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Archive for June, 2014

Social service agencies: Join the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide for FREE!

Therapist and patient

If you’re involved with a social service agency that can offer assistance to Lovefraud readers, will you please let our healing community know about your work?

Or, if you’ve been helped by an agency that understands what happens when people are targeted by sociopaths, will you tell us about them?

Every month, approximately 100,000 people visit Lovefraud. Readers are here because they are involved with someone — a romantic partner, family member, business associate or acquaintance — who is making their life crazy.

They’re looking for information — Lovefraud has plenty of that. But often they’re also looking for support in their efforts to disentangle themselves from the exploiters.

Readers also contact Lovefraud via phone and email, looking for resources where they live.

I don’t know what to tell them, which is distressing for me.

Psychopathy experts discuss the role media plays in mass shootings

austin-clock--tower-web

On August 1, 1966, Charles Whitman fired almost unimpeded for 96 minutes from the University of Texas, Austin tower — changing forever, the feeling of safe public space. (Photo by Tracy Andersen.)

Dr. Richard A. Friedman, Professor of Clinical Psychiatry and Director of the Psychopharmacology Clinic at Weill Cornell Medical College, recently published an Op-Ed piece in the New York Times addressing the recent spate of mass shootings:

Why Can’t Doctors Identify Killers?

Mary Ellen O’Toole, Editor in Chief of Violence and Gender Journal, psychopathy researcher, and Senior FBI Profiler, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Ret.), posted this response to Friedman in the Violence and Gender Journal:

A Different Perspective on the UCSB Mass Murderer

And Jacqueline B. Helfgott, Ph.D., author of Criminal Behavior: Theories, Typologies, and Criminal Justice, expressed her opinions on Crosscut.com:

Fame, media and mass shootings: Culture plays a role in creating these tragedies, in Crosscut.com.

Women create educational video on sociopathy

Jade Joddle, and her business partner, Charlotte, create animated videos that offer information on love, relationships and personality disorders.

One of the videos that content manager, Jade, and illustrator, Charlotte, collaborated on  may be of interest to Lovefraud readers:

Sociopath Quiz: Have you fallen in love with a sociopath?

Link supplied by Lovefraud reader.

Sandusky could have been arrested three years earlier

Jerry Sandusky

Jerry Sandusky

A report compiled by former federal prosecutor Geoffrey Moulton and released by the Pennsylvania attorney general’s office on this week revealed that Jerry Sandusky, Penn State sexual predator, got a three-year stay-out-of- jail pass prior to his arrest because the Pennsylvania agencies  responsible for investigating the case failed to share information with one another.

The report said that ‘inexplicable delays and poor decisions made in 2009 led to the serial child molester’ escaping justice. Sandusky was interviewed by a social worker in 2009 after charges from one victim were documented.

From 2009 until 2011, no witnesses were interviewed, no witnesses testified in the grand jury and no grand jury subpoenas were issued. Moulton wrote in the report that the basis for that decision was that one accuser’s testimony wouldn’t be enough to convict Sandusky and an acquittal would make it harder to file more charges later.

Posted in: Uncategorized

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Can you count the love bombing red flags?

Editor’s Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by reader whom we’ll call “ProudMom.”

This was a text conversation between my 19 yr old daughter and a guy she’d only known at work for like 2 weeks. He’s already gotten her flowers, a wallet from her favorite superhero and it contained a special $2.00 bill inside of it. She saw the red flags but after making up excuses 3x previously, she was kind of worn down and was going to just humor him with one date so there wouldn’t be gossip.

She only saw the red flags because her sociopath father tried to kill both of us and we took classes. The creeper reminded her of her father, who was also pushy and also always carried the coveted $2.00 bill in his wallet.

(D) daughter
(C) creeper

21 days — 21 relationship experts

Couple making heartAre you experiencing endless self-doubt and frequent hopelessness about ever having the loving, trusting and fulfilling relationship that you want and deserve?

