Sociopathic children and psychopathic traits during childhood
PDF This is a very tragic story left by one of our readers:
My daughter was misdiagnosed with ADHD. Then bipolar disorder, then Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I stormed out of her psychologist office when she told me that she saw something “dark” in my child. That was when she was 7. When she was 8, her sociopathy increased and she purposely drowned my poodle. She also tried to smother my baby by my second husband. The strain of her and my carrying the baggage from my last relationship has driven he and I apart and we currently trying to file for divorce.
She steals daily, has even stolen as much as $500 from my wallet. I lock things away, and she will simply pry open the lock, break the lock or disable locked windows so she can climb in for access to everything. My son sleeps with his father at night at his own home, while I sit here at night, catching her lurking through the dark, stealing whatever she can get her hands on (i.e., money, jewelry, food, perfume). If I try to discipline her, she simply runs off and screams to the top of her lungs “don’t kill me”, which causes the neighbors to call the police. Just this morning, I discovered money missing and brand new snacks I bought last night for the baby and all of us to share GONE. Every single day she steals. I have to sleep at night and when I do, she lurks in the dark, prying open things, destroying things.
It’s like if she is alone for a moment, she does something way over the edge. Like this morning, I caught her chopping blooms from cacti I planted with a mini shovel, I mean she looked like the LAST SAMARI. I am being victimized everyday and feel like she is the hunter in my home and I am the hunted. I have arranged for an IEP at her school and it is my goal to get her placed in a facility in Utah where they house and treat child psychopaths or excuse me, Oppositional Defiant children because liberal America will not allow her to be called what she truly is until she turns 18.
The issue of likely outcome is more difficult in child psychiatry than it is in any other aspect of medicine. Think for a moment, if a child has cancer and we know that 65% of children with this cancer die, what does that tell us about our particular child? I chose the number 65% because that is the percentage of conduct disordered teens that went on to develop antisocial personality as adults in one study.
When we consider studies of conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder and symptoms of psychopathy in children we have to consider that most of these studies are done on a special population of children that are being treated at University based clinics. So the information about prognoses we get is likely pessimistic. Sill not even these studies show that 100% of children with these symptoms have them into mid adulthood.
I would like to tell you about three children, I watched grow up. These children show us that we have to be careful about trying to predict adult personality function on the basis of what we see in a child.
The first child is a neighbor of mine. When she was 7 she was so fearful and shy that she refused to go on play dates. I spoke to her mother about this and her mother indicated that symptoms of anxiety tended to run in their families. Well, I saw that girl again at 14 and I can tell you she is “popular” and not at all shy. I asked her mother about what happened. Her reply was, “Yeh, she grew out of it.”
The second child is a boy who was a sibling of one of my daughter’s friends. At 7 he was a mess, very impulsive and easily angered. So much so he got into trouble in religious school. At 13 this boy is controlled and polite, a fine young man.
The last child is a boy I grew up with. I was always an animal lover. This boy’s behavior disgusted me because at 7 he captured lizards, stuck sticks through their mouths and killed them. He then put his kills in the street for cars to run them over. I hated that kid! Well, he did not grow up to be a psychopath. He is a loving husband, responsible father and business owner.
Video of 7 year-old Latarian
After introducing this background, I would like you to watch the video of Latarian Milton, a 7 year old who stole his mother’s car. (This video was recommended in one of our reader’s comments and I appreciate that.)
Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itgcNy3L_Xc This boy demonstrates for us what psychopathic personality traits look like in children. He shows no remorse and says he enjoys doing bad things. He doesn’t care about the consequences of his actions because for him the fact that he gets enjoyment justifies everything. The comments left on Youtube reveal that many people have one of two incorrect views of psychopathy in children. The first is that it can be cured by beating the child. The second is that it invariably leads to a disordered adult.
If there was only a 10 percent chance that a child’s cancer could be cured, most people would still advocate that the child get aggressive cancer treatment. The odds for disordered kids are at least that and yet many people say they should be written off and secretly believe they should either be euthanized or imprisoned for life.
