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BOOK REVIEW: Carnal Abuse by Deceit

Carnal Abuse by DeceitMany, many Lovefraud readers, I am sure, will be able to relate to Joyce M. Short’s new book, Carnal Abuse by Deceit — How a Predator’s Lies Became Rape. I wish this were not the case, but it is.

Joyce lives in New York City, where she’s a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. Much of the book is her personal story, and this is what will feel so familiar to many readers.

Joyce writes about her outwardly successful, well-off family of origin — and what was really going on behind closed doors. Here’s a hint: Her father wasn’t necessarily the upstanding citizen that he presented himself to be.

She writes about young, handsome and successful man who swept her off her feet. Although he was handsome, he was not as young and successful as he pretended to be. And he certainly was not a loving partner. In fact, the cruelty with which this man abandoned Joyce and their son would be shocking to most people, although not to Lovefraud readers.

Finally, Joyce writes about the heartbreak of raising a son who inherited much of his father’s disposition. This was years before there was awareness of personality disorders among mental health professionals (not that there’s much awareness now). Joyce struggled alone, for years hoping that her ex would be involved with their son’s life. When the man finally did become involved, things went from horrible to devastating.

Why it happens, what should be done

Along with her personal story, Joyce describes the neurologic and chemical components of love — and how our own brain chemistry makes it difficult for us to escape partners that are harmful to us.

Finally, Joyce advocates for changes in the law. She believes that people who have consented to sex with people who did not represent themselves truthfully are victims of crimes. Some U.S. states do have laws about “rape by fraud,” but, according to Joyce, they are inadequate and seldom enforced. She would like to see people who defraud others into consensual sex prosecuted. Joyce considers them to be sexual predators.

Carnal Abuse by Deceit offers Lovefraud readers validation. And it offers our larger society an approach for criminalizing rape by fraud.

Carnal Abuse by Deceit is available on Amazon.com.



10 Comments on "BOOK REVIEW: Carnal Abuse by Deceit"

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  1. AnotherOne says:

    I agree with Joyce – what these people do should be prosecuted as rape.



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  2. jm_short says:

    Donna,

    Thank you so much for your supportive words.

    I’ve entered a post in my blog for folks who’d like to participate in lobbying legislators to create penal code to punish rape by fraud or deceit in the various states. Also, if they’d like more information on the present condition of the laws in their state, they will find it there. They can register at http://www.CADalert.blogspot.com.

    Additionally, I’ve created a post that folks can respond to by entering the correct information of an offender. It is entirely anonymous.

    Joyce



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  3. Barb says:

    Rape (or seduction) by fraud? Misrepresentation for having sex? Any male seduction guide will be full of ‘fraud’ and devious techniques to get a woman.
    “How to Make Her Want You in a Way She will think it was HER idea”…and far worse than this. “How to maul a woman and get away with it”…

    Some seduction guides are based on pure mind control. I laugh at some of them…

    But is this not deception and fraud? And there it is…everywhere…in print, movies, nightclubs.



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  4. jm_short says:

    Barb-

    Unfortunately, we can’t criminalize all forms of deception. Some forms of deception, however, rise to the level of “fraud.” Deception of “intent” is not one of them….. “I’ll marry you in the morning” or “I’ll love you forever” are examples of “intent.”

    One would think that people should be forthcoming in all aspects of relationships, but we know it simply isn’t so. Many of us have been bewildered by what is termed “emotional rape.” That’s what takes place when a person fools us into giving them our highest emotion, which is our “love.”

    Rape by fraud or deceit is more specifically an actionable crime. The absence of “knowing consent” would render a business transaction “fraudulent” in the eyes of the law. An “imposter” would be recognized as a “fraud.” For instance, if you misrepresented that you had an accounting degree to secure a job, and you didn’t, your contract of employment could be nullified,you’d be terminated, and there could be monetary penalties, although they are rarely pursued. If you said you were a doctor and operated on people, you’d end up in the clink.

    If an underage prostitute lies about their age, their customer can claim a “rape by fraud” defense. But even in the same states,in any other circumstance, lying about age is not a form of rape. Some states say that such an action is rape because the statutory rapist was conned into a crime……… But they don’t administer the law the same way when it comes to a woman being involved in adultery when a man lies about his marital status. Our laws are terribly sexist. In fact, the adulterer’s victim, instead of being recognized as having been raped, can be held accountable for the crime of adultery against the perpetrator’s wife.

