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Why am I not trusting the love of my life? Part 2 of 4

Spath Tales

Editor’s note: Part 2 of a series submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Laura-Marie.” Read Part 1. Names have been changed. 

Hewas calling and texting a lot all day long. He said he was dealing with brokers to close these deals and some of them were overseas, so he had to be available, especially when the Asian markets opened.

He did a lot of the work in front of me with his laptop open as we sat on the couch and watched TV. He used Skype to speak to people.

The email. It changed my life. “Hi Sexy. I miss you gorgeous. I love you!”

Her name was the same as his name. Charlie Lipton.

I asked who she was and he said she was some girl he dated three or four times.

I asked why she said she loved him and he said he didn’t know. He yelled at me that he didn’t want to be accused of things he wasn’t doing and that he did not answer her email.

I had told him a story about a guy who said he loved me when we never dated and tried to turn it around on me and bring him up.

And then we ran into the guy while out dancing. The guy said he had just thinking been about me and was going to call me.

Why did he have to say this in front of my boyfriend? Was it a battle of egos…. I never dated this guy and hadn’t seen him in almost two years.

Now, this was being used against me when I was innocent.

This was his tool to use against me and take the blame off himself.

I remembered her name and found her on Facebook.

She had porn star sized breast enhancements, bigger than I had ever seen in my life. At least an F cup. She looked like an ex-stripper.

I was shocked as he told me he hated breast enhancements and liked them real. He said they felt like plastic.

Not quite the type you would expect a nice Mormon guy to go for.

But still, something wasn’t right. I tried to listen to his conversations when he went outside, but he would walk away from the house, so I couldn’t hear from the window.

I wanted to set up a recording device in the car, as he used my cars. I was going crazy. I never felt like this before.

One day, I saw a text. The initials were the same as the woman who sent the email. CL.

He left his phone on the coffee table while he went to the bathroom. I didn’t have time to scroll to read beyond what was on the screen as he would be back from the bathroom any second.

I didn’t want to snoop. I wanted him to tell me the truth.

When he came back to the couch, I asked if he was talking to the woman that sent the email. He got angry and said it wasn’t her.

I pointed out the initials were the same and he yelled at me that there were other people with the same initials. CL. Again.

We went to breakfast one day and as I was driving, I glanced over and saw him texting CL. I started shaking and crying.

He asked what my problem was and what triggered me to start going crazy.

I told him he knew what the trigger was, CL. He said it wasn’t her and I asked who it was. He hesitated and said Charles.

Charles who?

He couldn’t remember his last name. He had to think about it, before he said it was Landsman maybe.

He told me he was going to get out of the car and leave, because he didn’t need my crazy accusations. I told him to calm down and go to breakfast with me.

We got to the restaurant and he left to make a phone call, returning angry at me.

What did I do wrong? Why was I feeling this? Should I kick him out? What if I am wrong? I would lose the man of my dreams.

He was everything I wanted when we met. Where did that man go? Was that man ever real?

This wasn’t the man I fell in love with…I am so sad and lost.

Another email. This time it was to Shane. He attached a Word document title “dating profile” with a smiley face.

I asked why he was sending it to a woman and he claimed that she was helping him with something on the iPhone and needed a Word document to show him how to do something.

It didn’t make sense to me. I asked why he added a smiley face and he said it was because he was a happy person.

My anxiety levels were so high that I wanted to crawl out of my skin. Is he lying to me?

He keeps telling me that he loves me and is exactly where he wants to be and that he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to be.

How could the man who said I was everything he wanted do this? Am I crazy???

I thought I just filled the gas tank a few days ago. I didn’t go anywhere and it’s on empty. Both cars. I know I was just at the gas station.

I have no money. I can’t afford this. What is happening????

I begged and pleaded with him to please leave before he started a relationship with someone else. He said he didn’t want anyone else but me.

I also asked him to not do anything to me that he would not want someone doing to his daughter. He said he loved me and could never do anything to hurt me.

I told him that I understood if I wasn’t what he wanted and even told him he could stay here on the couch until he found an apartment if he didn’t want to be with me as long as he was honest with me.

He told me that was an insane thing to say and that he feels bad that I have to live with these thoughts in my head, as there was no reason to think these things.

Every time we went out, people would approach us and tell us what a cute couple we were, how envious they were of us. He said others were not just seeing me in love with him, but two people who were truly in love.

He said they wouldn’t see if it if it wasn’t real.