What should be done to help psychopathic children?
Psychopathic children do have the same issues as psychopathic adults. Namely, their pleasure system is warped and their impulse control system is defective. The difference is that these two systems are more changeable in a child than they are in an adult.
Psychopathic children enjoy “being bad” (to quote Latarian in the video above) more than they enjoy anything else. What they need is to be taught how to enjoy loving human connections. If they can learn to enjoy loving, then they have a chance at developing a modicum of empathy and conscience. This is where our pessimistic view of psychopathic children can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Studies show that the parents of such children often dislike them. The people who advocate writing off these kids do not help these parents. Parenting an at-risk child is the most difficult task many will ever have to face.
We have to support the parents of psychopathic children and encourage them to try to find something in the child they do like and can connect with. Psychopathic children require constant adult supervision and affectionate adult companionship.
Psychopathic children also need to be taught about the nature of impulses and morality. They need verbal lessons as well as real life lessons in the form of consequences. Studies show that when parents of psychopathic children dislike them, they often pull back and do not provide the consistent teaching of impulse control these kids need.
There is also another side to the prognosis coin. That is that many children who appear to be “normal” grow up to be psychopathic. I know this from two sources, scientific studies and people who write me. Dr. Hare has said the antisocial behavior that leads to sociopathy/psychopathy begins during childhood and adolescence. I agree with him, but the problem is that this antisocial behavior can take many forms. For example, lying, stealing and being aggressive toward a sibling are all behaviors that many sociopaths showed during childhood. Many children engage in these behaviors and so again we may consider them “normal.”
How can we prevent sociopathy in adults?
Behavioral science has revealed a great deal about what we can do to give all children the best chance. I was at a conference this week and one of the speakers noted that the State of California bases its estimate on the future need for prison space on the reading scores of children in 3rd grade! In addition to effective parenting, at-risk children need to have quality education. Right now our practice is to take troubled children and group them together for school. Not only do they all then get a substandard education, but they get to teach each other more antisocial behavior!
As a society, we are far from doing our best for psychopathic kids. Some children will develop disordered in spite of the best parenting and professional help. YOU WILL NOT KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS IN THAT GROUP UNTIL YOU HAVE GIVEN HIM THE BEST PARENTING AND PROFESSIONAL HELP AVAILABLE. Medication may be necessary for some children. If you have done your best as parent and your child still has problems, forgive yourself. Rest assured that his problems would be much worse if you had not done your best.
I want to end with what I believe are the 10 attributes of effective parents:
Summary of Effective Parenting
- Effective parents are warm and empathetic.
- Effective parents reward good behavior.
- Effective parents establish clear rules and enforce them through limit setting.
- Effective parents model good behavior.
- Effective parents teach impulse control, respect and values.
- Effective parents surround their children with positive influences.
- Effective parents protect their children from entering into situations they won’t be able to handle.
- Effective parents teach age appropriate life skills.
- Effective parents have fun with their children.
written by Liane Leedom, M.D. • Permalink •
jlarue says:
So true EB. I agree. It was his home that was destroyed. Maybe he decided to move in there since his was destroyed. animals unite
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one_step_at_a_time says:
hi notcrazee.
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soimnotthecrazee1 says:
EB,
You go woman!!! Just make him Holly friendly so that you have the two of them to attack the spath.
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ErinBrock says:
No….spath took the sling shot.
But…..mamma’s got a ‘babe Ruth’ arm……and some nice rocks.
Also, if he comes up on the deck again…..i’m going out with the bear spray.
We can have a nice chat as he’s wiping his eyes.
One….there ya go! Party favors!
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ErinBrock says:
The holly in my house OR garden?
LOL……still laughing about that one!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
AND games!
Pin the salmon on the spath!!!
