Entanglements with sociopaths always have consequences
PDF At a Christmas party on Saturday night, the conversation turned to hot water radiators. My husband, who is mechanically inclined, explained to a woman, who was trying to save money by conserving heat, how to bleed the air out of an old-style hot water heating system.
Eventually, the conversation revealed why the woman was trying to save money. She’d purchased an old farmhouse for her business. She secured a $150,000 construction loan to renovate the house and retained a contractor. The contractor insisted on installing the thermostat for the hot water heating system on a wall directly across from a wood burning stove. (For those of you who are not mechanically inclined, this is a really dumb idea.) The contractor also told the woman that she couldn’t insulate the farmhouse because moisture would create a mold problem. (This is true, but it is a problem that is readily solved, and insulating the house is a really good idea.)
Further conversation revealed that the contractor, who was president of some kind of historical building society, had not completed $70,000 worth of work for which he had been paid. The bank repeatedly came to inspect the job, bought the guy’s stories about why the work wasn’t done, and released the next installment of money. The farmhouse owner, of course, signed off on all the payments.
At one point a bank representative asked the farmhouse owner, “Are you sure about this guy?”
“Oh, he’s fine,” she replied. “He’s the president of the historical building society.”
The contractor hasn’t paid the subcontractors, and they’re demanding their money from the farmhouse owner. She hired a lawyer, who went along with a plan suggested by the contractor’s lawyer, which was useless. So now the woman is trying to save her home and her business. Plus, she’s cold.
“Sounds like you’re dealing with a sociopath,” I said.
I don’t know if this woman has any good options. We suggested that she sue the bank, because the bank released the money. But she approved payments, so that may not work. She can’t afford another lawyer. As has happened to many of us who have dealt with sociopaths, she may be stuck holding the bag.
Fort Dix Five
This woman may suffer terrible financial losses. But others involved with sociopaths lose much more.
A few weeks ago, in The con man, the thug and the jihadists, I wrote about the five young Muslim men who were on trial for plotting a terrorist attack against U.S. soldiers at Fort Dix, New Jersey. Most of the prosecution’s case was based on conversations secretly recorded by an informant, an illegal immigrant from Egypt, who was paid $240,000 by the FBI.
I predicted that the jury would see that the informant was a con man who manipulated the young men. I predicted that the defendants would walk. I was wrong.
The five young Muslims were convicted of conspiring to kill military personnel. They were acquitted of the more serious charge of attempted murder because they didn’t actually do anything. Still, they all face life in prison.
Yes, they did go to a shooting range in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania, shot at targets and shouted “Allahu Akbar,” or “God is great.” They videotaped themselves doing this and brought the tape to a Circuit City store to be converted to DVD. One of them also downloaded violent jihadist videos from the Internet.
But would they have actually have gone any further? Would they have even discussed plans, which were nothing more than vague, wild ideas, if they hadn’t been goaded on by the sociopath, who was being paid to keep them talking?
I know how convincing sociopaths can be, so I don’t think they would have done anything without his encouragement. But I wasn’t on the jury, and the people who were apparently don’t understand sociopaths. So the young Muslims were left holding the bag. They may spend the rest of their lives in prison.
For his efforts, the con man informant, who was twice convicted of bank fraud, was promised legal residency in the United States, courtesy of our Justice Department.
Education is key
The consequences of entanglements with sociopaths are always negative, ranging in scale from unpleasant to deadly.
That’s why Lovefraud’s mission is to educate people about sociopaths. Right now, most people find Lovefraud because they’re already entangled with a sociopath and facing the consequences. We’ll soon announce a new initiative to help people cope with what has happened to them.
But eventually we hope to have programs to educate people about this personality disorder and the red flags of sociopathic behavior. Our goal is to help people escape the terrible consequences by avoiding the predators in the first place.
written by Donna Andersen • Permalink •
hens says:
no apology was needed – some of them are still lurking about – some scorned gals come here claiming their x husbands are sociopaths or narcissit when in reality they just be a bitch, I mean it was so evident in what they said – i only keep up with a handful of posters here anymore onestep – i am so past the pain and out of the fog sometimes I just dont relate anymore – and to be honest it is not good for me to get involved emotionally with victims when they are so obviouly at the worst time of their lives, it keeps me from moving on,, how ever i still need occasional reinforcement of what I believe to be true about people in my life that have effected me so negatively – and sometime just encouraging others that they will get through this is enuff to keep me coming back – and I also have no social life so here i be..