You don’t have to live that way! Learn how to thrive — not just survive!

If you are experiencing pain and uncertainty in your love life — a likely result after an involvement with a sociopath — then you’re not going to want to miss the free virtual event Heartache To Bliss – 21 Experts Reveal How to Reinvent Your Love Life.

This is a series of 21 free daily tele-seminars, from July 1, 2014 through July 21, 2014. Each tele-seminar is an interview with a different relationship expert.

I’m one of the experts. I explain the “Red Flags of Lovefraud.”

Mischele Lewis receives ‘Nicole’s Law’ restraining order against William Allen Jordan

William Allen Jordan

William Allen Jordan mug shot.

Editor’s note: Joyce M. Short is the author of “Carnal Abuse by Deceit — How a Predator’s Lies Became Rape.”

Our Unity Has the Power to Make a Radical Change

By Joyce Short

Although Judge John Tomasello flatly refused to issue a restraining order to protect Mischele Lewis, a victim of sexual assault by coercion, his absurd, misogynist decision was rendered to the trash heap where it belonged.

As a result of the media exposure on the issue, through this blog and additional coverage, I was contacted by Michelle Noberto, the outraged mom of a prior sexual assault victim.  ”Nicoles Law,” named for her daughter, which makes restraining orders automatic in sexual assault cases, had been grossly overlooked.

BOOK REVIEW: The Sociopath at the Breakfast Table

Sociopath at the breakfast tableI recently received a review copy of The Sociopath at the Breakfast Table — Recognizing and dealing with antisocial and manipulative people. The book was written by Dr. Jane McGregor, a lecturer at Nottingham University Institute of Mental Health, and Tim McGregor, a consultant, writer and mental health practitioner.

This is a slender volume, only 111 pages, plus appendix, index and resource listing. It provides a good overview of the sociopathic disorder, how sociopaths affect their targets, and what targets can do to recover. However, if you’re looking for a thorough discussion of these topics, you’ll need to augment your reading with other sources.

The sociopathic transaction

One of concepts proposed by the authors was very interesting — the “Sociopath-Empath-Apath Triad.” The term describes three types of people:

  • Sociopath — the one with the personality disorder
  • Empath — an individual who is highly perceptive, insightful and sensitive to another’s emotions

Canadian con man’s death ruled a homicide

Timothy Szabolcsi

Timothy Szabolcsi

Timothy Szabolcsi, 52, was found shot dead inside his Surrey, British Columbia home on Friday morning, according to Surrey RCMP. It appeared to be a targeted attack, and someone called police from inside the home. Investigators are treating his death as a homicide. No arrests have been made at this time.

Szabolcsi had been known to use  multiple identities to scam companies and deceive women across North America. Last year, the CBC News I-Team uncovered that Szabolcsi had formerly presented himself as a doctor, a NASCAR driver, a pilot, a youth pastor and a professional hockey player.

Con man Timothy Szabolcsi shot dead in Surrey, B.C., from CBC News.

Szabolsci was previously married to a Lovefraud reader, Sheri Brown, also of British Columbia. Brown told her story on the Dr. Phil Show.

Lovefraud reader’s case on Dr. Phil Monday

Why we need to talk about our experiences with sociopaths

Most of us at Lovefraud are here because we’ve been conned, duped, deceived and betrayed by a sociopath.

Once we finally figure out what we are dealing with, many of us do not tell other people what really happened. After all, it’s embarrassing to admit that no, we didn’t see it coming, and yes, we fell for the scam. And if we do venture to describe the sociopath’s true behavior, we may be met by disbelief. “What? That charming person couldn’t possibly have done that. You must have misinterpreted.”

We quickly learn that people do not understand what we are talking about. Either they don’t believe us, or ostracize us. So we stop talking. We try to hide what happened, even from ourselves.

Our silence on being betrayed by sociopaths has two effects:

  1. Our pain is bottled up within us, impeding our own recovery