Is there any constructive, legal action to take against sociopaths?
PDF Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader:
My psychologist referred me to this web site. It’s terrific save one section: How can running away from these people be the only solution? Granted, it’s a stop-gap solution to protect yourself from future abuses; however, it’s not a solution for full/final resolution.
Allowing [them] to perpetuate their endeavors and perpetrate them on others only permits proliferation. Please tell me that there is some constructive, legal way to be proactive and preventative in a more communal fashion. I have visions of: 20 years from now they rule the world. It won’t be survival of the fittest. It will have become survival of the sickest.
To have to swallow this reality would be a further devastating blow to my slowly recovering resiliency.
There simply must be constructive ways to deal with these [people].
We all know this reader’s frustration. It seems like sociopaths are able to lie, cheat, steal, abuse, damage and injure with impunity. How can this be? Isn’t there anything we can do?
Running away
Let’s first address the issue of running away. This is the best thing to do if you are observant enough to see the signs of sociopathic behavior before you become entangled. If you know what to look for and see the red flags, or if your instincts tell you that someone is trouble, get out. You should not knowingly allow a sociopath into your life if it can be at all avoided.
Many of our readers, however, are already caught in the sociopath’s web of deceit. You have fallen in love, married the sociopath, had children with him or her, or given the person money. Or, the sociopath is a family member. Somehow, the predator already has a piece of you.
You may have been emotionally, physically or financially abused for a long time. You’ve been criticized, denigrated and told that you have mental problems. You’ve lost your confidence and your sense of self. You wonder if you are, in fact, going crazy.
At this point, you must break away from the sociopath to begin restoring your mental health. You must take yourself out of the sociopath’s game. Any time you see, talk to or exchange e-mail with a sociopath, you are opening yourself to further manipulation. He or she knows exactly how to pull you in again, and will do it.
You may call it running away; Lovefraud calls it No Contact. It’s the best way to begin healing.
Criminal prosecution
But how can you take action against the sociopath? How can the sociopath be held accountable? How can he or she be prevented from devastating someone else?
Unfortunately, it is not illegal to be a sociopath. Therefore, action can only be taken based on what a sociopath does, and many typical sociopathic behaviors are legal.
- It is legal to cheat on a spouse or intimate partner.
- It is legal to lie, except under oath and on some official documents (which never stopped a sociopath).
- It is legal for a sociopath to talk someone into giving him or her money.
Many sociopaths know exactly where the legal lines are, and manage to stay in the gray area without crossing over them. Their actions are unethical, but not illegal.
Criminal prosecution only becomes possible when a sociopath violates the law—which many of them do. Prisons are full of sociopaths.
So prosecution is possible when a law is violated, but whether it actually happens depends on the seriousness of the crime. Most murder cases get investigated. Most fraud cases don’t, especially if it’s a sweetheart scam.
Lovefraud usually recommends reporting a sociopath’s crime, even if it is not likely to be investigated. If a sociopath is doing something illegal to you, he or she is probably also doing it to someone else. Maybe if a pattern develops, authorities will take action.
Civil lawsuits
The other option is civil court—suing the sociopath. Unfortunately this will cost you money that you may not have if the sociopath has wiped you out. Then, even if you file a lawsuit, win your case and get a judgment, it may be difficult or impossible to actually get your money. Sociopaths are notorious for blowing through money; there may be nothing left for you to collect.
The whole process of taking a sociopath to court will financially and emotionally drain you. The sociopath, however, looks at a court battle as a game—a game that he or she is determined to win. And they’re good at the game. They bend the rules to suit their purposes. They put on a great show for the judge, even as they perjure themselves. They find attorneys who are equally cold-hearted, or who are so dazzled that they believe the sociopath’s lies.
Many judges, in the meantime, are as ignorant about sociopaths as you were. They hear the sociopath say, “I’m only concerned about the welfare of our children,” or, “I never meant any harm,” and believe the hollow words.