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ErinBrock says:
There ya go…..
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ErinBrock says:
LF has been a pillar for me!!! In so many ways!!!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
i am trying to get a better sense of the ‘culture’ of lf. there is layers and layers to it.
i vacillate about how much i want to be here…it could suck my energy right out. and i do get caught sometimes.
i really like to come and just play sometimes. that’s easiest at night. i realyl miss the night time with the spath…we laughed and joked a lot and would talk for a couple of hours at night. so coming here and playing feels really good. i am not alone and i have peeps to play with.
that said it’s almost 3 am here…g night hens and Eb xox
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ErinBrock says:
good night to you One….
I know you’ll do whatever you need to and must to get this done….
Like my gf’s say to me….with every new spath story….
GETERDONE!
Nighty night….
XXOO
EB
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geminigirl says:
Erin Brock. I was getting the wierdest vibes about a recent poster who had recently changed her user name.Seemed to me to be drinking and or pill popping a lot. Oxy had a stern but loving word with her. I was also getting very irritated that her posts were almost incoherent, made little or no sense. Looking back, I think I was more pissed off with this than with the F words. her comments didnt add up. Do you think she is a spath, or just very mixed up? The wierd vibes and uncomfy feelings seem to have gone.Thank goodness! we had a lot of fun tonight, and it felt GOOD! Love, mamaGemXXPs I hope Im wrong about this person.
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sherry winter says:
OX,
The plan is to go back and say nothing. However, good plan or not, it most likely will fail at one point or another. The very mention of his name, throws me into a panic attack. Any thought of him, makes me start weaving back and forth, rocking myself for comfort.
I am highly defensive about the whole issue, because what he claims was just a “mistaken imagined” relationship on my part, broke up a very happy marriage, and emotionally scared me for life. I am still traumatized by the memories, and all the things I lost in my life, and in my phyci. I still have nightmares every day, and I still start crying from the flash backs with no apparent reason. I am remarried, but that does not decrease the value of what I lost by his “game.”
He is the head of all the lead workers, and I will be under him somewhere, no matter how much they try to put up mirrors and smoke to cover it. If someone says to me, “Jeff requires this, or wants that,” or if they say, “My lead worker told me to….” I am most likely to explode in offense to any reference to HIM that “sociopath/pathological liar/ mother f-er/ son of satin” having any authority over ME in any way under the sun. I’m liable to jump down any one’s throat who dares to tell me what HE wants or requires, weather he’s THEIR lead worker or not.
I am also likely to walk past him sitting and flirting with some young or nieve thing, and make a side comment about “does he other girlfriends know about you?” or “you know he gave his ex hpv that he caught from the mistress he picked up the month after he got married don’t you?”
If I can keep my cool, I will be able to keep my job. However, if I make references to sociopaths, STD, or the fact that he is on interview panels picking out his next victims… I will probably get fired. Seems like a clear black and white choice, except that the emotional trauma he has caused, makes me feel like I’m still in the middle of the worse years in my life, and I can feel myself sitting in the chair as he hung up on me to go screw his/ “only a friend” mistress, as I contemplated where I wanted to kill myself.
It’s hard to act logically when you are in a split second thrown back to the moment you almost took your own life over someone who couldn’t give a damn if you had lived or died.
Logic is not the issue. Emotional trauma, and the instability it causes is the issue.
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kim frederick says:
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Sherry.
Maybe you should cut your losses and, “Get the hell outta Dodge.” I know that’s easier said than done, and that you’ll probably be giving up a lot that you’ve worked for, but in the long run, the quality of your life may be so much better. Is it worth all the bad energy it’s causing in you?
I read in a self-help book once that if you’ve got a decision to make, to close your eyes, breath evenly, and relax…then, concentrate on both alternitives one at a time…be very conscience of your physical sensations and notice which choice makes you feel,”lighter.” Which choice makes you feel, “heavier.” Pick the light choice.
I hope you have that option.
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sherry winter says:
My home, and my career are the only things left from the old life the ex-s took from me. If I quit I would lose those too.
Also, my new husband is retiring in a few months, given that I can stay employed to pay for the health insurance. I didn’t mind keeping working even though he’s younger, because I have no retirement after the sociopath ruined my life any way, so I’d been planning on working until I dropped before I met my new husband. If I quit, it would be like saying, “keep working cause I don’t want to!”
