Comments on: Questions that best identify sociopathy in a person http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/ Wake up to the danger of sociopaths Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:17:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: bluejay http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-116353 bluejay Thu, 28 Apr 2011 10:53:47 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-116353 Sadieandme, I'm sorry that you were ever involved with a sociopath, but I'm glad that you're away from that cold, heartless person. Sociopaths don't deserve to have someone like yourself, a kind, caring, empathetic person. Take care of yourself, something that we should do with or without a disordered person in it. Peace. Sadieandme,

I’m sorry that you were ever involved with a sociopath, but I’m glad that you’re away from that cold, heartless person. Sociopaths don’t deserve to have someone like yourself, a kind, caring, empathetic person. Take care of yourself, something that we should do with or without a disordered person in it. Peace.

(Report abusive comment)

]]> By: bluejay http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-116352 bluejay Thu, 28 Apr 2011 10:52:53 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-116352 Ox Drover, You are correct, the sociopath will lie, not answering questions truthfully. An honest person would tell the truth, feeling guilty about any past misdeed (eg. maybe done in childhood, like taking money from your mother's wallet without her permission). The way to figure out if a person is a sociopath is to compare notes with other people and watch his/her behavior - the disordered person will show his/her true colors over time. Ox Drover,

You are correct, the sociopath will lie, not answering questions truthfully. An honest person would tell the truth, feeling guilty about any past misdeed (eg. maybe done in childhood, like taking money from your mother’s wallet without her permission). The way to figure out if a person is a sociopath is to compare notes with other people and watch his/her behavior – the disordered person will show his/her true colors over time.

(Report abusive comment)

]]> By: Ox Drover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-116343 Ox Drover Thu, 28 Apr 2011 02:18:55 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-116343 The problem I think with asking them questions is that they are not going to give an honest answer....If you asked these questions of someone else who knew them well, you might get a good idea about them....but they are not going to shell down the corn and tell the truth. Look at Bill Clinton when he was on the hot seat, "I DID ***NOT*** HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN...Ms. Lewinsky" LOL He LIED....Look at Scot Peterson....Ted Bundy...and on and on--liars all. The problem I think with asking them questions is that they are not going to give an honest answer….If you asked these questions of someone else who knew them well, you might get a good idea about them….but they are not going to shell down the corn and tell the truth.

Look at Bill Clinton when he was on the hot seat, “I DID ***NOT*** HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN…Ms. Lewinsky” LOL He LIED….Look at Scot Peterson….Ted Bundy…and on and on–liars all.

(Report abusive comment)

]]> By: Sadieandme http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-116336 Sadieandme Wed, 27 Apr 2011 19:25:45 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-116336 I have read with so much compassion the comments and seen the support that is offered here. My "relationship" spanned a twenty year period. The red flags were there but I found excuses never believing that anyone could be so cold and unfeeling. He has money and his own business and likes to dominate others. Control is who and what he must have. There were affairs and abuse and in the end I was set up to go through so much pain that I suffered from P.T.S.D. I lost all hope and am just starting to come back to myself. After making sure he had his by-pass surgery and nursing him to health,after working full time and caring for my dying mother, after three other deaths and standing by him. He talked to me and treated me in the most dismissive way as if I was nothing. After giving him thousands of dollars for work he said it cost him to help sell my home. He waited until he found a home I though was "ours" and three months after I retired from a well paying career to tell me he didn't want a committed relationship. Of course, a new toy was in the picture. One who was a doctor and a new game for him. I have read Martha Stout's book so many times to come to the understanding that there a men like him and I was so taken I couldn't see what he was until his meanness and cold eyes could not be denied. The worst part is wanting to warn those who he has yet to take advantage of and hurt. But I wouldn't even listen to myself and the warnings within so who would listen when he can be so captivating and sincere. It's difficult to start over at 68years old but I had to come to the realization that as Martha Stout said "living well is the best revenge". Nothing I can say or do will change a man who I now consider evil and just horribly bad. I have read with so much compassion the comments and seen the support that is offered here. My “relationship” spanned a twenty year period. The red flags were there but I found excuses never believing that anyone could be so cold and unfeeling. He has money and his own business and likes to dominate others. Control is who and what he must have. There were affairs and abuse and in the end I was set up to go through so much pain that I suffered from P.T.S.D. I lost all hope and am just starting to come back to myself. After making sure he had his by-pass surgery and nursing him to health,after working full time and caring for my dying mother, after three other deaths and standing by him. He talked to me and treated me in the most dismissive way as if I was nothing. After giving him thousands of dollars for work he said it cost him to help sell my home. He waited until he found a home I though was “ours” and three months after I retired from a well paying career to tell me he didn’t want a committed relationship. Of course, a new toy was in the picture. One who was a doctor and a new game for him. I have read Martha Stout’s book so many times to come to the understanding that there a men like him and I was so taken I couldn’t see what he was until his meanness and cold eyes could not be denied. The worst part is wanting to warn those who he has yet to take advantage of and hurt. But I wouldn’t even listen to myself and the warnings within so who would listen when he can be so captivating and sincere. It’s difficult to start over at 68years old but I had to come to the realization that as Martha Stout said “living well is the best revenge”. Nothing I can say or do will change a man who I now consider evil and just horribly bad.

(Report abusive comment)

]]> By: keeping_faith http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-25259 keeping_faith Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:52:15 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-25259 As they say in the great state of VA......"HELL NO!" As they say in the great state of VA……”HELL NO!”

