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The FBI posts on-line dating warning

It should go without saying that there are inherent risks that accompany on-line dating.  However, in our electronic age, this practice has become quite acceptable and commonplace.  I know many people who have met their very decent significant others on dating sites.  Regardless, it is always a good idea to be cautious.

A few years ago, I decided to try a popular site.  I was busy juggling parenting, fighting court battles, attending graduate school, and working.  Dating was not a priority, but I thought I’d give it a whirl.  It wasn’t long before I was matched with the individual I just broke it off with!  Initially, I was confused, because while we were together, it did not seem he needed “help” in this area.  The nature of his work took him away from home and allowed him to meet a variety of women.  However, apparently, he was in between love interests, or simply trolling for a “better” one.  Thus, the profile.

After being matched with, and promptly blocking him, I thought about the futures of the women he might meet who were doing nothing more than searching for a “good guy” like the rest of us.  Then, I considered the types of people I was being matched with on the site.  Most were probably fine, but I couldn’t help but think about the less than stellar experiences I was having.  I couldn’t help but think about the super nice guy who claimed to be 5’11”, but was really 5’1″.  Now, I don’t care about a guy’s height, but did he really think I wouldn’t notice 10 “missing” inches?  All it caused me to do was wonder about what other lies he told.  On another occasion, I began “communicating” with someone who turned out to know one of my friends.  Her words of warning played over and over in my mind, and the red flags were, in fact, everywhere.  Further involvement with him would have probably yielded nothing more than a “repeat performance” of what I already lived through.  On another occasion, I was matched with a local person, who was actually married, in spite of his self proclaimed single status on the site.  What if I had not already known who he was and became involved?

After a few disastrous dates and then a few others that were simply just not matches, I decided that I needed to meet people the old fashioned way.  Nonetheless, on-line dating remains quite popular and a great option for many.  However, anyone who ventures out into this environment must be careful.  While it can be an excellent way to meet others, it can also be a smorgasbord for the ill intended.

The problems have become so common that the term catfish is now a noun with a new meaning.  Essentially, it is used to describe an individual who has created a fake on line profile with the intent of deceiving others.  MTV now has a reality show by that title, which chronicles the stories of many who have fallen in love on-line, only to learn the truth (or lies) about their other halves.  Entertainment aside, even the FBI acknowledges the potential hazards.  Cyber dating has created some unique challenges.

Below, I provide the link for the FBI warning.  The fact that they have chosen to address this issue is good indicator that the problem is more widespread than many might think, even if we are fairly more aware than most.  Their suggestions may seem like common sense suggestions, but we know how convincing these individuals can be.  Often, their strange stories are plausible enough for us to believe.  Therefore, it is critical that we move forward with caution.  Hopefully, these reminders help us all!

Looking for love? Beware of online dating scams, on FBI.gov.

 



108 Comments on "The FBI posts on-line dating warning"

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  1. Truthspeak says:

    BBE, spot-on! And, as much as spaths seem to “adapt” to their environments, Scousepath was clearly incapable of processing the fact that different “rules” apply to HIM in the US.

    I worked very closely with Human Resources and dismissal under “at will” circumstances aren’t uncommon. That he was terminated (snicker) on the spot suggests a sexual harassment action lurking in a dark corner, somewhere. Just a guess, here.



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  2. Louise says:

    BBE:

    But it was here, not in the UK…did I understand your post?



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  3. Louise says:

    Truthspeak:

    You know, he really was good at what he did at work…he is educated and was just promoted…for them to fire him, it was really, really bad. They don’t WANT to do it, they really don’t. I am sure they feel bad about it, but they HAD to do it as he had become a huge liability to them. I am almost positive that it was probably about a woman and why do I have a feeling it was maybe about the woman who moved here for him? It also may have been a combination of things. Here’s another thing…there were the “five deadlies” as they were called at work where if you committed these, you would be terminated WITHOUT severance. So if he was gone on the spot, that would mean it was one of the five deadlies which means he wouldn’t have gotten severance which is REALLY bad for him. But then I talked to a friend who works in HR there who happens to be on a leave right now, but she said they may have negotiated a severance with him anyway and knowing him, he probably “manipulated” them into a severance package.

    Another thing…what does he tell his wife??? Oh, honey, I was fired today because I was f*cking the Assistant in the next department?? OMG!



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  4. Truthspeak says:

    Louise, whatever he tells his poor wife will be a lie, and I really pity her because she is STILL caught in Scousepathland.

