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Archive for September, 2016

Help for Overcoming the Trauma of Facing the Abuser in Court

Woman in courtAfter suffering the trauma of domestic violence, many victims are terrified to face their abusers in court. The federal Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) can offer support, so in recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Lovefraud Continuing Education presents the online course, “Surviving Court When You’re Traumatized” on Oct. 17 and 25, 2016.

Domestic violence victims often suffer from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, explains Dr. Karin Huffer, an adjunct professor at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice and author of the course. When victims must appear in court with the abuser for divorce, child custody or other legal matters, their symptoms may make it impossible for them to respond appropriately and participate fully.

“If the courts fail to supply an unbiased forum and equitable protection, the victim may end up with Legal Abuse Syndrome — an additional injury that is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder,” Dr. Huffer says.

When Charm Fails, Sociopaths Threaten, Bully and Attack

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 25: Paul’s House

Paul’s ideas about our next house and my ideas could have not diverged more. He wanted to build a $1 million dream house from the ground up. To me, it was absurd. Houses take money, time, and energy to build. We had none of those to spare. It was already March. I wanted to be settled into a new house by July to allow Jessica to make a few friends before starting kindergarten. That wasn’t enough time.

Leaving abusive relationships is especially hard for people in minority communities

Amber AultBy Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW

Partners in abusive relationships — with psychopaths, narcissists, and other disordered individuals — often suffer in silence. This is especially true in marginalized communities.

Partners’ silence reinforces their isolation and reduces their capacity to end abuse and exploitation in these relationships.

What stops a partner from seeking help? Among the barriers to reaching out for a reality check — and support for leaving — are these common factors:

Shame. Partners worry that their association with a toxic person reflects poorly on them, and that others will judge them if they know about the abuse they are tolerating. If they’ve left and returned, the shame feels greater. Partners also often want to protect the “good reputation” of their toxic mate or the status the couple enjoys within a family or community. If friends or family opposed coupling with the toxic person, the partner faces the shame of acknowledging the decision to ignore good advice, and feels unworthy of support now.

Maine man accused of killing his wife while he pursued other women

Luc Tieman

Luc Tieman of Fairfield, Maine.

Luc Tieman, of Fairfield, Maine, was charged with murder after police found the body of his wife, Valerie Tieman, in the woods near their home.

Multiple women, including the victim’s friend, reported that Luc Tieman was wooing them at the same time that Valerie went missing. One woman said, “Things were too perfect.”

Husband of missing Fairfiled woman charged with murder, on CentralMaine.com.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Media sociopaths

7 reasons why psychopaths, antisocials and narcissists will not change

 

Angry Blond ManOnce a psychopath, antisocial or narcissist is an adult, there is no therapy, and no medication, which will make him or her into a normal, loving person.

You may find this shocking. In these days of medical miracles, it’s hard to believe that there is no treatment for someone who, on the surface, appears to be so normal.

So why won’t malignant people change? Here are seven reasons:

  1. They don’t want to change

For any therapy to work, you have to want to change. Malignants don’t think there is anything wrong with them. Although you and other people are distressed by their behavior, they aren’t. Therefore, they have absolutely no motivation to do the hard work of personal change.

  1. They feel superior
Posted in: Donna Andersen

12 songs to help you heal from a sociopath

By “JustAboutHealed”

The songs that resonate with you can help pinpoint where you are in the healing journey. Written from the heterosexual female viewpoint, ‘cause that is the path I know.  Try using music to chart your past and where you want to get to!

1.Yeah, maybe a bad boy, but still…

You think it is mostly an act. If you aim for his heart, you’re sure he’ll behave, he’s got the key.

Moves Like Jagger  by Maroon 5, featuring Christina Aguilera

2. You’re In Deep, and Quickly

“Crazy for you” is truer than you realize…

Crazy for You By Madonna

 3. Maybe Something is Wrong…

Maybe I’m just imagining things…

Just give me a reason By Pink


What to do when your exploiter has cops for friends

by Lesson Learned

CopDuring your interaction with law enforcement it is normal to feel, anxious and somewhat intimidated. Even when you’re in the right, something about that badge, gun and the general demeanor of cops can make you feel stressed. What you should not feel is fear…at least from the officers. If you feel fear – if they are standing too close, or are intentionally appearing intimidating, ask them calmly if they would take a step back as you’re feeling a little overwhelmed. This is where a witness is crucial. If the officer will not step back you have a witness to attest to that and he knows it. Throughout this I will refer to law enforcement as ‘he’ for expedience and because during my ordeal I didn’t have any interactions with female officers. I am also referring to sociopaths and other opportunists as ‘he’ again for expediency and because that is my main experience.

A Genuine Leader and A Sociopath May Look Identical—At First

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 24: Paul’s Dream

Sociopaths generally have a high need for stimulation, which experts believe stems from the shallowness of their emotional life. They cannot and do not experience the love, affection, attachment, and happiness that create the rich tapestry of a normal individual’s interpersonal and emotional life. Sociopaths fill the resulting void with action and distraction. They loathe boredom and downtime, so they are prone to making quick, risky decisions and pressing for immediate action. For sociopaths, it is as if the downside of any decision they make simply does not exist.

Joe Morrissey, jailed for sex with a 17-year-old employee, leads Richmond’s race for mayor

Eight people are running for mayor of Richmond, Virginia. In a poll released a few weeks ago, Joe Morrissey held a comfortable lead, with 28% of the vote. The second-place candidate had 16%.

Morrissey, a former prosecutor and state delegate, has a lot of name recognition — probably because he’s in the news a lot for bad behavior.

  • Morrissey was busted for having sex with a 17-year-old assistant in his law firm. First he denied everything, then, when the girl turned out to be pregnant, married her.
  • Morrissey went to jail for fighting a defense attorney, and for beating a contractor.
  • Morrissey was cited for contempt of court 10 times, and went to jail for it.

Mark Holmberg of WTVR in Richmond calls Morrissey a “one man circus” and wants voters to elect someone else.

Holmberg: OMG: Sextin’ Joe Morrissey is leading the mayor’s race! on WTVR.com.

Posted in: Media sociopaths

3 Mixed Messages Toxic People Use to Manipulate Your Affection

Amber AultBy Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW

Cognitive dissonance — the mixed perceptions and feelings that result from inconsistent experiences — helps to explain why people find it difficult to leave toxic relationships.

On the one hand, the toxic partner tells us they love us; on the other, they engage in behavior that is cruel, disrespectful, or exploitive. Our brains work overtime trying to make sense of these mixed messages —and in the process, we often stay longer than makes sense; in the meanwhile, the toxic partner continues to benefit from our attention, support, and resources.

Here are three mixed messages that toxic partners often create through their words and actions:

  1. They are brilliant, extraordinary, charming — and pitiable