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Lovefraud Blog

By February 15, 2017 0 Comments

Romance Scams Part 1: Canadians lose $17 million in 2016

Looking for love online is dangerous — and in honor of Valentine’s Day, law enforcement agencies around the world tried to remind citizens of that. The first of three articles Lovefraud will be posting on the issue comes from Canada.

Nearly 750 Canadians reported that they lost money in Internet romance scams last year, totaling $17 million, according to CTVNews.ca. But the Royal Canadian Mounted Police believe only about 5 percent of cases are actually reported — so the money lost is likely much higher.

Sgt. Guy Paul Larocque says that most of the money stolen is never recovered. According to CTVNews.ca:

Larocque added that these scams are often executed by professionals based in other countries, who may also be working with organized crime. “They’re doing that purposely to make it more difficult for law enforcement to be able to get to them,” he said. “It is not somebody just playing behind the computer.”

By February 14, 2017 7 Comments

For Valentine’s Day: 8 differences between sociopathic “love” and real love

Terry Kelly and Donna Andersen at the theater.

Terry Kelly and Donna Andersen at the theater.

Yes, there is love after the sociopath.

I divorced my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, in 2000. A little more than a year later, I met Terry Kelly. We dated for a few years, got to know each other, and then married.

Terry and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary. I can honestly say that I am as happy and in love as I was on our wedding day.

What’s different about love with a normal, caring person, and “love” with a sociopath? Just about everything.

1.  Real love is peaceful

I don’t have the stress, drama and doubt that I felt while married to the sociopath. Instead, with Terry, I feel calm and content.

2. Real love is supportive

My sociopathic ex-husband was demanding — and indifferent to how his demands affected me. Now when I need help, caring, or just someone to talk to, my husband is there.

By February 13, 2017 4 Comments

Identifying sociopathic behavior is easy; giving advice is hard

sad and stressed womanJust about every day, Lovefraud receives e-mail from readers who are looking for answers about confusing, contradictory and abusive behavior exhibited by people in their lives. The new readers don’t understand what they are dealing with; they just tell, either in a few paragraphs or lengthy compositions, their stories. The e-mails describe some or many of the following behaviors:

  • Pathological lying
  • Pity plays
  • Shallow emotions
  • Devalue and discard
  • Cheating or promiscuity
  • Addiction to drugs or alcohol
  • Controlling demands
  • Financial irresponsibility
  • Manipulation of children
  • Broken promises
  • Claims of “you made me do it”
  • Pleas of “I’ll never do it again”

The readers ask, “Am I involved with a sociopath?”

For those of us who now know what sociopathic behavior looks like, it is apparent that the answer is yes—or that at least the readers are describing sociopathic traits.

By February 12, 2017 0 Comments

Valentine’s Day help for creating the happy, loving relationship you deserve

 

Protect-your-heart-300x200If you’re the survivor of a toxic relationship, here’s a lifeline for moving forward and creating the best life possible.

This week, clinical sociologist Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW, is offering Lovefraud readers her annual Valentine’s Day special event.

Lovefraud readers can access four digital books at specially discounted rates from February 13 to February 15.

The Kindle edition of The Five Step Exit: Skills You Need to Leave a Psychopath, Narcissist or Other Toxic Partner and Recover Your Happiness Now, is available during this promotion for 99 cents.

The Kindle edition of The Wise Lesbian Guide to Getting Free From Crazy-Making Relationships and Getting on With Your Life is available during this promotion for 99 cents.

Both of these books can be found here:

Dr. Amber Ault on Amazon.com

Two newly released brief books focused on toxic relationship dynamics are available for free during his same period:

By February 11, 2017 14 Comments

Conman scams 15 women he met on dating sites out of $360,000

con manJohn Edward Taylor, 46, pretended to be a billionaire and stole up to $360,000 from 15 women he met on dating sites, including eHarmony, Match and Seeking Arrangements.

Taylor has been running his scam for five years. He was arrested at a country club in Yardley, Pennsylvania, in June 2016. Police believe he was living out of his car at the time.

