When you confront your partner about cheating, does he or she say it’s your fault?
Does your partner pick a fight with you, and use the fight as an excuse to storm out of the house — and see someone else?
If you answer yes to these questions, you may be involved with a psychopath — for more warning signs, get the exclusive Lovefraud checklist.
If your partner checks a lot of the boxes on the checklist, know this: There’s nothing you can do, or could have ever done, to prevent or stop the cheating — no matter what your partner says.
Here are 4 reasons why psychopaths will never stop cheating.
1. All psychopaths want in life are power, control and sex
Psychopaths are wired differently from the rest of us. If you’re a relatively normal person, you want love in your life. You cherish your important relationships. You want to feel connected to other people.
Psychopaths don’t. They view other people as objects to be manipulated.
Psychopaths are incapable of feeling love, so it means nothing to them. Instead, they derive their satisfaction from power, control and sex.
2. For psychopaths, romantic relationships are the means to an end
Here’s what happens when a psychopath meets you:
- They evaluate you to see if you have anything that they want.
- They figure out your vulnerabilities
- They manipulate your vulnerabilities to get what they want.
Psychopaths look at a romantic partner as someone to supply them with sex, a home, money, an image of respectability — whatever.
They are always looking for new sources of supply, so if they encounter someone who may have something else that they want — well, they just go through the above steps with the new target.
3. Psychopaths view romantic relationships as entertainment
As stated above, psychopaths pursue romantic relationships because they want something. Sometimes, what they want is simply entertainment.
They like being the puppet master — pulling strings to get you to respond. They experience “duping delight” — they get a charge out of pulling one over on you.
So sometimes, they pursue you just to see if they can hook you. When they succeed, game over, and they dump you — with no consideration at all for your feelings.
4. Psychopaths are always looking for a new sexual thrill
Psychopaths have a need for excitement — including sexual excitement. Because they get bored easily, they’re always on the lookout for a new type of sex.
This could mean a new sexual partner. Or, it could mean a new experience — same-sex encounters, pedophilia, bondage, sadomasochism.
You may feel like a psychopath’s interest in sex has waned. It may not be their interest in sex — just sex with you. They’re still looking for someone or something new and exciting.
Setting yourself free
Here is the benefit of knowing that your partner is disordered: The knowledge gives you the power to set yourself free.
Despite what the psychopaths say, their behavior is not your fault, and it never was. They are going to cheat, and there is nothing you can do about it.
So do not blame yourself. Do not feel guilty. Don’t feel like you need to honor your commitment to him or her — it was never a mutual commitment.
Give yourself permission to leave, recover and find the loving partner that you truly deserve.