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Archive for November, 2015

How can a run-in with a sociopath be a spiritual journey?

This post refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

My first book is entitled, Love Fraud — how marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.

 I imagine that for many of you, your reaction to this title is, “Huh?”

God is good, right? The Universe is supposed to support us, right? So how can there possibly be anything spiritual about having your life trampled by a sociopath?

Believe me, as I was in the midst of the struggle, I asked those questions. Except in my pleadings with my Higher Power, I wasn’t so polite.

As you can see from my wedding video, I was well and truly duped into marrying James Montgomery. He presented himself as a man who was smitten with me, who thought the world of me, who would offer me an opportunity to “live in the lap of luxury.”


Arizona woman says her ex-husband used Lifelock to stalk her

Suzanna Quitana, of Gilbert, Arizona, says her ex-husband opened an account with LifeLock, the credit-monitoring company, to secretly track everything she did financially.

Even worse, Lifelock was slow to respond to requests for information not only from Suzanna, but from the sheriff.

Julio Quitana, the ex-husband, claimed he is the victim of a harassment campaign.

LifeLock used to electronically track Arizona woman, on AZCentral.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

 

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The sociopath got my brain twisted right away

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “freebird.” Names have been changed.

My story started July 24th. I had just joined plentyoffish.com, very ambivalently, as I was looking to hopefully meet someone worthy of my time.

I received a message from “Karl.” He was soooo hot, five years younger than me, just moved here from New York. I’ve always had a thing for the northerners.

I found myself excited to get his messages, and the only reason I’d get on it at one point was just to talk to him. We switched numbers and talked a little before we met.

He told me that he moved here to start a company with the goals of it merging with his prior company, and that his family and work were somewhat linked. His company is in advertising and marketing, all things that I know little about, and didn’t want to pry too much in fear of sounding stupid or “not listening.”

Sociopaths—How They Lie and Why We Fall For It: Part 1

SociopathToolkit

Sociopaths dazzle and distract with brilliant linguistic gymnastics to obscure their lies.  In my book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned (available via Amazon.com), I examine several conversations to reveal specific techniques “Paul” (my husband of about 20 years who I now believe is a sociopath), used to obscure the truth. These techniques are likely common to other liars and sociopaths as well.

“Our Honeymoon Isn’t Over Until I Say It’s Over!” 

The night we’d returned from our honeymoon, I needed to make a business-related call.  Paul was furious with me and snapped, “Our honeymoon isn’t over until I say it’s over!”  It was so out of character for the man I thought I married that I decided to discuss the unsettling interaction with Paul the next day.

Holiday sale: Buy one Lovefraud printed book, get a second copy FREE!

Lovefraud booksGive the gift of knowledge, understanding and healing — to yourself and a friend! For the holiday season, when you buy one Lovefraud printed book, you’ll receive a second copy of the book for free!

I am pleased to offer you:

Red Flags of Love Fraud
10 signs you’re dating a sociopath

Two copies for $17.95 — you save $21.95!

Red Flags of Love Fraud reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. You’ll learn how sociopaths seduce their targets, why it’s hard to escape the relationships, and how you can protect yourself.

 

Love Fraud
How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan

Two copies for $14.95 — you save $44.95!

Posted in: Donna Andersen

‘Hitting Home with Sarah Ferguson,’ a two-part documentary on domestic violence in Australia, airs Nov. 24 and 25

Isabella Cullen’s husband, Ben, hit her in the face as he held their child in his arms.

Wendy fled her ex-partner with her children. They had only the clothes they were wearing.

“Rachel’s” injuries are documented by a doctor who runs a forensic domestic violence service.

These are some of the stories included in “Hitting Home with Sarah Ferguson,” a documentary about the “epidemic” of domestic violence in Australia. It airs Tuesday, Nov. 24, and Wednesday, Nov. 25, on ABC in Australia.

As the women tell their stories, they describe the same behaviors we discuss here on Lovefraud every day. The stories are chilling.

Woman whose husband punched her until she was bleeding in the face as he held their one-year-old son in his other arm explains why she stayed with him for years, on DailyMail.co.uk.

4 reasons why psychopaths will never stop cheating

Is your partner a sociopath?Do you have absolute proof that your partner is cheating — but he or she denies it?

When you confront your partner about cheating, does he or she say it’s your fault?

Does your partner pick a fight with you, and use the fight as an excuse to storm out of the house — and see someone else?

If you answer yes to these questions, you may be involved with a psychopath — for more warning signs, get the exclusive Lovefraud checklist.

If your partner checks a lot of the boxes on the checklist, know this: There’s nothing you can do, or could have ever done, to prevent or stop the cheating — no matter what your partner says.

Here are 4 reasons why psychopaths will never stop cheating.

1. All psychopaths want in life are power, control and sex

10 rules for keeping psychopaths and Cluster Bs out of your life

Stop_sign.svg copy_300x300Editor’s note: The Lovefraud reader “Jay Anthony” posted the following as a comment on November 10. It is reproduced as an article so that readers who may have missed it can benefit from Jay Anthony’s insight.

Highly sensitive individuals are certainly going to suffer from shock, among other deep emotional symptoms, after dealing with a psychopath.

I was raised in a highly dysfunctional Italian family so the ability to rebound has helped tremendously in adult life. My childhood was a sink or swim situation of whose lessons I’ve carried into adulthood. This has made it much easier to overcome the experiences I’ve personally had with psychopaths/sociopaths (and there has been more than one).

Because let’s face it, my family suffered from nearly every Cluster B personality disorder known to man. There was without a doubt psychopathy in the family as well. Surviving that with one’s mind left intact deserves an award of some kind lol.

Profiler offers $25,000 reward for killer of four prostitutes, and describes how the murderer thinks

Four bodies found Atlantic City

Four bodies were found along the banks of this drainage ditch outside of Atlantic City. (Photo by Donna Andersen)

Nine years ago today, on Nov. 20, 2006, the bodies of four women were found in a drainage ditch outside of Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Nobody was ever arrested in the case. Now, a criminal profiler from New Jersey, John Kelly of S.T.A.L.K. Inc, is offering a $25,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the killer.

The profile Kelly and his team developed is chilling. It reads, in part:

“He has an extreme foot fetish and has a collection of women’s shoes and the shoes of his victims … He is nonsocial and likes to keep to himself. he is narcissistic (everything revolves around him), and he is also very concerned with making himself look good in all aspects.”

Posted in: Donna Andersen

When You “Lose Yourself” Due To A Sociopath, Recovery Is Hard—Really Hard

Tsunami

If I hear one more reporter or talk show host ask a victim of partner abuse, “Why did you stay?” and not really listen to the answer or not try to understand the psychology of how emotional, psychological, financial, and/or physical abuse can rewire your brain and murder your soul, I will scream.

I want to scream because I don’t think the interviewer is really looking for an answer.

We Are Strong, They Were Weak

Instead, it’s as if the questioner is seeking to label the victim as “weak” and “not like us.” This creates a sense that the victim is different, and that perceived difference creates the comforting illusion that it could never happen to us or someone like us.  After all:

  • We are strong, they were weak,
  • We are savvy, they were naïve,
  • We are smart, they were stupid,