In the wake of the Gay Pride Month massacre of 49 people gathered at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, the world has taken notice of the violence and threats of violence lesbian gay, bisexual, and transgender people face on a regular basis.
What’s less visible is that the patterns of oppression we face in the broader society sometimes trickle down into our most intimate relationships.
Lesbian and gay people need to be able to turn to partners for safety, support, care, and kindness. This is especially important as we face discrimination and invalidation in the broader culture.
Unfortunately, for many people in same-sex relationships, home is not a haven but, instead, because of a partner’s personality disorder, a place of emotional drama and distress, financial exploitation, confusion and chaos.
Like most minority communities, the LGBT population can feel especially vulnerable about exposing our relationships to public scrutiny; survivors fear that they will be dismissed or belittled, denied help, or rejected if they name the difficulties in their intimate lives that are created by narcissistic, psychopathic, or otherwise toxic partners. As a result, many suffer in silence, isolated not only by the stigma associated with difficult relationships but also by our awareness of widespread homophobia.
Toxic partners actually benefit from the isolation from families and social networks that LGBT people often experience. Homophobia frequently ejects us from our families, making us vulnerable to love-bombing partners who seem initially to offer the affection and family we may have lost.
Although resources designed for people in heterosexual relationships can be very helpful to LGBT people exploring the confusing partnerships, it’s also helpful to have queer-specific resources that speak directly to LGBT populations. In 2014, I published a book called The Wise Lesbian Guide to Getting Free From Crazy-Making Relationships & Getting On With Your Life, based on interviews with women who had survived toxic relationships with same-sex partners.
In honor of Pride, which is celebrated in many communities this weekend, and with the hope that every person ultimately finds the peace and love that we all deserve, I’ve made the digital version of the book available at a deep discount June 22-29 2016. Please share it with friends, family members, clients, or colleagues who may be able to use it to help people suffering in toxic relationships.
You can find the book at the link below, or at amberault.com. If you don’t have a Kindle reader, you can download free Kindle software from amazon.com that will let you have access to the digitial version of this and other books.
See the Lovefraud review of this book here.