Yes, there is love after the sociopath.
I divorced my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, in 2000. A little more than a year later, I met Terry Kelly. We dated for a few years, got to know each other, and then married.
Terry and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary. I can honestly say that I am as happy and in love as I was on our wedding day.
What’s different about love with a normal, caring person, and “love” with a sociopath? Just about everything.
1. Real love is peaceful
I don’t have the stress, drama and doubt that I felt while married to the sociopath. Instead, with Terry, I feel calm and content.
2. Real love is supportive
My sociopathic ex-husband was demanding — and indifferent to how his demands affected me. Now when I need help, caring, or just someone to talk to, my husband is there.
3. Real love is teamwork
I’m not the only one working; I’m not the only one carrying the burdens of life. My husband and I are in it together.
4. Real love is balanced
Yes, we face our ups and downs. And when either of us is down, the other is there to offer a boost. It’s a true give-and-take.
5. Real love is sexy
Sex with the sociopath was exciting in the beginning — and then became rote. With Terry, along with the physical pleasure I feel a deep, soulful connection, a much more powerful experience.
6. Real love is companionship
My ex traveled a lot (seeing other women, I later learned). Quite frankly, I was happy to see him go. When Terry travels — or even goes to work for the day — I look forward to his return.
7. Real love is happy
When I was with the ex, I was miserable. Now, even as Terry and I deal with day-to-day problems, I feel light and joyful.
8. Real love is easy
I no longer struggle in my marriage. I know I can trust and depend on my husband, and he knows he can count on me. We share, we laugh, we travel the road of life together, hand-in-hand.
We offer this to you, Lovefraud readers, as a message of hope. With your own healing, anything is possible.
Love to you all,
Donna and Terry