Editor’s note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader “Carlamac.”
I wish I had known about your website and ways to obtain support 4 years ago!!! I can’t believe I have found you! I spent 3 years with a sociopath and although he didn’t get me for money, per se, he did convince me to buy a home using a story so similar to yours …
I moved with him from New York to Florida with promises that his new business (I aided him in starting and developing) would flourish and we would end up in a house on the water with a Cigarette speed boat … etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. I left my adult children, family and an endless amount of friends on Long Island!!
It didn’t even take him 3 months to start having 3- and 2- hour conversations with his ex-wife (I thought we had ESCAPED all that by leaving New York). In the 3 years I was with him, I NEVER heard one of his conversations with his ex. He always talked to her when I wasn’t around.
It was him!
He crushed me emotionally, mentally and yes, even physically. I see myself in ALL the definitions and always KNEW it wasn’t ME, it was HIM! He would tell me he was “confused” about leaving his SECOND wife (he had cheated on her and his FIRST as well) … God, the writing was ALL OVER the walls!!! I would say: “How can you be CONFUSED?? You haven’t been with her for 8 years?? How dare you bring me into this WEB of DECEIT and LIES!” I used to think he was bi-polar, but I later realized his sociopathic tendencies.
I would break up with him and within 2 weeks’ time, he was “pining” for me and begging me to come back to him, always promising things would be better and he would PROVE to me I could trust him again. He DID move out after 4 months but we STILL saw each other, even though he was at another address. That became ridiculous financially and he moved back in. It didn’t take a MONTH for his phone calls, texts from other women, missing minutes on his phone to start.
I was a WRECK … he wondered why I drank or had to take anti-anxiety meds … it was BECAUSE of HIM!!! But yes, it was also because I was ALLOWING him! I know all that NOW!
He proceeded to make friends with seedy, low-life “characters,” making me realize I just HAD to get this guy out of my life. I noticed none of his friends have much going for them … I can only guess he picks and chooses people he can feel superior to … always has to have attention, be above or “outdo.”
Asked him to leave
He is someone else’s problem now. I finally asked him to leave the day after Christmas 2012 and although it hurt, I had made a major move and changed my life, my children’s lives, all because I thought I was in love and he “loved” me.
Sociopaths only love THEMSELVES!!!! But they are needy and oh, so convincing! He could be very loving towards me, then he would put me down/belittle me. I heard from him up until April 2013, even AFTER he put “In a Relationship” on Facebook!! I found the strength to say no, enough was enough. I never married him, though we were engaged. It was the worst relationship of my entire life!
I warned his new “victim” … but she will have to find out for herself, and I know, in time (wasted time), she will. He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing and has the tongue of a slithering snake. A salesman by occupation, a conman, liar, sneak and cheat in life.