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Truth in Romance Day is coming! June 15th!

Truth in Romance DayBy Joyce M. Short

Most of us here on LoveFraud have been harmed by the lies and manipulations of sociopaths. Our hopes were dashed by betrayal, and we were sexually embroiled in hoaxes. Our struggle to recover our dignity has been a painful process.

Donna has long established this healing community where people can join together to support one another, and I’ve endeavored to raise awareness regarding the criminal nature of what takes place so that it will stop. In my effort to do so, I’ve created Truth in Romance Day to bring to light the painful harm emotional predators create when they deceive their target of sex or love.

The very first annual, international Truth in Romance Day will take place on June 15th. It’s a day to celebrate forthright behavior in sexual and romantic relations and bring the problem to the forefront of society’s consciousness. It’s a day that folks engaging in new relationships should share information to support what they’ve divulged about themselves by exchanging ID and any other documents that back their claims.

Many hoaxes can be avoided by finding out that the person you’re having sex with actually has a different name than the one they gave you. Mischele Lewis, who successfully prosecuted William Allen Jordan, a con artist who’d given her the name Liam Allen, discovered his scam by looking at his driver’s license. Jordan was subsequently convicted of defrauding Lewis of $4,800 and pretending to be a government official.

Rarely does a married spouse want to divulge their personal address. And misstating age is a common lie among internet daters. Checking ID will not uncover every hoax that emotional partners use, but it’s a start. The focus on Truth in Romance will help raise awareness about the importance of accuracy when establishing loving relationships, and the possibility that you could be harmfully fooled.

It’s my hope, by creating Truth in Romance Day, that the amount of lies told to embroil unsuspecting victims will diminish because offenders will know that they’ll have to fess up and come clean on June 15th. The reward for truth on Truth in Romance Day, is a bubble bath for two. The consequence is a distasteful bar of soap and a speedy trip through the exit door!

Please help spread the word. By all means, relate your experiences engaging in Truth in Romance Day with your emotional partner, and the tales you hear from folks you’ve passed the information to. To do so, click here.

If you’d like more information, click How to Introduce Truth in Romance Day to Your Mate

Joyce M. Short is the author “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. 

 


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9 Comments on "Truth in Romance Day is coming! June 15th!"

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  1. Tessa says:

    Thank you Joyce for creating awareness about Truth in Romance by creating a special day. After having been targeted by a sociopath by embroiling me in a relationship hoax to exploit me psychologically, emotionally,sexually, and financially, I would rather take the “chance” of offending a potential romantic partner in the beginning by verifying key identity characteristics. It sure beats dealing with the consequences of getting involved with the wrong person who can turn your world upside down.

    I do my own detective work with background searches to confirm some of the information that the man tells me: age, marital status, where he has lived. This is just a screening to see if there are discrepancies, aliases, criminal records, etc. And …. the caveat is, a mini background search on top of reviewing the internet for other information, does not mean that the person is squeaky clean. It is an important piece of the puzzle though. Does the story add up? Are things too good to be true? Does the man have a job that is hard to verify such as an entrepreneur? Does he check out against the “Red Flags?”



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  2. jm_short says:

    Falling prey to a romance scam is a harsh way to learn the reality of sexual predators! Once burned, forever fore warned.

    Unfortunately, the vast majority of society has yet to grapple with this behavior and are vulnerable to being targeted. Laws to curb offenders are few and far between; so sex scams continue, unchecked.

    I’m hoping “Truth in Romance Day” can help raise awareness and introduce recognition into the minds of people who could otherwise be harmed. And, perhaps, through enlightenment, folks will begin to understand why laws should protect society from this defiling act.



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  3. Out of There says:

    Thank you for this subject in helping all of us do some detective work in finding out as much as we can about the people we choose to invite into our personal lives.

    I am now very very happily remarried to a wonderful man. God is good — He is very very good.

