Donna Andersen

A psychologist and university researcher is seeking people to participate in a survey on toxic and deceptive relationships. His study called, Understanding toxic breakups: Creating a recovery source. The researcher is from Gitam University in India, which was inspired by the ideals of Mahatma Gandi. The research is being conducted in English. Here is the announcement. Call for survey participants Dear Lovefraud Community, We are reaching out to gather vital insights on the reality of toxic and deceptive relationships. While this research focuses on the experiences of young adults, the wisdom of this community is invaluable in helping us understand these patterns. We are …

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Sociopaths view you, and all other people, as objects to be used. They want something, and they believe that your purpose in life is to deliver it. But how, exactly, do they get you to do what they want? Here are seven sociopath strategies for making demands. In the beginning of your involvement, of course, sociopaths typically sweet talk you into going along with what they want. They work to convince you that it’s a really, really good idea, or it will be really, really fun, or they really, really need it. Then, when you agree, they can’t stop thanking you. But once sociopaths feel that you are sufficiently under their control, that all stops. The niceties go away and they simply …

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Almost everyone who is targeted by a sociopath in a romantic relationship experiences love bombing — over-the-top attention and affection. In my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud — 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, Red Flag #4 is love bombing. When they're in full seduction mode, sociopaths want to be with you all the time, and if they're not physically with you, they want to be in constant communication with you. They proclaim their love — quickly, frequently and persistently. Most of us interpret this ceaseless devotion as an indication that our new partner is truly smitten. But it's not love — it's love bombing. Unlike true love, love bombing is insincere. It is not an …

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UPDATED FOR 2026. Coercive control is a pattern of assault, threats, humiliation, intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish or frighten the victim. Where does this behavior come from? A Lovefraud reader sent me an article by Dr. Emma Katz, who describes herself as a “globally respected expert in coercive control, domestic violence and domestic abuse.” I invite you to read the article: She didn’t “pick wrong.” Society failed by creating millions of abusive men. In her article, Katz says there are so many abusers in the world that “we need to stop blaming women for ‘ignoring red flags’ when men turn out to be controlling and abusive partners.” I listened to Katz …

Asking the wrong question about coercive controllersRead More

Here’s a fact that many people have a hard time wrapping their brains around: Sociopaths exploit everyone in their lives. On Lovefraud, we spend a lot of time talking about how sociopaths seduce caring, unsuspecting people into romantic relationships. Then, once they’re hooked, sociopaths treat them with unbelievable meanness and cruelty. Well, guess what. Sociopaths do that to everyone — family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and even, sometimes, random strangers. They are equal opportunity manipulators.  Definition of a sociopath First of all, whom are we talking about? My friend and colleague, Dr. Liane Leedom, defines a sociopath as “someone who preys on …

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When you finally realize that everything the sociopath told you was a lie, and your whole involvement was nothing but exploitation, you’re crushed. The last thing you need is people criticizing you for believing the lies —but they do. Today I’ll offer five realities to help you when you’re judged for believing the sociopath. I know what it’s like to be judged. It just happened to me. I’ve been talking about my marriage to a sociopathic con man for years. Three times, I’ve told my story a reality TV show. The latest series was called Love, Honor, Betray, and it recently became available on HBO Max and Hulu. My story is Episode 6 and is called, Too Good to …

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