Then that great hide and seek game when you release them blindfolded onto your 3rd floor balcony – with the gate removed, that way if they are not appetizers….they are fallen angels,in every sense of the term!
BTW water balloons with capsicum in them work well, if you have a good arm – just lob them at his face. (umm, that’s the ‘bears’ face…just in case it wasn’t clear.)
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ErinBrock says:
Good thing you clarified that!
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soimnotthecrazee1 says:
LOL… Holly in your house!!!
PS. would that balloon work on the xsath? or even the bear spray
One. LOLOL pin the salmon on the spath!!!
I wanna do it!! Can I do it????
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ErinBrock says:
We will have to use BIG pins……
Sharp knitting needles willwork just fine I believe….
If kim is finished knitting One her toe sox…..i’m sure she’d let us borrow her SHARPEST!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
you’re first up notcrazee – I’ve got some GREAT stainless steal shish kabob skewers that would work just fine, too!
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ErinBrock says:
Rusted ones right?
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soimnotthecrazee1 says:
YIPEEE!!!! Thanks for the support!!!! Rusty, sharp, needles or skewers!!!! LOLOLOL!!!
I sound like a horrible person!!! and I’m not…. I was just pushed to the point of horrible coming out in me. Now I will take pleasure in it!!!!! backspath!!!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
naw, really sharp ones with pointy diamond heads- i am DONE working hard when it comes to the spath.
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one_step_at_a_time says:
notcrazee – don’t worry about it, we have ALL earned our get out of jail free cards where it comes to wanting to maim or kill them. it’s just a fact – anger is a sign that our boundaries have been violated, rage comes from having the core of our very selves messed with, and wanting to hurt them is natural.
my theory – evil in, evil out. when we leach it out, regain our balance and find our post spath power, we may stop wating to dismember them…until then it’s pin the salmon on the spath, with rusty kitchen implements!
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soimnotthecrazee1 says:
One,
Excellent post!!! Thanks for clarifying that!!!!!
my theory – evil in, evil out. when we leach it out, regain our balance and find our post spath power, we may stop wating to dismember them…until then it’s pin the salmon on the spath, with rusty kitchen implements!
notcrazee
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jlarue says:
Since my SP niece has been gone, all I can think about is “I’m Free”. You really don’t know how much stress you are in until they are gone. People say I look so good, so different. It’s funny because I haven’t changed anything. I am just not under that stress.
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Jlarue,
The thing is about stress that the longer you have been under high stress, the longer it will take your body to recover, so be GOOD TO YOURSELF, eat right, exercise, get plenty of rest as well, and keep your emotions in a peaceful place. OUr body puts off hormones in response to stress that short term are helpful (the fight or flight syndrome) but long term these same hormones are toxic to our immune systems and make us sick so taking care of yourself and keeping changes to a minimum (changes cause increased stress, even good changes) so keep the status quo and dont get involved in anything that messes with your mind or happiness! ((((hugs)))) glad you are on the road to recovery. Don’t let her hook you back in to the drama! God bless.
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jlarue says:
I received a call from my nieces great aunt today. She is an elderly lady who has been a great partner of mine throughout this whole crazy situation. She said that she spoke with my niece the SP and she act as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I can not imagine all of the lies my niece the SP is telling them. The great aunt said that she didn’t mention me, thank goodness. I imagine that she is telling them so many lies about me. She is truly evil, like a predator, scoping out her victims.
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Jlarue,
I know you are still trying to figure all this out, and I am glad that you have the great aunt to understand what is going on with your niece, but think about asking your friend (the great aunt) NOT to discuss you with the niece at all, and to not tell you what the girl says or doesn’t say.
Frankly I think the lady would be better off not talking to the girl herself, and I think NO CONTACT is best for you as well, not even “back door” contact by finding out what the girl is up to—just pretend she dropped off the face of the earth or doesn’t exist at all.
