Comments on: After the sociopath, hard-learned truths http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/ Wake up to the danger of sociopaths Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:53:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: geminigirl http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44580 geminigirl Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:19:12 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44580 Sorry, forgot to mention this is for NewLily,[and Tilly,if you like!} LUV,gem.XX Sorry, forgot to mention this is for NewLily,[and Tilly,if you like!} LUV,gem.XX

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]]> By: geminigirl http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44579 geminigirl Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:17:19 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44579 Im going to take a risk, and give you my email. here it is. maiandave@eznet.com.au Now, can you email me RIGHT away, and send me your postal address, and I will post the packet to you, timed for when you get home! OK? Luv and {{{HUGS!!!}}}}Gem.XX Im going to take a risk, and give you my email. here it is.
maiandave@eznet.com.au
Now, can you email me RIGHT away, and send me your postal address, and I will post the packet to you, timed for when you get home!
OK?
Luv and {{{HUGS!!!}}}}Gem.XX

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]]> By: ANewLily http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44578 ANewLily Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:02:13 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44578 Geminigirl, No, I haven't left yet. I have a flight for Wednesday morning -- still can't fathom all the miracles to be able to go! Problem -- I think you live in Australia? I wonder how long it takes for mail to go to and fro? I live in southwestern U.S. A. I am honored that you made these purchases for me. Thank you. You make me feel so much better. It is almost 2:00 a.m. and I can't get to sleep. Not tired, not sleepy! Must have taken too many naps today! (which I needed badly!) Since Donna hasn't contacted you I hope she is just out of town, and not sick! I'll be back either Friday or Saturday so I'll for sure receive it by next week -- when I'll need the ritual even more than now, I predict. How did you contact Donna? Tell me the procedure and I'll try to contact her in the morning, okay? I'll just be finishing packing. Geminigirl, No, I haven’t left yet. I have a flight for Wednesday morning — still can’t fathom all the miracles to be able to go!

Problem — I think you live in Australia? I wonder how long it takes for mail to go to and fro? I live in southwestern U.S. A.

I am honored that you made these purchases for me. Thank you. You make me feel so much better.

It is almost 2:00 a.m. and I can’t get to sleep. Not tired, not sleepy! Must have taken too many naps today!
(which I needed badly!)

Since Donna hasn’t contacted you I hope she is just out of town, and not sick!

I’ll be back either Friday or Saturday so I’ll for sure receive it by next week — when I’ll need the ritual even more than now, I predict.

How did you contact Donna? Tell me the procedure and I’ll try to contact her in the morning, okay? I’ll just be finishing packing.

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]]> By: geminigirl http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44577 geminigirl Mon, 17 Aug 2009 07:59:41 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44577 Dear newLily, On another thread, today, I let you know that I have bought all of the items I suggested to you! They are now in a padded bag, and waiting for me to post them to you. I hope you havent already left for the funeral. Can you risk it, and send Donna your email address? Then she can send it to me, and I can email you to get your postal address. I still havent heard from Donna. Im tempted to just give you my email address so you can contact me. Oxy, and all of you guys who have been on LF for a long time, is it OK to give out my email address here? Love and Hugs, GemXX Dear newLily, On another thread, today, I let you know that I have bought all of the items I suggested to you! They are now in a padded bag, and waiting for me to post them to you. I hope you havent already left for the funeral. Can you risk it, and send Donna your email address? Then she can send it to me, and I can email you to get your postal address. I still havent heard from Donna. Im tempted to just give you my email address so you can contact me. Oxy, and all of you guys who have been on LF for a long time, is it OK to give out my email address here? Love and Hugs, GemXX

