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Love Fraud
How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, by Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com
How do you recover from the devastation of a sociopath?
Donna Andersen thought she'd found the man of her dreams. James Alwyn Montgomery, originally of Sydney, Australia, proclaimed his love and proposed marriage. He painted a glistening picture of their life together—entrepreneurial success, social standing, a happy family.
The picture turned out to be a mirage, and it cost Donna almost everything—her money, her business, her sense of self.
How did this happen? And how could she overcome it?
In Love Fraud, Donna bares her soul and tells the complete, highly personal story. She reveals why she was vulnerable to the con artist's scam. She relates the promises Montgomery made, and her confusion as she began to realize that they were lies. When Donna discovers the shocking truth—much more sordid than she ever imagined—her profound sense of betrayal and anger is palpable.
At that point, Donna could have crumbled. Instead, she chose to fight. Love Fraud describes how Donna teamed up with Montgomery's other victims to pursue him with every tool they had—legal and not-so-legal.
The main battle, however, was internal. Donna reveals her anguish and emotional pain. How could she have been so stupid? Why did this happen to her? But as she struggled to rebuild her life, much to her surprise, she learned that the entire ordeal had a spiritual dimension. Donna takes the reader along with her as she gradually becomes aware of the real purpose of the experience—releasing traumas of the past so that she could find a true, lasting love.
Love Fraud is written with lush description and gripping tension of a novel. But it is a true story, a story of one woman's journey from outrageous betrayal to peace and contentment. For anyone who has suffered the treachery of a sociopath, Love Fraud explains how it happens and why it happens. The book proves there is a reason for the pain, and a path to recovery. It is a beacon of hope.
If involvement with a sociopath has left you financially devastated and you cannot afford to buy this book, please request that your local public library purchase it. Anderly Publishing offers a special discount for libraries. Download this information sheet and bring it to your library.
Libraries, bookstores and other retailers: To purchase Love Fraud from the publisher, please contact terry@anderlypublishing.com.
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Red Flags of Love Fraud
10 signs you're dating a sociopath, by Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com
You've met someone new—someone charming, charismatic and sexy, who has so much in common with you! Oh, sometimes the story doesn't quite add up, and you feel a little rushed, but this person is head over heels in love with you! Calling all the time! Sending texts and emails! Already talking about forever!
Is it love—or predation?
Red Flags of Love Fraud — 10 signs you're dating a sociopath, the second book about sociopaths by Donna Andersen, has the answers.
This book explains how sociopaths target and pursue romantic relationships, which are always exploitative relationships. The information is based on more than 2,600 cases that Donna has collected through Lovefraud.com, and on the results of two Internet surveys completed by Lovefraud readers who have loved and lived with these human predators.
Inside the book:
Chapter 1 - The Red Flags of Love Fraud
Chapter 2 - What is a sociopath?
Chapter 3 - Sociopaths are everywhere
Chapter 4 - Vulnerable to a sociopath
Chapter 5 - The sociopathic seduction
Chapter 6 - Sociopathic sex and bonding
Chapter 7 - The reality of the relationship
Chapter 8 - Escaping the sociopath
Chapter 9 - Protecting yourself from predators
Red Flags of Lovefraud will be available to Lovefraud readers in Spring 2012, with full distribution in the summer. If you'd like to be notified of our special introductory offer, sign up today. (Don't worry - you won't receive any emails about the book until the offer is available.)
NOTE: If you already receive Lovefraud newsletters, you can sign up for the Red Flags of Love Fraud mailing list by updating your profile. Just click the link below and follow the instructions.
Spiritual lessons from my life with a serial killer, by Travis F. Vining
How do you recover from the most unimaginable of circumstances? The author of this book, Travis F. Vining, had a sociopath for a father. In fact, his father was the worst kind of sociopath—a serial killer. And for many years, the father exerted enormous control over Vining, essentially making his son into his accomplice.
Of course, when Vining was young, he didn’t know that his father was a sociopath. Vining idolized his father—the man was cool. He was strong. He was tough. Still, even as a child, Vining had a sense of unease—and recurring nightmares.
As Vining grew, he realized that what his father was doing was wrong, and what he was doing to assist him was wrong. His father was finally arrested, and Vining coped by forcing his memories of what happened from his mind.
But for years, Vining suffered physical symptoms that he couldn’t explain—until the memories came flooding back. Then he had to figure out how to recover. Although he had always doubted that God was even real, the time came when, out of desperation, Vining asked for God’s help—and received it.
Travis Vining explains how his personal relationship with God has lead to his healing. His book is a message of hope and comfort for anyone who grew up with a sociopathic parent, or anyone seeking spiritual assistance in recovering from a sociopathic relationship.