I may not last long any way, and I know the trauma will be horrible, but I have to try. My thought is also, if I’m going down and going to lose every thing any way, I’m going down KICKING AND SCREAMING, and hopefully the sociopath and any who would ally themselves with him, will come out a little worse for the trauma. Life’s short, mess with someone else’ … is what one of my old friends email message says. If I’m going to be traumatized, and they wont even let me slink off with my tail between my legs, they can have a few war scars too.
I’d rather not fight… I’d rather not argue. But I’m sure as heck, not going to lie like they are, and say the emperor is dressed in fine clothes.
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conomo says:
Dear All,
First of all, please be assured that I am not on anything (at the moment at least). I hope this post will reflect that.
As admitted, I do like my red wine and the occasional parsley cigarette to tell the str8 up truth. Nothing else for this gal. I don’t even take anti biotics. My doc will say “this is what we typically do, but what are you going to do?”about any health issue that may arise.
Once again I will apologize for any confusion or hurt I’ve caused to any posters here.
Oxy: You Do know everything!! lol And I so appreciate your candor when calling me to the mat about my 2 times that I have been binging to numb the pain while posting. The last 6 weeks have been incredibly difficult for me. The guns situation last week just about did me in.
I am grateful for all the posters that took a moment to encourage me or even understand when I wasn’t “coherent”.
I am feeling quite saddened and angry by some of the posts that I have read from the previous evening.
I am no troll. I have been reading in the background since last October as I stated when I first arrived to this site. I decided this was a safe place that I could let it all out and be understood(excepting the wine escapades). And for the most part that was true.
Oxy you said something today I think, about feeling bad about posters being posted around and therefore do the best you can to welcome everyone. I believe you do and that is highly commendable. I have even tried to bring a poster’s cry to the attention of others when I’ve felt I would not be adequate at replying.
I don’t want to get into a peein match with anyone, but I also saw Aeyala’s post today wondering if she was being judged when in fact it was obviously Conomo being judged. my heart went out to her knowing that I felt the same way when “mike” was posting not long after I arrived. Perhaps I was lumped into that as well.
I would also like to say MamaGem that I saw the F word sprayed around a fair bit before I decided to post, which was a bit of a comforting point for me to feel I could spill my guts here. Frankly I don’t find the f word any more offensive than s*t or b*tch.
We come here initially because it looks like a safe, friendly, supportive and FUN environment. But yes, we are HURTING AND RAW AND HYPER SENSITIVE looking for understanding and acceptance.
If y’all want to speak double speak and post around those beneath you then perhaps you could share your parties on IM.
I think this might benefit many newbies not just myself. And then perhaps it would also be easier to identify the true trolls.
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OxDrover says:
Dear Conomo,
Thank you for being up front in the above post. It is difficult for me to answer you on this thread at length as my computer hook up is so slow on these threads with many comments, it takes a “minute” for each word typed to come through, so I will move to anyother shorter thread.
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witsend says:
conomo,
I am sorry that you were misunderstood. There is always that risk of hurting someones feelings, and I am sorry if yours were hurt. Personally I think Oxy did handle it best by just asking openly about the self medicating. And you were honest with your answer.
I wish I had been able to be this direct about this and ask you the time that you and I were on late at night, but for me this is one of my personal triggers. And I backed off.
I made a choice after my husband died. No more alcohol/drug abusers in my life period. I was surrounded by them during many periods of my life. I have stuck to this for 13 years however now that I have been away from this for so long I just am unable to deal with it at all. This is MY problem and not yours. And I am hyper sensitive about this. Again not your problem….All mine.
I hope that you will continue to come back and feel welcome here. This is a place of healing and support and understanding. Generally late at night there is more fun posting on one thread, but anytime someone has a problem on another thread, usually someone will jump over and lend support.
It will be helpful if we can follow and understand your post, so being “coherent” is helpful, but its your choice…And when I say this I ain’t judging, I’m just saying….
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kim frederick says:
Hi Conomo.
I’ve never said a word about your drinking, mostly because I enjoy a glass or two of red wine, myself. Early on, however, I was noticing that if I posted after drinking just a little too much, I was waking up, making apologies. Alcohol loosens my mouth and I can become quite out-spoken and sometimes abrasive…so when I feel myself getting to that point, I log-off. I don’t personally have a problem with the F-bomb, but some folks do, so out of respect, I try to limit it’s use.
When you first came here, I enjyed your posts to me, and liked being able to encourage you,with your music.
There were a couple of times I got confused and didn’t know what to think…that kind of thing has happened in the past, for me , and I ended up hurting someones feeling, even though I didn’t mean too. So, after the second time I was confused, and you never cleared it up for me, I decided I would keep my distance.