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]]> By: OxDrover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44563 OxDrover Mon, 17 Aug 2009 03:23:16 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44563 Dear Butterfly, CONGRATULATIONS!!! For not falling for his pity play after all he said nasty to you----DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD HE SAID IT IS ALL LIES! All the "nice" things he said he did not mean, and all the "nasty" things he said, he said just to hurt you....all are lies. HE IS A LIE. They can only hurt us with their words if we believe them. If you were so "awful" why did he want you? He is such a JERK! You deserve better than a creep like him. Even if he has 10 college degrees it will not make him a "man" or a "gentleman" or a good man. He is a worthless piece of human garbage and you do not deserve to have anyone treat you like that. Setting the boundary and telling him he burned his bridges is the absolute BEST THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE. Stay strong and do not ever let anyone treat you like that. Keep on reading, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, and it sounds like you are getting very strong! ((((hugs))) and God bless. Dear Butterfly,

CONGRATULATIONS!!! For not falling for his pity play after all he said nasty to you—-DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD HE SAID IT IS ALL LIES! All the “nice” things he said he did not mean, and all the “nasty” things he said, he said just to hurt you….all are lies. HE IS A LIE.

They can only hurt us with their words if we believe them. If you were so “awful” why did he want you? He is such a JERK!

You deserve better than a creep like him. Even if he has 10 college degrees it will not make him a “man” or a “gentleman” or a good man. He is a worthless piece of human garbage and you do not deserve to have anyone treat you like that.

Setting the boundary and telling him he burned his bridges is the absolute BEST THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE. Stay strong and do not ever let anyone treat you like that.

Keep on reading, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, and it sounds like you are getting very strong! ((((hugs))) and God bless.

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]]> By: ErinBrockovich http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44557 ErinBrockovich Mon, 17 Aug 2009 01:48:29 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44557 Butterfly: You see it, you feel it, now your doing something about it. Your refusal to get him at airport after argument HAD TO EMPOWER YOU.....remember that feeling, take it with you and build on that empowerment. Neither one is healthy for you. Just get out and stay out. NO CONTACT GIRL....NO CONTACT! Anyways.....why would anyone want a uneducated, stupid, worthless, mindless, no one wanting.....(and most likely fat and ugly too).....type of person (I hope you know I am making light of what EVERY S spews out to us) anyways..... So ALLOW....him to depart your horrible world! Do HIM this favor! Ahhhh, fark him......kick him to the curb girl, as quick as you can........'allow' him to go back with his ex......happily ever after....NOT! Who gives a damn where he goes, as long as he GOES!!!! You are a beautiful, articulate, wonderful woman that has a whole load to offer to yourself, a man and the world......AND YOU CAN DO IT WITH OUT HIM beating you down. I sense empowerment in your post, you 'get it', see it and don't want it. CONGRATULATIONS to you!!!!! Your miles ahead......... Keep learnining and reading, and NEVER regret posting here....you will find our journies helpful and, aside from mine.....some good advice! JK! :) Stick around, learn what you have lived to aviod it in your wonderfully bright future ahead!!! Good luck.....don't get sucked in! XXOO Butterfly:
You see it, you feel it, now your doing something about it.
Your refusal to get him at airport after argument HAD TO EMPOWER YOU…..remember that feeling, take it with you and build on that empowerment.
Neither one is healthy for you. Just get out and stay out. NO CONTACT GIRL….NO CONTACT!
Anyways…..why would anyone want a uneducated, stupid, worthless, mindless, no one wanting…..(and most likely fat and ugly too)…..type of person (I hope you know I am making light of what EVERY S spews out to us) anyways…..
So ALLOW….him to depart your horrible world! Do HIM this favor!
Ahhhh, fark him……kick him to the curb girl, as quick as you can……..’allow’ him to go back with his ex……happily ever after….NOT! Who gives a damn where he goes, as long as he GOES!!!!
You are a beautiful, articulate, wonderful woman that has a whole load to offer to yourself, a man and the world……AND YOU CAN DO IT WITH OUT HIM beating you down.
I sense empowerment in your post, you ‘get it’, see it and don’t want it.
CONGRATULATIONS to you!!!!! Your miles ahead………
Keep learnining and reading, and NEVER regret posting here….you will find our journies helpful and, aside from mine…..some good advice!
JK! :)
Stick around, learn what you have lived to aviod it in your wonderfully bright future ahead!!!
Good luck…..don’t get sucked in!
XXOO