If the lady wants to talk about what the girl is doing, or what she said, say something along the line of “Ethel, I really don’t want to know what Suzie is up to right now, it is painful for me to remember what she has done, and that I cannot help her, and I would much rather talk about something happy.”
Then that way you don’t even know what is going on with the girl, and in this case, the less you know about what she is doing or what is happening with her, the less it will hurt you. Unless she is STALKING you. If she is stalking you, just make sure that NO ONE who will pass on information to her about you KNOWS ANYTHING TO PASS ON TO HER. Remember, “loose lips sink ships” (a world war II motto, but quite true!)
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jlarue says:
Thank you so much. It is hard when people tell me things about her or even discuss her. I guess it’s because I sacrificed too much for her. They can not really understand. I find myself trying to figure it out and I know there is no logical explanation. I will tell them not to discuss her with me and never ay anything about me to her. Thank you again.
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Jlarue,
Believe me I do not doubt that she will spread lies and say horrible things to others about you, and the thing is that there really isn’t a way to “defend yourself” without stirring up your own emotions and getting defensive and angry again about it. If you don’t even know what she said, then you won’t get upset about it. It is another part of the NO CONTACT tactic.
My egg donor spread all kinds of lies about me, that I tried to steal money from her, that I was mentally ill, and demented, and you name it….and every time I would hear these things I got FURIOUS. The people who DID BELIEVE these things about me were not people who really knew me, or were close to me, so what did I really care about what they thought, or if they believed her or not? By not even talking about her or listening to gossip what I “don’t know won’t hurt me.” I don’t get angry and stirred up all the time.
People love to gossip, you know that…but it soon blows over and they even forget about it. If they don’t, you aren’t going to convince them anyway. By not listening to gossip about her, or encouraging people to gossip about you to her, you are helping yourself to calm down and to heal.
Yes, you did sacrifice too much for her—it is called “enabling”–doing things for her that she should have done for herself. I have been totally guilty of that myself with my own children, and with others, but I am working on MYSELF and not doing that any more. Instead, I am allowing others to take responsibility for themselves. I confine my “helping” to those who are unable to help themselves, not doing for others what they should do for themselves.
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jlarue says:
Okay, so this morning My mom recieved a call from my niece’s(the sociopath) uncle. This is the same uncle that she said wiped her with anything he could when she was 8 years old. This is also the uncle she has been staying with over the holiday. Well, he wanted to know about the DC Tag program. This is as program for residence of the state. They give up to $10, 000 for out of state fees. Well, my mom told him that my niece knew all about the program and that she was not eligible because was was no longer a resident of the state. She doesn’t live here anymore and that she hasn’t heard from her since September. He said that she would have her call me. Well, she did with an attitude and I told her the same thing my mom told her uncle. Now, she wants to look for her birth certificate which she should have. I told her its not here and good bye. Please advise
She had such a nasty attitude and the nerve of her to call me for something when she has been so hostile.
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skylar says:
jlarue,
like oxy said, “don’t let her drag you back into the drama”.
in fact tell her and anyone else who calls, exactly that. Say, “I’m not interested in drama and lies, really, it’s such a bore.”
It’s like breaking a magic spell. They know you are on to them and they are more likely to give up and find an unsuspecting victim.
That’s one thing the P’s all have in common. They look for “unsuspecting victims”, people who take their lies at face value. If they know you are wise to them, they move on, because it doesn’t work.
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jlarue says:
I am so angry. The nerve of her to even call me expecting me to do anything. Make no mistake about it, I want no parts of her.
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bluejay says:
jlarue,
I would recommend No Contact to your niece. If she calls again, simply hang up. Enough is enough. You do not have to give her the time of day. If she wants a copy of her birth certificate, she can figure out how to do that, contacting the state where she was born, and applying for the certificate, going through the appropriate state department. It’s time she thought for herself, doing what she needs to do (for herself). You can keep yourself out of her drama.
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jlarue says:
Thank you, I will do that. This year is supposed to be about no drama. I plan to keep it that way.