    Here is something I found extremely helpful in finding someone. I was trying to find my ex spath because it looked like he was going to be served with Contempt of Court. I think it will probably help out all of you are now single and want to know “a little bit more” about the man you are dating. He address and if he is single.

    Tessa and jm_short:

    If you know the magazines he reads, or better yet, in small talk, you could ask him what magazines he reads regularly and if he likes them and if he gets a subscription. You then call the magazine company and tell them you are calling since you did not receive this months copy and would they please confirm the address to be sure that the right one is on file. B I N G O You now have a address and if it is going to a Mr and Mrs. Then you can find out through the county who the house is deeded to.

    It worked for me. Thank you friends to helped me find my ex spath, who, BTW, had all of his mail sent to his office, except his magazines.

    Good Luck and Best Wishes



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  4. jm_short says:

    Out of There-

    Crafty suggestion! I’m so glad you’re happily coupled! Good for you!

    Fortunately, today, the internet has loads of services to trace people’s backgrounds. In order to use them, however, you need the person’s actual name. Checking their ID is the most certain way to secure that, but even then, they could supply a forgery. Nothing is foolproof.

    A driver’s license will also show you the date of birth and that’s a frequently lied about detail in e-dating profiles.

    Another way to locate data is through the person’s license plates on their car.



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  5. stopbuggingme says:

    Good practice for new people in your life but for older in your life, see if they have an alternate address.

    My husband of 25 years was listed on whitepages.com at his parents after they had been moved for years from his childhood home into a new home. I consider them accomplices in ripping me off.



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  6. suss says:

    Thank you Joyce for everything that you do. Sex and relationship fraud is traumatic and devastating. The recovery from this is long and very painful. It is very, very difficult to overcome. Discovering the person you thought you knew was not who they said they were, in character, and in some cases, even identity, will shock and change you to your very core. Opening yourself up completely emotionally/ sexually to someone you have been with for a long time that ended up being a predator can do major damage to one’s self. Most situations are complex and details are very painful. Most people who get conned are kind, compassionate and loving people. Those of us who are genuine and without deception sees the same in others as well. Sociopaths come in many forms, and they are master manipulators with years of experience. After getting hurt so badly.. we need to up our protection. Checking ID won’t stop other devastating lies but it can help definitely ween out the predators that lie about their names and addresses.



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  7. VictimOfFemale says:

    Can someone out there help me? A very twisted psychopath young lady conned me out of a $25K car and $8,000 by convincing “all of us” she lives alone with 3 kids and can’t make ends meet. I had already decided I wanted to buy a car for a deserving family once I met the right people. I knew her well for 10 months before she began using, abusing, tricking, and emotionally raping me. I never fell in love with her THANK GOD. I probably wouldn’t be alive today If I had.

    To “strengthen” her manipulative “hold” on me, she took full advantage of the fact that she and I happen to have a “friend in common”, now a doctor, who “endorsed” the psychopath even though the two of them hadn’t spent any time together since they were teens. So, no, I’m NOT “stupid”. I was completely duped and tricked by a master of lies.

    I met with an attorney who specializes in “deception fraud”. To my amazement, he wanted NOTHING to do with my case! He even said I could get into “big trouble” if I were to file a police report! We’re coming up on one year since I bought her the car. There might be a statute of limitations?

    I knew all along that she has been posting to all social websites the “fact” that it’s just “her and the kids” at home and things are tough (over 1000 Facebook “friends”). I slowly began to see where she would constantly flirt with attractive guys to see what she could gold-dig out of them. All the while, she was pretending to be “hot after me”, as well. I didn’t care if it she and I didn’t “work out”, I just thought I, at the very least, had a “friend for life” and wanted to make sure she had everything she needed. (She’s ULTRA charismatic—a total facade!)

    Well after the car purchase, to my horror, I found out she drove that new car straight home to her FELLOW snake husband of 10 years. I am completely “on the fence” as to whether or not to pursue it as I could NOT withstand another “win” for her. She (THEY) would be “over the moon” thrilled with yet another victory rooted in deception, lies and extortion.

