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Archive for March, 2015

To Mom and Dad: 9 reasons why your son or daughter fell for a sociopath

Unhappy-couple-breaking-up sizedDear Parents of a Lovefraud Target,

Your son or daughter has now come to the brutal realization that the entire relationship was a scam.

Perhaps you’ve had your suspicions for a while. Perhaps you’ve even tried to tell your kid that the partner was no good, but he or she wouldn’t listen to you.

Now everything has collapsed, and you can’t understand why your son or daughter didn’t see it coming.

Please understand that sociopaths are professional con artists, and they are really, really good at what they do. In fact, they spend their entire lives perfecting their craft.

Following are nine reasons why your son or daughter fell for it.

1. Your son or daughter didn’t know sociopaths exist

Our society tells us that everyone is created equal, everyone just wants to be loved, and there’s good in everyone. Perhaps you even said these things to your child. If not, the messages certainly came through at school.

Husband accused of stabbing wife to death in front of 7 kids

John Leo Davis

John Leo Davis (Goodyear police department)

John Leo Davis Jr., of Goodyear, Arizona, is in jail, charged with chasing his wife with a kitchen knife in their home and killing her. Seven children, ages 3 to 15, were home at the time.

The Arizona Republic reported that police had been called to the home four times in the past two years. Davis also had a history of domestic violence in previous relationships.

Davis himself called police, saying he’d “lost his mind.”

Goodyear murder suspect has a history of domestic violence, on AZCentral.com.

In his book The Batterer — a psychological profile, Donald G. Dutton, Ph.D., describes three types of male abusers.

  1. Psychopathic wife assaulters, who have no conscience.
  2. Over controlled wife assaulters, who demand subservience.
  3. Cyclical abusers, who Dutton says may have borderline personality disorder.

Book Review: ‘The Batterer’ describes three types of male abusers, on Lovefraud.com.

Study suggests neurofeedback to treat criminal psychopaths

Hannibal Lecter

Hannibal Lecter from ‘Silence of the Lambs,’ the archetypal criminal psychopath.

Experts generally believe that once psychopaths are adults, it’s pretty much impossible to rehabilitate their disorder.

However, Dr. Lilian Konicar of Eberhard-Karls University in Germany recently conducted a study in which they taught hardened criminals to control their brain activity using neurofeedback.

According to Real Clear Science, Dr. Konicar is “conservatively optimistic.”

A new treatment for criminal psychopaths? on RealClearScience.com.

 

How to protect yourself from sociopathic charm

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following article from a user whom we’ll call “Fiona.”

I’m currently being discarded. He has someone else lined up already, I found that out by reading his cellphone.

I have moved towns already and he may have been sleeping with other people on and off throughout our relationship. I have found “no contact” very difficult. However, I think after my last visit back to see him, I’ve reached a stage where the absolute pointlessness of it is impossible to ignore.

I know he has never cared for me. I don’t want to tell the details of my story, but rather to point out a couple of things that I’ve found to be lifelines out of this situation. I knew it was bad from about the third day in, but I spent 14 months labouring under the delusion that he was on the verge of a big change and that he would love me as I loved him.

BOOK REVIEW: ‘Splitting’ — Critical help for divorcing a personality disordered husband or wife

SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells

Review by James Sullivan, Ph.D.

Advertised as “the legal and psychological advice you need,” this is an invaluable guide for those in the vulnerable position described by the title. This is a most readable book, the text supplemented with helpful charts and bulleted notes.

The authors pay attention to the myths and realities of the courtroom and the “dynamics of persuasiveness.” They warn against thinking that judges will find the behavior of the PD (personality disordered) person obvious. In fact, the very features of PD people make them believable. These individuals are, as we know, charming, usually good-looking, and usually intelligent. So their manipulative personalities and blaming attitudes can be seductive. Even experienced judges can be duped by the manipulation and dual personas of the PD individual.

Posted in: Book reviews

The Borderline Male ‘Psycho’: 7 Red Flags

By Jade Joddle

The 7 red flags of a psycho as represented in the animation above are based on observations of family life as I was growing up in an unstable home. My mother had an extremely turbulent dating life, and attracted men with obsessive and stalkerish tendencies as a repeating pattern. For me as a child, home was most definitely not safe.

The ‘psycho’ you see represented in the video is a borderline male who has deep emotional wounds in relation to abandonment. He lives in a permanent state of emotional conflict because more than anything he wants to be in a loving relationship, but yet the very act of getting close to someone triggers in him an irrational fear of abandonment over which he has no control. When he is in a relationship, or even casually dating, he lives in constant fear that the relationship could end at any given moment. This fear of the relationship ending is what makes him jealous and possessive in the extreme.


A psychology professor asks: ‘Can you recognize a psychopath?’

Robert Durst, the real estate mogul and accused killer recently featured in an HBO documentary, seems to match the common public perception of a psychopath.

But Pascal Wallisch, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at New York University, points out that the public perception of psychopaths is not entirely accurate.

In an article for Slate.com, Wallisch does a good job of describing the current scientific understanding of this personality disorder.

Can you recognize a psychopath? on Slate.com.

I do, however, disagree with one of his statements. He says that psychopaths can’t help their behavior.

This is not true. Psychopaths are quite capable of controlling their behavior when they want to.

I would agree that they’re not capable of controlling their antisocial desires or impulses, but they can choose whether or not to act on them. As many of us know, they are usually able to act in socially appropriate ways when it suits their agenda, for example, as they’re reeling in a new target.

Appalling, shocking, psychopathic behavior, and acting before you have evidence

Loretta Burroughs

Loretta Burroughs (Photo by Donna Andersen)

I’ve collected more than 5,000 Lovefraud cases, all of them atrocious tales of deceit and betrayal. Even so, the behavior of Loretta Burroughs, 63, of Mays Landing, New Jersey, was way over the top, heinous beyond belief.

On August 3, 2007, Loretta stabbed her husband to death, dismembered his body, packed the remains into plastic totes and dragged them around from house to house, until they were discovered on May 17, 2013.

She told her friends and family that Daniel Burroughs, 63 at the time, had left her for a younger woman. They had driven off in a yellow Hummer with Florida license plates.

Last week, Loretta Burroughs was convicted of murder. I covered the trial for the Daily Mail.

Inside story

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My story about a family of sociopaths, or, how I got bankrupted the gentleman way

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a Greek woman, whom we’ll call “Alessia.” Names have been changed.

In Greece I had a quiet life. I kept living with my Greek husband on a small island, we had a small rented house and a cute doggie called Fiffi. In Greece I got baptized as an orthodox Christian and got a new first name “Alessia”.

Everything was just great until the economic crisis hit the island seriously. We had to leave, so we decided to move to Germany. After a move in summer 2011, I desperately tried to find a job in Germany. My Greek husband did not speak any German by that time. Our marriage did not survive the move so we considered to have a divorce. Things between me and my husband went worse.

Police say 15-year-old boys shoot and kill a man who was walking his dog

Brandon Smith Tyfine Hamilton

Brandon Smith, left, and Tyfine Hamilton, both 15, were arrested in the murder. (Philadelphia Police photos)

James Stuhlman, 51, of the Overbrook section of Philadelphia, was walking his dog last week when he was allegedly killed by three teenagers in a totally senseless murder.

They were going to rob him. One of them had a gun.

“Please don’t shoot me,” he begged.

One of the boys allegedly shot him. Then they ran away, without taking anything.

All three suspects are now in custody.

Philadelphia 15-year-olds murdered married father in failed robbery: cops, on NYDailynews.com.

Alleged teenage gunman in Overbrook murder surrenders, on 6abc.com.