(Report abusive comment)

]]> By: OxDrover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-25258 OxDrover Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:50:51 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-25258 I bett'ya won't ignore that one in the future if you ever hear it again! Those are the times the mask slips just a little and we see the corner of Satan's face, but when we look back it is covered up again. I bett’ya won’t ignore that one in the future if you ever hear it again! Those are the times the mask slips just a little and we see the corner of Satan’s face, but when we look back it is covered up again.

(Report abusive comment)

]]> By: keeping_faith http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-25254 keeping_faith Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:47:15 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-25254 I hear you Ox.....it's like the day the XS/P and I were traveling together and stopped at a rest stop to buy some coffee and he looked at me and just said "I feel like walking over to that guy and punching him in the face." Out of the blue.....no provocation..... Of course like an idiot I try to reason with him...."well why do you feel that way?" He also told me that when people disagree with him it makes him insane and that inside he is going crazy. I hear you Ox…..it’s like the day the XS/P and I were traveling together and stopped at a rest stop to buy some coffee and he looked at me and just said “I feel like walking over to that guy and punching him in the face.” Out of the blue…..no provocation….. Of course like an idiot I try to reason with him….”well why do you feel that way?” He also told me that when people disagree with him it makes him insane and that inside he is going crazy.

(Report abusive comment)

]]> By: OxDrover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-25246 OxDrover Wed, 28 Jan 2009 23:08:33 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-25246 I can look back at my X-BF-P and the things he told me during our relationship that were RED FLAGS that I didn't pay attention to at the time. I did "note" them as "Odd" but then I "explained" them away. His focus on "getting even" with people that had injured him. Instead of telling him to hit the road, I tried to "reason" with him that this was not a "nice" way to think. DUH! He burned his X-GF's house while we were dating. I could go on and on, but there were plenty of things that he TOLD me, that I ignored or brushed away. Never again! I think if we just LISTEN to them without down-playing what they tell us, we will get some information that will set off our "alarms" if we will listen. Of course, if they tell us that they have hurt someone physically, or done criminal acts, etc. then we can LISTEN to them telling us they are psychopaths and RUUUUUUNNNNNN! I can look back at my X-BF-P and the things he told me during our relationship that were RED FLAGS that I didn’t pay attention to at the time. I did “note” them as “Odd” but then I “explained” them away.

His focus on “getting even” with people that had injured him. Instead of telling him to hit the road, I tried to “reason” with him that this was not a “nice” way to think. DUH! He burned his X-GF’s house while we were dating.

I could go on and on, but there were plenty of things that he TOLD me, that I ignored or brushed away. Never again! I think if we just LISTEN to them without down-playing what they tell us, we will get some information that will set off our “alarms” if we will listen. Of course, if they tell us that they have hurt someone physically, or done criminal acts, etc. then we can LISTEN to them telling us they are psychopaths and RUUUUUUNNNNNN!

(Report abusive comment)

]]> By: ThePeregrine http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-25244 ThePeregrine Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:57:20 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-25244 I'm with holywatersalt in being skeptical about the validity of these questions for someone who is a sociopath in the broadest sense. Honest answers to these questions (ha!) might yield a reasonable assessment for someone with a specific diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. There's a spectrum of sociopathy that exists outside that strict definition, though. For me, there's no question that true sociopaths are most dangerous to those people who are closest to them. That's where the violence and emotional abuse seem most likely. But if the researchers are ignoring the broader definition, they're probably missing the point. That narrow view would fail to account for a LOT of collateral damage that isn't violent, but is very harmful to individuals, families and society. I’m with holywatersalt in being skeptical about the validity of these questions for someone who is a sociopath in the broadest sense.

Honest answers to these questions (ha!) might yield a reasonable assessment for someone with a specific diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. There’s a spectrum of sociopathy that exists outside that strict definition, though.

For me, there’s no question that true sociopaths are most dangerous to those people who are closest to them. That’s where the violence and emotional abuse seem most likely. But if the researchers are ignoring the broader definition, they’re probably missing the point. That narrow view would fail to account for a LOT of collateral damage that isn’t violent, but is very harmful to individuals, families and society.

(Report abusive comment)

]]> By: Beverly http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/comment-page-2/#comment-2552 Beverly Tue, 19 Feb 2008 09:10:24 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/01/25/questions-that-best-identify-sociopathy-in-a-person/#comment-2552 Alohatraveller - my ex N had a 'resting' phase too. He told me he had been content not to see anyone after being in a turbulent relationship with the woman before me. His resting phase was about 3 years, so I felt flattered that he came out of hibernation for me - I didnt know the bigger picture then. I just turned what were all the obvious signs - his background, his behaviour of distancing - into 'well that must just be him', so I excused alot of it away. But our sex life was weird, for the first 3 months, he was not really sexual and said that he could life without it - which was strange, given that he hadnt had a regular partner for 3 years, and he put it down to a medical condition he had. I looked that up to on the internet and true it could have been that. All his excuses were plausible - believe me I checked them all.! Alohatraveller – my ex N had a ‘resting’ phase too. He told me he had been content not to see anyone after being in a turbulent relationship with the woman before me. His resting phase was about 3 years, so I felt flattered that he came out of hibernation for me – I didnt know the bigger picture then. I just turned what were all the obvious signs – his background, his behaviour of distancing – into ‘well that must just be him’, so I excused alot of it away.

But our sex life was weird, for the first 3 months, he was not really sexual and said that he could life without it – which was strange, given that he hadnt had a regular partner for 3 years, and he put it down to a medical condition he had. I looked that up to on the internet and true it could have been that. All his excuses were plausible – believe me I checked them all.!

(Report abusive comment)

]]>