lf1

Archive for June, 2013

Donna Andersen interview on Comedy Cellar podcast

The Comedy Cellar,  one of the top comedy clubs in New York City, hosts a weekly podcast, and last week I was the featured guest. I was interviewed by club owner, Noam Dworman, and club regulars Dan Naturman, Kristin Montella  Marina Franklin and Alan Havey.

065 Circumcision and Sociopaths

It was quite a conversation. In the beginning, Noam Dworman talks about the birth of his child — if you want to get right to the discussion of sociopaths, fast forward to 14:00.

 

Valuable lessons at Stevie’s Scam School

Do you know a scam when you see one? Most people don’t. So the Consumer Affairs department in the state of Victoria, Australia, has produced a series of videos called Stevie’s Scam School. I can say the the points in the Romance Scam video are absolutely on the mark — many Lovefraud readers have told me that they experienced exactly what was described.

For more information on identifying and avoiding scams, visit Consumer Affairs Victoria.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 2

Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Edna” sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband’s mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Read Part 1.

The final evening

It is so scary to even think back to the evening that led to my leaving Brandon and never looking back. The very last time I saw him I found tons of drugs in his apartment. It was a Friday evening in the middle of the summer. I went to my parents that Wednesday night to get some clothes and do some laundry. On Thursday he didn’t answer his phone from 7pm to like 10am Friday morning.

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 1

Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Edna” sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband’s mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Part 2 will post tomorrow.

Letter from the mistress

I met Brandon during the summer, immediately following my college graduation. Brandon approached me at a nightclub at a beach resort area near where I live over Memorial Day weekend. I was at a low point in my life; I was desperately trying to get over a bad break-up. My self-esteem was low and I was sick of getting my heart broken over and over again by young, good-looking, cheating jerks. Brandon came into my life out of nowhere with the promise of being a good guy who would never treat me like my ex.

As seen on TV: Her husband is a con artist

Sheri Brown, from British Columbia, Canada, learned that her husband, Timothy Szabolci, aka Andrew Szalolc, wasn’t s former Canadian Air Force pilot or a retired psychiatrist, as he claimed. The man was a con artist.

Old TV report reveals husband’s secret life, on screen.yahoo.com.

Story suggested by two Lovefraud readers.

 

Intermittent reinforcement: conditioning helps explain why we stay with abusive individuals

An overview of conditioning from a behavior specialist’s perspective

I will not get too specific regarding behavior reinforcement schedules, but I will ask you to follow me through a brief overview of some of the basics.  While I cannot do the explanation justice in a few paragraphs, I can present enough background to facilitate an understanding of why this matters to us.

When studying behavior analysis, most programs, at least at some point, look to the work of B.F. Skinner, the 20th century developer of operant conditioning.  Very simply, operant conditioning subscribes to the belief that learning is modified by consequences.  The learner is motivated by reinforcement and punishment alike.

If a behavior is being reinforced, it will occur with increased frequency.  This reinforcement can be either positive or negative.  In other words, there can be either a reward given (positive) or an adverse stimulus presented (negative.)  Either way, the result is the same; the desired behavior increases.

Internet love scam syndicate busted in Malaysia

Federal police in Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia, arrested 60 people — most of them from Nigeria — who were conning women in romance scams. The police deputy director stated that 332 Internet scam cases had been reported from January through April of this year, with victim losses of 51.3 million ringgit (US$16 million).

60 held in Net love scam, on Asiaone.com.

Posted in: Uncategorized

Mother and daughter accused of murder by antifreeze

Diane Staudte, 51, of Springfield, Missouri, is accused of killing her husband, Mark Staudte, 61, and her son, Shawn Staudte, 26, by spiking their soda with antifreeze. She also is accused of poisoning her daughter, Sarah Staudte, who is hospitalized. Another daughter, Rachel Staudte, 22, allegedly participated in the crimes.

Diane Staudte, Rachel Staudte, allegedly poinson Mark, Shawn Staudte with antifreeze, on HuffingtonPost.com.

 

 

Love addiction with a sociopath

According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, romantic love is an addiction. The drive to find a romantic partner is buried deep in the brain, and biologically intertwined with the brain’s reward system, which is linked to wanting, motivation, focus and craving. To hear Dr. Fisher explain this, watch the video.

Dr. Fisher points out that when you love someone and are rejected, the addiction is worse. Not only do you continue to feel the intense romantic love, but you love your beau even more. Your love becomes an obsession. It turns out that the brain system associated with rewards becomes even more active when you can’t get what you want.

So what happens when you fall in love with a sociopath? Why is it so difficult to emotionally disengage from a sociopath, even when you have discovered what they really are? I’ve spoken to many people who know, on an intellectual level, that they are involved with an exploiter. They absolutely understand that they must end the involvement. But they can’t.

The mind of a potential mass killer

In the wake of the Sandy Hook school shooting in Connecticut, a young man who at one point harbored similar thoughts sent an essay to The Daily Beast. I just found it, and even though the three-part essay is six months old, I believe Lovefraud readers will find it interesting and relevant.

This anonymous young man eloquently explains why, as a teenager, he was filled with rage, and how he was able to turn his life around. The key reason is that his mother did not give up.

I was Adam Lanza, on TheDailyBeast.com.