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bluejay says:
jlarue,
I know, I have high hopes for this year, not wanting to have them squashed by spath-drama (for all of us). Be good to yourself today.
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Jlarue,
I don’t understand what you mean “wiped her with anything when she was 8 years old” I am assuming you mean that he treated her poorly, but NOW she is staying with him (probably because she ran out of any other places to stay) and he is calling around trying to find some (DC tag) program what will pay college(*?) fees for her to go out of state to school somewhere besides that state.
As far as her birth certificate, she can do like anyone else who needs a copy of their birth certificate, she can order and pay for a copy from the state in which she was born.
YOu asked “please advise”
my advice for what it is worth.
!. Do NOT talk to anyone about her.
2. advise your mother to NOT talk to anyone about her.
3. When someone calls wanting to talk about her, SAY “I’m sorry, I am not interested in discussing Suzie” then HANG UP.
4. If you have anything that belongs to her, box it up and send it to the last known address you have for her (I guess in this case it would be that uncle’s)
DO NOT TALK TO HER IF SHE CALLS, IMMEDIATELY HANG UP AS SOON AS YOU HEAR HER VOICE. DON’T EVEN SAY “STOP CALLING” JUST HANG UP.
Even angry words encourage her. Good luck, be strong. IGNORE her completely. (((hugs)))
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jlarue says:
I feel as though she abandoned her stuff. The stuff I bought her. She hasnt showed any interest in it until she discovered I wasnt going to help her any longer. I don’t want her or her uncle getting anything from here. I will give it away. I dont care. It seemed like an excuse to get in my house for some reason. She’s evil.
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Ox Drover says:
Jlarue, if you bought the stuff and you feel that way, give it away and get it out of your house—Goodwill or the domestic shelter or whatever.
CLEAN HOUSE and remove any of her “essence” —just get it out of your house so you won’t have to think about it or her when you see it.
Oh, yes, it was an EXCUSE to get to come to your house. No doubt about that!
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jlarue says:
Thank you. I really do appreciate the feed back. It is such a relief when you are dealing with people like this.
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Jlarue,
The only way you CAN “deal with” them is to QUIT dealing with them. Cut them out completely. Don’t argue with them, don’t talk about them to others in your life, don’t listen to others talk about them, don’t keep up with what they are up to, or even worry about what they might have happen to them.
I used to worry night and day about my Psychopathic son in prison, what big Person was beating him up, raping him, killing him, etc.? Well,….shrugging shoulders here now….that is not my problem, it is HIS problem. He did the murder, and they send people who do that to prison. Prison is not a “nice place’–it is filled with people who do violence and robbery and murder (just like him) and they may not be “nice” to him there, oh, well….he PUT HIMSELF THERE, I DID NOT PUT HIM THERE. He chose to go there, to a place where there are bad guys. So what happens to him there is of his own making. Consequences of his choices to kill a young woman.
Your niece has chosen to behave the way she behaves, and you have done what you could to help her make better choices. She has chosen not to take or use those opportunities. Even if it is ONLY because she has (is it bi-polar?) mental illness, there is still nothing you can do to help her. In order to help YOURSELF you are going to have to LET GO of the idea that you can help her and distance yourself from her completely. It hurts when you love someone to do that, but it is the only reasonable way to protect ourselves.
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jlarue says:
It’s been 2 days of peace. I am so glad. No drama and no SP
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Ox Drover says:
Jlarue,
Peace is wonderful isn’t it? It sure is not over rated! I love it!!! It is the most wonderful thing in the world, and it is like the water in the well, you don’t miss it until you don’t have it!
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jlarue says:
Well, it was fun while it lasted. The SP’s uncle called., he is her new victim. She had him to call to arrange to get her stuff. I called my cousin, who has been helping me for 4 years. He doesn’t want to be bothered. I told him that I didn’t want any of those devils at my house and for him to pick up her stuff and and meet him somewhere else. They are not to step onto my property or contact us ever again. I hope I dont have to get a peace order. I want them gone. My mom has been sick all week because of the stress.
