowered expectations and confidence, as well as the feeling of being unloved stems from. I understand where these insecurities as an adult come from and can now work to make things a little better. I need to practice showing my anger and thus developing my sense of self and esteem/confidence. What a revelation today to be able to logically understand what my childhood experiences have lead me to be as an adult. and the best feeling - this has nothing to do with him and I can work to make myself better for my life and my future without having to dwell about how I'm going to get over him in my head. He seems so trivial compared to revelation. Thanks TB for your advice. I am a very goal oriented person and will usually stop at nothing to solve things if it is not right. Especially when I have anxiety. I don't like waking up drenched in sweat and knowing that he haunted my dreams all night. I am just so eager when I come home to sit at the computer and read, read, read LF. I love all the articles and insight. I'm learning so much and feel like a sponge, soaking it all in. My own pace = overstudying unfortunately... TB and oxy

Today I took Oxy’s advice and decided to focus on ME instead of him. I wanted to know what was it about me that allowed Mr. S into my life and how I didn’t listen to that voice in my head when I started to see the selfish behavior, inconsistencies, and eventual lies. I think a lot of these things have to do with my upbringing. Raised by a single father after my mother left us (still have not found her, it’s been 30+ years), he was very much a controlling parent who gave me conditional love (gave it if I was good but took it away when displeased) and took a lot of his grief from his childhood and failed marriage out on me. Ten years later my dad remarried a woman I was forced to call “mom” and embrace her as if our family did not have a break in it. He wanted it to look perfect on the outside to everyone else. I did as I was told and never spoke my opinion. I was betrayed also since my father had told me that my biological mother had died vs. voluntarily leaving. He didn’t want to explain it to me and to this day never has admitted that to me (I found out through a family member) Growing up, I was never allowed to show anger and that’s where my inability to set boundaries began. I realize this is where my source of self doubt, lowered expectations and confidence, as well as the feeling of being unloved stems from. I understand where these insecurities as an adult come from and can now work to make things a little better. I need to practice showing my anger and thus developing my sense of self and esteem/confidence. What a revelation today to be able to logically understand what my childhood experiences have lead me to be as an adult.

and the best feeling – this has nothing to do with him and I can work to make myself better for my life and my future without having to dwell about how I’m going to get over him in my head. He seems so trivial compared to revelation.

Thanks TB for your advice. I am a very goal oriented person and will usually stop at nothing to solve things if it is not right. Especially when I have anxiety. I don’t like waking up drenched in sweat and knowing that he haunted my dreams all night. I am just so eager when I come home to sit at the computer and read, read, read LF. I love all the articles and insight. I’m learning so much and feel like a sponge, soaking it all in. My own pace = overstudying unfortunately…

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]]> By: OxDrover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/comment-page-9/#comment-56670 OxDrover Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:46:47 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/05/03/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-8-waking-up/#comment-56670 Freshly duped, TB has some GREAT advice for you! At your own pace, and the not "over styding" ia a good idea too. Just a little ach day, there's a lot to take in, and it IS about YOU, not him! (((hugs))) and God bless you! Freshly duped, TB has some GREAT advice for you! At your own pace, and the not “over styding” ia a good idea too. Just a little ach day, there’s a lot to take in, and it IS about YOU, not him! (((hugs))) and God bless you!

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