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Lovefraud Blog

By March 31, 2017 0 Comments

New Lovefraud CE education site coming soon!

Middle-aged thoughtful woman using laptop at homeBig changes are coming for Lovefraud Continuing Education. We’re in the process of moving to a new course delivery platform, one that will be much easier to navigate and offer more advanced features.

Browsing and registering for courses will be much easier. And, every course will include a forum. You’ll be able to discuss the information and ask questions of the instructor and other learners, during the course and afterwards.

The new platform is extremely flexible and robust. Lovefraud instructors will be able to design just about any format we can think of, so we’ll be able to offer you information in a variety of formats.

Our original Lovefraud CE platform will shut down as of tomorrow, and the new one will be ready soon. Once it launches, everyone who purchased courses in the past will have the same access to the information as previously.

Watch this space for announcements, coming soon!

By March 30, 2017 0 Comments

“Could He/She Be A Sociopath?” Is A Question We Must Know To Ask

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 42: Writer’s Block

By March 29, 2017 1 Comments

Study says kids do better with fathers in the home – but doesn’t mention sociopathic fathers

Boy crying while sitting on the stairsResearchers at the London School of Economics say that children born to a single mother have better health, intelligence and social skills when their biological father lives with them.

Kids fare no better if a stepfather joins the family than they would if their mother stayed alone.

Many studies claim to “prove” that kids are better off when they live with both their mother and father. Unfortunately, these studies rarely determine if the father is disordered.

As Dr. Liane Leedom explains, living with a disordered parent is not good for kids at all. In fact, these kids can be seriously damaged.

But because of the cultural belief that “all kids should have two parents,” many well-meaning parents try to stay with disordered partners, when they and the kids would probably be better off escaping.

Posted in: Uncategorized
By March 28, 2017 0 Comments

Teacher Tad Cummins, 50, allegedly romances and abducts his student, 15

Tad Cummins is accused of kidnapping his student.

Tad Cummins is accused of kidnapping his student.

Tennessee authorities are searching for Elizabeth Thomas, 15, who they believed was kidnapped by her teacher, Tad Cummins, 50, on March 13.

Brent Cooper, district attorney for Maury County, Tennessee, says the two exchanged “romantic” and “troubling” emails.

The Thomas family attorney, Jason Whitley, said Elizabeth “is under his spell, and she is being controlled by him,” according to ABC News.

Authorities also said Cummings was researching “teen marriage” shortly before the two of them disappeared.

Teacher visited teen’s workplace days before alleged kid napping, sister says, on ABCNews.go.com.

 

 

 

Posted in: Uncategorized
By March 27, 2017 1 Comments

Game theory and the sociopath

Man Behind Bars

Shock. Total disbelief. Utter incomprehension. That’s what we feel upon finally realizing that when the sociopath cheated on us, blew through our money, twisted our emotions and messed with our minds, to him or her it was all just a sick, depraved game.

Sociopaths do not form emotional connections with other human beings. They do not experience love. They do not feel honor, altruism or concern for others. The words they speak and the actions they take have only one objective: getting what they want. To them, life is a game, and they want to win.

Game theory is a field of study that, according to Wikipedia, “attempts to mathematically capture behavior in strategic situations, in which an individual’s success in making choices depends on the choices of others.”

By March 26, 2017 23 Comments

Manipulative woman seduces her husband’s best friend, part 2

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Kirk.” Read Part 1.

Yesterday my best friend (the one whose wife is disordered), was seriously considering ending our friendship because his wife was torturing him off and on the night before telling him all the intimate details of our sexual affair and several hurtful and very personal comments I supposedly told her about him. These details were unsolicited and unwelcome, but soon he found himself wondering if these awful things she was saying could be true.

I know he was tired after a long day, trying to sleep and perhaps he just didn’t have the strength or the presence of mind to get away from her. Unfortunately, the poison she was injecting directly into his brain and his heart with her words was beginning to take effect. By the next day our usually fun and meaningful instant messages to one another were tainted with his defensive, drama-filled and even hurtful remarks and questions like, “How could you betray me like that?”

By March 25, 2017 0 Comments

Manipulative woman seduces her husband’s best friend, part 1

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Kirk.”

First let me say how much your videos really opened my eyes to how I was used and manipulated by someone I ended up trusting despite her poor track record in the past. Your video about “Love Bombing” was “spot-on.”

In late January, I started a separation process from my wife of 7 years where I’ve moved the majority of my personal possessions and my home office (for a part time business I run from our apartment) into the guest room of the house of my best friend of 6 years. I’ll call him “Tom” and his wife I’ll call “Mary.” If it wasn’t for this awkward position I’m in regarding my part-time living arrangement, this whole affair most likely may never have occurred.

By March 23, 2017 1 Comments

Sociopaths Slowly Dismantle Our Internal Compass

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 41C:

It was the first time in years I had known what I wanted, had gone about the decision the way I wanted, and had not let Paul convince me of what I should want. Knowing that I had not caved in to what Paul told me I should do was satisfying.

By March 22, 2017 0 Comments

How to avoid gold diggers

Spotting the Red Flags of Love Fraud

By Sally Anne Jackson

When I was growing up in the 1950s, I swooned over the 1956 Bing Crosby song, True Love.

While I give to you and you give to me
True love, true love
So on and on it will always be
True love, true love

This song shaped how I believed love really was.

For me, it was disillusioning beyond imagination when at the beginning of my freshman year at Radcliffe, I spent an evening in our dormitory’s lounge, listening to seven classmates talk. They were systematically paging through the catalogue of our Harvard freshmen classmates.

My classmates were assessing what the Harvard men we’d be meeting were likely to inherit.

“His father is giving him a million dollars for his 21st birthday,” said one blond, long-legged beauty, referring to one of the men in the catalogue.

By March 20, 2017 6 Comments

Making meaning of your betrayal by a sociopath

Woman with arms raised at sunset on the beachWhen we realize that we’ve been involved with a sociopath, and that person has callously betrayed us, we inevitably ask, “Why? Why did this happen to me?”

To help find the answer, one of the books that Lovefraud recommends is The Betrayal Bond—Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, by Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. The book explains the deep psychological wounds caused by trauma, and offers a way for us to identify and overcome abusive relationships that we may have experienced.

When I read the book, I was struck by what Carnes wrote on page 68:

My experience with survivors of trauma is that every journey of recovery depends on the survivor coming to a point where all that person has gone through means something.

I believe there is meaning in what we have experienced at the hands of sociopaths. Here it is: The object of the exercise is to force us to jettison mistaken beliefs about ourselves.

Posted in: Donna Andersen