Exposing the sociopath
If you can’t take legal action, you may want to at least expose the sociopath to save someone else from being victimized. You may post the sociopath on Don’t Date Him Girl or other websites that name cheaters. You may get away with it. Or, if the sociopath you expose has resources and likes the lawsuit game (see above), you may find yourself in court, accused of libel or invasion of privacy.
Here’s another complication: There are no legal guidelines for when or how it is permissible to say someone is a sociopath. Media lawyers frequently do not allow the publications or TV shows they represent to call someone a sociopath. This may be the case even if the person making the statement is an expert. When his show about Ed Hicks was taped, Dr. Phil referred to Hicks as a sociopath. Dr. Phil certainly knows a sociopath when he sees one, but the show’s lawyers cut the term “sociopath” from the broadcast.
For this reason, Lovefraud is extremely careful with naming names. According to our terms of service, readers may not post the names of the sociopaths they have experienced in comments to this blog. And when Lovefraud does a case study in which we do identify a con artist, every single statement made about the subject of the story is documented with evidence.
Lovefraud does believe, however, that exposing sociopaths is the only thing that really works. In the future, we hope to offer a Con Artist Database to help our readers. But this is a project with many technical and legal challenges (see above). We look forward to the day when we can tackle them.
What should you do?
So what’s the bottom line? If you’ve been victimized by a sociopath, what should you do?
First, take care of yourself. Extricate yourself from the predator’s grip. That’s what No Contact is all about—escape and recovery.
Then you have to evaluate your situation to determine if further action is possible and worth the trouble. Every case is different. What did the sociopath do? Was it illegal? Do you have evidence or documentation? Do you have the money to pursue action? Do you have the emotional stamina?
If you have a good case, and the resources, by all means take action. Or, if you can’t do it now, maybe you can do it later, after you are healed.
As the saying goes, “revenge is a dish best served cold.” It took me five years, but I finally exposed my ex-husband, James Montgomery. He was fired from his job and forced into bankruptcy.
I will admit—it was satisfying.
written by Donna Andersen • Permalink •
schnoodle64 says:
Ox & LL ~ Thanks for the support. He just send a text that said, OK….I TRIED. Tried what? To control me, that’s what! Since I know him for what he is, it is really pathethic to watch him grasping at every straw trying to reel me back in for sympathy purposes. To hear his sob story of how bad he has it……
The strength I have now is immeasurable! Thanks to LF Friends, hours of counseling, my family, my BF and my answered prayers.
I also found out through my atty that he contacted her and told her that the civil process server told him he didn’t have to respond to the summons. WHAT A LINE OF SHIT! A LIAR ALL THE WAY AROUND! Trying to manipulate even my attorney.
Eva ~ You crack me up. I know no Spanish, but I can say the word, just can’t spell it! And yes, my Spath has no cojones whatsoever!
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Eva says:
Schnoodle, “Ok…I tried” while one gets thinking “what has this bug tried?”
These bugs exhaust even the patience of a saint.
About cojones, they don’t know what cajones are, and they don’t care. We have to accept the truth, they’re cojón-less.
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hushabybabydoll says:
glad to have found this article. . . . My BM kidnapped me and my siblings when my father had legal custody, has stalked me for 22 years and hired a hitman when I was 14, threatened to murder her current husband. . . and JUST last week I had somebody point out that these are FELONIES. My siblings and I are discerning our options as far as criminal law is concerned, many of these things don’t have statutes of limitations. . . . and it could give us peace of mind to have her locked away or at least suffering in some way for the evils that she did to us. . . .
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superkid10 says:
We ALL are in so much pain, I know that some of us have taken action to generate “payback” – whether it was (or wasn’t) legal, moral, ethical, constructive.
My question is just in general – have you pursued payback of some sort? What are your thoughts about it? Did it simply draw out the drama? Did it put you in personal jeopardy? Did it teach the spath a lesson? Did it serve a purpose? Did it put you in a better spot (whether financial, emotional, or whatever)? Did you feel ashamed for pursuing payback?