If I hurt your feelings, I’m sorry. Please don’t let it stop you from coming here to heal.
I’m glad you addressed the issue…
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ErinBrock says:
Conomo:
I will post a response on another thread…..Im having the same slow problem as others….
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conomo says:
Witsend and Kim,
I am so very touched with your immediate replies and apologies.. .tears in fact.
I did not only post for my own concern but some of the underlying comments that others could have been self guessing themselves about.
And I am aware of my issues and sorry for getting so s*tfaced and posting when I was so hurt angry confused…not by you folks but the xS b/f and all the other hurts that have come rolling to the surface since the encounter with him.
I hope that I do not slip in this regard again.
Having said that, I’m not so sure that being obsessed with this sit e is helping me as I thought it would. I sure makes the wounds more intense sometimes and gives me a headache! I rarely get headaches—even hangover headaches.
Thank you again. Call me to the mat but please don’t think my situation is a contrived story.
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robxsykobabe says:
Still no ephiphanies but I did talk to a good friend who helped me sort out a bit of the pain. Here’s what she said…
“Hes not happy. He may think he is for a second, but he could be making it look like he is happy. You saw his true colors–princess doesnt like princess. He probably loved that you saw that picture-to punish you for not putting up with his crap and dumping him. The only way he would treat her better is to set her up to use her. Who needs that? If it looks better, it is an illusion. His life is, Im sure, still messed up-I dont think he recently had an awakening. It is sad that he let a prize like you slip away. He cant help it, cause he knows your out of his league.”
I STILL dont understand one his last texts that said this (why Im having a block over this is making me CRAZY)…”we just need and want different things from a partner. You boundaries blocked out alot of what I needed the most.”
You see what happens when I re-read this is I begin to feel like I didnt do that SOMETHING to make things right. I gave what I could, in a healthy relationship, and struggle with understandign from his perspective what I he didnt get from me and NOW, is he getting whatever he ‘needed and wanted’ from HER?
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robxsykobabe says:
One more thing…Ive come up with a few rationalizations for why he posted the picture of he and the mystery girl…although they look like a couple to me…
1. To provoke me-as he may love nothing more than to have me squirm over knowing hes with someone else (he used to tell me he ‘wished’ I would get jealous).
2. To punish me-as he may have posted the picture to throw it in my face that he’s with someone now in sort of a passive way.
3. To tell me he doesn’t care about me-I may be the last thing on his mind.
4. To make me feel bad-sorta a way to say “f’ you to me.
OR…maybe Im being paranoid…and a little self absorbed thinking he has me in any of his thought…Maybe Im the LAST thing on his mind, although knowing him (or so I think), he wouldnt post a picture of he and anyone…it would ruin his ‘chances’ of finding someone else–UNLESS he’s with her…and he calls her his girlfriend. (Her profile has only her picture up…none with him).
I dont know…what do you guys think
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learning says:
Robx-
“We just need different things from a partner” ….
He wants no strings attached, run around, free-bird (pun intended), nothing serious, no questions, do as he pleases…
Perhaps you wouldve liked a more mature serious partner who can handle a commitment and honesty, sensitivity, respectful reciprocal partnership.
Your boundaries….No messing around with others… no crossing the line.. no bending on certain things you felt uncomfortable with to continue…his lies, his vagueness his cheating his lack of making you a priority and the only one…. those are things things he needs to be able to do…if you value yourself, respect yourself and cant shut up and put out then the relationship isnt going to be “Compatible” for him…
You did RIGHT …you just didnt do what he wanted you to do — be at his beck and call and dont expect anything more than that from him. If you ask questions and want to talk…he will walk. ON ANYONE. NOT JUST YOU.