I must admit that it is very hurtful. We gave so much and to be stabbed in the back by these folks is hard. My niece is behind it all and her uncle is in it for whatever money her mom left. They didnt become interested until she turned 18.
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Ox Drover says:
I thought you weren’t going to give the stuff back to her, but give it away.
So if your cousin doesn’t want to be bothered, what do you plan to do. How about they can HIRE A MOVING COMPANY TO COME THERE AND GET IT.
I realize that it does hurt to give things to people and then them slam you in the chops with it, or because of it. When we do GIVE something to someone, though, if we TURN LOOSE OF IT, it is gone, it is a GIFT, not a payment on gratitude or control over their behavior.
Jesus gave to us and to others, and even when he healed the ones with leprosy, not even most of them turned to say “thanks” to Him even though it was in effect giving them back their very lives, not just healing a skin disease, as because of having it they were banned from the community, and their families, to living in caves and holes in the ground.
When we do something for others we must turn loose of control of what we give them in order to free ourselves from the anger and hostility that we will feel if they use our gifts poorly. If there are strings attached to it, then it wasn’t a “gift” it was a “business deal.”
“I will give you a car to drive if you enroll in school and make all Bs” is a deal, not a gift, it is CONDITIONAL, and that is OK as long as you are up front with the conditions before the deal is struck. Then when the person doesn’t make the grades you are in your right to take the car back.
When you support someone though, feed them, provide medical care and expenses, etc., buy their clothes and so on, let them live in your house, you are within your rights to make the RULES and if they choose not to abide by them, then you can ask them to leave. Nothing wrong with that at all, but the “look what I have done for her and look how she has abused me when I have been so good to her” attitude is true, but it doesn’t make you feel any better about the situation I don’t think, so LET GO OF WHAT YOU DID FOR HER, consider it a poorly used gift, and distance yourself from her. You are NOT obligated to do anything else for her, and you will be careful next time you feel that someone needs your help that you make any conditions up front before you help them. Once it is done, though, all you can do is to TURN IT LOOSE and let the anger go with it.
It will take time (believe me it does!) LOL but letting go of the bitterness, anger, wrath and hard feelings toward her will help YOU to cope with what is over and done with. You don’t have to approve of what she did in any way, just accept that she did it, you did what you did because at the time you thought it was a good thing to do, but you see now it wasn’t. That’s OK.
I hope your mom starts to feel better with the reduced stress level. And you too. (((hugs)))
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jlarue says:
Dear Ox Drover,
Thank you so much for those words, I needed it. I wasnt going to give her anything but was giving it away. Then when I received a message from the Uncle, I placed it in my cousin’s hands because I didn’t want to deal with it at all. My not wanting to give them to her is retribution. But with the spirit of letting go, I am trying to do whatever will be easy for me.
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Jlarue,
I agree, make it easy on yourself…just get her out of your life, if your cousin doesn’t want to do it, call a moving company to come pick the stuff up, I agree with you, I wouldn’t let them on my place either. You have nothing to gain by getting into a “leg hiking contest” like two dogs marking territory. The only thing we can do with this kind of situation is to distance ourselves from these people physically and emotionally. Sometimes that’s not easy, especially when we loved them and had built up expectations of helping them to help themselves.
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jlarue says:
Why does this seem endless? We can’t seem to heal because they keep bothering us. I hope they leave us alone.
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jlarue says:
Wow, Today my cousin picked up my niece’s things and took them to her uncle’s house. He did not engage them but was direct. He let them know that we were done and that there is no reason for them to contact us. All of her things are gone and I am so very happy. I feel relieved.
