Comments on: Love not lovefraud http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/01/03/love-not-lovefraud/ Wake up to the danger of sociopaths Tue, 07 Feb 2012 06:52:30 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Lemondroppr http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/01/03/love-not-lovefraud/comment-page-1/#comment-267 Lemondroppr Sat, 06 Jan 2007 23:43:56 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/01/03/love-not-lovefraud/#comment-267 Liane, this blog, your words, have touched my soul. You have provided me with the explanations, descriptions and answers I have been searching for my entire life. Thank you. Liane, this blog, your words, have touched my soul. You have provided me with the explanations, descriptions and answers I have been searching for my entire life. Thank you.

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]]> By: Donna Andersen http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/01/03/love-not-lovefraud/comment-page-1/#comment-264 Donna Andersen Thu, 04 Jan 2007 23:03:26 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/01/03/love-not-lovefraud/#comment-264 The psychoanalyst Erich Fromm wrote a slim little book back in 1956 called "The Art of Loving." He says: "Love is the active concern for the life and growth of that which we love. Where this active concern is lacking, there is no love." I read the book many years ago. It's probably worth reading again. The psychoanalyst Erich Fromm wrote a slim little book back in 1956 called “The Art of Loving.” He says:

“Love is the active concern for the life and growth of that which we love. Where this active concern is lacking, there is no love.”

I read the book many years ago. It’s probably worth reading again.

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]]> By: LAMan http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/01/03/love-not-lovefraud/comment-page-1/#comment-263 LAMan Thu, 04 Jan 2007 21:51:28 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/01/03/love-not-lovefraud/#comment-263 Thanks for Lovefraud! That's all I can say. I have been recovering from my relationship with - I call him "the psycho" for 4 months now. I've had great advice, and have done my homework, and my sleuthing. Most of the time I feel pretty good again in terms of my recovery from the abandonment and the (what I later learned was) emotional abuse. Still...from time to time, my resolve softens, softening somewhat less each time....and I experience feelings of loss for the companionship of this person. What is confounding, is that some of the insight he would impart on me regarding myself would be dead on. Insight about what I was lacking or seeking, or how I was handling my situation at home with my partner, etc. Really bright insight...and sometimes, yes, I doubt myself and my conclusions about him being so evil. Of course, I remind myself he spent time in prison, and he led me on and how he led me on to continue having a relationship with him. I hate any time I spend thinking about him because I know he is not thinking about me. Still, I wish he were. I start to have those "what if I ever spoke to him again" imaginary conversations and then force myself to stop wasting my time because that conversation will never happen. My psycho has finished with me utterly. And based on what I've read here, that is probably lucky for me! Anyway, this post about what love is is another great boost at just the time I needed it. I am already in a long-term relationship that I am working on. The psycho was my one and only affair. It is easy to be confused by someone who can lie about love so convincingly, or someone who can have such penetrating insight into your personality. I am glad to turn to Lovefraud to stay grounded about what kind of person I had been dealing with. They are truly baffling people...but they don't deserve any reverence for their complexity! Still strong here, thanks! Thanks for Lovefraud! That’s all I can say. I have been recovering from my relationship with – I call him “the psycho” for 4 months now. I’ve had great advice, and have done my homework, and my sleuthing. Most of the time I feel pretty good again in terms of my recovery from the abandonment and the (what I later learned was) emotional abuse.

Still…from time to time, my resolve softens, softening somewhat less each time….and I experience feelings of loss for the companionship of this person.

What is confounding, is that some of the insight he would impart on me regarding myself would be dead on. Insight about what I was lacking or seeking, or how I was handling my situation at home with my partner, etc. Really bright insight…and sometimes, yes, I doubt myself and my conclusions about him being so evil.

Of course, I remind myself he spent time in prison, and he led me on and how he led me on to continue having a relationship with him.

I hate any time I spend thinking about him because I know he is not thinking about me. Still, I wish he were. I start to have those “what if I ever spoke to him again” imaginary conversations and then force myself to stop wasting my time because that conversation will never happen.

My psycho has finished with me utterly. And based on what I’ve read here, that is probably lucky for me!

Anyway, this post about what love is is another great boost at just the time I needed it. I am already in a long-term relationship that I am working on. The psycho was my one and only affair. It is easy to be confused by someone who can lie about love so convincingly, or someone who can have such penetrating insight into your personality.

I am glad to turn to Lovefraud to stay grounded about what kind of person I had been dealing with. They are truly baffling people…but they don’t deserve any reverence for their complexity!

Still strong here, thanks!

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]]> By: will be okay http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/01/03/love-not-lovefraud/comment-page-1/#comment-261 will be okay Wed, 03 Jan 2007 22:31:44 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2007/01/03/love-not-lovefraud/#comment-261 What a great blog. I have noticed in studying these people, that so many say I love you so easily, and so quickly. My sociopathic ex was different. The only person he would say it to was his son and even then the boy had to say it first, and when he said it back, it was insincere. He almost seemed annoyed to have to say it to him. He was antagonistic. So when he wouldn't say it to me, he made it seem like he wasnt saying it, just to get my goat. He actually used to say "The only person I'll say it to is (son's name)" I said "What about your mom?" he said "Nope, I won't say it to her either". He and his ex wife were together off & on for a few years, one day he told me he never loved her, he shrugged and said he just stayed for the sex. Once again, What I mistook as sarcasm & antagonism... Was just an outright evil, cold heart. There is no attachment, even if they make you think there is. They absolutely cannot love. What a great blog. I have noticed in studying these people, that so many say I love you so easily, and so quickly. My sociopathic ex was different. The only person he would say it to was his son and even then the boy had to say it first, and when he said it back, it was insincere. He almost seemed annoyed to have to say it to him. He was antagonistic. So when he wouldn’t say it to me, he made it seem like he wasnt saying it, just to get my goat. He actually used to say “The only person I’ll say it to is (son’s name)” I said “What about your mom?” he said “Nope, I won’t say it to her either”. He and his ex wife were together off & on for a few years, one day he told me he never loved her, he shrugged and said he just stayed for the sex.

Once again, What I mistook as sarcasm & antagonism… Was just an outright evil, cold heart. There is no attachment, even if they make you think there is. They absolutely cannot love.

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