Comments on: Finding grace in the healing journey http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/05/09/finding-grace-in-the-healing-journey/ Wake up to the danger of sociopaths Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:17:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: apt/mgr http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/05/09/finding-grace-in-the-healing-journey/comment-page-1/#comment-643 apt/mgr Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:38:42 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/05/09/finding-grace-in-the-healing-journey/#comment-643 I read with enthusiasm the other comments, because it shows me that I'm not alone. I was doubting my own sanity for so many years of my life. I would stand at the mirror and look at myself, wondering what was so wrong with me. I am 57 years young, (now), married for 37 years, and am on my way out of that nightmare. But in the midst of that nightmare, I met a really good looking man, who wanted us to be friends and truly believed he was sent by God to take me away from the awful I was living. Instead, this man messed me up so badly, and because I couldn't have sex with him, (I didn't want a cheap, back alley affair) I was punished. But I was so broken from my husband, that I thought what my friend was doing, was in my best interests. It was this sick, push, pull relationship. He was the master of deceit. So much happened, between him and my husband, that they made themselves dispensible, and pushed me to being stronger than they. I feel like I have finally come out on the right side and I can laugh carefree again. I refuse to be at the mercy of a mere man, just because he says so. This so called friend bilked me out of a lot of money. I got half of it back, but paid a price for that. I actually feel sorry for these men who do what they do. There comes a time when everyone is gone, and I don't think they care. They miss out on so much real, but if they don't know what real is, they don't know what they are missing. There heart is so hardened to truth and real love. My opinion is that their mother had something to do with their emotional state and they can't relate to women. I didn't think the sun would shine again for me, but praise God, it did and does. I have so much belief in God and I petitioned Him constantly as my Counselor. He brought about the truth I so desperately craved and stopped the insanity. That was before I found all these web sites that are showing me there are many of us who have been duped in the name of love and friendship. For me, I never knew that men would use a woman as a substitute for their mother or former wife, etc. I never knew that people used other people for anything. Being used by someone is the lowest form of abuse ever. Being used encompasses so many of the abuses, and leaves one so empty and forlorn. Healing does come for those who seek it. I'm so much older and wiser. The part that saddens me is that the most of these men are so good looking. We fall for their looks and find out that a brightly wrapped package, is empty. All the old cliches are so true and all that glitters isn't gold. How sad for these men who think the way to win is through manipulation and exploitation. It works for a time, but they eventually lose. I think one big part of their scheme is based on their sexuality and they use that to lure one in, and we women think they have to love us, if we can turn them on. That's all they need to get them started, then they proceed from there. They have us hooked on them, and they use that to their advantage. It's so important to talk with someone and seek advice, if the way we are living seems disturbing. Most often it is. I had no one I could trust for many years, to tell my story to, and my husband and friend had me believing that it was all my fault and I was the inept one. Not so. They want their desires satisfied first and if there's any left over we might rank. But these men are the ones we love to hate. Although I don't hate, I hate what they've done. There is no trust left, and I don't believe a word that is said. I told my "friend" that when a man messes with a woman's money, emotions and sexuality and doesn't mean it, he gives her the right to look behind the scenes and find out everything she can about him and his character. He didn't want me to find out that he's a cheater and liar and a user of women. He uses his sexuality to lure women in, sweet talks them out of their money, and cheats on them, apparently for the thrill of the chase. I don't know for sure, but the evidence suggests it. That's what he did to me. But through it all, I have emerged sadder and wiser, but with more wisdom than I had going in. There is a tomorrow. I am there and it feels so good. I had to deceive the deceiver for a time in order to get my money back and restore my dignity. But I know the signs and would rather walk alone than to put myself in that boat again. I look forward to more suggestions and insights into other's solutions. I read with enthusiasm the other comments, because it shows me that I’m not alone. I was doubting my own sanity for so many years of my life. I would stand at the mirror and look at myself, wondering what was so wrong with me. I am 57 years young, (now), married for 37 years, and am on my way out of that nightmare. But in the midst of that nightmare, I met a really good looking man, who wanted us to be friends and truly believed he was sent by God to take me away from the awful I was living. Instead, this man messed me up so badly, and because I couldn’t have sex with him, (I didn’t want a cheap, back alley affair) I was punished. But I was so broken from my husband, that I thought what my friend was doing, was in my best interests. It was this sick, push, pull relationship. He was the master of deceit. So much happened, between him and my husband, that they made themselves dispensible, and pushed me to being stronger than they. I feel like I have finally come out on the right side and I can laugh carefree again. I refuse to be at the mercy of a mere man, just because he says so.

This so called friend bilked me out of a lot of money. I got half of it back, but paid a price for that. I actually feel sorry for these men who do what they do. There comes a time when everyone is gone, and I don’t think they care. They miss out on so much real, but if they don’t know what real is, they don’t know what they are missing. There heart is so hardened to truth and real love. My opinion is that their mother had something to do with their emotional state and they can’t relate to women.

I didn’t think the sun would shine again for me, but praise God, it did and does. I have so much belief in God and I petitioned Him constantly as my Counselor. He brought about the truth I so desperately craved and stopped the insanity. That was before I found all these web sites that are showing me there are many of us who have been duped in the name of love and friendship. For me, I never knew that men would use a woman as a substitute for their mother or former wife, etc. I never knew that people used other people for anything. Being used by someone is the lowest form of abuse ever. Being used encompasses so many of the abuses, and leaves one so empty and forlorn. Healing does come for those who seek it. I’m so much older and wiser.

The part that saddens me is that the most of these men are so good looking. We fall for their looks and find out that a brightly wrapped package, is empty. All the old cliches are so true and all that glitters isn’t gold. How sad for these men who think the way to win is through manipulation and exploitation. It works for a time, but they eventually lose. I think one big part of their scheme is based on their sexuality and they use that to lure one in, and we women think they have to love us, if we can turn them on. That’s all they need to get them started, then they proceed from there. They have us hooked on them, and they use that to their advantage.

It’s so important to talk with someone and seek advice, if the way we are living seems disturbing. Most often it is. I had no one I could trust for many years, to tell my story to, and my husband and friend had me believing that it was all my fault and I was the inept one. Not so. They want their desires satisfied first and if there’s any left over we might rank. But these men are the ones we love to hate. Although I don’t hate, I hate what they’ve done. There is no trust left, and I don’t believe a word that is said. I told my “friend” that when a man messes with a woman’s money, emotions and sexuality and doesn’t mean it, he gives her the right to look behind the scenes and find out everything she can about him and his character. He didn’t want me to find out that he’s a cheater and liar and a user of women. He uses his sexuality to lure women in, sweet talks them out of their money, and cheats on them, apparently for the thrill of the chase. I don’t know for sure, but the evidence suggests it. That’s what he did to me.

But through it all, I have emerged sadder and wiser, but with more wisdom than I had going in. There is a tomorrow. I am there and it feels so good. I had to deceive the deceiver for a time in order to get my money back and restore my dignity. But I know the signs and would rather walk alone than to put myself in that boat again. I look forward to more suggestions and insights into other’s solutions.

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