He faces up to 30 years in prison for wire fraud, bank fraud, identity theft, and more charges.

Conman claiming to be a billionaire scams 15 women out of at least $360,000 after meeting them on dating sites, on DailyMail.co.uk.

Posted in: Cases, Uncategorized
By February 10, 2017 0 Comments

Monday: Webinar on understanding narcissistic abuse

 

Breakup Of A Couple With Bad Guy And Sad GirlfriendLovefraud Continuing Education will feature a webinar on Monday, February 13, called, Understanding and recognizing narcissistic abuse.

The two-hour program will be presented by Tiffany Kettermann, LPC, and  is geared towards mental health professionals. Psychologists and social workers can earn two continuing education credits.

But I think anyone who has been involved with a narcissist or sociopath, and wants to understand what happened, can benefit from this program. If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, or have children with a narcissistic partner or former partner, you will be especially interested in Tiffany’s explanation of how narcissists affect family dynamics.

Here are more webinar highlights:

  • What exactly do we mean by narcissistic abuse?
  • The narcissistic abuse cycle, and how it differs from the domestic violence cycle
  • Family dynamics when one parent is narcissistic
  • Tactics of narcissistic abuse: gaslighting, projection and rage
By February 9, 2017 0 Comments

Sociopaths Lack Empathy—Even For Their Own Children

Husband Liar SociopathEvery week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 38B:

By now, I hope you are catching on to sociopath math and can predict Paul’s reaction to arriving late with Daniel’s birthday pizza.

“But I just got here, and I cut my day short to get the pizza,” Paul said.

“Paul,” I replied, “we have to leave or the kids will be late to practice. We’ll heat it up when we get back.”

“I never said I’d be able to get here earlier,” Paul said. (He did, but he just made things up. Or maybe he never uttered those exact words. Regardless—he lied.)

By February 8, 2017 6 Comments

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 2)

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Celia.” Names have been changed. Read Part 1.

His home loan

Out of the blue one day, probably two weeks after I had arrived, he had me sit on his lap, and was stroking my arm lovingly. He casually asked if when my home sold, I could put the proceeds into his home loan. I got the strangest twinge of panic inside me, and asked him why I would do that. He immediately threw me off his lap and became tense and argumentative.

To calm him down, I suggested we maybe buy a holiday home together along the coastline somewhere. He was not interested at all. Thinking back, he probably had a stinky credit record and would not be able to get a further home loan. He wanted to steal my money from me. No more was said about this but I am sure he plotted more revenge toward me. It began to feel like he hated me, but I did not want to believe that so told myself I was being silly.

By February 7, 2017 0 Comments

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 1)

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Celia.” Names have been changed.

Hi Donna,

I have been reading your blog for a few years now and although I have not made myself visible, I have been active reading all the stories and advice you have shared with everyone. Your blog created an awareness within myself of just what I had encountered, and why I felt so traumatised during and after the relationship. There were times I could not bring myself to read some of the stories, as it brought back so much of the trauma I was wanting to suppress.

My relationship was very short, about 6 months in total, but nevertheless, shattered my dreams and faith in some people. My trust was gone. There were also times I wanted to respond to stories, but felt too angry and knew I would not express myself in the correct manner. I was very emotional with high anxiety and depression that turned me into a person I hardly recognised.

By February 6, 2017 1 Comments

Love, sex, your brain and sociopaths

Young naked Man and woman in love are kissingEver since the beginning of recorded history, humans have been trying to understand and explain the mysteries of love and sex. Over the past few decades, scientists started using specialized equipment to measure physical arousal by attaching devices to private parts. More recently, they’ve been observing the most important romantic organ in the human body—the brain.

Forbes wrote about the research of Andreas Bartels, Ph.D., at the Imperial College of London. Bartels used a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine, which can capture images of brain activity, to pinpoint the areas of the brain that are activated by love.

Bartles did a study of 17 people who were madly in love. He had the test subjects look at photos of platonic friends and of their loved ones while he observed activity in their brains. The resulting images clearly showed that certain sections of the brain are stimulated by love.