Lovefraud Blog

By March 8, 2017 0 Comments

Chaos, destruction and murder – the philosophy of a sociopath

Socipathic eyesLovefraud received a letter from a woman who we’ll call Valerie. She met her husband, whom we’ll call Dylan, at age 18, and has been with him for seven years. She thought they were happy together in their wonderful home with their family of pets.

Suddenly Dylan started acting erratically. He said he didn’t want to be with Valerie any more. He picked fights. She asked Dylan to leave, but made it clear that she was willing to do whatever was necessary to help him. So he left, and wouldn’t tell her where he was. Eventually, Valerie’s intuition told her to check her husband’s Facebook page, where she found Dylan’s love letters to another woman.

Then Valerie found how Dylan described himself on another website. Here’s what he wrote:

By March 7, 2017 0 Comments

14 tactics used by coercive controllers in abusive relationships

Angry psychopath“Coercive control feels like being trapped in a cage and you can’t get out and you don’t know where to turn.” That’s how Dr. Lisa Aronson Fontes described this insidious form of domestic violence. She was one of several experts who spoke at a conference on coercive control in Suffolk, England on March 6, 2017.

Another expert, Dr. Evan Stark, said that around 25 percent of women in abusive relationships are never assaulted.

The program described 14 ways that abusers control their victims, from limiting contact with family and friends to constant phone calls, texts and emails.

‘It’s like being in a cult for one’: Read 14 tactics used by coercive controllers, on EADT.co.uk.

By March 6, 2017 1 Comments

9 control tactics in a classic story of sociopathic manipulation

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The following letter, written by a young woman whom we’ll call Chloe, is one of the most complete stories of psychological manipulation that I’ve ever seen yet. Chloe wrote this letter secretly while the sociopath she is living with was at the gym.

I met my boyfriend two years ago. I was 18; he was 33. He’s a photographer; we live on an island that is very small. He has lived here forever (10 years) and I had only been here a few months when I met him. Everybody, especially women on the island, adore him, he is THE BIGGEST charmer.

By March 4, 2017 0 Comments

Cops use fake dating profile to catch guy who beat up his girlfriend

Angry Blond ManWhen a woman from Astoria, New York, tried to break up with her boyfriend, he became violent. He punched her in the face with a nail in his hand.

Then he disappeared into a drug treatment program, where cops couldn’t find him because of privacy laws.

Then the guy posted a new dating profile on Plenty of Fish, which the victim saw. She alerted the police.

They set up a sting. A woman, who was actually an undercover cop, arranged to meet the alleged perpetrator at a Manhattan bar. He was arrested and charged with attempted murder.

Astoria cops use dating site to lure guy who beat up his girlfriend during breakup, on QNS.com.

Story supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Cases, Laws and courts
By March 3, 2017 14 Comments

‘See What A Great Guy I Am?’ A tactic abusers deploy – right under everyone’s nose



Editor’s note: This post was contributed by the Lovefraud reader who goes by “D2.”

The coffee shop filled quickly as people grabbed their caffeine fixes before heading to the office. I sat with my book and my latte, glancing around the room occasionally to rest my eyes and then refocusing on the page. As I looked up once again, I noticed one of the baristas conversing intently with a middle-aged man over by a cork board on a side wall. I couldn’t hear them over the din of the other customers, but they appeared to be discussing something tacked on the board.

Nothing interesting going on here…except something about this man snagged my attention, something about his body language. He was a little too “on,” trying a little too hard to be engaging and pleasant. It felt like one of those movie distraction scenes where the husband corners his wife in the living room when she’s come home early and makes loud, cheery conversation with her while the girl he’s been cheating on her with sneaks out the bedroom window behind them.

By March 2, 2017 5 Comments

Many Therapists Are Ignorant About Sociopaths


Husband Liar SociopathEvery week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 40B:

In the past, I would have taken it upon myself to eliminate the tension and apologized to Paul for doing something that upset him. Not this time. Would Paul accept any responsibility for his role in the absurd encounter? I had to find out.

“Paul, I was hurt when you yelled at me about the dog,” I said when I returned.

“You were the one yelling!”

“I would really appreciate an apology,” I said, standing my ground.

By March 1, 2017 1 Comments

Man kills first wife, serves time, then tortures second wife and kills 4 kids

Gregory Green

Gregory Green

“You are a con artist, you are a monster.” That’s what Faith Green told her husband, Gregory Green, who killed her four children and attempted to kill her.

Gregory Green, 50, of Dearborn Heights, Michigan, was sentenced to 47 years in prison for his crimes.

Gregory Green had served 16 years in prison for killing his pregnant first wife in 1991.

Burn in hell! Scarred wife confronts husband in court after he murdered their four children and slashed her face, on DailyMail.co.uk.

Gregory v. Green: Some things to know about dad who murdered his 4 kids, shot his wife then called 911, on GossipOnThis.com.


Posted in: Cases, Laws and courts
By February 28, 2017 3 Comments

Sociopaths are nothing but one-dimensional cartoon characters

Photo by Tigger11th

Photo by Tigger11th

Editor’s note: This comment was posted by the Lovefraud reader “Stargazer” a few weeks ago. Readers have asked that it be highlighted as a post.

By Stargazer

After the shock had worn off and I no longer took the lies personally, I became fascinated with sociopaths in general. I wanted to learn everything I could about them because I thought they were fascinating.

After a while, and after reading so many similar stories on Lovefraud, I found all the traits to be one-dimensional. It’s as if I were reading a novel that only skated on the surface of the characters – what they are doing, what they are wearing, etc., but never dipped below to examine their character or their motives. It became boring. I tried to scratch below the surface to see what the motivations were of sociopaths. All I saw was story after story of lies and deception with no real outcome except the life energy of the victims being sucked out of them.

By February 27, 2017 4 Comments

Psychopaths are naturally skilled at spotting potential victims

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When I was married to James Montgomery, who was later diagnosed as a psychopath, we once attended a local trade show together. We ran into a woman whom I didn’t know at all and James barely knew. After about one minute of conversation, James started offering to help her with some project that she was working on.

“What did you do that for?” I asked James after we continued on our way.


“Offer to help that woman. You hardly know her.”

“Do you know who she’s married to?” James asked. It was a man that he believed could possibly be useful to his plans.

Psychopaths are always on the lookout for people they might be able to manipulate. A study published by Canadian researchers seems to indicate they have an enhanced ability to spot and remember potential targets.

By February 26, 2017 2 Comments

San Diego district attorney to present seminar on ‘Romance Scams and Love Fraud’

Romance scamWow — a financial institution in the U.S. is finally taking romance scams seriously. On Wednesday, March 1, 2017, the San Diego County Credit Union will present a seminar called “Romance Scams and Love Fraud.”

The speaker is Paul Greenwood, San Diego County deputy district attorney. He will cover current scams, romance scams and ways to protect yourself.

If you’re in San Diego, California, you may want to stop by. It’s from 12-1 p.m. PT at the San Diego County Administration Center, 1600 Pacific Coast Highway. The event is free, and they’ll even serve you lunch!

SDCCU Financial Wellness Wednesdays presents free seminar on romance scams and love fraud, on CUinsight.com.