I just want to learn. I have an experience I’m trying to make sense of. Struggling today.
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Stargazer says:
Wow, how did I miss all the backspath stories? EB and aussiegirl, you are my heroes! You may all recall that I backspathed my spath, too. Even though it kept him in my mind way longer than I would have liked, it was personally very satisfying to see justice served. I don’t think he was banking on it and that’s why he was sloppy with me, leaving clues all over the place.
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Ox Drover says:
Superkid, THE ANSWER IS, “IT DEPENDS.”
It depends on how dangerous (physically etc) the psychopath is, how much they have the way of financial and other resources such as willingness to do you physical/financial harm to fight back (seek revenge on you) and how SERIOUS the crime(s) they have done. ARe the “crimes” actually against the law and serious or are they marginal things that are IMMORAL but not really illegal?
Is it a lot of money that is important? Or is it just a few dollars that you actually have no way of collecting even if you get a judgment.
The thing is, just because the court ORDERS him to pay, does not mean that they will actually pay—-YOU ARE LEFT TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO COLLECT IT AND MAKE THEM PAY. When you can’t find their assets, you have to take them back to court (again) and try to get them to reveal their assets, and when they finally dont’ do it even with ANOTHER court order, then you are back to square one.
BabyDoll—on your BM—while it is true that there is no statute of limitations on some of the crimes your BM committed, you are going to have to take a REALISTIC look at what the law will ACTUALLY DO as far as potentially putting her in jail.
With the over crowding in prisons right now, DAs are not actually prosecuting a lot of crimes that are PRETTY DOG GONE SEROUS, and they won’t see (I think) her past crime of kidnapping you and your sibs (you’re all alive now) as all that risky for the future crimes….so at best I think they will plead this down and let her take probation, at which point, you have done nothing but pith her off worse…..I did this with my P son when he was 17 by turning him in for a robbery—he has hated me ever since and the NEXT PERSON WHO TURNED HIM IN FOR CRIMINAL ACTIVITY, HE KILLED HER. (and is back in prison again) even from his prison cell he has already tried to kill me once, but I know when he gets out he will try again (or before that if he can come up with the resources to do so he will try again)
Proving a 10 year old case of her hiring a hit man to hurt you is IFFY at the very best.
Even if she does go to jail, she isn’t going to stay there the rest of her life and when she gets out she will be REALLLLLLY PITHED!
My suggestion in light of all this is probably your safest option is to remain hidden and far away. Cutting off her supply of information by cutting contact with ANYONE who might even remotely know anything about where you are. Even a name change might be an option and if done in a far away state might be a way to keep her from finding you.
I would suggest that you CONSULT with a private investigator about how to “hide in plain sight”—the consultation shouldn’t be all that costly in terms of money and the advice will be worth a lot. You aren’t hiding from the FBI, just from another private investigator who is doing a sweeping internet search of utility records, registered vehicles etc. It might “queer” your credit for a few years, but that’s a small price to pay for safety and peace. Check it out.
Walking away, even some efforts at hiding your place of residence in many cases is the safest thing I think. If you do choose “revenge” make sure it is a dish eaten COLD not hot, and if you try for “justice” keep in mind, the court system isn’t all that fair or just and getting them out of our minds and heads is easier when we aren’t planning a court case or some way to “make them pay” it just keeps the chit stirred. And when you stir chit you always start to get some on you and stink yourself. It is like painting, you can’t do it and keep your hands clean most of the time.
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hushabybabydoll says:
Ox Drover,
Thank you for your comments and advice! You make some excellent points. We have some friends who will be praying for us on Sunday to have clear discernment in what and how we need to approach things.
My BM has had a special hatred for me- because when she looks in the mirror and chants “Mirror Mirror on the wall. . who’s the fairest of them all” I show up. I really just want to be able to put that behind me and not have to worry about her showing up in any way to hurt my life now. And by having little children, it just seems like it will be nearly impossible to keep her from eventually finding us. I mean we could live “under the radar” but God I would feel so trapped by always living like that! I don’t want to be living in an emotional prison anymore.