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conomo says:
RBabe….this is my last post tonight…I don’t know your story, but think that your # 1 to 4 + maybe sounds right on if you are healing from a sociopath…it’s hard to label it because then you have to go through the next process of WHY??? I think the best bottom line is: he has hurt you to the point of being obsessed by being hurt…posting pictures to you about his current happiness is absurd–In my current opion—do you think there were times of absurdity in your relationship?? I know I had them….and it only escalated to dangerous….as people said to me…only you will know with retrospect and introspect….it’s #### hard to move forward in most partings…most of all parting with a deranged individual….As I said I don’t have the bestor any answers…just saying If you are obsessing…that is a good sign that it is time to take the bull(scrotum)by the horns and lay it down girl…there are lots of threads here that give ideas on how to do that….sometimes just reading current posts help …. I don’t know what books you’ve read…but read the suggested ones….and do what you feel is right for you…I wish you the intuit and fortitude you need to move forward RBabe…
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robxsykobabe says:
learning:
It is true, and knowing what little I know about his past ‘relationships’, what he ‘wanted and needed’ was a benefriend who could supply him with all he wanted (house, car, money, etc). You are right…I put up boundaries (or he called them walls) around things he COULDNT have…like my soul, and without that, he wasnt able to GET everything he wanted and needed because I wasnt so enamored by him that I would sell myself for him. Is that REALLY what he wanted and needed in a partner? Who does that?
Thnak you, learning
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learning says:
Robx-
I will answer that… but first What did YOU want and need in a partner? What do YOU deserve? Why did you decide not to go back? What message did you send him when you said NO MORE???
There are people who dont put much value into themselves let alone others…they see people as “things they can get stuff from, exist off of, feel good from”…they try to simulate being a friend and a partner…but they are unable to continue the fraud over a long period of time…
But in the beginning they behave a certain way.. or we believe them to be a certain way and we give 100 percent to them and while we think they are doing the same in return their actions show different and the percentages are WAY OFF between eachother.
If you want him girl = you can have him. Along with that will come infidelities , lies, bad treatment – but he will take you back – he has no reall connection to anyone – he doesnt know how to love and respect himself so he cant give that to another. He just exists off of people who arent in the know, havent been exposed to his type – and who will be in for a rude awakening in due time.
Speaking of time — its precious and valuable — dont go backward to FB…set boundaries for yourself of what you realistically can do and cant do. You can choose to never go back to FB…but maybe you cant stop ruminating about things right now…thats ok…decide what you can push yourself to commit to and what you have to work on…focus on you — why didnt the relationship work for you???
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robxsykobabe says:
learning…
you are right also! what did I want and need from a partner? i want and need someone who tells the TRUTH, who i can trust with my whole self…and he was that for some time. i deserve to be treated with dignity and respect…i am a wonderful wonderful truth-telling person! i decided not to go back because i had ENOUGH of the lies and crazy making. the message i sent him, so i think, was that i was on to him and i wasnt playing anymore.
he behaved VERY well in the beginning…VERY well. he had my family all on his side and gained their trust. in the midst of that, he was staying at my house on the weekends, and i made him look very ‘normal’ and ‘good’ when in fact , he is very bad…VERY bad.
this other person, i would assume, has no clue about his shit…i believe i only got some of the information i got because he was on parole at the time we met and it would have been difficult for him to go around that. the part about no connection rings true…he often told me he could leave a woman in an instant if she did something he didnt like and never look back…
interesting concept to think about in my situation. after my parents told him he was never welcome back to their home, he tried turning me against them. it didnt work,although it was like the obviousness of him using me was so clear then. i dont know if HE didnt try to hide it as well or if I was coming out of the fog and he could see it…
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learning says:
Robx -
Interesting stuff! Huh! Keep coming out of the fog…its so easy to get caught up in the illusion of what they presented and represented.
Mine was a great listener…i could talk the night away…and I felt that he must really care, etc. and I became so trusting of him and believed he had my best interest in mind too. Nope- he just wanted the things he did…from me, and from her and from his boss and from his friend (all different things from everyone – never really connecting, giving, being genuine.
He is a bad guy. Dont look back. Be so glad it isnt you in that picture. She is getting caught up with an unhealthy guy. She in fact may be unhealthy or uneducated about bad men or have little to no expectations of respect and truth… or she may be on the same path you were – believing in what she wants to believe is true – rather than taking things he says/does at face value.
Look at the reality of what your relationship was like with him. Look long and hard at what HE offered for you, what HIS choices were with you (and others) the way HE treated you and twisted you to believe his way is really ok…acceptable….etc… (it is — but only to low selfesteemed, neeedy girls who just want to please and be a doormat – or who know nothing more than equating sex and random attention to being wanted and loved. Its just not true – a real decent relationship is so much more than what these creeps offer to women/men.
Id rather be with myself than be that girl in the picture with him. Hes a monster and shady and she will know it soon enough. They all do..