    He’s out and it was as a result of his OWN actions rather than any act of revenge! That, above all, is the sweetest”WIN” possible! 😀



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  5. Louise says:

    Truthspeak:

    Oh, I know…there is no way he will tell her the truth! BUT…she has to be smarter than that. How could she believe anything when he has been at the company for so long and just got promoted?? She would have to know it was something shady; she isn’t stupid. I think she will find out the truth because I bet she will start asking his coworkers and I think someone will be kind enough to tell her! I DO pity her…I do because she is trapped…she has those two kids with him and that binds her to him forever! Goodness!! I am going to pray for that situation.

    It was his own actions and nothing else that did this. I did report him, but it was a full year ago…last February to be exact so I know it’s not because of my reporting, but perhaps my reporting was the first in the documentation on him. I am NOT going to feel guilty about it because they NEEDED to know what he was doing. He tripped up himself…I had nothing to do with it. He had too much against him. I think the company finally realized they could no longer put up with him…he was going to cause them big trouble.



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  6. HeatherCT says:

    This is sooo true, my ex’s online profile on a dating site said he was

    “divorced, naive and honest”.

    He’s still not divorced after suing his wife for divorce and then deciding it would cost him too much so she is still being strung along with the other 4 (that i know of)…

    Says it all.



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  7. Elisee says:

    online dating is not , definetely not for the faint hearted. Im registered in a relationship site for one year and the very thing I did not get was a proper decent relationship. I met countless married men who said they were not, I met a full time lier who told me later that everything, absolutely everything he told me was a lie, his life, his supposed ex wife, everything was a big lie and even called me naive. I met an old man who said he was 25 years younger and a catholic priest who wanted sex. I met a man dressed as Father Christmas , natural white beard and all and men who seemed so interested,told me I was wonderful, the woman for them, sent me poems, and promptly disappeared forever and even deleted me from Facebook for no reason. I met an ex police man who was wanted for drug traffic and also disappeared completely, and a man who told me he was single and kept phoning me , came to see me only for his woman to start sending me abusive emails and calling me names, when I was not to blame that her common law husband was a cheat.

    I also met a handsome spanish man who told me he was divorced fo 8 years, told me he loved me, I was his soul mate, started seeing me in a regular basis, we had a sexual relationship and I fell in love with him. He took me to his house and even told me he was a Christian, having built a small church ( I saw it) and months later there came his ex who he had finished with only for a very short time and he came back to her!!!!!! She phoned me and told me he is no Christian and has mental problems.He was terribly callous with me, telling me he and her were separated only a short time, no matter how painful such words were to me. It seems they were in touch the whole time we were together.
    I also met a man with anger problems who thought I was hiding money from him, imagining meaning in my acts, like when I chose a different queue in the supermarket he thought I was hiding what I had in my purse from him.
    This one also had OCD and cleaned everything compulsively and drove his motorbike like there was no tomorrow and if he goes like that probably wont be.
    I have left this site (POF) but noticed that they wont let you go, so my pfofile is still active, now I have been contacted for another man who seems nice, but while talking to him I still keep my reservations, Im afraid of all of them now.



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  8. Saskgirl says:

    Elisee!
    Too funny!
    I too tried PoF a few years ago. I met the sociopath on there. As a matter of fact, we had a 98% compatibility. A week after I moved out (we lived together for 2 years and he was still lovebombing me after I left) he had his profile up there, looking for a “long term relationship” .

    I’m healing slowly. I’ve been single for a year now and although I get mighty lonely some days, being by myself is such a refreshing change from the anxiety ridden days of my relationshit.
    I have thought about dating again, but unfortunately, a lot of men here are rednecks and I’m just not interested. I don’t go to church, and I don’t go to the bar. After the horror of meeting a sociopath on the internet, I don’t think I’m going to try there again either. I don’t have the energy to weed through all the flotsam.

    Too all the people that have found good relationships on the internet, good for you. I’m going to try the conventional way, and if that doesn’t work, then I will cherish the time alone.



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  9. Elisee says:

    Im so happpy to say that in March 2013 I met my man, and it was (yes) in the pOF. So, there are some good men there, very few by my experience. We have a lovely relationship and he is very caring and serious about us and we have met family and friends. He treats me with the utmost respect and it has been such a relief to leave completely the dating site, this time with my man with me. We are getting married in 2014. He is not after any money and has his own, on the contrary, he pays for things all the time and sometimes we share expenses as well.He is funny, witty and interesting, with a good profession and my children adore him.



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