As much as I believe and want for all dogs to go to heaven. . . I also want her to suffer for the torment that she’s done to me. I want her to be powerless and to have to experience just a fraction of the injury she doled out to me and my siblings. But really at the end of the day, I just want it OVER. I want to know it’s DONE. But it’s not, and I don’t know how to move forward knowing that my family, my emotional health, our dreams are all hampered by the shadow of a cruel and violent witch who wants nothing more than to watch me suffer. It’s hard to accept that my own MOTHER did this to me. I am so glad I see it, and I want to be free from the “victim” mentality that says I have no power to change anything- as I have made clear steps to sever her ways of stalking me, I just think it’s going to take awhile to really decompress it all.
Thank you for taking your time to address my questions and concerns, it means a lot to me, that somebody who has really BEEN THERE and DONE THAT can help me make sense of it.
God Bless you!
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superkid10 says:
I have to tag on to the thank you to Oxy. Oxy you’ve given me excellent comments and advice and you’ve made me feel welcome on this site. Thank you for your support.
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superkid10 says:
stargazer, where is your story about “backspathing”? I want to hear it.
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Stargazer says:
SK, I’ve told the story many times here, but I couldn’t tell you what threads they’re on. So have a seat, and I’ll tell you again how I backspathed my spath. My spath was in the army and was an Iraqi vet (for real). When I met him, he told me he was due to get a medical discharge within a week for a head injury he sustained while in Iraq. He also told me (on our second date) that he was separated from his wife and living apart, but that they had to wait for the medical discharge in order to get divorced so their young child would get benefits. He told me the divorce was filed through the army also and would come through at the same time as the medical discharge. I had no reason not to believe him at the time. Though I typically do not date married men, even when they’re separated, he seemed SO sincere, so I made an exception. I’m sure others here will tell you the same thing about their married spaths.
Over the weeks/months, there were more and more excuses for the delay on the medical discharge and the divorce. This dragged out for a few months. Those few months were filled with a lot of waiting (on my part), drama (on his part), and doubts (on my part). Eventually he came to me and told me both the medical discharge and the divorce had come through. Of course we consummated that good news with sex, and he was supposed to bring his daughter up the next day to meet me. He had big plans to move closer to me and buy a townhome, and he wanted to marry me.
Instead of showing up at my house, I see him posting on our mutual internet forum. He had no excuse for why he hadn’t shown up! It was his second no-show. The first time he said he was having brain surgery, and I believed him. But shortly after the second no-show, he posted a very recent picture of himself on our mutual forum – WITH HIS WEDDING RING ON! The picture had been taken that morning. This is when my world fell apart.
He still tried to contact me after that and asked if I still wanted to hear from him. I told him that if I EVER saw him, heard from him, or even saw him posting on our internet forum, I would turn him into the army for adultery.
Well, apparently, he didn’t believe me, SK. He continued to post on the site as if everything was fine. It’s a reptile forum, and he started posting pictures of all the new snakes he was collecting impulsively. I feel sorry for the snakes and wonder what ever happened to them. He wasn’t even supposed to have them there (that’s another thing I blew the whistle on him for).
I waited until I felt stronger – about a month. Then I made the call to his army commander. I told him the whole story, thinking he wouldn’t believe me. Adultery is illegal in the army and is a punishable offense. But what the commander told ME really blew me away. They suspected him of faking his head injury to get out of the army! The commander told me that he actually walks with a limp and a cane around them, slurs his speech, and claims to have no feeling from the waist down. The commander couldn’t understand how the spath had driven the hour and a half to see me without the use of his legs. WELL, I laughed so hard! I told him that it was all lies, that the spath acted perfectly normal around me and my friends. The commander asked if I would be willing to sign a sworn statement. I said YES. Not only would I be willing to sign one, but several of my friends who met him would sign them too! Spath boy had actually helped one of my friends remodel a rental property, tearing out carpeting and stomping it down in the dumpster. My friend had a copy of the check he wrote to the spath for the work. I also had a storehouse of pictures and voice mails contradicting the spath’s lies that we were ‘just friends’ and so on. Poor stupid spath didn’t cover his tracks very well because he never in a million years thought he would be backspathed!
