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How a sociopath can gaslight an entire circle of friends

Gaslight

Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman in “Gaslight.”

In an article on Yahoo, a woman describes all sorts of weirdness among her circle of friends. At the center of the weirdness was a man who caused his wife to have a meltdown. This man later admitted that he was prone to fits of violence towards people and animals, and didn’t feel any remorse about it.

The author wrote:

This revelation made me look back at everything with a keener eye. I finally connected the dots to see that he manipulated his wife all of these years, thus painting a picture of her as being ditzy, disorganized, and paranoid in order to control her life, as well as the relationships she was forming with everyone around her.

The story is an interesting look at how manipulation can ripple through an entire group of people.

It happened to me: My friends and I were gaslighted by someone close to us, on Yahoo.com.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

 



5 Comments on "How a sociopath can gaslight an entire circle of friends"

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  1. AnnettePK says:

    This is an excellent account of the craziness and complexity of relationships of any kind involving spaths. My ex spath manipulated everyone in several circles of friends/family/church brethren on so many levels. It would take years to recount; it gives me a headache to think of it.

    He often set me up similar to techniques described in the post – not telling me about invitations extended to me, and then telling family members (his mother, etc.) that I didn’t want to go. Setting things up so I didn’t wear appropriate clothes to events, etc. etc. etc.



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    • becomingstrong says:

      Annette,
      I can relate to hiding invitations. Mine knew I would clean out his car (yes it was that bad) and when I did I would find invitations thrown on the floor weeks months old. He left them there for me to find. Always acting like the scattered brained slob as one of his masks. I’m sure many of those people thought it was me who didn’t have the decency to rsvp. Later I had the opportunity to tell one of those who invited us that I never received the invitation. Oh well one of many ways that he isolated me. Not to mention the inroads he is trying to make with family members who stop speaking to me because I remained married to him-oh the irony of it.



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      • AnnettePK says:

        Irony for sure. When a spath is involved it’s always a lose – lose situation. No matter what we do, it’s always turned against us. I also note that when involved with good people, everyone ‘wins’ usually, such that everyone involved benefits from situations and interactions.



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  2. regretfullymine says:

    mine claimed that his parents ‘hated him’ because he wanted to farm his grandparents’ farm; he also said that MY family hated me for being with HIM, so I had NO choice except to be with him and HIS family..illogical?? yes, I didn’t see it for what it was, lies..for many years. and when HE decided we should have children..and I balked..he got his father to beg for us to give him grandchildren; so one of the parents he said, hated him, he used against me, to get me to start a family..weird, but true



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    • Synergy says:

      Politics! Overflowing with sociopaths and psychopaths. Their goals are domination, self-aggrandizement, power,and big money. Probably sex, too, and maybe other things I have not thought of. Here are the lyrics to a song by Pete Seeger, from the standpoint of these sorts of politicians, which include most if not all of the current candidates for president of the United States of America. I was at a concert about 20 years ago when Pete sang this song. See link below to hear him sing it.

      By Pete Seeger

      When something in my history is found
      Which contradicts the views that I propound
      Or shows that I perhaps am not the guy I claim to be
      Here’s what I usually do

      [Chorus]
      I lie
      I simply boldly falsify
      I look the other feller in the eye
      And just deny, deny, deny
      I lie

      I don t apologize. Not me. Instead
      I say I never said the things I said
      Nor did the things some people saw me do
      When confronted by some things they know are true

      [Chorus]

      I hate those weasel words some slickies use
      To blur their past or muddy up their views
      Not me. I’m blunt. One thing that makes me great
      Is that I’ll never dodge nor obfuscate

      [Chorus]

      http://www.letssingit.com/pete-seeger-lyrics-the-ross-perot-guide-to-answering-embarrassing-questions-9253hf7



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