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While litigation fees mount, Connecticut court awards custody to abusers

This two-part article in the Washington Times follows the money trail of Connecticut family court. Author Aine Nistophain writes about a 9-year-old, Max:

When Max reported to authorities that his father had raped him, the Judge Munro awarded sole custody of him to his father. Suddenly, Max went from living with his mother full time, to seeing his mother a few hours a week in supervised visitation run by strangers armed with clipboards, then no contact at all.

There’s more, and it’s bad. Read:

Finding Ground Zero in Connecticut

Immunity for Guardian Ad Litem destroys Connecticut family



35 Comments on "While litigation fees mount, Connecticut court awards custody to abusers"

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  1. Tea Light says:

    Serenity, check out the “sociopaths skeleton in society’s closet” discussion 🙂



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  2. abelrising says:

    Serenity,

    three years ago i was thinking of ways of reaching ways of educating and inhibiting behaviors in conduct disordered children much in the same way we do with autism. Once they become adults or pre-adult I feel its too late to bother. I thought it was critical to reach them during that essential developmental stage when parents start noticing signs.

    Just as we have early identification methods as well as early intervention programs for autism I feel this is essential to target and inhibit behaviors in those at risk children who show signs of conduct disorder. A sort of reeducation of providing another route other than where their nature will lead them.

    Same way we simply don’t just let an autistic child sit in the corner spinning a plate do we? We look for ways of pulling them from one world into another. To adjust and adapt to the world around them as best they can. My child is diagnosed severe autism. Completely shut off. An extreme case. She’s on that category of most severe on the spectrum. No hope. But we got through to her. She’s still severely autistic. Completely non-verbal but she can relate and interact with others.

    But I started with her very young. I knew what we were going to deal with. I have Asperger syndrome and my wife has autism so we knew how our daughter was going to turn out. We saw the signs other parents would miss and we went at therapeutic methods aggressively. She is still autistic. We didn’t change that part of her but that the negative aspects of autism doesn’t rule who she is either. She rules her autism, as best she could. Her autism doesn’t rule her. My wife, me, we do that everyday. We gave ourselves an incentive to keep striving for a goal. Remaining who we are without letting certain parts of who we are dictate where we what to go and be.

    When I was young I didn’t need friends, search for friends. It was sort of pushed upon me and I got used to it. I had a friend. I was taught how to relate to my friend, my family and the world and others around me in a healthy way. I found ways to circumvent obtrusive behaviors that would get in the way of that happening.

    I feel that if targeted young enough a child with conduct disorder can be retrained from their nature to have a more fulfilling life for themselves and others if they find another way to feed their insatiable hungers.

    I saw a movie recently that I will highly recommend. Stoker.

    It goes into a 18 year old girl named India whose father mysteriously dies and an uncle she never knew existed shows up. She’s an odd girl. It seems like her father recognized something in his child that he saw in his own brother who in flashbacks reveal that he murdered their younger brother as children. He cut his brother from his life. Had him institutionalized and took his daughter to hunting trips.

    He saw and knew there was something predatory about his daughter and he worked to have an outlet for those inclinations…. Later Uncle Charlie resurfaces and unleashes the beast within. But we are left to wonder if Uncle Charlie never showed up would India’s father efforts to retrain his daughters inclinations been subverted? Could she possibly have led a semi normal life without ever giving into those inclinations?

    Also in the film it does play on such observances on India’s heightened sense of hearing and sensitivity to touch that seemed to affect both herself and Uncle Charlie.

    I sort of just put those interests aside to pursue gardening and landscaping. I felt my soul just couldn’t take on too much. We had a murder that sort of devastated us and I guess we are still healing.

    Regards



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  3. Tea Light says:

    Uncle Charlie! A nod to Hitchcock’s Shadow of a Doubt. Uncle Charlie the terrifying woman hating psychopath and his niece also called Charlie are doubled through framing and editing. Charlie unmasks Uncle Charlie.



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  4. raggedy ann says:

    abelrising,
    Could you please elaborate on this?

    “I feel that if targeted young enough a child with conduct disorder can be retrained from their nature to have a more fulfilling life for themselves and others if they find another way to feed their insatiable hungers.”

    Thanks,
    RA



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  5. abelrising says:

    You work on ways of preventing and circumventing them towards another direction.

    Re-directive therapy

    In the movie Stoker, India’s father recognized the predator in his child. He took her to hunting trips. She hunted. The challenge of targeting a prey fed her nature and pulled her away from other targets. He didn’t deny her nature just redirected it and circumsiced it.

    In the older days certain forms of behavior reconditioning were used. As ways to I feel were to castrate certain behaviors. Nope. Circumcize what is in their nature you can’t castrate who they essentially are. Just like in autism no matter what you do, how much money you throw at them you will not likely be ever able to “cure” autism. but you can and we have made autism easier to live with and manage in very many cases.