Between my friends and I, we buried the spath in his own lies. The army eventually found him guilty of fraud and adultery and claimed he was “appropriately punished” whatever that means. They could not have done this without me and my friends. I felt really good about the backspath, especially since the spath was on suicide watch shortly after the statements were sent in. Poor little spath, his pity play did not work. I have to admit, it was easier than I thought. The backspath can be very empowering if you have an institution like the army on your side.
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schnoodle64 says:
UPDATE ~ I HAVE WON!!! As some of you may know, after 7 years of mind games, lies, deceitfulness, and loaning the Spath $10,000. I took him to court. His attorney has said that the Spath wants to settle for $6,900, which is about what he owes me after making late payments for two years. He wants to make payments of $250 a month for the next 24 months. I will have to settle for this as he could never get $6,900 to pay me off (of course, unless he found another victim to swindle the money from) but I do not want another victim to go through what I went through so I could get my money.
Anyway, he wants to mail me the payments and I have said NO. He will place the money into a savings account I will open just for this, which he will only have “deposit only” access. No information regarding the account will be given to him. Once he has paid off the $6,900 (which will take 2 years), I will close the account. Also, it will be stipulated that if he is one day late on a payment or defaults in any manner, I will then have the court set aside the installment payment judgement and his wage will be garnished, along with paying all attorney & court fees associated with this.
I guess what I am saying is that I WON. He did not want to go to court and blow his Mr. Wonderful image. I had so much evidence that he would have been made a complete fool. BTW, his married attorney(who is is best friends wife) is someone he had an affair with and she thinks I didn’t know this. That would be a surprise to bring that up in court. I am sure he made me out to be this blood-sucking b*tch, but the evidence would have proven otherwise. He is a blood-sucking SPATH!
Thank you to everyone for their support over the last year that I have been on this sight posting.
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candy says:
schnoodle64 – EXCELLENT. Sooooo pleased for you. Good idea about getting a separate account. It’s good to hear a success story – thank you.
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Donna Andersen says:
Schnoodle – Way to go! Congratulations!
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Hens says:
Schnoodle – That is great news ~! can I borrow 500 bucks?
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candy says:
Hens-Do you need the money for ‘duckie’ payments?
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superkid10 says:
Stargazer
I just today found this thread thanks to Hens and Candy.
Wow. What a story. And congratulations! HA HA HA HA! I love it that you nailed him!
I have to tell you, I recently backspathed my SPATH too. I’m too afraid however to put it on this forum, but he worked for an institution much like the military. It worked!!!!!!
Some times I get very afraid that he’s going to hunt me down and kill me. Other times I’m thinking, holy shit, I can’t believe I did that, it was so terrible of me. And then, when I’m sane, I say to myself, he did it to HIMSELF. Loser!
Thanks for sharing your story, stargazer!!!
superkid
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schnoodle64 says:
Hardy har har, Hens!!! I have learned my lesson. Another thing even more importantly than winning the judgement and his paying me back is that I STOOD UP TO HIM! I NEVER answered his texts over the last year about how much he loves me and the yada yada yada drama. I stood my ground and will remain to stand my ground. That is why I do not want him to even mail the payments to me. He would find an excuse that he couldn’t get it in the mail on time,so he had to come by my house and put it in the mailbox. I am telling him in a very firm way, that he is NOT to be anywhere near my home. It was a good try on his part to want to do the mailing of payment, but I saw that one right away! God, I have learned so much from this Spath and the red flags are right there and I adhere to them.