    I’m considering a media interview in an attempt to expose them or simply warn the public. I found an outfit that can provide me with a transcript of ALL of her and my thousands of texts.

    What should I do, guys? Thank you.



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    • jm_short says:

      Victim-

      First off, the definition of emotional rape is “inducing your highest emotion, which is love, by deceit.” Since you indicate that you never loved this woman, the term “emotional rape” would not pertain to your situation. That doesn’t mean you weren’t harmed.

      I can’t tell from your post, but surmise that you had a sexual relationship with her. Having sex under false pretenses would be “rape by fraud.” Unfortunately, unless you live in Alabama or Tennessee, no charges could be brought against her for that action.

      If you have proof that she’s stalking victims on the internet by creating a hoax, there are reporting agencies that deal with that behavior….. although, it’s very difficult to get them to act. A cyberlaw bill is being worked on, as we speak, in order to help put an end to internet hoaxing.

      Meanwhile, media interviews can truly come back to haunt you. The media does not necessarily print the story as you see or report it. And exposure can be seen as violating her right to privacy. Your best bet is likely to be a civil suit for the monetary damages you suffered. Problem with that is that she would have to have attachable assets in order for you to recover a judgment.

      I’m truly sorry you encountered this problem and wish you strength in recovering.



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      • VictimOfFemale says:

        Oh, she definitely “attempted” to emotionally rape me. My doctor told me psychopaths get a “high” out of this behavior–building you up, then trashing you. Oh, yes. I WAS harmed.

        We did NOT have any sexual contact of any sort. I treated this woman with TOTAL respect for the 16 months I KNEW her. I was simply reaching out to help a person in need. I was in a “no win” situation, however, because no matter what I did, I would be seen as only trying to “score” with her, etc.

        After the first 10 months, we went on our two phony “dates”.

        I successfully planted a couple quick kisses on her mouth days later. I NOW know, she only played along because, in her mind, it would be potentially financially beneficial for her to do so. I then began to see there weren’t any “sparks” flying, so, BEING THE DECENT PERSON I AM, I was fine just being her friend. So, each time we saw each other after that, I completely stopped any physical contact, and, sure enough, on a day she scammed me out of a trunkful of groceries, she said, “come here, kiss me”. This was, of course, just an attempt to figuratively elevate me to a higher floor in the skyscraper, so when she pushed me out the window, the drop would be a bigger and LONGER thrill for her before I went splat.

        Yes, from what I can gather, she and her fellow snake husband knew EXACTLY what they were doing in scamming me. I get the impression they likely “study” all laws that are “difficult to get (agencies) to act” on, as you put it.

        I agree about the media interview. The final product wouldn’t paint an accurate picture of the whole scam. Although, on the show “Cheaters”, are we to believe that the cheating individuals have signed off in order to appear on the show so as not to violate their “right to privacy”?

        Our entire relationship was nothing but a “game she MUST win”, which is one of the bullet-points of the psychopath. At various times, she even texted me that she “doesn’t DO drama”…(she’s 100% drama) ….and when I didn’t contact her for 4 days, “*crying*…you make me feel like a golddigger”…..all for her own “thrill”, of course.

        Yes, a couple months ago, she came speeding past me on the road about 15 mph over the limit while driving her shiny, new “ill-gotten trophy”…..and I did NOTHING but treat her in accordance with the golden rule. She lied to our little circle of friends, telling them I was “invited” to her place “several times” and never showed up. It’s been 8 months since ANY contact. THAT will continue. She went to great lengths to stretch out lies to give the appearance that our “no contact” is perfectly reasonable. I am choosing to keep my distance from her and her husband that she “doesn’t have”….Psychopaths can be dangerous. I wouldn’t put it past her to have him kill me if I start up any “trouble” exposing her, etc. She would get the best night’s sleep of her life if that happened.



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