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Author Archive: O.N.Ward

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Don’t try to understand their lies, because sociopaths ARE the lie
By February 21, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Don’t try to understand their lies, because sociopaths ARE the lie

Photo by Tigger11th

Photo by Tigger11th

Editor’s note: This comment was posted by the Lovefraud reader “Stargazer” a few weeks ago. Readers have asked that it be highlighted as a post.

By Stargazer

You can try endlessly to figure out why a sociopath lies, but you can never quite grasp it because the motives are not really human as we know it. Sociopaths themselves ARE the lie. They lie because they lie because they lie. They lie because they can. They lie because it’s fun. They lie because they want something in the moment. They lie because to them a lie has same value as telling the truth. Truth has no inherent virtue to them. And they mistakenly assume that because they lie, everyone lies. It is just a way of life to them.

Identifying and recovering from psychological abuse
By February 20, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Identifying and recovering from psychological abuse

Healing from Hidden_72dpiBook Review: Healing from Hidden Abuse, by Shannon Thomas, LCSW

Review by Donna Andersen

Mind games — everyone who has tangled with a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist or other exploiter knows them. The sociopath makes a statement, and then denies ever saying the words. You call out the sociopath’s bad behavior, and it’s all turned around on you. And the lies — well, the objective of lies is to poison your perceptions.

The more formal term for this destructive behavior is psychological abuse. And now there’s a book that explains exactly what psychological abuse is, why perpetrators engage in it, and the steps of recovery.

Healing from Hidden Abuse —A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse, was written by Shannon Thomas, LCSW. It’s the first book I’ve seen that specifically addresses the mind games played by disordered individuals.

 
Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, holding free online chat 3/5/17 at 8 pm EDT
By February 19, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, holding free online chat 3/5/17 at 8 pm EDT

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, offers FREE online chat support group.  Mary Ann GlynnExperience the support of people who know!  Join our free online live chat support group next Sunday night, March 5, 2017 at 8 pm EDT at www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com.  Share your struggles and get feedback, support, and hope from others who get it.  The group is professionally run.  

Here’s how to join:

At 8 pm come to the site and scroll down the home page to the Services section. Click on the green highlighted “live chat support group,” and you will be brought to the chat room as a Guest#.  When the chat room is not open that link will take you to a page with info on the next group.  Hope to see you there!

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Romance Scams Part 4: Fake dating apps and malware
By February 19, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Romance Scams Part 4: Fake dating apps and malware

Photo by Pat138241

Photo by Pat138241

Here’s yet another take on the dangers of online dating: The website Information Security Buzz reports that a number of fake dating apps have been created specifically to record your private data. And some dating sites have spread malware and malicious content.

So if you’re involved with online dating, not only do you need to worry about suitors using fake profiles to steal your heart and your money, but you also need to worry about your computer being infected with a nasty virus.

The risks associated with online dating just don’t quit.

The ins and outs of online love scams, on InformationSecurityBuzz.com.

 
Romance Scams Part 3: Malaysia busts four love scam syndicates and arrest 27 perps
By February 18, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Romance Scams Part 3: Malaysia busts four love scam syndicates and arrest 27 perps

Police from Malaysia and Singapore arrested 27 Internet love scammers in a joint operation on February 6-8. The criminals — including 11 Nigerians and 14 women — were members of four different crime syndicates.

These thieves of hearts and money cheated 108 people in neighboring countries out of $4.9 million.

All the syndicates were masterminded by Nigerians who entered Malaysia on student visas, according to David Chew, director of the Singapore police Commercial Affairs Department.

Romance scams cost Australians more money than any other form of cheating, said the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission. The most likely victims are aged 45 and older.

Saint Valentine’s Day massacre: Australia, Malaysia, Singapore on love scam alert, on SCMP.com.

Malaysia-Singapore Internet love scam syndicates crippled, 27 arrested, on TheStar.com.my.


