Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Lana-Marie.
We met online. He was a perfect gentleman on our dates. We had several dates until he started talking about mind, body and spirit. (which meant sex to him) and I mentioned I do not have sex just to be having sex. That night he says let’s be boyfriend and girlfriend.
So we did become BF and GF. I assumed (stupid, but trusting, me) that he would take his dating profile down since now in a committed relationship. I took mine down and never looked again, until one day my GF called me and told me that she was just matched (online dating site) with him. AND that he was currently online searching.
Of, course I called him and he told me some bull story. He says he will take it down and not go on it again.
The very next day I see him back online searching. I texted him and he told me he was in a meeting and his profile was probably hacked and swore it was not him. Well, all this told me to beware.
Then I went on the hunt… I found two other online dating profiles of him on a different dating site than the one we met on. When confronted he told me that he gave a friend of his permission to open those accounts. He originally told me that a friend of his opened up the dating account that WE met on…that alone was weird.
All his dating profiles had different information about his age, birthday, children, living at home or away and the age range of whom he was looking for. His age went from 58 – 62 and he is really 68.
He lied about his birthday day….what happened was he kept changing his birth date on his dating profile. What he originally told me was false and then I saw online that his birthday was different than what he told me….then two weeks later that SAME profile is now showing yet again another birthday… When confronted about his birthday(s) he insisted again on one date of the birthday he originally told me…upon investigation I found his REAL birthday and age … 68
Then one night we were together he told me his sister died (I still do not know if this is true). Probably a ploy to get me in the “sympathy sack.” While he was “supposedly” back home in for the funeral of his sister, I saw him searching the online dating sites. While still away, and just after sending me a happy Valentine text he was again online searching. When asked he said “not me” I am grieving and why would I be online searching.
Finally I found him on two polyamory sites (friends with benefits). I saw that he joined those sites while we were supposedly together. I also saw that while we were together he joined the sexy singles group on valentines day. And many other single, awakenings, sex type sites.
He was doing this up to the last minute of our relationship…AND STILL LYING about it all. One lie became another lie and each lie grew larger and more hard to fathom. He finally said I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE, started crying and tried to work on my sympathy AGAIN.
He finally looked at me and said “YOU did nothing wrong,” “YOU have been nothing but good to me,” “It’s all me,” and he finally said “so, I guess this is it.”
He actually was totally busted on so many accounts. He barely showed remorse and all he could do was ask, “how did you get all this information?” (I’ll never tell) He called and texted me for one day after I walked away…the last text stating – “trust will make it right.”
I find it interesting that he rarely used the “I” pronoun meaning “trust I will make it right.” So texts remained very convoluted.
What is REALLY disheartening is that a short documentary was made about this man. How wonderful he is and what a service to his community he is. NOW he states they are making a movie about him…if this is true then no one knows what a fraud and fake and liar he really is.
AND Maybe he is taking his sickness way too far getting investors to invest in his “greatness.” Again maybe the movie is a lie too. Who will really know? I wish they could be warned about him.
He claims that his parent had a PhD in LOVE and that is who he learned from. He stated his father is deceased and I think his father would be rolling over in his grave if THIS is what he learned from them….I personally always want to come from trust….and I did trust – up to a certain extent.
If you have a nagging feeling in your gut – LISTEN TO IT. I did. Once doubt was planted in my mind I started doing my homework. And it was worth it.
For me, he did not win, I found out all about him and confronted him with his lies and falsehoods and at some point he had nothing to say. So, that’s my story in a nutshell.