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Woman killed by ex-boyfriend after judges deny three restraining orders

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Alicia West

Alicia West, 33, from Caddo Parish, La., died when her throat was slashed by abusive ex-boyfriend, 26-year-old Kelvin Brown.

This was after three separate temporary restraining orders that she filed against him were denied.

According to KTBS in Shreveport, La.,Brown broke out the windows of West’s home, tampered with the alarm system, set small fires outside her window and relentlessly sent her harassing texts and phone calls — yet one judge stated that she did not ‘state sufficient facts to constitute a violation of the Domestic Abuse Act.’

West was however granted a temporary restraining order in Bossier Parish, where she worked and where Brown lived. That didn’t do her much good as Brown waited in her bushes with a knife in his hand.

Brown is facing a charge of second degree murder.

Shreveport woman stabbed to death was denied three restraining orders against ex-boyfriend, from KTBS.com

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

 



11 Comments on "Woman killed by ex-boyfriend after judges deny three restraining orders"

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  1. princessleonor says:

    This is just horrible. I still believe this needs to change. A person that is in fear for any reason, should be protected! omg!



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  2. gatitosmommy says:

    A catch with restraining orders, though, is individuals who don’t care about other people’s rights generally don’t care what the courts say, either. I doubt if many sociopaths actually abide by the orders even when they do exist.



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    • Escapefor1 says:

      That may often be true. I recently took out a restraining order against my ex-H. So far, this has stopped his harrassment and threats. He knows others know and will look to him if there is a problem. All is finally quiet. So, it can work.

      Oh, and I should say, I tried once before years ago and my motion was denied. The nastiness and threats escalated in the meantime to a more obvious point. So, it can make sense to try again later. What also helped was a change in the understanding of domestic violence in the meantime. It has broadened to be more inclusive, and recognize threats earlier.

      My ex put in writing and said repeatedly that he did not care what the court said in our divorce court order. But he did apparently care what the restraining order said.



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  3. NotWhatHeSaidofMe says:

    This tragedy is another example. The LAW is only for SOME people. You MUST, if you chose to LIVE, take care of yourself. 1) Make a paper trail. The police MUST take your complaint, even if they refuse to pursue charges against the one who assaults you. 2) Research the LAW about protection against assault. 3) Get your own security. Mine is multilayered, defensive/support/protective/and if necessary and without warning (because I have already determined when THAT line is crossed, Lethal.

    This vulnerable woman should NOT have died. But… she trusted the LAW. That was a BIG mistake that cost her life.



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  4. TJJ79 says:

    Unfortunately very few police officers receive training in dealing with domestic abuse incidents. Apparently they don’t have the funding to give training to current police officers. In the five years I suffered severe domestic violence/abuse/harassment I met hundreds of police officers and neither one of them had a clue about the domestic abuse cycle, several officers over the years said me “women like myself must enjoy it being beaten and knocked about because we keep going back to it!” Some incidents i reported were never logged. He would beat me unconscious then run from my house and avoid capture (while he remained in the same town) for months on end and i would ring the police again after spotting him walking the streets and they would advice me to keep my doors locked until a officer attended which days would go by and still no show. I begged for a refuge and help from a trained officer and i was told they would forward my details onto them but i never got a call. It took 30+ incidents & four jail sentences before i was offered any form of support and by then i was hospitalised, my two children were taken to stay with relatives, & i was left traumatised in fear and shock. That were 7 years ago and not much as changed from what i read in papers, or news with protecting vulnerable women and children. I have no faith in police whatsoever, its duties and its apparent laws. What’s the point if neither are enforced. I’ve got to a point in life that nothing shocks me anymore.



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    • Jan7 says:

      TJJ79, Your post is heartbreaking…I am so sorry you endured so much hell without any support. For me I went to three different marriage counselors with my ex h and told them every trait of a sociopath (without me knowing) when describing my ex h’s behavior and not one explained to me what mental/emotional abuse was ie gas lighting, pity play etc or that I was married to a sociopath. Before marriage counseling I was leaving, my ex begged me to go to counseling I stayed another 7 years in hell thanks to no support or guidance for the counselors…my ex manipulated each one of them and they had no clue he was manipulating them just like I did not fully understand at the time. Only after I literally escaped and found a individual counselor did I learn the truth within that first session!!