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]]> By: ANewLily http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44542 ANewLily Sun, 16 Aug 2009 19:52:41 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44542 Butterfly, I'm wondering if you are going back to just reading and learning on your own because you didn't receive a reply to your post. If I've made a wrong assumption, please forgive me but I am wondering if you know that posters here live all around the globe (well, almost) and have different time zones. I think your first post came at a time when most members here were sound asleep. Don't give up on us yet! We need you and your input, too. I cut and pasted this from your 1:14 a.m. post, "I dont plan to speak to either one again." I think this is an excellent plan. I believe from your post that you got caught in "triangulation." Never a path to joy and contentment. Now that you have broken away and gone No Contact, I think you will benefit from posting your feelings here as you go through the painful aftermath of WALKING AWAY. These are the feelings we all understand and those who are further down that healing path can be of personal help to you. CONGRATULATIONS for walking away. Be proud of yourself for being able to do that!! Butterfly, I’m wondering if you are going back to just reading and learning on your own because you didn’t receive a reply to your post.

If I’ve made a wrong assumption, please forgive me but I am wondering if you know that posters here live all around the globe (well, almost) and have different time zones. I think your first post came at a time when most members here were sound asleep. Don’t give up on us yet! We need you and your input, too.

I cut and pasted this from your 1:14 a.m. post, “I dont plan to speak to either one again.” I think this is an excellent plan.

I believe from your post that you got caught in “triangulation.” Never a path to joy and contentment.

Now that you have broken away and gone No Contact, I think you will benefit from posting your feelings here as you go through the painful aftermath of WALKING AWAY. These are the feelings we all understand and those who are further down that healing path can be of personal help to you.

CONGRATULATIONS for walking away. Be proud of yourself for being able to do that!!

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]]> By: butterfly70 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44527 butterfly70 Sun, 16 Aug 2009 15:25:57 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44527 Well I will keep reading articles here and learn things on my own and continue to be strong..The articles have really help me understand and make the comment to walk away...I wish I could delete the last post and just continue to be a reader but I couldnt figure out how...But as I said I shall read on... Well I will keep reading articles here and learn things on my own and continue to be strong..The articles have really help me understand and make the comment to walk away…I wish I could delete the last post and just continue to be a reader but I couldnt figure out how…But as I said I shall read on…

