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Archive for November, 2014

How to divorce a narcissist

scaleDivorce coach and founder of The Inspired Divorce, Lindsey Ellison, says that “divorcing a narcissist may be the toughest fight of your life.”

While doing her research for her blog:  Secret to Engaging a Narcissist, Ellison came upon Robert Farzad, president of Farzad Family Law in Orange County, California, who believes that those divorcing a narcissist “lose” their case because they never have a strategy and end up surrendering.

Farzad says that “all of your emotions and what you feel are irrelevant. The minute you react to that person, you are already losing the battle.” Farzad  suggests if you’re divorcing a narcissist, “stop feeling and start thinking.”

The Secret to Divorcing a Narcissist: ‘Stop Feeling, Start Thinking’, from HuffingtonPost.com. (Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.)

Did you divorce a narcissist? If so, what worked, and what didn’t? Please share your thoughts with other Lovefraud readers.

 

The sociopath left me to go back to his wife 5 times over the past 14 years

Spath TalesEditor’s Note:  This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Tilly Marie.”

I’ve been involved with a sociopath for over 14 years. We met at work and fell in love. At least I did.

We were both married to other people at the time, and there has been a merry dance led between myself and his wife ever since — he leaves her, sets up home with me, kicks me out, there’s a dramatic showdown, then he ignores me for weeks or months.

This has happened five times in 14 years — that last time being a few weeks ago.

I could never fully understand the reasons why he did this, to me or to her. He’s painted me as crazy to her and her as crazy to me. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

UK broadens definition of domestic abuse to include controlling, coercive and threatening behavior

Woman-in-depression-300x200British Home Secretary Theresa May wants men and women who trap their partners in a cycle of emotional cruelty to be prosecuted and jailed under tough new laws proposed by ministers.

Police and prosecutors would be expected to take action against those who trap their partners in a “living hell” through a campaign of psychological and financial control.

Last year, the British government broadened the definition of domestic abuse to encompass “any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse, between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality.”

New law to imprison bullying partners: Theresa May set to unveil plans to create domestic abuse offence that would carry maximum five year sentence, from Mail Online.

More Info:

Posted in: Laws and courts

After the Will Jordan case, New Jersey may make rape by fraud a crime

Mischele Lewis and Will Jordan

Michele Lewis, left, and Will Jordan, attended friend’s wedding.

William Allen Jordan, a serial con artist, told multiple women that he was a secret agent to seduce them. When he spun the story for Mischele Lewis, of Florence Township, New Jersey, Jordan didn’t break any laws.

It was not illegal to create a fake identity in order to convince her to have relations with him. That may change.

The New Jersey assemblyman representing Mischele’s district, Troy Singleton, has introduced a bill that would make rape by fraud illegal. Lovefraud hopes this measure becomes law.

Rape by fraud? N.J. lawmaker introduces bill to make it a crime, on NJ.com.

Of course, Lovefraud broke the Will Jordan story with the Daily Mail:

EXCLUSIVE: Moment heartbroken woman conned by globally infamous fraudster, bigamist and fake CIA agent turned the tables on him in a New Jersey parking lot police sting, on DailyMail.co.uk.

I still can’t believe he convinced me to stay

Editor’s Note: This Spath Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call
“Peggy-Elizabeth.”

Spath TalesI met him in 1997 and eloped in 1998.

Even though that little voice inside told me not to, I still married him. I found that I took my vows more seriously than he EVER did.

He’s cheated on me since day one. He’s lied, cheated, stolen money, forged checks, pawned all of MY belongings, used my credit cards, gave my clothes to girlfriends and only he knows what else.

Obviously, I didn’t know all this then but I had my suspicions, yet when I began distancing myself again, the story of him being a victim of child molestation emerged. This caused a major rift in his family, and now being his wife, of only weeks at this point, I felt I couldn’t abandon him.

‘Sociopath’ — A Poem

Editor’s Note: This poem was written by a Lovefraud reader.

Sociopath

By J. Boehm

Aren’t we taught there is good in every person?
But some are so evil you couldn’t imagine

Living with us in greater numbers than you can fathom
With no conscience to hinder their action

Their charm and wit gets us every time
Along with abundant compliments sublime

They will make you feel sorry for them too
With sad stories they never even went through

Every word they say is a lie
They are experts at feigning a cry

You may have reached out to a human shell
Believing all the lies they tell

If they hook you because of your trusting nature
You are not to blame for your kind gesture

They are practiced masters of deception
For those who have not yet learned the lesson

 

Free Shipping for the holidays on books from the Lovefraud Store!

All 3 Lovefraud books

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Order any books from the Lovefraud Store from now through the end of the year and shipping is free! (Offer is for U.S. addresses only.)

Plus, if you order two or more books, you’ll receive 10% off each item!

Choose from:

Red Flags of Love Fraud — 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath
By Donna Andersen
You’ll also get the Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook, absolutely free! The Workbook is only available from Lovefraud.com.

Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan
By Donna Andersen

All 3 Lovefraud books — 30% off
Red Flags, Red Flags Workbook, and Love Fraud

Living and Loving After Betrayal — How to heal from emotional abuse, deceit, infidelity and chronic resentment
By Steven Stosny, Ph.D.

Why relationships with sociopaths are so addictive

Red recycleTime and time again, when I do personal consultations, people tell me how they struggle to break away from a relationship with a sociopath.

You know the involvement is bad for you. But even when you’re not forced to interact with the sociopath — you’re not married, don’t have kids with the person and don’t work together — you can’t cut the cord.

Why? Because relationships with sociopaths are highly addictive.

There are psychological and biological reasons for this, which I’ll explain.

Psychological bond

Any time two human beings enter into a relationship, a psychological love bond forms.

This bond begins early in the relationship because of pleasure. In the beginning, both people are doing their best to attract and impress each other. The new involvement is fun and exciting, which creates the pleasure.

Pastor charged with setting fire to his house in plot to kill his wife

Donald Lafferty

Donald Lafferty

Here’s an unbelievable story that’s a few months old, but has just been sent to us by a Lovefraud reader.

Donald Lafferty, 69, a pastor from Missouri, was charged with plotting to burn down his house, with his wife in it. He enlisted his young mistress and her husband in the scheme.

Lafferty was also charged with financially exploiting his elderly mother and had previously swindled his sister.

Arson, murder plot alleged with ex-area pastor, on SEMissourian.com

Ex-pastor’s mother, ex-wife, daughter testify at bond hearing, on SEMissourian.com.

 

 

Posted in: Uncategorized

Never send money to Nigerians or others you meet online

Lovefraud received the following email from a reader

Just want to know if I am right on this. I am communicating with 4 guys on the Internet and all have asked for money. They have all sent me pictures of them and the kids, to prove they are “real.” Also have cell phone numbers.

They are all in Nigeria “working” and seem to have one problem or another.

One has finished his job and has been paid, but cannot cash the check. He wants me to send him money to come home on; I have refused.

One is still working in Nigeria and needs me to repay a loan for him because he cannot send money out of the country…I refused.

One cannot use his credit cards in Nigeria and needs me to send him money to live on down there; I have refused.

Posted in: Uncategorized