    Identity deceit is the creation of an “imposter.” If a person lied about specific identity traits, they were physically not the person they pretended to be, and the victim had sex with a stranger. The victim gave intimacy, and in exchange, the perpetrator performed rape. Even back in 1865, case law records the recognition of such an action as “rape by fraud” and indicated that the victim is just as defiled as if assault took place.

    There are many types of rape. There is rape by assault which most people don’t argue is “rape.” But the assault itself is not the “rape.” The assault is assault. What turns assault into rape is the violation of a person’s sexual sanctity without “knowing consent.” the assault was the means by which the person was raped.

    Just as in date rape, where a person is “doped” to circumvent knowing consent, in rape by fraud, the person’s knowing consent is breached by being “duped.”

    A fuller explanation of rape by fraud appears in my book, and I’m giving the book away, free of charge for Valentine’s Day. I thought it to be an appropriate gift for those here who have suffered romance-gone-wrong. Amazon will offer the Kindle edition free of charge on the 14th through the 17th. “Goodreads” will have 10 paperbacks to give away on a first-come, first served basis on 2/14.

    My gift to my colleagues here, with love!

    Joyce



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  5. Delores says:

    Some forms of misrepresentation are already on the boods but considered obsolete. Alienation of affection and breech of promise to marry. These are both fraud and should still be prosecuted. The pendelum has swung too far to blaming the woman instead of protecting her. That Kennedy kid got away with rape because the victim took off her panyhoes to walk in the sand. Panyhoes are sox you legal jumbleheads. We wear underwear underneath.

    The boys will be boys attitude has got to end and these johns, imposters and rapests held responsible. Put them all on sex offender lists.



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    • Barb says:

      Delores

      I wrote an article for a local paper entitled, “Let’s Get Rid of the Male Privilege Attitude”. And in the article I mentioned the “boys will be boys” excuse for their behavior. I also joined an anti-pornography association and receive mail that is very shocking. “Rape” has become an accepted attitude on college campuses where parties are thrown with the intent purpose of discussing raping any girl on the campus that they wanted. You read that right. A huge party on a well known campus threw a “Fantasy Rape Night” where frat boys share who they would like to rape.
      Other things I have read from this anti-smut campaign blew me away. It is a good organization and they have succeeded in passing legislation against several entities regarding pornography and smut.



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  6. jm_short says:

    The real key to rape is whether “knowing consent” was granted. Being tricked into the sexual penetration of your body is a breach of sexual sanctity.

    Most of our penal code comes from a time when women couldn’t even vote. In Idaho, if a married woman is raped by fraud, it’s a crime. If the woman is single, it’s not. No kidding!



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  7. jm_short says:

    Barb-

    You’re so correct about the attitudes promoting abuse and rape in society today. A sense of entitlement to sex as entertainment “objectifies” and “depersonalizes.” In cases like the fraternity you mentioned, morality is bent by peer pressure. I’m wondering what possible means there is to turn that behavior around.

    Joyce



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  8. hope52 says:

    Never going to happen. I share your passion for finding ways to STOP these predators but sadly we will never be able to enforce such a law.

    Why? First of all, most of the people we vote in to represent our “best” interests are themselves PSYCHOPATHS and secondly our strong cultural conviction that “she” made him do “it” is alive and flourishing in most communities.

    Instead, I advocate for education and awareness. Sure, your hormones can take you “away” like a Calgon bath experience, but at some point we all have to take that closer look.

    Even with strong education and awareness programs we will still “lose” many.



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  9. jm_short says:

    I agree with you on education and awareness. And if my book contributes to that end, I’ll consider it an achievement. But I’m a bit of a bulldog, and I don’t give up that easily.

    The first stage of acceptance is that the conversation starts. The next is often that folks ridicule new concepts that take them out of their comfort zone. Sometimes, they even get angry. But you’ll notice that neither Andrew Weiner nor Eliot Spitzer, who both sought office after morality issues were disclosed, succeeded.

    I’m of the belief that society’s views can and are changing, and the more folks that start to talk about the book and the issue, the more chance of success there will be. That’s why I gave it away free last week. 1,130 Kindle editions were downloaded over a three day period, and requests came in for 494 paperback editions. It pushed the book to #1 in 3 categories during that time. I think that, and other efforts, can change people’s minds on rape by fraud.

    I think you’re also correct on there being a significant amount of character disordered folks in government, but I don’t believe it to be a majority.

    Joyce



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