Romance Scams Part 2: U.S. victims lost more than $230 million online in 2016
By February 17, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Romance Scams Part 2: U.S. victims lost more than $230 million online in 2016

Almost 15,000 complaints of romance scams or confidence fraud were reported to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center in 2016. Victims of these crimes lost more than $230 million.

In Texas alone, victims lost more than $16 million in romance scams.

Who is running these scams? In many cases, says FBI Special Agent Christine Beining, the perpetrators are organized crime gangs. Why? It’s an easy and lucrative crime. Criminals can often remain anonymous and beyond the reach of authorities. That’s why it’s on the rise.

Romance Scams – Online impostors break hearts and bank accounts, on FBI.gov.

Being With A Sociopath Is Like Being In A Cult
By February 16, 2017 1 Comments Read More →

Being With A Sociopath Is Like Being In A Cult

 

Husband Liar SociopathEvery week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 39: Past The Point Of Rescue (Hal Ketchum)

Secretly, I hoped that Paul would just pick up and leave or be killed in a plane crash or in a car accident on one of those dark nights he came home late from a business trip or “working at the office.”

By February 15, 2017 0 Comments Read More →

Romance Scams Part 1: Canadians lose $17 million in 2016

Looking for love online is dangerous — and in honor of Valentine’s Day, law enforcement agencies around the world tried to remind citizens of that. The first of three articles Lovefraud will be posting on the issue comes from Canada.

Nearly 750 Canadians reported that they lost money in Internet romance scams last year, totaling $17 million, according to CTVNews.ca. But the Royal Canadian Mounted Police believe only about 5 percent of cases are actually reported — so the money lost is likely much higher.

Sgt. Guy Paul Larocque says that most of the money stolen is never recovered. According to CTVNews.ca:

Larocque added that these scams are often executed by professionals based in other countries, who may also be working with organized crime. “They’re doing that purposely to make it more difficult for law enforcement to be able to get to them,” he said. “It is not somebody just playing behind the computer.”

For Valentine’s Day: 8 differences between sociopathic “love” and real love
By February 14, 2017 7 Comments Read More →

For Valentine’s Day: 8 differences between sociopathic “love” and real love

Terry Kelly and Donna Andersen at the theater.

Terry Kelly and Donna Andersen at the theater.

Yes, there is love after the sociopath.

I divorced my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, in 2000. A little more than a year later, I met Terry Kelly. We dated for a few years, got to know each other, and then married.

Terry and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary. I can honestly say that I am as happy and in love as I was on our wedding day.

What’s different about love with a normal, caring person, and “love” with a sociopath? Just about everything.

1.  Real love is peaceful

I don’t have the stress, drama and doubt that I felt while married to the sociopath. Instead, with Terry, I feel calm and content.

2. Real love is supportive

My sociopathic ex-husband was demanding — and indifferent to how his demands affected me. Now when I need help, caring, or just someone to talk to, my husband is there.

Identifying sociopathic behavior is easy; giving advice is hard
By February 13, 2017 3 Comments Read More →

Identifying sociopathic behavior is easy; giving advice is hard

sad and stressed womanJust about every day, Lovefraud receives e-mail from readers who are looking for answers about confusing, contradictory and abusive behavior exhibited by people in their lives. The new readers don’t understand what they are dealing with; they just tell, either in a few paragraphs or lengthy compositions, their stories. The e-mails describe some or many of the following behaviors:

  • Pathological lying
  • Pity plays
  • Shallow emotions
  • Devalue and discard
  • Cheating or promiscuity
  • Addiction to drugs or alcohol
  • Controlling demands
  • Financial irresponsibility
  • Manipulation of children
  • Broken promises
  • Claims of “you made me do it”
  • Pleas of “I’ll never do it again”

The readers ask, “Am I involved with a sociopath?”

For those of us who now know what sociopathic behavior looks like, it is apparent that the answer is yes—or that at least the readers are describing sociopathic traits.