The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us, by Robert D. Hare, Ph.D.
For a clear, concise and easy-to-understand description of the psychopathic personality, this is the book to read. Dr. Robert Hare explains, in layman's language, the traits and behaviors of the psychopath, a person with no heart, no conscience and no remorse.
Dr. Hare uses the term psychopath, although other mental health professionals use the words "sociopath" or "antisocial personality disorder." Regardless of the label applied, if you're involved with one, in these pages you'll recognize the behaviors.
First, Dr. Hare describes the key symptoms of psychopathy, which often, but not always, leads to a life of crime. Many psychopaths cheat, lie and manipulate without ever coming in contact with the criminal justice system. They have jobs. They get married. They go to church. But they are still destructive to the people around them.
That's why it's important to be able to recognize these predators—they can be anywhere, and often blend easily into society. By reading Without Conscience, you'll be able to recognize them before it's too late.
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The Gift of Betrayal
How to Heal Your Life When Your World Explodes, by Eve A. Wood, M.D.
Dr. Eve Wood is a practicing psychiatrist and an author of motivational books. When, after 27 years of marriage, she discovered that her own husband led a double life, she had to decide how to respond.
Dr. Wood chose to learn from the betrayal experience and use it as an opportunity to create the life she always wanted. Then, she wrote the book that she wished she could have read when she was going through her trauma.
Dr. Wood identifies 14 key lessons for women who have been betrayed, and writes a chapter on each of them. They include:
You have a choice: Do you seize your power or become the victim?
Could you have been married to (or involved with) a sociopath?
Take action to create the life you really want
Stay present to the gift of the moment
The Gift of Betrayal is written for women who have been betrayed by men. Dr. Wood specifically emphasizes that if the man was a sociopath, the only way to heal is to leave the relationship. Then, she offers solid advice for recovering from the experience, moving forward and becoming free at last.
Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, By Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D.
Why is it so difficult to leave and get over someone who has deceived, manipulated, drained and abused you? You know this person is toxic—why do you long for him or her?
The answer may be a betrayal bond.
A betrayal bond is a highly addictive attachment to someone who has hurt you. These bonds may be formed or strengthened due to trauma, which occurs when danger, risk, fear or anxiety is present. You may be experiencing this if you:
Obsess about people who have hurt you and they are long gone
Continue to seek contact with people whom you know will cause you further pain
Go overboard to help people who have been destructive to you
Again and again trust people who have proven to be unreliable
Often, betrayal bonds in a person’s past make them susceptible to more abuse in the future. This book lays out a step-by-step program for discovering the roots of a betrayal bond, then confronting and ultimately healing it.
A Guide to Overcoming Your Child's Genetic Connection to Antisocial Behavior, Addiction and ADHD, by Liane J. Leedom, M.D.
If you've realized, to your horror, that you've had a child with a sociopath, what do you do? Research shows that the traits that can lead to sociopathy are highly genetic. How do you prevent your child from growing up to be another sociopath?
This was exactly the situation faced by Dr. Liane Leedom, a board-certified psychiatrist. When her son was six months old, she realized that his father had the personality disorder. She spent the next three years researching the scientific literature, learning how sociopathy develops, and how to prevent it.
The result is this book, Just Like His Father? In it, Dr. Leedom explains how to nurture the at-risk child. The key is being appropriately responsive to the child, which will enhance your child's ability to love. Dr. Leedom provides practical guidance for every stage of a child's life, from birth through the teenage years.
Even if your child is not at risk, the book offers excellent parenting advice to help your child grow up to be healthy and happy.
Overcoming the Devastation of Legal Abuse Syndrome
Warning: Protracted litigation can be hazardous to your health, by Karin Huffer, M.S., M.F.T.
"Unlike violent crime, deceptive assaults quietly wound that very sacred, inner place which is the essence of the self," author Karin Huffer writes. "Although the attack is invisible, it is as brutal as violent assault."
Then, after a victim has experienced this type of deadening assault, the "justice" system makes it worse.
Opposing lawyers purposely deny the truth, delay cases and attempt to deplete the victim's resources, and the victim's own attorney fails to provide adequate representation. Court bureaucrats lose information; judges don't bother to discern the real facts. Some "professionals" working in the legal system are blatantly corrupt. For the victim, it is a formula for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Legal Abuse System helps victims overcome the pain caused by their psychological reaction to profound and prolonged injustice. It explains eight steps to recovery—how to transform yourself from victim to veteran.
Even if you aren't involved in a legal battle, the eight steps to recovery listed this book can help you move past the deception and devastation of a run-in with a sociopath.