    The bible a great educational book if you will notice the sociopath does spend quite some time there. This good book displays a certain degree of mistrust toward nature. Generally, nature — including ALL of human nature — cannot be trusted if it is unchecked. Like the ground that was cursed after Adam’s sin, it will grow “thorns and thistles” if it remains uncultivated.

    However, this doesn’t mean to imply that nature is inherently evil and therefore we must seek to “castrate” it. To the contrary, just as thorn and thistles can be cleared to allow the earth to give forth fruit, the very idea of circumcision implies that we need to prune nature and cultivate it in the way we need it to grow for ourselves and most importantly for themselves.

    The Bible is centered on the idea that the human being is endowed with a deposit of divinity and made in “God’s image.” This doesn’t contradict Genesis 6:5, for instance, which says, “And God saw the great evil of man in the world, and that the entire impulse of the thoughts of his heart were evil all day.”

    First, the verse doesn’t say that the “heart” itself was evil, but only the “IMPULSE of the thoughts” of the human heart….

    They have a ME! ME! ME! mentality why deny it? But why not make it work for them AND the rest of us by re-directing it?

    There’s a need for hunting. They prey on you, emotionally, and in other areas. they get bored easily, they go after a challenge, conquer it move on to another prey…

    How about finding a means to keeping that part of them busy in another ‘thrill of a chase’ that will keep the rest of us safe??

    I also support Positive behavior support . from wiki “…It’s a substantiated form of applied behavior analysis (ABA) that uses a system to understand what maintains an individual’s challenging behavior. People’s inappropriate behaviors are difficult to change because they are functional; they serve a purpose for them. These behaviors are supported by reinforcement in the environment…”

    The three areas of deficit skills identified are in autism but not in conduct disorder: communication skills,

    in autism basic social skills that can lead to better socialization, in Conduct disorder we need to go deeper into empathy imprinting and training rather than mere socializing training where they tend to pick up charm skills easily, more deeper based work here ignoring the superficial social charm game. for this to work we need to be completely immune to charms…

    and self-management skills.

    But we need to get to these kids at an early critical developmental age. Just as we do in autism. the future of a child with autism is many times deoendant on how early they are identified and worked with. I truly believe that if given the attention and the resources we can nip most of the problem early on.

    It was just a thought back then…



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  6. blossom4th says:

    abelrising and serenity12,
    You are to be commended for your efforts to reach out and teach the conduct disordered.

    Much has been said here at Lovefraud about issues that we have from childhood.It is the same for sociopaths,as abelrising intimated in his post;re:the movie Stoker.There are the genetic factors.But then playing Big Time,are environmental factors.I’ll explain by telling you my husband’s story.

    His grandparents were immigrants.Strict,lots of yelling.He was raised in the city.His playground ended up being the streets.Not much needs to be explained from there….JUST DOWNHILL!He was considered a nerd;a fat nerd in school-yet his hormones raged.More trouble.Theatres became his obsession.More street stuff.His parents gave up after years of bailing him out of trouble.He withheld this information about his life until AFTER we exchanged vows.

    Time and again,I have run into parents who insist that THEIR child COULDN’T be the cause of trouble,and they will PROTECT that child from the CONSEQUENCES of what they’ve done….CRIPPLING the child,when they could have seized the opportunity to teach a life-lesson!By the time that child becomes school age,they are already resisting their parents’ authority,so why would they listen to school authorities?!They think it’s FUNNY when they act up and disrupt the class.And they figure the more followers they have,the more this proves it!Discipline MUST START AT HOME TO BE EFFECTIVE!

    Btw,abelrising,you and your wife are to be commended for working so hard with your daughter! 🙂



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  7. abelrising says:

    hey blossom, this is one of my favorite videos and song on the subject. the lyrics are powerful…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBjQ9tuuTJQ

    “The Pretender” by Foo Fighters

    Keep you in the dark
    You know they all pretend
    Keep you in the dark
    And so it all began

    Send in your skeletons
    Sing as their bones go marching in… again
    The need you buried deep
    The secrets that you keep are ever ready
    Are you ready?
    I’m finished making sense
    Done pleading ignorance
    That whole defense

    Spinning infinity, boy
    The wheel is spinning me
    It’s never-ending, never-ending
    Same old story

    [Chorus (x2):]
    What if I say I’m not like the others?
    What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays?
    You’re the pretender
    What if I say I will never surrender?

    In time or so I’m told
    I’m just another soul for sale… oh, well
    The page is out of print
    We are not permanent
    We’re temporary, temporary
    Same old story

    What if I say I’m not like the others?
    What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays?
    You’re the pretender
    What if I say I will never surrender?

    I’m the voice inside your head
    You refuse to hear
    I’m the face that you have to face
    Mirrored in your stare
    I’m what’s left, I’m what’s right
    I’m the enemy
    I’m the hand that will take you down
    Bring you to your knees…”



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  8. raggedy ann says:

    abelrising, thanks for you explanation/response. I may have some more questions later.



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