      So much pain for our society and it could all stop if they taught what Donna teaches right here at Lovefraud in middle school, high school



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      • TJJ79 says:

        Jan7
        I completely agree with you.
        I’m also baffled why my domestic abuse outreach worker never mentioned to me anything about psychopaths! She had 25 years experience in working with abused women and was very good at her job but i am now curious to know if she knew anything about psychopaths because if she did…then why didn’t she tell me! I was traumatised and very naive when i was first introduced to her and didn’t understand domestic violence at all.

        She educated me about the domestic abuse cycle and talked to me at great length about abusive men, The warning signs, and the patterns of abusive behavior. I met up with her on a weekly basis and we would go for a coffee and a chat. She attended all court hearings with me when i gave evidence,& she came to the hospital in the middle of the night & sat with me at my bedside when i was admitted with serious injuries. She was the only person i trusted because she understood and never judged me.
        She was my worker for 3 years when she said she felt i was now ready to move on with my life without her support. I know the job got her down and affected her and she would go home at night thinking about the victims she’d been with that day. I asked her why she did the job & i will never forget what she told me. She told me she started working with victims of abuse as she felt she had let her friend down many years ago.

        She said she was 19 at the time and her best friend was the same age and they had been through school together. Her friend had just had a baby and had split up with her partner who had been abusive to her. He had then gone to her house in the middle of the night and talked his way into her home, Then beaten, Raped and strangled her to death while her baby slept upstairs. I knew my worker had a son in his twenties who would call her sometimes on her mobile when she was with me. She said he was not her real son, but her friends son and she had brought him up after her friend was murdered. At the time when she told me this I had a 8 month old daughter (& a son who was 7 years old) and she feared the same thing would happen to me. My ex wasn’t anyone who interested me, wasn’t my type but i realise now how he ended up in my company. I met him through a friend and he used pity play telling me about his abusive upbringing with his stepfather and how devastated he was that his mother was now dying of cancer. I was there when his mother died, she gave me a gold chain from around her neck a few days before she died. I went to the funeral with welt marks around my neck covered with a neck scarve where my ex had tried to strangle me the night before. He stood there in church with a blank stare and never shed a tear for his mother. I never understood that. I tried to help him, & thought i could change him…and now when i look back i so do wish someone had told me he could never be changed! Because he was a sociopath!
        I only learnt about sociopaths in march last year while researching emotional abuse after yet another relationship with an abusive person.
        It wasn’t a physically violent relationship so I couldn’t make sense or explain why i felt confused much of the time and didnt know why i was feeling unhappy & depressed.
        I found a book on amazon which led me to lovefraud…and then omg it clicked! After spending a life time around them! My parents are sociopaths & the majority of my extended family are too.
        I actually spent my whole life thinking something was wrong with me as i didnt fit in and was different to the people around me.
        I’m 36 years old and its sad to know i have only just found out that my whole life has been wasted on emotionally dead people.
        The hardest part is trying to get across to my own children about these people & how to protect themselves.
        When i tried to explain it to my eldest son who is now 16 his reply was “Mum if you go around saying things like that then people will start to think your mental!” For now I rest my case!



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        • Jan7 says:

          TJJ79, This is what our society as a whole does not understand the masterful manipulation of a sociopath ie pity play, mind control, gas lighting etc. I was one of them before meeting my ex h who had zero interested in dating him & did not want to marry him. He too was soooo masterful at pity play…uhhh when he used it on me I would just think are you kidding me but he is so good even in the court house he uses it with the judge and everyone and they too believe his con…they too get sucked into his con game without even realizing it. Sociopaths know exactly what they are doing and everyone gets sucked in but still the blame the victim for staying.

