I connected with a boyfriend I was engaged to when I was 17. We knew each other since we were about 11.
He called me after his 2nd marriage broke apart. I was married (and still am), and after getting reacquainted with him, fell back in love with him.
I had no intentions of this happening, but he was filling a void. It was the honeymoon stage, the reminiscing from our teen years, and everything I thought we had in common.
I always suspected he had another woman and confronted him at least 5 times … of which he denied. He was very jealous (always was), showed ownership of me, and told me he always loved me on the first message he left me (which I saved). It could be true, since we broke up due to his family and not really us per se.
About 6 months into the relationship, I felt him pulling away one week and pulling me closer another. His stories were becoming more inconsistent, he was always angry and seeking revenge against the world, he would admit he could make mistakes but would never fess up when he was caught in a lie.
These outbursts became more frequent. I started investigating because I was going to invest in some property opportunities with him. I had $100,000 ready to be put into his hands.
He put me under his bank account, just in case I wanted to stash some money since I was thinking of leaving my home someday. I never used the account. I closed out my name a few months after I opened it.
He asked me to put a car under my name for him, he needed $14,000 for a deal he was making and was short the money, he wanted me to put him under my medical insurance and he would pay his share, and the most recent request … we buy a plot together so we could be buried next to each other.
Funny, he is screwing other women here on Earth but when we are dead, he wants to spend eternity next to me??? Really???
I’m still married when all of this is going on. Not happily, of course, but still married.
By thoroughly investigating him, I found that he has another woman in who his new car was registered to, he had bought some properties under her name (it’s all over the web), so his ex-wife would not know of his investments since he was claiming almost no income, and he was vacationing with her (while asking me to get him better rates at hotels because of my connections).
Meanwhile, when he first contacted me 2 years ago, one of his opening statements to me when we first spoke was that he owned a condo. It never sat right with me. He had this woman way before I was re-introduced into his life (by him contacting me, not the other way around).
Out of the gate, a week into us talking again, he was telling me his goal was to make me his wife, which should have been the plan from the very beginning.
He asked what kind of house I liked to live in, where I wanted to live, and if I would just come to him. At first he said he would want my kids to live there as well. By the 3rd month, he wanted nothing to do with my kids.
I was one of the lucky ones. My intuitions were always in high gear. So luckily, I didn’t lose any money (even though I had opened a credit card for him but limited the dollar spend to $4,000 because that was all I was willing to lose if something went south).
Anyway, it now makes a lot of sense as to why his ex-wife doesn’t speak to him or let him see his 14-year-old child. His two other grown daughters (23 and 21) have not spoken to him or seen him in over 2 1/2 years. No surprise there.
Again, I consider myself lucky. Other than my heart being ripped out of my chest, I think I got away fairly lightly. I have read others’ stories and I hurt for them. My heart will mend eventually, and I will never be as trusting with anyone like I have been in the past. It’s sad but true.
Lesson here: Trust your instincts. You were given them for a reason.