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BOOK REVIEW: Escaping the Boy — My Life with a Sociopath

Escaping the boyMany, many people tell me that they should write a book about their experiences with a sociopath. Paula Carrasquillo is one of those who have done it.

Her novella, Escaping the boy: My life with a sociopath, is not long. The actual story is only about 50 pages, with plenty of white space. But in those few pages, Paula tells a powerful narrative of her disordered ex and the insanity she endured living with him.

The way she does it is through carefully selected vignettes. She refers to her ex as “the boy,” and to herself as “the woman.” Some of the anecdotes portray the boy’s life before the woman entered the picture. But most of them provide glimpses of his unreasonable demands, her confusion and his rage.

For example, Paula describes how nothing she did made the boy happy. She writes:

“Why can’t he see that I am trying? Why can’t he see that I do care and love him? Why is what I do never good enough?” But these worries are fleeting, because the boy quickly distracts her by surprising her with a gift: “It’s a journal I found at your favorite store. You should start writing that book you always talk about writing.” How sweet, she thinks. He does know I love and care for him and he loves and cares for me.

A few days later, the woman is writing in her new journal. She sees the boy pacing through the hall and asks, “Why are you pacing?” He explains, “Why aren’t you out here hanging out with me or talking to me about my day?” Quizzically, she responds, “Well we just had dinner together and talked about our days, and now I’m relaxing and writing for a bit. What in the world is wrong with you?!?” (Oh shit! The woman has vocalized her internal worries that have been driving her crazy. NOT. WHAT. THE. BOY. CAN. HANDLE.)

The rage ensues. The boy screams, “You treat me like shit! You don’t appreciate anything I do for you. You push me away. You don’t love me. I NEED you to NEED me!”

Does this sound familiar?

Escaping the Boy is an easy read that conveys the essence of the crazy-making that is a relationship with a sociopath. The author doesn’t spend a lot of time explaining the technical aspects of the personality disorder, so you’ll need to get that information elsewhere. Rather, she tells a cautionary tale for anyone who has not been involved with a sociopath. And for all of us who have also lived this dreadful experience, she tells a tale that offers us validation.

Escaping the Boy: My Life with a Sociopath is available on Amazon.com.

 

 



10 Comments on "BOOK REVIEW: Escaping the Boy — My Life with a Sociopath"

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  1. blossom4th says:

    Donna,
    That one excerpt from Paula’s book is certainly validating for most victims of sociopaths! Lol! They want to be the centre of the world! Her ‘boy’ probably bought the journal expecting her to write love poems about him and then read them to him!!!



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  2. Blossom4th – Yes, all Lovefraud readers would find the scenes to be familiar. Entitled, domineering, irrational – the usual sociopathic behavior.

    The author peppers the book with running commentary of her reactions to the boy’s outrageous behavior. That also sounds really familiar.



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  3. alive65 says:

    The sociopath I married encouraged me to write in my journal…so that he could read it. Then as his “crazy making” escalated ..and I became more and more unstable,(which was reflected in my writing) He began to take my journals to show to others..as “proof” that I was nuts and that I was not to be believed. Maybe that is why he bought the journal for her. Mine had a reason for evrything he did…I just couldn’t figureout what the reason was until it was too late…they can plan very far in advance.It’s like a child playing chess against Bobby Fischer. I could NEVER have forseen what his motives were at the time. It was mind boggling.



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  4. Alive65 – welcome to Lovefraud. that’s terrible about the journal – they always have an ulterior motive, and no, we would never think of doing things the way they do, so we never see it coming. I hope you’re doing well in your recovery.



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  5. Echo says:

    WOW! This book sample sounds EXACTLY like a day with my ex sociopath!! Its chilling how much they all act the same.



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  6. twiceafool says:

    Soooo very thankful for this site, it’s information, and the support offered. I’m struggling to split my current marriage from sociopath #2. Apparently I wasn’t beat up enough the first time around to learn my lesson…..lol (bad joke!)
    I love the authors’ bravery in writing and sharing her experience. Gives me the courage to do the same. Although mine would be more of a how-to book since I seem better at finding sociopathic relationships than repelling them. Thank you again for such inspiration!!!



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  7. meme says:

    My beautiful successful 37 yr old daughter married a sociopath. He was a cop at the time. She had two daughter, the oldest 15. Their son was born a year later. She did everything to please him, spent her hard earned money on him, gave him a child. He turned into a hateful bastard soon after marriage.
    Did all he could to get her away from friends and family. At two month old, he offered to watch the baby one night. Our precious baby “suffocated”. My daughter was destroyed. He was cold. “It was his time to go. Get over it” . She was already pregnant with the second son. Long story short, after abuse from him and knowing he had killed this child, she divorced him. He gladly gave up parental rights,( for fifteen thousand) stating he never wanted to lay eyes on him. We are raising his second son, a precious little boy who is thankfully nothing like this shameless creep, who is now married to wife no five at the ripe age of just 36. I have a feeling he won’t be with her long either. Scarily, we are told he has another son, just a few months old. All I can say is if something happens to this one, The Tenn bureau of Investigation will likely come after him for the death of the first child. The law would love to have nailed him the first time, but it is hard to prove deliberate suffocation in an infant. My daughter has spent years in therapy, and has since had repressed memories surface in which she recalls seeing her babys legs jerking and he bent over the baby on the floor with his hand on the babys head. She knows without a doubt that what she saw was murder. My daughter will never get over this baby’s death. Hopefully we will someday see him rot away in a prison where he belongs and can not ruin the lives of any more people. How the heck do people get this kind of mentality?!Of course, he has another woman waiting as soon as he exits one relationship. His step dad is a real loser, but an old ex lawman himself who uses the law to get what he wants. He has hurt a lot of people too. I plan to write a book, because what I have said here is just the tip of a big iceberg.



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  8. meme – what a terrible story. I am so sorry for you and your daughter. He is so heartless. I do hope justice finds him.

    Welcome to Lovefraud – I hope the understanding here brings you some solace.



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