I have regained control over my life and my choices and WHO I choose to chat with, text with, relate with. And it’s NOT HIM! He has finally got the message that I am no longer able to be sucked into his con games.
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eb92044 says:
schnoodle64:
Woo hoo!!!! You are awesome!!! It takes a very strong woman to do what you did. Sadly, I see very few do it. So you are an exception, lady!!
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schnoodle64 says:
Thank you Candy and Hens! A big hug and thank you to Donna for bringing this information to light for me. I would have never known but only been confused and thought I was crazy. And learning about NC? That is the only thing that brought my sanity back and I was able to see him without the rose-colored glasses. Donna, you are my lifesaver! God Bless You!
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schnoodle64 says:
Thank you EB! I will tell anyone here that I was absolutely in love with this man. I had to go through intense therapy to learn that I am not crazy nor was I losing my mind. I was not a bad person. And it was okay to go after this person for the money he conned me out of. It took me 8 months of NC to gain the strength and to detach my heart, to be able to go after the Spath. I feel nothing towards this individual. Not love or hate. What I do feel is empowerment over my life and my decisions and that is priceless.
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eb92044 says:
schnoodle64:
You did ALL the right things, you really did and now you are recovered…that is priceless!!
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Hens says:
Candy – I am behind on my duckie payments but mamma duck can wait, I need a new bed ~!
Schnoodle – You grew you some balls ~! something your X doesnt have….I am proud of ya ~! and yes I understand the emotional struggle you have been thru….
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schnoodle64 says:
Hens, that is what puts the smile on my face today. That he now knows that I AM NOT the meek and shy and quiet nor gulliable Schnoodle he once knew.
I am SUPER SCHNOODLE. HEAR ME ROAR! or in this case a schnoodle is a dog….so HEAR ME BARK!
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Ox Drover says:
Dear Schnoodle!!!! TOWANDA!!!! GREAT JOB!!!!
I guess I’ll have to take Hens to court to get him to pay up more THREE DOLLAR BILLS for duckie support!
Oh, BTW hens, the 3 surviving older duckies are 2 girls and a boy! (you can’t tell until their voices change) and we have 5 more baby duckies which are almost a week old. I moved them outside to a wire cage today…It has been so hot here (nearly 100 degrees and 85% humidity) I didn’t figure they needed too much additional heat or to be inside…..so no more duckie diapers to change (they ARE messy stinky critters!)
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ErinBrock says:
Schnoodle~
GOOD GOING GIRL! You followed through, you fought hard and you got what you deserved!
YES!!! CONGRATS!
It’s good to see you have a plan in place for collecting, and a Plan B for garnishing.
I’m proud to know there are others taking a stand for RIght is right and wrong is wrong!!!!!
We don’t have to back down…….it’s open season on spaths!
Kudos for the mojo and the outcome!!!!
Wear your scnoodle cape proudly!!!!!
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KatyDid says:
Hens H. H. HENS (I needed a first name and initials for this one!)
Duckies payments is NOT for mamma duckie. It is for baby duckies and THEY DON’T WAIT to grow just ’cause you need the money for something else. Best think about this one. Ya don’t wanna have Gloria Alreduck on your tail!
HuRrump!
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Hens says:
oh Katydiddles – mamma duck takes her 3 dollar bills to the casino anywho….and Goria Alldread only takes cases for the rich and famous – neither of one she are…
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I_survived_The_Bastard says:
Schnoodle – Well done!! That’s great news! Someone got their own back on an spath! Hurrah!!
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schnoodle64 says:
Erin Brock ~ Thank you and you are right. He completely expected me to back down even when he would call my phone and leave messages that normally would have stopped me in my tracks. Not this time. It’s time for the Spath’s head to start spinning and not being able to make heads or tails of this! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Time for Schnoodle to cause a little crazy making on the Spath! Not intentionally though, just got my nerve to do so.