In the meantime, I continued to pay for all the utility bills, most of the food and the mortgage with no offer to pay his share.

I cooked him breakfast every single morning and brought it to him as he sat on the couch.

If the cookie jar was empty, he reminded me by sweetly saying, “Baby, I need cookies.” I would run to the store to get the ingredients to bake him a batch of his favorite cookies.

Shane. Another email.

This time, he was talking about a trip to Vancouver BC. He said, “This sounds so much like us.”

I asked what he referred to “Us” to another woman and he told me I was paranoid.

He said he was referring to he and I as “Us”. He said that his friend had just done this trip and told him about it. He claimed he was telling his friend that he and I would love to go there.

My head was spinning. Why was he making me feel like I was insane?

And then later, there was the email with him reprimanding her for not answering her cell phone.

She was apologizing and called him “baby” in the email. She said she was so sorry and forgot her phone at home.

Why would a broker have to apologize for not answering her cell phone?

Of course he had an answer. He had an answer for everything.

She was supposed to get back to him about something important in reference to a client and didn’t do what she was supposed to do.

He said he was sick of people not following through, which was why his deals were not closing.

But “baby”? Why was she calling him that????

He got angry at me and said a lot of people use baby and sweetheart, but it doesn’t mean anything. He said maybe it was an Asian thing.

Baby was what he called me. Baby obviously didn’t mean anything to him….I wasn’t his baby.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Was it time to make him leave?

Every time I thought I could do it, he would smile and tell me how much he loved me.

I said I just didn’t want to share him with anyone else and he said I didn’t have to and that I had him.

But I didn’t. He started to close his computer every time he walked away from it.

This wasn’t normal behavior. What was he hiding?

I never closed my computer.

I left my phone on the coffee table in front of him. I didn’t care if he went through my emails or messages. A person who has nothing to hide doesn’t care.

He started bringing the phone in the bathroom with him. He wouldn’t leave it out when he left the room.

I told him I was tired of everything being secret. He told me that as soon as he had his money, everything would be normal.

He said that he couldn‘t tell his family yet because he hadn’t closed his deal.

He said his kids would not understand how their father could be living with another woman and not taking care of them. He said this would destroy them to think they were less important than me and I had to understand this.

He said all of this would stop as soon as he got the money.

Tomorrow: Part 3 – More and more women



3 Comments on "Why am I not trusting the love of my life? Part 2 of 4"

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  1. Jan7 says:

    your story is all so familiar. He was my husband and he was sooo busy “building the business”. All of his “urgent” phones calls was him talking with his dozen or so mistresses all over the country. Thank goodness I left him. They are so masterful at quick responses that will leave your head spinning with confusion. No mind peace what so ever with these evil sociopaths.

    I think it does not matter how you meet them they will con you if you meet the old fashion way through friends like me or on the net. Either way you must always follow your gut. If a person seems to good to be true, they are manipulating you on some level.



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  2. Laura-Marie says:

    You are right. I’ve met plenty of liars in person as well, but this man took lying to a whole new level that I never thought was possible. Thank goodness you got out when you did.



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  3. Saskgirl says:

    Wow….just reading this story is enough to bring the anxiety sweats back! The story is very similar to what I went through. The jerk that hooked me would text the woman he was formerly intimate with and swear that she was texting him. I raised a huge stink and since the phone bill was in my name, we changed his number…a few weeks later, he was back to texting her. He had no idea how she got his new number, especially since it was in my name and it was an unlisted cell number…he was a surprised as I was. He would lock his computer because he didn’t want me snooping…especially since he was active on Adult Friend Finder and SandySwings and a variety of other sex related web sites. I did get on once and found all kinds of crap…he looked me in the face and told me that someone must’ve hacked his computer and I was absolutely insane. He had some run ins with the Calgary Police Service (he is a person of interest in his wife’s unsolved murder) and I jokingly suggested that maybe it was the CPS and they were trying to ruin his “new” life….I got a lot of abuse for that one and was told under no circumstances was I allowed to touch his computer, phone or any electronic device. He even stopped driving my car and told me I couldn’t drive his vehicle because he was afraid the CPS had tracking devices on his vehicle and I was the one who put them there….
    These people are outright nuts.
    I’ve had 3 years of recovery… good luck girly…. you will certainly need it. My heart goes out to you. After 3 years of recovery, I am reading your story and still reliving mine. Lots of love to you
    Saskgirl



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