          Wow what a story about your outreach worker. I think one of the best things you can do is send her a letter listing sites like Lovefraud, psychopathfree, psychopathyawareness. wordpress. plus a list of books so that she can be fully educated. I found the same thing with our local domestic abuse center. it seemed like those that went to outside counseling knew the truth but those within the centers counseling were either not told or the counselors I guess did not know themselves. I think if the counselors were educated then they would tell the victims the truth and the victims would have a major light bulb moment and know that their abuser would not change ever.

          The day (really the second) that, that new counselor told me that my then husband was a psychopath was the day that I was able to mentally end my marriage right then and there. I had my answer that I had been praying for. I think for most victims they need concrete proof. I just dont get why this is not discussed by generations of past victims that have learned the truth…why doesnt the worlds counselors speak this truth or domestic abuse centers or magazines, newspapers, tv etc?

          Thank you for sharing your story…I am so glad that you are away from your abuser. As for your son you have planted the seeds in his mind and one day he will run into a sociopath and your seeds will save him from the evil grips of a sociopath.



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          • TJJ79 says:

            Jan7
            Like yourself i too have that question about counsellors, and local abuse projects not educating victims about psychopaths, Like yourself i would have left alot sooner had i known what was wrong with him!
            I would have contacted my previous outreach worker about lovefraud ect but when i last emailed her i got a reply from her manager who said she had left her job after long term sickness. I think this was because she had a hysterectomy after experiencing terrible symptoms from going through the menopause. I asked her to pass on my regards and i do miss her very much as she was such a strong and determined woman who never let me down which i have so much to thank her for.
            As for your ex husband wow he sounds so much like my ex! With his manipulation of others he too was a master at this game & very clever how well he sucked people in! Although i did come to know alot of people did suss him out eventually but just never let on to him because they were frightened of him! Knowing that people fear him keeps him going and makes him feel alive! He used to tell me some sadistic stories about what he has done to people, which i never did know if these were true although i knew he was very much capable.
            The police describe him “As a very dangerous individual” and they never attempted to arrest him unless they were in numbers with police dogs and armed with cs gas and batons.
            Its a pity guns aren’t used by police officers here in UK like in USA as im sure they would have gunned him down by now had they had the chance.

            One officer came back to my house once after he was arrested to let me know “They were teaching him to keep his hands to himself!” When i asked what he meant by that- He said they pinned him down on the cell floor and put tie wraps on his ankles and wrists then bent his legs backwards up his back and fastened his ankles to his wrists securely and then left him in that position on the cell floor!! Ha!

            I just hope things change soon and they introduce training to the professionals who have to work with these predators as well as the victims because its rife with sociopaths in my hometown- and yet nobody that i know of knows anything about them!

            I asked a couple of friends if they know what a psychopath is? The first friend replied “a crazed mad man who is insane!” The other friend replied “A murderer?!” Omg! little do they know they are actually surrounded by these people!
            I didn’t even try to explain it.. However I’m always looking for ways on how i can change peoples “wrong” beliefs without appearing like im the crazy one!

            I did a free online program last year on domestic abuse and i received a certificate upon completion. I found it very useful and it opened my eyes to how bad things really are..
            One article read:- In Britain, 112 women a year are killed by a male partner or former partner (which is equivalent to one woman murdered every 3 days!) That is quite a shocking number considering the forever changing laws on domestic abuse over the years!
            It will be interesting to see if the most recent changes in UK law on domestic abuse offences for coercive and controlling behaviour makes any difference..

            -Regards Tracey

    • NotWhatHeSaidofMe says:

      DECENCY does not require training. It requires humanity, missing in so many people in this self absorbed, ain’t I cool, do what I say, self entitled, society.



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  5. Jan7 says:

    The only way to wake up judges is for the families of murdered victims failing to get a restraining order is to sue this judge who refused to issue a restraining order and also the County Court that the judge proceeded over. Only when Judges realize their are consequences for THEIR actions/decisions/lack of education of domestic abuse will their be a change.

    I also believe every employee in the court system ie judges, office workers etc should be mandated to take a course on personality disorders and how to spot the true signs of a emotional/mental abused victim and how to spot a abuser (ie narcissist, sociopath etc).

    Very sad for this victim and her family. May she RIP.



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