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schnoodle64 says:
Thank you Ox. It has been 7 years of crazy making on his part and now he is thinking “what the hell?” “where did my cowardly and shy Schnoodle go”? He intitially wanted to fight me tooth and nail on this, but once my Atty told his atty that I have a crap load of evidence on the Spath, his atty said, hey dude, you better settle! I even have a voice recording of him saying “I owe you the money Honey and I want to pay you back every dime”. Don’t get to play it in court, but he would have filled his drawers when I did. HAHAHAHA!
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schnoodle64 says:
ISTB ~ Thank you. I feel so liberated and that I DO have a voice. I escaped the grasp of the Spath and I was able to sue him for the money he owed me. I won twice over!
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I_survived_The_Bastard says:
Schnoodle – Mine took me for over £15k, not to mention all the financial support I gave over the years and I’ve only recently been able to pay it off. I think he is dead now so no way at all for me to get anything back, but to hear someone else do it it fantastic.
the only thing I was able to do was to get a baliff & police to get to his place, arrest him & his new GF for outstanding money he owed a debt company. That felt fantastic too lol
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ErinBrock says:
I_Survived~
A dead spath is even better!!!
Can you attach his estate?
Fighting a dead spath is much easier…..and no attorney required!
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ErinBrock says:
Scnoodles~
Girl, you found your adamant and went for the balls!
Once we ‘cross over’ that fear line, so much negative emotions are tossed away. We turn the tables on them.
They operate on fear, putting it on others……they don’t count on us fighting back. We’ve backed down for so many years they assume we are puddy in their hands.
Once we take back ‘US’……and toss aside that fear……we can do ANYTHING!
It’s great when they can’t predict us, or our emotions or our reactions……they lose all holds on us.
I think it’s important to ‘shake it up’…..and remove the easy button they always knew where to push on us to make us crumble.
I am so unpredictable to my ex spath…….all he knows about me is NOT to fuck with me, because he will get the backspath 10 fold!
Good guys 1 spaths 0!!!!
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ErinBrock says:
Hens….Ms Katydid is right…..STOP making excuses for your ducksupport!
XXOO
Love ya duckydoodles!
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I_survived_The_Bastard says:
ErinBrock – his estate? Ha ha he had nothing! He was a real vagabond in some ways. he lived on the edge of the law, hd very few possessions apart from his books, music, clothes and motorbike. He wasn’t capable of even holding down a proper job towards the end. He got a job in computers and caused such an altercation they got rid of him. He went from one courier job to another.
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I_survived_The_Bastard says:
And I can hear the questions – why did I stay with him? Because I loved him, I hoped things would get better etc etc lol
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ErinBrock says:
Okay…..belonging to the Backspath Mafia….I had to ask!
NOT shocking…..
PS….I think you’d look good on a mototbike though!
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Ox Drover says:
Hens, the casinos in Mississippi, which are the closest ones to me, don’t take the $3 bills you sent….I’m beginning to get suspicious that these are FAKE currency! The feed store won’t take them either! LOL
I guess I’ll just have to bundle up the duckie diapers and sent them to you! LOL Actually the baby – baby ones are outside now so no more “diapers” (gosh they ARE messy critters!)
It is 97 degrees here already…I’m finding stuff to do inside the house, but did work outside for a couple of hours this morning in the garden and yard.
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I_survived_The_Bastard says:
@ ErinBrock – yes I did!! lol I still have my leathers, just can’t fit onto them any more lol. I sold my bike due to injury.
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ErinBrock says:
Oxyliscious~
97…..SHIT! I’m looking out my window at SNOW tumbling from the sky!
No duckies in my yard maybe duckypops……
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Ox Drover says:
WOW! Snow in June! My kinda place, I am buying a ticket for EBrockville tonight! Get my bed ready I’m on my way!
Actually this is crazeeee weather back here….was so mild for so long then BAMMMM in 3 days went from early spring to mid summer….rain rain rain and coool to HOT, HUMID AND NO RAIN! But just have to work outside in the mornings.
