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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How to discourage the psychopath in your life

Editor’s note: The following was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “LouAnn.” She had no choice but to deal with a psychopath.

1.    Psychopaths need stimulation. They like “fireworks.” Don’t give it to them. Either do not respond to them at all, or give them very calm, professional responses. This is called “non-reward” and it will become much less fun to bully you.

2.    When you do respond, respond slowly. Psychopaths need instant gratification. Making them wait for your response is not fun or stimulating for them.

3.    Consider not telling them about the damage they have done. They may be secretly finding glee from hurting you if they are in revenge mode, or may find satisfaction from completing some other agenda. Don’t give them that satisfaction.

4.    Find out where THEY are vulnerable. For example, they may have narcissistic tendencies and want to appear a certain way to certain groups of people. A threat of damage to that may be enough to make them back down. My psychopath likes to work with the police departments and hospitals as an expert. A restraining order slapped on him might not completely stop him from bothering me, but he knows a restraining order would embarrass him, so just the threat of that has made him back down in some ways.

5.    Pray for them. They are haunted by many demons and intense prayer can make a difference.

 



64 Comments on "LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How to discourage the psychopath in your life"

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  1. jm_short says:

    Grace-

    In response to your question regarding whether sociopaths are ever caught in a “betrayal bond”….. sociopaths are parasites. They have no deep abiding affections. They simply attach themselves to a supply of whatever they want or need. When the well runs dry, they’re off to the next host.

    Sister-Sister-

    You’d mentioned a friend who you felt you needed to give up on because they could not be enlightened regardless of the efforts you made. Unfortunately, people are extremely resistant to changing their minds, no matter what level of pain they suffer. And advice of friends and family may not be viewed as “credible.”

    Donna, myself, and many others have written our stories in order to help folks see the forest for the trees. While it’s not possible to put a subject expert in front of every resistant victim, it is possible to put the writings of someone who has lived through their circumstance in front of them. Involving your friend in a discussion on this site, or putting literature that could ring true for them into their hands, may open their thoughts in ways that may not, otherwise, succeed because books don’t feel like an argument, pressure or a confrontation. They are a passive source of information that a person can absorb at their will and at their own speed.

    All the best-
    Joyce



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  2. Kathleen says:

    If only this type of abuse could be nipped in the bud, or even stopped before it gets a chance to start by tighting up on laws regarding these social predators, who search out victims to exploit for money, sex, an easy lifestyle without working for a living, a place to live for free etc. It’s fine for the current victim who’s been dropped to move on and forget if possible but what about the next victim and the next and the n………..We need to find a way to stop the suffering of normal, caring, loving human beings at the hands of these evil people. We’re advised not to expose them but, so long as we’re safe from harm, I think they should all be exposed as much as possible in an attempt to stop the suffering.



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  3. jm_short says:

    Kathleen,

    I’m 200% with you that’s why I’m mounting an effort to do exactly that.

    I’ve written my tale of rape by fraud and launched an effort to create criminal code on this behavior throughout the US. If you are interested in helping in your state, please log onto http://www.CADalert.blogspot.com. You will see how you can privately let me know your contact information. You can also register the information about the problem you faced and identify the offender.

    Let me know if you have any difficulty doing so. Donna can put you in touch with me.

    Joyce



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  4. LouAnn says:

    Here is an article that is better than what I wrote. These are good suggestions if you can’t quite escape yet:

    http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Sociopath



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