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Jlarue,
I think you will find peace with your decision to send her stuff over there and I am glad that your cousin was of help to you and was direct with them about NOT contacting you ever again. That doesn’t mean they won’t contact you, I can almost predict they WILL or she will or she will use and abuse him and then he will contact you, it is NEVER OVER as far as they are concerned. BUT, stick to your guns and NO contact, if she calls or contacts you for ANY reason don’t even say “goodbye” just hang up, or refuse to listen to any messages she sends you via someone else.
Peace will be wonderful and allow you to heal. She’s out of your life now, and soon out of your mind. Glad everything went well.
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theobviousanswer says:
You must all listen and listen carefully. I grew up with a sister that was, and still is to this day a sociopath. I was the young sibling who much like the above toddler was almost drown by my sociopathic sibling. Several attempts were made by my sister to rid me from the picture. From hand feeding me safety pins at the age of two, to turning scoulding hot water on my in the tub at age 3, and yes even attempt to drown me in the bath tub as well. So much went unseen, and my sister was a professional pathological liar by the age of six. If not for my brother (the eldest of us all) I would not be alive right now to write this….. My father was a business man that was never home which left my extremely lazy mother to tend to the three of us children. My sister being a walking replica of my mother was seen as a golden child. My sister would intentionally break things and blame it on me just to watch me get beatings and would stand by and laugh at me as I was being punished. My sister never grew out of her EVIL ways, and just this past year at the age of 36 made headline news for stealing two vehicles, one of which was a bank courier vehicle. She is a drug addict that has verbally, physically and emotionally neglected all three of her children. She prostitutes, and finds almost great pleasure in OIany and every man for what ever she can… And finds even greater pleasure in succeeding in having intercourse with my boyfriends. One of which was my fiance… LISTEN TO ME!!!! I dont care if some doctor says that a sociopath should be addressed with as much love as someone dieing from cancer or not…. That is the biggest line of crock i have ever heard… someone with cancer never asked to have cancer. A sociopath (NO MATTER WHAT AGE) knows EXACTLY what he or she is doing…..And they are asking for it. Bad attention is still attention… They are highly intellegent, they seek to manipulate EVERY single person that comes in there path. From doctors to parents, teachers, and even a man of the cloth. My advice…. GET A VIDEO CAMERA…… IN EVERY ROOM IF NESSESARY….. Do not let the child know it is present…. The only way to help them is to call them out…. My sister would wait until my mother was out of the room to commit unspeakable acts of violence upon me…..almost torture. And the end result would be additional beatings from my mother for things i had never done…. in turn only increasing my sister’s satisfaction….. I do not agree with physical punishment of any sort (partially due in part to my up bringing) but catch the child on video then make him/or her sit it out….. i mean really sit it out…. remove any form of pleasure from the child. if he/or she likes their xbox or wii…. dont let em have it…dont leave your other children in the same room with that child not even for a second…AND FOR THE LOVE OF G?D GET BACK UP!!!! Mom you cant do this on your own…. Mom should be sleeping with the toddler and dad should be addressing the sociopath. Male dominance is essential…… If there is no man in the picture then you better find a live in to help because the sociopathic child finds pleasure and satisfaction in hurting, destroying or creating chaos within a home…They choose it, they feed on it. and no doctor, pill, or man of the robe is gona stop them…. the best thing to do is protect yourself and the rest of the family, and find suitable punishment to address each outrage from the child. And pray in time it breaks the child….. Im sorry but giving more love and compassion to that child IS NOT THE WAY TO GO…….. NO FRICKIN WAY……. Once they can change then they get the love…. thats the reward….. oh, and in regards to the boy that would mutilate animals as a child that grew up to be a loving father and business man….. So was the BTK. And he portrayed himself as a loving husband, father, and community business man that meanwhile tortured, and murdered innocent women. No one knows what perverted and twisted thoughts and tendencies lay within ones mind.
A troubled soul suffers in times of blue and gray, but If a trained professional tells you there is something “dark” inside your child then its already too late… save your self…………….
