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Lovefraud Blog

By December 15, 2016 1 Comments

“You’re Too Sensitive”—Just One Way Sociopaths Shirk Responsibility

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 35A: The Weeds Always Win

When Paul and Anne-Marie found themselves with some available time, they hung out a shingle for their own consulting company—A-M-P Consulting Solutions. About this time we discovered that, although Daniel was an exceptionally bright child, he had some severe learning challenges and developmental delays that would mean years of work with specialists, daily therapy at home, and bi-weekly professional help. I orchestrated all of his diagnoses, care, and therapy. Paul never got involved and never seemed all that concerned. I assumed Paul was just too busy starting his own company, that he completely trusted me to take care of Daniel’s needs, and that he was calm in the face of adversity. Not knowing that Paul was and is a sociopath, how would I have ever attributed his behavior to total indifference regarding the welfare of his own son?

By December 14, 2016 89 Comments

I will never forget how he looked at me – I felt I was standing in front of the devil

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we’ll call Gemma, who lives in England. Names have been changed.

In August 2015 I was contacted on one of the pen pal websites by a guy named Brad, from a village in Michigan. Brad is a 35 year old veteran who works part time as a mechanic. He is also a village council trustee, with ambitions to become a village president one day.

We started talking on a daily basis, He was very charming and entertaining and seemed very reliable, always responding to my messages almost instantly.

Brad told me that he was married for the second time and his wife was pregnant. He said that although his current wife was better than the first one, he wasn’t happy and has been thinking about divorce for some time. In fact he got married to her because “there was nothing better available.”

By December 13, 2016 0 Comments

Listen to Donna Andersen on BlogTalkRadio

Donna Andersen

Donna Andersen

Do you want to know more about the Red Flags of Love Fraud? On Friday, I’ll be explaining them on the Internet radio show, A Fine Time for Healing, hosted by Randi G. Fine.

Here are the warning signs that your partner may be a sociopath:

1. Charisma and charm
2. Sudden soul mates
3. Sexual magnetism
4. Love bombing
5. Blames others for everything
6. Lies and gaps in the story
7. Intense eye contact
8. Moves fast to hook up
9. Pity play
10. Jekyll and Hyde personality

You can listen to, and join, the conversation on Blog Talk Radio. Just click the link below:

Red Flags of Love Fraud with Author Donna Andersen

If you miss the show, just click the link afterwards to hear the recording.

By December 12, 2016 0 Comments

Classic sociopathic father: Lies, manipulation, gaslighting, and finally the truth is revealed

A young woman who posts on Lovefraud as “Butterfly” first contacted me in August. She had recognized that her boyfriend was disordered. She also realized that her father was disordered, which set her up to tolerate the lying, cheating boyfriend.

We exchanged emails several times over the last few months. She asked excellent questions, and I made two “Letters to Lovefraud” videos to answer them, which are included in this post.

With her permission, I’ve reproduced our email exchange. Her experience illustrates the confusing and painful experience of a disordered parent — and how it affected her own relationship choices. And you won’t believe what she discovered in the end. It was the last straw.

Biological father


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By December 11, 2016 0 Comments

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, offers free online support chat Dec. 18th

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, offers FREE online chat support group.  Mary Ann GlynnExperience the support of people who know!  Join our free online live chat support group next Sunday night, Dec. 18th, 8 pm EDT at www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com.  Share your struggles and get feedback, support, and hope from others who get it.  The group is professionally run.  

Here’s how to join:

At 8 pm come to the site and scroll down the home page to the Services section. Click on the green highlighted “live chat support group,” and you will be brought to the chat room as a Guest#.  Hope to see you there!

Posted in: Uncategorized
By December 10, 2016 0 Comments

I had $100,000 ready to be put into his hands

Spath TalesLovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Genevieve.”

I connected with a boyfriend I was engaged to when I was 17. We knew each other since we were about 11.

He called me after his 2nd marriage broke apart. I was married (and still am), and after getting reacquainted with him, fell back in love with him.

I had no intentions of this happening, but he was filling a void. It was the honeymoon stage, the reminiscing from our teen years, and everything I thought we had in common.

I always suspected he had another woman and confronted him at least 5 times … of which he denied. He was very jealous (always was), showed ownership of me, and told me he always loved me on the first message he left me (which I saved). It could be true, since we broke up due to his family and not really us per se.

By December 9, 2016 3 Comments

To better protect victims, UK strengthens stalking laws

Jealous Woman Stalking Couple Of LoversFour years ago, a new stalking law enabled prosecutors in England and Wales to charge offenders with stalking, even when their behavior falls short of creating a fear of violence in the victim. The idea was to stop stalking behavior, especially in domestic violence cases, before it escalated.

Authorities have announced new orders that extends the law so that it protects people who are being stalked by strangers.

Police can apply to the courts for orders to make stalkers stay away from their victims, before the stalker has been convicted, or even arrested.

Stalking: New orders planned to give quick protection, on BBC.com.

New stalking legislation helps to bring thousands more prosecutions as CPS and ACPO launch protocol to improve service to stalking victims, on CPS.gov.uk.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

 

By December 8, 2016 1 Comments

Sociopaths Are Often Calm Under Pressure And Lie Seamlessly

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

 

Chapter 34: The Illusion of Hope

As a sociopath, Paul’s black, vacant soul is not capable of change, but as a good actor, he transformed his behavior quickly and profoundly. He just had to dust off a character he had already perfected—that of a doting companion. If he wanted me to continue as his stagehand, and if he wanted to avoid a divorce that was not on his terms and his timetable, he needed to put on a good show. He could do that, and he did.

By December 7, 2016 0 Comments

Reconnecting with my teen love, I was hooked — until he walked out

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we’ll call “JoLynn.”

I first dated my ex when I was 18. We split after 15 months but I was still in love with him many years later.

After a 22-year marriage, I found myself divorced. After a couple of casual boyfriends, I contacted my ex by carrying out an Internet search. I was just short of my 50th birthday.

He responded to my email and the relationship took off again, as if we had never been parted.

We lived about 140 miles away from each other but he soon came to see me. I was so in love, we made plans and I was told that his alcoholic wife was in the advanced stages of illnesses and would soon die.

The magic lasted well over 2 years, as we made plans and searched for a suitable house.

By December 6, 2016 5 Comments

Thailand: Cops bust possible $1.4 million Nigerian love scam racket

Thai Romance Scam

Thai police diagrammed how the romance scam they busted worked. (Jakraphan Nathanri, Bangkok Post)

I’m beginning to wonder if the biggest industry in Nigeria — and their biggest export — is romance fraud.

Authorities in Thailand arrested two Nigerian men, along with their Thai wives, for allegedly swindling a Thai woman who owned a rubber plantation out of 500,000 bhat (US$14,038).

When the suspects were arrested, police found a list of victims and bank passbooks that revealed more than 50 million bhat (US$1,403,804) had been transferred to their accounts. This is in a country where the average salary is US$385 per month.

I love the police diagram of the scam in the photo. I wish police all around the world took romance fraud this seriously.

Nigerian love scam busted, on Bankokpost.com.