Editor’s note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Imara.”
Woody Allen’s new movie Blue Jasmine, starring Cate Blanchet, showcases an amazing, Oscar worthy performance by her. She portrays a woman who had it all and then lost everything, including her sanity, after she catches her psychopathic husband cheating.
I loved the movie … identified with Jasmine on so many emotive experiences … and am very grateful to the powers that be that, in the aftermath, I do not walk in her shoes!!!!
The movie portrays the plush life of Jasmine and her very successful businessman husband. He is lavish in his gift giving, and in his lifestyle. His cheating is clearly not on Jasmine’s radar. When he finally wishes to discard her, Jasmine makes a decision that is typical of a woman scorned in love. She wants revenge. And gets it.
With that, however, she unravels her life …
Story of my life
The movie was triggering for me. I lived a lush, comfortable life with my ex, who was a senior vice president in a large, multinational technology company. He used me for a front, for respectability and for sex. He was a largely absent dad to my two children.
There were red flags for sure, but then hindsight is always 20/20, and his abuse was very covert. His flagrant affair with his secretary in another country, on another continent, in a different culture, from a different generation, opened my eyes. To this day I do not know if he had cheated before. It was MY lack of awareness, and MY issues of needing to make it work, that allowed us to be married for 28 years. That learning about me has been my journey.
Like Jasmine, when I ended my marriage, I lost everything: my home, my lifestyle, my employment, my children, everything. Unlike Jasmine, I was not socially isolated, and found great support in the people I have collected in my life, both family and friends. That is the ONLY reason I do not walk in Jasmine’s shoes.
And oh yes … my absolute belief that I needed to stick to my truth and to righteousness. Unlike Jasmine, the more I was exposed to my ex’s lies, the more truthful and transparent I chose to be. That decision has saved me more times than I can count. Her inability to stick to her truth, and her desire to be different, were Jasmine’s undoing. She became less of who she really is.
To all Lovefraud readers, I wish to say please be careful if you see this movie. It is hurtful and triggering of trauma experienced by so many of us!!!!
It is certainly a well-done movie, and Blanchet will hopefully get her Oscar for her role. For those who choose to see it, take Jasmine’s life as a lesson on how NOT to be.
Blue Jasmine, on NYTimes.com.