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]]> By: butterfly70 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44496 butterfly70 Sun, 16 Aug 2009 06:14:41 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44496 Its been excately a week since i last spoke to my s boyfriend. He was here visiting and treated me badly, I mentioned I just wasnt in love with him anymore and that night he took my car out and STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT..just more and more disrespect. Finally I told him it would be best that he stayed with whom ever he was with last night. That drive to the airport was the worst he had ever been with down grading me with no one will ever love me bc of this and that...I have no education~I didnt go to college~THAT IS WHERE HE GETS THAT FROM..I mean I am just telling you the nicer things..I honestly believe that if I would have stayed with him he would of droven me to the point of suiside or a crazy house, that is just how insane he has made me. Not to mention the drama with his ex that remained in our relationship bc he allowed it but blamed me bc her and i would speak when she wanted to tell me what he was doing with her...she would act as if she was being friendly by telling me he was still trying to be with her all the while she was telling him everytime we spoke and it just caused me issues...so again i was the blame for her still being around. (does that make sense). Anyways...he called once real early in the morning..but I didnt answer and dont plan too. She sent me an email about being on some 3way call with him while speaking to her..but since I havent spoken to him in a week that was a lie..but I still got that F.U. words from her...I didnt reply to her either. I dont plan to speak to either one again..before I was able to just forget what was said and then still stay with him...BUT NOW I AM ANGRY..NOW I FEEL LIKE HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF ME LIKE THAT. whats quite odd is after his whole speach on how bascially i was a nobody and never will be during our drive to the airport, as I was almost home he called me and he said "I know we argued but I am here stuck at the airport" I told him he had burnt his bridge here and to just call who ever he had already planned to pick him up before. I fell relieved...I finally stood up for me..even if I dont have a mind of my own..as he says.. Its been excately a week since i last spoke to my s boyfriend. He was here visiting and treated me badly, I mentioned I just wasnt in love with him anymore and that night he took my car out and STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT..just more and more disrespect. Finally I told him it would be best that he stayed with whom ever he was with last night. That drive to the airport was the worst he had ever been with down grading me with no one will ever love me bc of this and that…I have no education~I didnt go to college~THAT IS WHERE HE GETS THAT FROM..I mean I am just telling you the nicer things..I honestly believe that if I would have stayed with him he would of droven me to the point of suiside or a crazy house, that is just how insane he has made me. Not to mention the drama with his ex that remained in our relationship bc he allowed it but blamed me bc her and i would speak when she wanted to tell me what he was doing with her…she would act as if she was being friendly by telling me he was still trying to be with her all the while she was telling him everytime we spoke and it just caused me issues…so again i was the blame for her still being around. (does that make sense). Anyways…he called once real early in the morning..but I didnt answer and dont plan too. She sent me an email about being on some 3way call with him while speaking to her..but since I havent spoken to him in a week that was a lie..but I still got that F.U. words from her…I didnt reply to her either. I dont plan to speak to either one again..before I was able to just forget what was said and then still stay with him…BUT NOW I AM ANGRY..NOW I FEEL LIKE HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF ME LIKE THAT. whats quite odd is after his whole speach on how bascially i was a nobody and never will be during our drive to the airport, as I was almost home he called me and he said “I know we argued but I am here stuck at the airport” I told him he had burnt his bridge here and to just call who ever he had already planned to pick him up before. I fell relieved…I finally stood up for me..even if I dont have a mind of my own..as he says..

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]]> By: Stayingsane http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/comment-page-8/#comment-44463 Stayingsane Sat, 15 Aug 2009 19:47:03 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/07/28/after-the-sociopath-hard-learned-truths/#comment-44463 Donna Thanks for this in- your -face guide to the anger portal and the walk to freedom!! You kept me sane with your advice when I was in Latvia talking with my solicitor...feeling the kind of fury that I could only decribe as insane and my ex P was capitalising on the fact I was "crazy" even though I handled situations and totally checked in with the up date as to who this creep really was (A very ordinary psychopath who fobbed me off, ignored my pleas for mercy, and basically made my attempts at sorting out business a total nightmare) all I could do was pound hotel beds and scream into pillows....no one, not one friend could understand....but every email you sent me I read and re read every word and tried to STOP EXHIBITING MY ANGER AT HIM...but I couldnt....in restotative justice the "victim"is encouraged to shout and express how they feel about what the perpetrator put them through...but I also saw how he did not react...he was calm....coool...while I went into a trade of how disgraceful he was....that expression was for me..not for him..I saw how my flesh and blood pleas to him went ...I had to see it to beleive it!! Donna

Thanks for this in- your -face guide to the anger portal and the walk to freedom!! You kept me sane with your advice when I was in Latvia talking with my solicitor…feeling the kind of fury that I could only decribe as insane and my ex P was capitalising on the fact I was “crazy” even though I handled situations and totally checked in with the up date as to who this creep really was (A very ordinary psychopath who fobbed me off, ignored my pleas for mercy, and basically made my attempts at sorting out business a total nightmare) all I could do was pound hotel beds and scream into pillows….no one, not one friend could understand….but every email you sent me I read and re read every word and tried to STOP EXHIBITING MY ANGER AT HIM…but I couldnt….in restotative justice the “victim”is encouraged to shout and express how they feel about what the perpetrator put them through…but I also saw how he did not react…he was calm….coool…while I went into a trade of how disgraceful he was….that expression was for me..not for him..I saw how my flesh and blood pleas to him went …I had to see it to beleive it!!

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