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Archive for 2014

Know the signs of emotional abuse

Woman-in-depression-300x200Emotional abuse in a marriage is a covert form of domestic violence. But by the time you identify the true problem, you may already feel like you are crazy. You doubt yourself and your own sense of reality, because emotional abuse is meant to cause you to question your every thought and behavior.

An article on About.com does an excellent job of explaining emotional abuse.  It covers:

  • Warning signs of emotional abuse
  • How the victim feels
  • Biderman’s chart of coercion
  • When you should seek help

Are You a Victim of Emotional Abuse? from divorcesupport.about.com.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader

 

My Bill Cosby experience: Did I dodge a bullet?

Bill CosbyA Lovefraud reader asked me to write about the Bill Cosby scandal. A total of 27 women have publicly come forward to tell their stories of being sexually assaulted by the famous comedian.

A complete list of the women who have accused Bill Cosby of sexual assault, on Slate.com.

As I read the accounts, I kept seeing virtually the same story, over and over.

Many of the women were young models and actresses who claim Cosby made a pretense of offering them career advice. One woman, however, was a 19-year-old waitress who said Cosby offered her a ride home and then assaulted her. Another woman was 19 when Cosby approached her in a gift shop at the Las Vegas Hilton, where he was performing, and invited her backstage. She says she was drugged, and woke up to find him having sex with her in the green room bathroom.

I was chewed up and spit out in a ‘classic’ manner and at record speed

Spath Tales Editor’s Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name “two is enough.”

I have been involved with not one, but two, sociopaths, just over a decade apart.

I encountered the first when I was 19 years old — young, naive, and utterly ignorant to the existence of personality disorders. The damage I incurred was mind-bogglingly devastating — I died emotionally, and, quite literally almost physically, from his abuse.

In time though, I learned to be kind to myself over becoming a victim, because I truly didn’t see it coming.

Once in the throes of a disordered relationship with him, I lacked the experience to tell me that this wasn’t normal or healthy.

In retrospect, he was a much lesser-developed (maybe just less experienced in wielding his “black magic” upon women) sociopath than I would experience later in life, because, honestly, again in retrospect, all the “classic” signs were there, loud and clear.

Luka Magnotta ruled guilty of murdering and dismembering Jun Lin

Luka Magnotta

Luka Magnotta

Attorneys for Luka Magnotta, a minor porn star who was accused of killing and dismembering a Chinese exchange student, and then sending his body parts in the mail, tried to argue that he was insane.

It didn’t work. Magnotta, who lived in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, was found guilty of the horrific May 2012 slaying.

Luka Magnotta, sick in the soul but not insane: DiManno, on TheStar.com.

Luka Rocco Magnotta: Is accused killer a ‘psychopath’? on TheStar.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

Merry Christmas to all Lovefraud readers!

Donna Andersen at Longwood Gardens

Donna Andersen in front of the floating Christmas trees at Longwood Gardens, Kennett Square, Pennsylvania.

Christmas is the time of peace and joy. To all Lovefraud readers, know that peace and joy are possible, even after what you’ve experienced.

Commit to your recovery. Even if you experience a few bumps in the road, keep going. Through patience and perseverance, you can become whole again, I promise you.

May the Christmas spirit help you move from the darkness to the light.

Much love to all,

Donna and Terry

 

 

Sociopaths and Christmas

guy with gifts 250x293In your dreams and desires, Christmas is a wonderful time of the year. You spend time with family and friends. You give and receive thoughtful gifts. If you are religious, you renew your faith.

Christmas is supposed to be special. Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way, but at least that’s your goal.

So how do sociopaths view Christmas?

In my opinion, sociopaths view Christmas simply as another tool in their manipulation toolbox. They know that Christmas is important to their targets — that would be you — so they figure out how to use Christmas to advance their agendas.

So, if sociopaths are in the love bombing stage, they may shower you with gifts and create unbelievably magical moments.

If they’re in the exploitation stage, they may convince you to pay for gifts for them, the kids, or other people that they’re trying to take advantage of.

Posted in: Donna Andersen

Family Law Report interview focuses on Guardian Ad Litem conflicts of interest

The Divorce Corp documentary film, book, and movement shine a bright light on the inner workings of the $50 billion a year U.S. family law industry, exposing the appalling waste and collusion seen daily in family courts.

The Family Law Report, a Divorce Court YouTube Channel talk show, recently focused on the role of Guardian Ad Litems in child custody situations. Divorce Corp Director Joe Sorge interviewed Dr. Jerry Collins of Maine Guardian Ad Litem Alert.

In part 1, they exposed the conflicts of interest within the sordid family law industry. Dr. Collins and his organization were instrumental in convincing legislators to pass a law to rein in corruption.

Part 2, talks about how the judiciary handled the new law that attempted to spoil their insider dealings.


Posted in: Laws and courts

Why psychopaths talk so much

Psychopaths tend to dominate conversation. Many of us know this first hand, but now it’s been documented in a scientific paper published last month by the Public Library of Science, PLOS.org.

Researchers brought together same-sex college students in groups of three people. None of them knew each other. The students were asked to engage in small talk. The conversations were videotaped, and researchers later analyzed who did all the talking.

It turned out that study participants with higher scores in primary psychopathy, as measured by the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale (LSRP), spoke more words and controlled the conversation more than people with lower scores.

No other traits, such as physical strength, facial attractiveness, or socioeconomic status, were linked to conversation dominance.

The paper, Subclinical primary psychopathy, but not physical formidability or attractiveness, predicts conversational dominance in a zero-acquaintance situation, was written by Josehp H. Manson, Matthew M. Gervais, Daniel M. T. Fessler, and Michelle Kline.

You can contribute to the research on female psychopaths

Female sociopath colorizedA scientific review published last year summarized the research literature about female psychopaths. But I wonder about the accuracy of the underlying information.

Three researchers from Norway, Rolf Wynn, Marita H. Hoiseth, and Gunn Pettersen, recently published the review. They concluded that when compared to male psychopaths, female psychopaths more often seem to show emotional instability, verbal violence and manipulation of social networks, and less criminal behavior and instrumental violence.

This study, which is quite readable, it explains how the disorder is defined and diagnosed. If you’d like to be familiar with the scientific community’s views of psychopathy, it’s a good overview.

Here are some highlights regarding the disorder in women:

  • There are more male psychopaths than female psychopaths.
  • Women score lower than men on the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised.
  • In one study, only 11% of female violent subjects, compared to 31% of male violent subjects, met the criteria for psychopathy.
Posted in: Donna Andersen

Woman escaped Harold Henthorn, who is being investigated in the deaths of two wives

Harold Henthorn is alleged to have killed his wife, Toni.

Harold Henthorn is alleged to have killed his wife, Toni.

On a Christian dating website, Sonserae Lees-Calver of California met Harold Henthorn, who is now suspected of murdering two wives. She says, “I think there’s a level of naivety and vulnerability in a lot of women on Christian dating sites,” according to MailOnline.

Luckily, Sonserae listened to her instincts and ended her involvement with Henthorn. She believes she “dodged a bullet.”

EXCLUSIVE: ‘I absolutely dodged a bullet’: Woman who dated man accused of murdering BOTH his wives tells how they met on the same Christian singles website where he found his second alleged victim, on DailyMail.co.uk.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Uncategorized