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Introducing a new Lovefraud author: “Peace in Chaos”

Candice Doyle photo storyLovefraud is pleased to announce a new contributor to our blog. She’s a woman who was manipulated into marrying a sociopath, pressured into having a child with him, and eventually realized, as we all do, that he was not the man he initially pretended to be.

In reality, he was a lying, cheating, womanizing, swindling … well, I’ll let her tell you about her experiences in her own way.

Because of the young child they share, she can’t reveal her identity, so she’ll be writing under the pseudonym of “Peace in Chaos.” Here’s her bio:

Peace in Chaos is a full time Mom and also a professional dance instructor. She went to school for Fine Arts, but ended up being a self-made entrepreneur, building a commercial construction company.

By lies and manipulation, Peace in Chaos married a sociopath at age 20. Ten years later, after a long custody battle for her special-needs child, she is now divorced and lives to help others avoid the same follies.

A song by Dan Bremnes called Where the Light Is pretty much sums up her life. It starts with: “This is me, I grew up in church, raised on the Gospel, trained in the Word. Had a faith so fearless, thought it was all I needed. But life hit me hard, more than I planned, it knocked me down like an avalanche.”

Peace in Chaos attributes her psychological, mental, physical and spiritual victory, after exposure to a sociopath, to God, for if it wasn’t for Him, she is not sure where she would be.

Look for posts by Peace in Chaos on Fridays.

 

 



8 Comments on "Introducing a new Lovefraud author: “Peace in Chaos”"

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  1. Jan7 says:

    Welcome Peace in Chaos…I’m looking forward to your blogs on Lovefraud. 🙂

    I’m sorry that you endured hell at the hands of your ex but I am glad that you found your way to LF and now are writing for Lovefraud. So powerful…your ex had know idea that you would find your strenght to help expose sociopaths to others & help heal so many victims. That is sweet revenge for sure! 😉



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  2. Delores says:

    That sounds like my story but I had two children I raised with my 30 year new husband I have been divorced from it for 40 years and when I declared my complete independence from it by refusing to confirm his lies or be subjected to his presence, I was accused of alienating my adult daughter from him. If you have children with a psychopath, it is not over until it is dead. In keeping its secrets to protect my children, I also protected and enabled it. But the secrets were too terrible to tell children. I did not even want to tell them as adults but it forced my hand. I thought I protected them enough by moving 1,000 miles away but I could not stop visitation. It is a lawyer. It is evil incarnate.



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    • Out of There says:

      This is my story Delores and Peace in Chaos.

      I, too, am I woman of incredible faith. If not for my faith in Jesus Christ, I don’t know where I would be today and how I would have faired through my divorce eight years ago and the continued problems and chaos that occurs on a regular basis.

      He told me everything I wanted to hear. The mere fact that he knew my faith was everything to me, he told me, that he too, was a christian and catholic and had “just gotten away from going to church.” Needless to say, he did everything “just right” until shortly after we were married and I was pregnant, at his insistence, that he was an atheist.

      I am sure you can figure out the rest. Finally, after divorcing him 17 years into my horrific marriage that entailed drugging my food, to Ambient Abuse a/k/a Gas Lighting, to “Crazy Making” to making me completely financial dependent on him I GOT OUT.

      To this day, he still harasses me in court, stalks me, etc. Unfortunately, I did not know what I know today. I had no clue what a sociopath was until I sought counseling from a psychiatrict.
      She had him pinned almost immediately and told me to be very careful since he is “a wild card”. Also commented to me that in all of her years of practice, never experienced or counseled anyone going through this much difficulty for such an extended period of time.

      So, all in all, I will probably have to deal with his evil, sadistic behavior the rest of his life. But I will survive and thrive.

      Blessings



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      • Scherer1213 says:

        Dear Out of There,
        I, too, am a Christian. 62 and just now starting to come out of the sociopathic/brainwashing techniques.

        If it were not for the fact that I waited upon the Lord to clear the path for my escape, I would have doubted myself, beat myself up and probably gone back. But I could not deny how God has saved my mind and probably my life as well.

        I called my pastor one week before I moved out and told him of my ex’s threat. He replied, “I don’t believe he would hurt you.” To which I replied, “I don’t either, but I’m not going to stick around to find out.” Now I know that my ex would have no problem escalating to murder….after all, “It would have been my fault that he had to kill me.”

        After 62 yrs. of keeping my mouth shut, I believe God has given me a voice to speak to the Body of Christ about this horrific type of person and relationship. I have never heard a sermon on 1 Cor. 5:11 that we not so much as even eat at the same table as someone who calls themselves a Believer and yet acts in a wrathful, etc., manner.

        My ex church and ex pastor turned a blind eye. Neither one supported me. People whom I thought were “friends” have snubbed me in person, through email and un-returned phone calls. These are not my friends. Out of a congregation of 150, I have only seven women who believe me. The rest have turned their backs on me.

        But I promise, that as God so opens the doors for me, I will be a 1 Cor. 5:11, sacred cow toucher. If they don’t like it, all I have to say is “TAWANDA! If you don’t want to protect the women of your congregation, I will do all I can to disclose the evil heart of the sociopath…who comes to steal, kill and destroy; for they are sadistic, blood thirsty, soul-murdering manipulators of the highest degree.
        God’s blessings to you, my Sister.
        Crista (Num.6:24-26, Jer. 29:11-12)

        `



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        • AnnettePK says:

          I met my spath in Church, and in the course of the fake ‘marriage’ the ministry tried to be helpful, I think most of them meant well, but it was somewhat disappointing. Compromise and hypocrisy mixed with lack of understanding of the evil of a psychopath.

          I am unbound from the marriage based on Matthew 19:9, as my ex psychopath did porn; and 1 Corinthians 7:15 as he left the ‘marriage’ permanently when his mask slipped and I knew what he was. He blamed his leaving on me, as he did to his first ex wife. He now has 2 ex wives attending the same church (all different congregations though.)

          Based on 1 Cor 5:11, I do not worship nor socialize where my ex is – I attend a different congregation.

          God promises to protect widows per Psalm 68:5. I am finding peace in trusting God to solve the problem of my ex in His time, per Exodus 14:14.

          I find the parable of the Tares helpful in understanding. The tares are planted by Satan; they look just like the wheat. God does not choose to remove the tares now; they will be destroyed at Jesus’ return (Matthew 13:24-30).



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  3. Delores says:

    There is often a great Spiritual learning from encountering one of these creatures and in spite of the pain, anguish and loss of the pure Christian religious ideal that everyone is basically good, I have gained so much more spiritually than I could have imagined. Experiencing real evil is a life changing event but it is better for me than believing false religious dogma. My path is Spiritual beyond denial and I am so grateful to have sisters here who are traveling that path with me. Bless us all.



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