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Lovefraud Blog

By February 8, 2017 6 Comments

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 2)

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Celia.” Names have been changed. Read Part 1.

His home loan

Out of the blue one day, probably two weeks after I had arrived, he had me sit on his lap, and was stroking my arm lovingly. He casually asked if when my home sold, I could put the proceeds into his home loan. I got the strangest twinge of panic inside me, and asked him why I would do that. He immediately threw me off his lap and became tense and argumentative.

To calm him down, I suggested we maybe buy a holiday home together along the coastline somewhere. He was not interested at all. Thinking back, he probably had a stinky credit record and would not be able to get a further home loan. He wanted to steal my money from me. No more was said about this but I am sure he plotted more revenge toward me. It began to feel like he hated me, but I did not want to believe that so told myself I was being silly.

By February 7, 2017 0 Comments

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 1)

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Celia.” Names have been changed.

Hi Donna,

I have been reading your blog for a few years now and although I have not made myself visible, I have been active reading all the stories and advice you have shared with everyone. Your blog created an awareness within myself of just what I had encountered, and why I felt so traumatised during and after the relationship. There were times I could not bring myself to read some of the stories, as it brought back so much of the trauma I was wanting to suppress.

My relationship was very short, about 6 months in total, but nevertheless, shattered my dreams and faith in some people. My trust was gone. There were also times I wanted to respond to stories, but felt too angry and knew I would not express myself in the correct manner. I was very emotional with high anxiety and depression that turned me into a person I hardly recognised.

By February 6, 2017 1 Comments

Love, sex, your brain and sociopaths

Young naked Man and woman in love are kissingEver since the beginning of recorded history, humans have been trying to understand and explain the mysteries of love and sex. Over the past few decades, scientists started using specialized equipment to measure physical arousal by attaching devices to private parts. More recently, they’ve been observing the most important romantic organ in the human body—the brain.

Forbes wrote about the research of Andreas Bartels, Ph.D., at the Imperial College of London. Bartels used a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine, which can capture images of brain activity, to pinpoint the areas of the brain that are activated by love.

Bartles did a study of 17 people who were madly in love. He had the test subjects look at photos of platonic friends and of their loved ones while he observed activity in their brains. The resulting images clearly showed that certain sections of the brain are stimulated by love.

By February 4, 2017 0 Comments

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, holding a free online chat on Feb 12th at 8 pm EST

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, offers FREE online chat support group.  Mary Ann GlynnExperience the support of people who know!  Join our free online live chat support group next Sunday night, Feb 12, 2017 at 8 pm EDT at www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com.  Share your struggles and get feedback, support, and hope from others who get it.  The group is professionally run.  

Here’s how to join:

At 8 pm come to the site and scroll down the home page to the Services section. Click on the green highlighted “live chat support group,” and you will be brought to the chat room as a Guest#.  When the chat room is not open that link will take you to a page with info on the next group.  Hope to see you there!

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By February 4, 2017 6 Comments

After the sociopath, learning to trust again

Pensive woman

Weheartit

A Lovefraud reader posted the following comment awhile back:

I just have one question for everyone here. Does anyone trust people after these sick people did what they did to us? Unfortunately for me … I have run across a few of these sickos but NONE like my ex. Whoever I meet now I’m thinking to myself, who is this person really? Do they have a secret life like the Scott Petersons and Ted Bundys of this world? I don’t let my children out of my sight and I’m already training my kids and they all know the signs of a sociopath especially my girls. I feel like I’m in a prison sometimes in my mind as I try so hard but just can’t trust anyone.

By February 3, 2017 9 Comments

Convicted con artist Patrick Giblin again pleads guilty to scamming women

Patrick M. Giblin

Patrick M. Giblin

Patrick Giblin, 52, formerly of Ventnor, New Jersey, yesterday pleaded guilty to scamming more than 10 women out of $15,000 to $40,000.

Giblin did this between January 2013 and December 2014 — while on parole for previously scamming 132 women out of $320,241. Here’s Lovefraud’s original coverage of the story:

Patrick Giblin trolls phone dating lines, taking money from 132 women, on Lovefraud.com.

According to U.S. Attorney Paul J. Fishman, Giblin’s most recent adventures in phone scamming went like this:

From January 2013 to Dec. 16, 2014, Giblin allegedly posted advertisements and messages on telephone dating services throughout the United States. Giblin cultivated a telephone rapport with the women he spoke to on these services, falsely claimed that he would be relocating or travelling to the woman’s geographic area, and falsely represented that he wished to pursue a committed, romantic relationship with each woman.

By February 2, 2017 41 Comments

Sociopaths Lie Even When The Truth Would Work Just Fine

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 38A:

I always considered Paul honorable and honest, so it took me an embarrassingly long time for inconsistencies in his version of events to register as what they were—lies. I knew my husband had faults and, in all likelihood, had had an affair with Anne-Marie, but it never occurred to me that he was fundamentally dishonest and a chronic liar. But I could not escape the observation that Paul lied seamlessly about even the smallest things.

By February 1, 2017 1 Comments

Woman finds the ‘pickup artists’ who raped her — and bragged about it on the Internet

Tattooed hands of a criminal handcuffedA San Diego woman passed out in the apartment of some guys she just met in October 2013. She was raped. When she awoke, she went to the police.

Many rape cases end up being “he said, she said” situations, where the perpetrator claims that the sex was consensual. But this woman conducted her own Internet investigation. She found that the man who raped her, Alexander Markham Smith, 27, and his friend, Jonas Dick, 28, ran a business called “Efficient Pickup.”

The idea was to teach men how to have sex with as many women as possible.

To prove that their methods worked, Smith and Dick posted stories about their exploits — including a detailed account of the San Diego woman’s rape. It was enough to get them convicted.

Rape victim did her own detective work to find ‘pickup artists’ who assaulted her, on SanDiegoUnionTribune.com.

By January 31, 2017 0 Comments

7 Warning signs of a romance scam

boomers seniors onlineValentine’s Day is approaching. It’s a big day for romance — and romance scammers.

What are warning signs that a potential partner that you met online is, in reality, a con artist? A British financial company called Keeping It Simple compiled a list that includes:

  1. Can’t meet or chat on the phone
  2. Inconsistencies in their story
  3. Repetition — they can’t remember what they told to whom
  4. Wanting to chat via text/Whatsapp
  5. Sending emails to you with attachments — to give your computer a virus
  6. Asking you a lot of questions, but not answering any of yours
  7. Their picture is too perfect — movie star material

For more detail, see the Keeping It Simple report:

The Big Business of Online Dating Scams, on Kisbridgingloans.co.uk.

By January 30, 2017 0 Comments

Radical Acceptance — a path to true emotional healing after the devastation of a sociopath

Radical AcceptanceBook Review: Radical Acceptance — Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha, by Tara Brach.

Review by Donna Andersen

You realize, or at least suspect, that you have a sociopath in your life — that’s why you’re reading Lovefraud. You may still be in a state of shock — you never really understood that people like this actually existed. But they do; now what do you do?

Lovefraud is full of information and advice about escaping a sociopath and dealing with the fallout. Generally, recovery means moving forward along two paths. You can pursue both paths at the same time, and progress on one path helps you with the other one.

The first path is solving the practical problems the sociopath has caused, such as escaping safely, getting a divorce, rebuilding your finances, finding a new job — any of the myriad of ways that your day-to-day life needs to be restored.