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robxsykobabe says:
leaning..
you struck a chord with me, again, on something i cant see to wrap my head around…this idea of being ‘wanted’. it seemed to be a theme with him. he wanted to be ‘wanted’ and ‘desierd’ and ‘loved too much and held too tight’. i never understood what he meant by wanting to be ‘wanted’ because i did want him–with me, by me, at my house, etc. it always felt like his idea of being ‘wanted’ was differnet…
what does it mean to feel ‘wanted’…sometimes i feel so dense.
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learning says:
Robx-
My eyes are fading… I hope you are feeling a little better tonight.
You are going through everything that one goes through when trying to deal with the reality of these toxic relationships.
Its about him – in who he is, his choices, his lack of awareness, etc.
But its also about us being able to deal with and accept the truth of the matter. The truth is he wasnt a good person for you in your life. No matter what he does going forward – he wasnt good to you or to himself for that matter. Focus on what you want – what you deserve – and what you need for yourself. And even try to answer why you do go to FB..Weve all had to find our answers and dig deeper into ourselves to find out what it is we want out of it. Because if you are wanting him back – you can actually talk to yourself about what it would be like (the reality) not the pretender – but get real about what you went through and experienced with him —
What he is doing now is now different from before. They dont change.
But we can change our ways, our thoughts our direction — decide what you are going to try to commit to not doing — one day at a time. Bet you can do it Robx – really think you can no longer look back at FB anymore. It offers nothing for you in your life – except being stuck on what ifs and whys and lots of toxicity comes rushing back…
Heres to tomorrow and the first day you let go of something about a bad man! Goodnight! Sleep well! You are free from his BS!!!!!
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robxsykobabe says:
learning….
youre a wonderful person-thank you
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learning says:
Robx -
Maybe he wanted to be wanted ( for all the right reasons) but he knew you were wanting the pretender in him -because he is unable to really give all the things women truly want and deserve in a man.
You see his choices are what holds him back in life. He is his own worst enemy. HE wants things that he can only achieve by trusting himself and giving to women all the mature responsible trustworthy decent things in life.
But his choices dont equate to giving that or being able to consistently receive that.
When someone yearns to be wanted so badly – it usually means they have low selfesteem and lots of weak internal self views – so even when someone is showing them they are wanted – they still dont feel wanted or feel deserving of being wanted.
I may not be making sense…but trying to say he probably has his own issues he needs to work on but instead he jumps from woman to woman, bed to bed, face to place…so he doesnt have to face his reality either.
I think…. not sure tho
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learning says:
Robx -
thank you..
You are pretty cool yourself over there too! You are going through the thick of it — dont ever hesitate to share or ask LF for advice, thoughts.
Ultimately you are the one who will make all the right choices for yourself and do whatever you need to do to get through it. Ive done and wondered and thought over and over again all the things that you are.
ITS A PROCESS.. but dont forget to learn and retain some of the lessons, so you keep going forward as much as possible. WE all fall sometimes but it just makes getting up and going forward even more educational and growth inducing! Learn and grow…. WE CAN AND DO….THEY CANT AND DONT WANT TO.
You deserve better. You did RIGHT by saying no more. In his eyes only that was WRONG of you because you finally stood up for and protected yourself – that made him say well your boundaries blocked alot of things out that I needed most …. being able to use you at his leisure and take from you the things he wanted. Towanda to you for finally saying this guy is NOT FOR ME!!!! Hes unhealthy and toxic in his life views and ways!
Stay on track… you are doing just fine Robx!
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silvermoon says:
R-
Blow up the text Roxy. It is a well rehearsed script and that is all.
He got as much as he could from you and then he moved on.
Maybe he is geting something more from this next girl maybe not, but we know what is going to happen to her.
Maybe you will still be here when she shows up.
Nothing they say is true, nothing they do is real and all they are about is getting for themselves.
I’d loook at the situation differently, would changing relationships give him an excuse to tell the parole officer why he didn’t have a job?
Think about what did he need to use you girls for ? If you work from the assumption that he felt anything, its going to break your heart worse and longer.
I hate hearing that because you’re better than that.
Does the parole officer know his new address? If he isn’t making his reports, they can revoke his parole.
By my understanding, parole laws have been changing and the revolving door doesn’t spin as fast or easy as it used to.
Mine got most of a year on a parole revocation. No, I didn’t know his true story until the marshals came in and dragged him out of my house.
Later. I discovered that he’d been in contact with lots of women, dated three, initited with dozens and posted that he wanted to find a marriage partner on our one month anniversary.
Those are the facts. What he says is not. Discard anything he said that causes you unease unless it would be of interest to his parole officer and enjoy the day.
Carpe Diem!
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