Oh, BTW did you see where I NOW HAVE A BEAR RESIDING HERE? Yep, Son D saw the farker….he tore into a rabbit cage I was storing some stale bread in to keep the cat out of it before I fed to the big ducks….and dogs have been raising cane all night lately, so he’s been around for a while we think. I’m calling the game and fish monday to come trap him before he does some major damage. son D said he looked like a last year’s cub on his own now and he still runs from the 18 pound barky dog but that won’t last long…
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ErinBrock says:
Oxy….be nice to the bears!!!!!
Bed is ready….bring your summer woolies.
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Ox Drover says:
EB, summer woolies! LOL I guess that is shorts made out of wool material! LOL Worn with a parka! LOL ROTFLMAO
Well, son D just left for his summer job at BS camp so I am holding down the fort here. Gardening a bit this year which I didn’t do last year. But I will be getting out early and doing up my outside work and then hiding in the AC the rest of the day! LOL I’m still bushed from my week with my cousin’s family.
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ErinBrock says:
Think of me when you crank that AC…..I’ll be the one with the 4WD and snow shovel in my hand, sitting next to the heater. No pedicure necessary around here just yet and in no rush to unpack the cute summer sandles…..it’s Ugg Boots all the way baby!
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KatyDid says:
Hens!
Katydiddle?!! Well. I never! (okay only b/c i never thought of it.)
Duckie support is very fair. Think it could be Worse than Gloria Allreduck ; what if Oxy sent them to you for a visit when they reach PUBERTY! Yeah, thought that would scare ya! If ya thought it was work to clean up after fluff, wait til you see the messes a pre-pubescent gets in to.
ps I am sure she takes her bills to the casino only b/c she spent her pin money on quackers. Besides, it’s just a night out once in a while for sanity purposes.
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schnoodle64 says:
ISTB ~ Yeppers. That’s right. I think we all loved our Spaths to the ends of the earth. The problem is they knew and took advantage of that love and trust. During our breakups, whenever I would even try to date someone, he would interfer to every extent. This time, though, it didn’t work. I have been with the new wonderful man since September. He knows all about the Spath and has read all his texts. I am so comfortable in this relationship. There is no fear, no eggshells, absolute trust both ways. A TRUE RELATIONSHIP! The Spath tried to interfer with this relationship but I would not let him. I ignored all his texts. NC. My new beau has been extrememly supportive and has been my rock in all of this.
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schnoodle64 says:
EB ~ Yes, I was very predictable. And now that I am out of the relationship, the Spath is very predictable. I can see through all his BS he tries to feed me. Even last year, when I met my new beau, the Spath told me that he wasn’t going to stay with his ex-wife cause that would be settling and he is not going to settle. Guess where he has been for the last 1-1/2 years? You got it. With his ex-wife. I guess he settled. Well, Mr. Spath, I’m not going to settle and I MEAN what I say! Hahaha.
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schnoodle64 says:
I just wonder if his ex-wife (that he settled for) knows that he texted me just a month ago telling me that he loves me, that he will always love me and that I still the greatest person he has ever met. SOMEONE GIVE ME A BUCKET, I AM GOING TO PUKE! The rose-colored glasses are off Buddy! I see right through that one. Granted a year ago,I would have fallen to my knees and my heart would have gone pitter-patter. Not now. It’s all a line of BS. Everything that comes out of his mouth and I realize that now.
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KatyDid says:
schoodle64
I wonder if his ex-wife knows he says he “settled” for her.
I read similar words from my husband, who was writing to his old gf’s Uncle… that the best was gone (she’d gotten married) and that now my husband had to settle for less (me. the woman who really loved and supported and adored him and sacrificed and worked to make HIS life into what HE said he wanted.)
Later, it was that I was worth LESS than nothing, not worth the air I breathed. And for a while, I believed him. Then I decided to not the one he settled for. But no worries, he already had LOTS of other more worthy women waiting for him.
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