Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call “Claudette.”
My problem is the same as many other whose lives have been sucked into that of a sociopath.
I met mine about this time last year. My long-term relationship has broken down and I was feeling unhappy, lonely and vulnerable. He seemed like everything I could ever have wanted — charming, funny, affectionate then loving and very sexy. He would send me loads of texts telling me how much he wanted me and then how much he loved me and that we were perfect together and amazing in bed and out.
I left my home and got a flat so that I could be with him — crazy I know but it seemed so right. My former partner was very upset and worried for me as he said he felt this guy was player.
Two months down the line, he cancelled a date suddenly and I smelled a rat. I went round to his house and his ex-girlfriend, who had been sniffing around for some weeks, was there.
I finished with him and did the no contact for months and months.
At Christmas, when I felt confident that I was over him, he sent me a Merry Christmas message. That started a text exchange that developed into some intimate declarations, him saying how bad he felt and how he still wanted me. I felt myself being pulled back in and I felt the same exhilaration and despair as I had before.
After a month of me refusing to meet him the texts started dwindling. Then I had the epiphany! Nothing had changed, how could it?
And that was my saving grace. I realised he would of course NEVER change and we could never have a normal relationship — he’s a sociopath!!!
From that moment I was free and more happy than I’ve been for months.
So it can be done and I would say to anyone struggling to get over one of these toxic relationships that you can get your life back. You are worth so much more than the person ever made you feel.