He was the president of a youth football league and VP at a company that I discovered he had been stealing from for 30 years. His boss completely trusted him, as well as everyone that knew him or thought they did.
My children, his step children, thought that he walked on water.
He was subtly controlling in the beginning and played mind games. He would tell me things like, “we already talked about that.” I couldn’t remember if we did or didn’t and began to question my sanity.
I became severely depressed after six years and was hospitalized. I thought I should be happy, because everyone else thought he was a great man.
I finally found a male therapist who sees through his crazy making.
Through therapy I become stronger. He gets some therapy. We get some. And then I start digging and that’s when I open a can of worms that come crawling out with rattlesnakes.
After I filed for divorce, I still had to live in the same home with him for the most horrific five months of my life. I then realized that I had lived with a true pathological liar who was methodical, deceptive, calculating, without a conscience, an adulterer, scandalous and a chameleon.
He tormented me for five months up until the morning I left.
I had to lock up all my paperwork, keep some at my son’s, keep changing passwords on my phone and laptop. Have them and my purse next to me when I slept.
I finally got a lockbox. One night after I left, I recorded him trying to pry open the lock box.
I had to take my phone into the bathroom with me when I took a bath.
He had everything locked up at his job and had for years.
I lived this way every single day for five months.
He did much more, and I think I was close to breaking. I went from 117 pounds to 102 pounds. I developed tremors.
As I read about the sociopathic traits, I can look back and see so many.
I am still going through the divorce. He is fighting me about money.
We just completed interrogatories and he has put ‘NO’ on every question concerning dating or infidelity, despite my knowing he was having an affair with one of his young recruiters. He has told her to lie, I’m sure.
He acts so smug and sure of his not being caught, it’s disgusting.
We discovered he makes more than what he originally put down. And he failed to list a financial institution on his interrogatories. I guess he assumed I forgot.
So, even the very best con men do mess up.
My family and adult children had a very hard time believing it initially. I don’t think they could bear to.
I have finally processed it, but know that trust will always be a big issue.
A friend heard my story and said it would make a great Lifetime TV movie. I used to watch similar stories on TV, but never to this degree, and I would think, wow, how horrible. I’m so glad I have a good husband.
And then, it was me.