Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.
By Jade Joddle
For those of us who are spiritually awakening or who have a well-developed third eye chakra, the experience of falling in love is a catalyst for peak spiritual experiences. This means that when falling in love, incredible, magical experiences may occur between oneself and one’s lover. Since such experiences are so out of this world, a person experiencing the strange phenomena may then search for meaning in them and conclude that the universe has united them with their partner because their relationship is ‘cosmically meant to be’.
Unfortunately, this kind of hopeful thinking, which is clouded by one’s spiritual beliefs, may also apply even when we have fallen in love with a disordered individual such as a psychopath or malignant narcissist who brings pain and misery into our lives. I know this because I have personally been trapped in that kind of thinking, and at one time, believed that if I tried hard enough, I could turn my magical relationship with a disordered individual into a happy-ever-after soulmate story.
I fell in love with my ex-partner hard and fast. The love bubble stage of our relationship in which I was walking on cloud nine couldn’t have lasted for more than a week, but regardless of it being so short, it was enough to get me hooked. During these gloriously happy days, the strange phenomena or ‘signs’ from the universe began to occur. These signs were my interpretation of the seemingly impossible coincidences (synchronicities) in our connection; in particular how chance meetings and timing played a role in our coming together.
Later in our relationship, even more incredible phenomena occurred. I experienced heart-to-heart telepathy in which feelings could be sent between us; a sensation of electrical energy flowing between the two of us even when we were continents apart; and once, an out-of-body experience that we shared together in a dream-like state.
While there was certainly a profound spiritual connection between us, our connection in the physical was a nightmare and led to me quickly losing my sense of self. I could do nothing right in his eyes; every day was filled with a new demand for me to change something about my personality or appearance. I remember feeling ashamed of the way I was being treated by him, for which reason I kept the relationship mostly secret from my friends and family. Everyday he remained in my life I grew weaker and weaker, and was willing to abandon more of myself in order to serve his impossible to meet demands even more desperately.
I was fully aware that my relationship was unhealthy but my better judgment often wavered due to by the magical happenings occurring between us. I couldn’t get my head around why these incredibly ‘rare’ and therefore ‘special’ spiritual phenomena were happening between us, unless it meant that we were soulmates. If he was my soulmate, as I believed he was, then I could make it work, given time. This misplaced hopefulness to be loved led me to attempt to reach and strive for the impossible: a reciprocal, loving relationship with a disordered individual.
After 7 months of my ex-partner coming in and out of my life and knocking me down more each time, I finally got the resolve I needed to leave for good. To make the decision stick, I had to go as far as moving countries (in order to stop me running back to him for another round of rejection, heartbreak and misery). It was a further 7 months until I was finally healed of my addiction to this disordered individual by taking a ‘no contact’ approach.
On the other side of my healing journey, I reached a personal understanding of what the magical happenings between us as well as the ‘signs’ from the universe mean for me. I consider my ex partner to be one of my karmic soulmates. A karmic soulmate is someone with whom you experience a challenging relationship in this life. Your relationship is meaningful on a soul level but this does not mean that the two of you will be together forever. You come into each other’s lives to learn strong life lessons. More often than not, you learn these lessons through emotional pain. The ‘signs’ from the universe are merely pointing the way that the connection is important in your life; it doesn’t necessarily mean you will be together forever, which is why it’s important to move on if your love experience turns sour and begins to destroy your sense of self. Far too often, spiritually aware people find these kind of magical yet self-destructive relationships hard to let go of. They stay trapped in them for years, thinking that they can heal their partner by sticking it out.
Magical happenings and/or ‘signs’ from the universe can occur more than once in a lifetime. The first time it happened to me was when I was with my disordered ex-partner; at this time I was convinced this kind of spiritual connection was so rare that I had to cling to the relationship and make it work no matter what. Now I know, however, that is not the case. If you trust life, heal and move on from a karmic relationship, you will ultimately fall in love again. Hopefully, when this happens you will be far enough along your healing journey to attract a reciprocal, healthy love relationship that endures beyond the love bubble stage. If not, expect more karmic relationships to come your way until your soul has woken up and learned its lessons. This, afterall, is the game of life.
Jade Joddle is the content maker at Do Personality Test. See her videos at http://dopersonalitytest.com/personality-tests/