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theobviousanswer says:
There is no treatment for a sociopath, and it is against medical law to diagnosis an adolescent as a sociopath until they are the age of 18. They will label it as ADHD, or a defiant disorder, and there is no “for sure” explaination as to why one suffers from such; parental disipline (or) the lack there of, heredity, or a traumatic experience. Some may even say on a spirtitual note that the child is evil. Lacking the ability to poses compassion, empathy, remorse, sorrow, or a conscience. Seeking pleasure in inflicting pain upon the innocent. What ever the cause may be know this……. if you care enough not to see this child in this state, then it was not you that created his fate. For, just you doing so he has seen compassion, he is aware of what it looks like, he is aware of what it consists of. As well as empathy, sorrow, and a conscience. He just can not poses them, can not obtain them, he can not force himself to feel them…..He just doesnt have them………… Which makes for a very unpredictable, very heartless, and very dangerous child.
If you fear this child….. you should.
If you want to make it out alive……. never let him know your afraid.
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jlarue says:
Well hello again all. In my last post about my SP neice, I finally let her go and sent all her clothes to her uncles house. I have been getting back to my life or at least trying. It has felt so good to have her totally out of my life until recently. You were right, she showed herself once again. I was served with court papers. She is helping her neglectful and abusive father sue me for money he claimed to sent her. She also had my parental rights completely revoked, which is funny because I considered them over once she turned 18. My attorney is telling me to ignore them because they are just trying to have a show down. I agree, however, I dont want them to go to court and lie on me. I wonder if I can get a cease and desist order.
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Jlarue,
QUOTE: She is helping her neglectful and abusive father sue me for money he claimed to sent her.
If he/she files SUIT I would answer it in court through your lawyer because if you don’t answer a suit, then you lose by default.
QUOTE: She also had my parental rights completely revoked, which is funny because I considered them over once she turned 18.
Did this happen via court order? Were you notified at the time? Yea, I’m like you, I thought they ended at age 18.
QUOTE: My attorney is telling me to ignore them because they are just trying to have a show down. I agree, however, I dont want them to go to court and lie on me. I wonder if I can get a cease and desist order.
Ask your attorney if you can get a cease and desist order. The thing is that each time you go to court it will cost YOU $$$. If they have not filed anything in the court I’d do like your attorney says, IGNORE THEM. If they FILE something in court then I would RESPOND via my attorney. They CAN LIE about you on the street or in court, and they WILL lie about you I am sure, but best if possible to ignore them. Responding is what they WANT.
If they sue though, I IMAGINE you can counter sue for attorneys fees and harassment but check everything out with your attorney.
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jlarue says:
They had me served with a motion. I dont know what they are doing and I am waiting on my attorney to contact me.
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Ox Drover says:
Jlarue
Well, if you were served they have filed something…If it is in small claims court you can probably not have to take a lawyer with you into court. But consulting one is a very good idea. Good luck. Keep us posted.
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jlarue says:
I live in the Washington, DC area. Do you know any attorney who can help me, possibly pro bono? Trying to get in touch with my attorney is causing me great anxiety. I would like to stay with her because she has been there from the beginning and know the case very well but I am ready to move and get this over with.
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Ox Drover says:
Jlarue finding a pro bono attorney in DC is going to be a big if not impossible job…how much money are we talking about they are suing you for? Is there ANY basis for the suit…in other words, did he actually give that money to you? If so, can you prove what you spent it on? Like clothes for her, part of the house hold expenses for rent, utilities and transportation if she lived with you, food, etc.
If he sent you say $5,000 for her and you can prove that she lived with you for say 1-5 years, and that you fed, housed, transported, and dressed her then you ought to be free and clear of any obligation to give her or him back any money….if it was millions of dollars and you lived in a cardboard box and didn’t feed her but you bought fur coats for yourself then you might have to find the money and give it back. Laugh!
Ii would stay with your current attorney if she knows the situation, just keep on calling her. or send a copy of the service to her office along with a letter asking her to represent you. Good luck.
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