My corrosive marriage to and my toxic divorce from a sociopath are chronicled in my book Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned (available via Amazon.com). My after-the-fact understanding of how I got trapped for so long in this hellish relationship is woven throughout.
Yet, to share the essence of the experience in far fewer words, I crafted the following poem (also in the book.)
If any of it resonates with you, I hope it helps you unveil an abusive relationship for what it is and motivates you to craft a safe exit strategy for you or for someone close to you whose life may be precariously entwined with a sociopath.
The Poem–Husband, Liar, Sociopath
I’m free of him. At last. At last.
The future’s mine. The past is past.
A vulture masked that preys on doves,
He baited me with care and love,
Then tried to steal my very soul.
He came so close; my life’s the toll.
It seemed at first like hearts entwined,
A soul mate I was blessed to find.
But it was false, a trap, ensnared,
Just illusion that he cared.
In public, princely, caring, kind.
This grand performance kept me blind
To his assault of subtle lies,
Perceptions challenged, truths denied.
His velvet voice, so deftly used,
Allured, seduced, disarmed, confused.
He groomed me as possession, pawn,
And if I failed to yield or fawn,
Then I was clearly “selfish,” “cold,”
“Controlling,” “ingrate,” often told.
He muddled and he numbed my mind.
To live depleted, I resigned.
Convinced I could do nothing right,
Upon his star, I was the blight,
An awful mom, ungrateful wife.
Potential squandered … wasted life.
My strength was drained, I was mere dust,
So dim were faith and hope and trust.
Just lucky that he cared for me,
For I was “nothing.” All could see.
“Wake up!” my faded embers cried.
It’s ALL an orchestrated lie.
The truth? He’s evil, void, and dark.
There’s no compassion. Not a spark.
No conscience, just a puppeteer.
I called him husband … twenty years.
Identifying names, places, events, characteristics, etc. that I discuss here and in my book have been altered to protect the identity of everyone involved.