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Archive for January, 2014

Failed Attempts at Marriage Counseling with a Sociopath

by Quinn Pierce quinn pierce blog

I sat in the small, tastefully furnished room and listened to the tick…tick…tick of the clock.  I had long since stopped listening to the conversation going on around me.

This was not the way it was supposed to be.  I stepped into the psychologist’s office less than a half hour earlier full of optimism and hope.  Unfortunately, I was, once again, realizing how naive I had been.

An Insincere Effort

For nearly a year, I had been begging and pleading with my (then) husband to come to marriage counseling.  Our relationship was deteriorating a a rate that was destined for destruction.  He always supported me and the children going to counseling, so I was amazed when he adamantly refused to go either alone or with me.

Young woman whose mother kidnapped her as a child speaks out

Back in 1994, Dorothy Barnett lost custody of her still-nursing 9 1/2-month-old daughter to her ex-husband, Benjamin Harris Todd.

According to news reports, when Barnett became pregnant, Todd originally wanted her to terminate it. Then, as they split up, Todd painted her as mentally deficient, and convinced the court in Charleston, South Carolina, to award him custody.

Fearing for her daughter’s safety, Barnett took her and disappeared for almost 20 years. In November, she was located in Australia and arrested for parental kidnapping.

The child, now called Samantha Geldenhuys, 20, never knew of her history. For the first time, she tells her story on Australian TV.

Woman kidnapped as baby by own mom now tells her side of the story, on Shine.Yahoo.com.

Here’s more reporting on the story — including some details of how Barnett escaped.

20 years of chasing Savanna: Investigators, relocator recount case, on ABCNews4.com.

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: She played the hot and cold game

Woman behind maskEditor’s Note: This letter was sent in by Lovefraud reader “truelove.”

Wow — where to start. I am in my 40s and started dating a girl in her late 20s back in April 2013. I had met her a couple years ago and thought she was a nice, caring person. We started dating and things got hot and heavy really fast. It was like a fun roller coaster ride, but little did I realize she had plans to purposely make it jump the tracks once I was most vulnerable and hooked.

Taking control

Palladino family of Massachusetts convicted in $10 million Ponzi scheme

Palladino family in court

Steven Palladino (left), with wife Lori and son Gregory at their sentencing. (Photo by Jessica Rinaldi for Boston Globe.)

Steven Palladino, his wife, Lori, and their son, Gregory, were all sentenced for running a Ponzi scheme, taking about $10 million from dozens of friends and neighbors.

Steven Palladino, the ringleader, blew the money on gambling trips to Las Vegas, expensive cars and rent  for his mistress. When his lawyer claimed Palladino was sorry, victims in the courtroom scoffed. One victim called Palladino a sociopath.

Ponzi scam brings 10-year sentence, on BostonGlobe.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

 

BOOK REVIEW: Living and Loving After Betrayal

Living and Loving After BetrayalI’ve been looking for a book to help you heal from the devastating betrayal of a sociopath. I finally found it.

Living and Loving After Betrayal — How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment, by Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is the best explanation I’ve ever read of how betrayal affects you emotionally and psychologically, and how to recover from it. In fact, I am so impressed with this book that we are now carrying it in the Lovefraud bookstore.

Why it hurts

Stosny starts the book by explaining why intimate betrayal hurts so much.

Love bonds developed because they were crucial to the survival of the human race. Back in caveman days, we needed to look out for and take care of each other. If we were alone, the chance that we’d be killed by marauders or saber-toothed tigers escalated dramatically.

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How to discourage the psychopath in your life

Editor’s note: The following was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “LouAnn.” She had no choice but to deal with a psychopath.

1.    Psychopaths need stimulation. They like “fireworks.” Don’t give it to them. Either do not respond to them at all, or give them very calm, professional responses. This is called “non-reward” and it will become much less fun to bully you.

2.    When you do respond, respond slowly. Psychopaths need instant gratification. Making them wait for your response is not fun or stimulating for them.

3.    Consider not telling them about the damage they have done. They may be secretly finding glee from hurting you if they are in revenge mode, or may find satisfaction from completing some other agenda. Don’t give them that satisfaction.

U.S. Supreme Court to hear argument for restitution payments to child porn victims

Image courtesy of suphakit73 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net"

Image courtesy of suphakit73 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Paul Cassell, a University of Utah Law Professor, is scheduled to make an argument in front of the U.S. Supreme Court that any person who views or distributes a pornographic image of a child  should be held liable for restitution to the exploited child.

If the court rules in favor of this issue, to be determined would be whether each offender found guilty of the charge would be required to  pay the full restitution amount awarded by the court, or  a proportionate amount based on the offense.

Many states are interested in stamping out child pornography and are already on board with the concept and await the ruling.

Utah law professor to make case for child-porn victims, from the Salt Lake Tribune.

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: The modus operandi of disordered partners

By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, located in Bernardsville, New Jersey

 [I will use masculine pronouns for the destructive partner for the sake of simplicity, though destructive partners are often female.]

There are a number of modus operandi a narcissistic or socio / psychopathic partner employs in a destructive relationship, as a response to your needs, complaints, or issues in the relationship.

One is that you are kept off balance. You may be feeling desperate and alone a lot in the relationship because your partner has become more distant, disengaged, angry, and rejecting (sexually and/or emotionally). Perhaps he has even become abusive. But, if you complain too much or bring up suspicious behavior, you may find he has turned back into the love struck partner who wooed you in the beginning, being attentive, engaged, “making love” to you, or giving you gifts. This makes you wonder if you were wrong about him distancing, or your suspicions. You begin to doubt your perception as any trusting partner would, and become confused. He is counting on your trusting nature to do just that.

Daisy Coleman’s mom chronicles life after rape

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Daisy Coleman went public about her rape, at the age of 14, by a 17-year-old classmate.

After rape victim Daisy Coleman’s third suicide attempt, the teen’s mother spoke out about her family.  “I’m here to tell you that if you speak ill of my family or to my daughter, I want you to know that you are a coward and a bully and you are contributing to the evil in this world.”

Coleman chronicles how, not only her daughter, but the whole family, has been impacted by the incident. Standing strong, the family has adopted the mantra the deceased father, Dr. Michael Coleman instilled in them: “Nobody is left behind. If somebody falls behind, we’re going to pick them up. And that’s what we’re going to do with our family.”

I’m the Mother of Daisy Coleman, and I’m Speaking Out After My Daughter’s Third Suicide Attempt, from Xojane.com

31 year-old female serial killer compares herself and her alleged accomplice to Bonnie and Clyde

Joanna Dennehy and her alleged accomplice Gary ‘Stretch’ Richards, 47, are on trial at Cambridge Crown Court for the murder of three men and the attempted murder of two more.

During her trial, several “selfie” photos were shown of Dennehy holding a knife, which she used on her victims. When asked why she had killed, Dennehy responded: ‘They shouldn’t have pissed me off, they shouldn’t have flirted with me.”

Three other accomplices pleaded guilty to some involvement in the murders as well.

Selfies of a female serial killer on the run: Woman who stabbed three men in the heart pictured with a terrifying knife while dodging police with her alleged accomplice from DailyMail Online.