By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)

We frequently talk on Lovefraud about finding healing and being “happy” again. We discuss the words “forgiveness” and other emotionally charged words that have individual meanings and try to come to some conclusion that we have a definition of these words for ourselves.

I got to thinking about the meaning of “happiness,” and how I will know when I have reached it. What is happiness to me? For me?

After my husband died, there was a period of time when in my profound sadness and grief, that I thought “happiness” could be found in finding another mate and husband. I went seeking that “happiness,” and instead of a life mate and loving relationship with a new man, I found a psychopath who was seeking a new “respectable wife” to cheat on. My feeling of “happiness” was very short lived when I realized he was still “carrying on” with his former mistresses, which essentially amounted to a harem of needy women hoping he would “choose me.”  Read more... (1061 words, 0 images, estimated 4:15 mins reading time)

Aaron Hand, the former president of AFG Financial Group, was convicted of masterminding a $100 million mortgage fraud scheme. Three days ago he admitted plotting to kill a witness in an attempt to stay out of jail for the fraud.

Read Jailed NY fraudster admits plot to kill witness, on ABCNews.go.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

Editor’s note: The following essay was submitted by a Lovefraud reader, who has discovered that she can find healing from her encounter with a sociopath through writing.

Awakened Senses

By Nancy Voelker

I see … a field as I drive through the countryside. We had a picnic and laid looking at clouds, bodies entwined.

I smell … smoke from a chimney. His arms were wrapped around me as music played softly and we watched the flames dance.

I taste … butter on my finger as I make dinner in my quiet kitchen. We spent an afternoon boiling lobsters and gorging ourselves. Kissing butter off our chins.

I hear … a song playing as I wander through the bookstore alone. He grabbed me and twirled me, laughing, to that song as he held me close.  Read more... (919 words, 0 images, estimated 3:41 mins reading time)

Jennifer Mahoney, 32, of Manalapan, New Jersey, was charged with sexually abusing a 5-year-old girl and streaming the encounter via Skype to a man in Texas. Read:

Federal complaint against Texas man sparked probe of N.J. babysitter accused of sexually abusing 5-year-old girl on NJ.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

It is easy to get caught up in the pain and suffering and not see all the good.  Often times, when we are most hurt, it is difficult to see anything but pain and evil.

The world is full of good, selfless giving, love and miracles.  We just need to look for it!  I like a saying I once heard that goes like this…

“You are what you pay attention”

This is true for me because when I am grateful, I feel good.  And when I feel good, I anticipate good things and miracles.  If I am looking for these things, they tend to materialize.

Today I am grateful for all of you here at Lovefraud.  Read more... (591 words, 0 images, estimated 2:22 mins reading time)

This week I’ve been inspired by another motivational quote that I hadn’t seen for a while:

”What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

And it got me thinking. Looking back over my own experiences of abusive people, I realize that I believed words over actions. That because the things they were doing were so divorced from the story I was being told, I decided that I must have misunderstood. It must be me who is misinterpreting the situation. It must be because I’m giving out mixed messages. Heck, perhaps it’s just that I’m asking too much – perhaps I just need to be grateful for what I have and be more understanding of the other person’s point of view?  Read more... (1514 words, 1 image, estimated 6:03 mins reading time)

In a sensational case from New York City, Shele Danishefsky Colvin, a wealth manager for UBS, was found dead in her bathtub in 2009. At the time, she was in the midst of a contentious divorce and custody battle with her husband, Roderick Colvin. Her death occurred the day before she was to go to her attorney to cut him out of her will. Last month, the Manhattan government office that handles estate disputes, filed a wrongful death civil suit against Colvin, to block him from inheriting Danishefsky’s money. And that’s just the beginning of the story. Read:

Ex-husband accused of strangling wealth manager wife to death in civil suit, on ABCNews.go.com.

Judge blocks Roderick Colvin from slain wife Shele Colvin’s $1.6 life insurance payout; orders hearing, on NYDailynews.com.  Read more... (153 words, 0 images, estimated 37 secs reading time)

Joe Paterno, the legendary Penn State football coach, has died.

I can’t help but wonder if the travesty of the last few months, with his former assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky, being charged with sexually molesting 10 young boys over 15 years, killed him.

I’m not an alumna of Penn State. (I am, however, an alumna of Syracuse University, with its own scandal of an assistant basketball coach allegedly molesting boys.) Still, I hate to see the storied career of Joe Paterno forever blackened by the malevolent behavior of one man, if that proves to be the case.

Some people argue that Paterno had to know what was going on. They argue that Paterno was so concerned about his legacy, the reputation of his football program and Penn State University, that he was willing to turn a blind eye to the behavior of Jerry Sandusky.  Read more... (585 words, 0 images, estimated 2:20 mins reading time)

Brian Wonsom, 15, of Maryland was sentenced to 85 years in prison for killing and sexually assaulting his teacher. He was 13 at the time of the crimes. Wonsom was diagnosed as a sociopath. According to Fox News:

Prosecutors say doctors who examined the teen found him to be sane, but wicked.

“Oh yeah, completely without being mentally ill,” Prosecutor Wes Adams said. “He exhibited no remorse, childhood onset anti-social personality disorder. That’s not criminally insane, that’s dangerous.”

Read 15-year-old Maryland boy sentenced 85 years for killing teacher, on FoxNews.com.

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)

The Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia wrecked a few days ago and early reports said that it had hit some rocks. Quickly though, reports came out that the captain, Francesco Schettino, had driven the ship closer than normal to those rocks on the way out of port in order to show off the ship to the residents. An article from the New York Times gives more details.

More bodies found on ship, as transcripts reveal rebuke to captain

Interviews from some of the over 4,020 passengers of the liner stated in news reports that it was “like the Titanic.”  Read more... (814 words, 0 images, estimated 3:15 mins reading time)