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Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Bill Ronan

Bill Ronan is a licensed clinical social worker and a practitioner of medical hypnoanalysis based in Hopkins, Minnesota.

Q. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both?

A. Sociopaths are a category I had given little attention to, as it is unlikely therapy will be of benefit to them. The style of therapy I do basically requires that I believe the patient. Carl Rogers, the originator of client-centered psychotherapy, was and is one of my therapeutic heroes. The goal was to always give positive regard. The analytical style I use is to find the truth that sets the patient free. This creates an honorable way out so that change is possible. Most people coming to me are honest and seek help.

However, after being widowed, I married a woman from another country. I did not know she only wanted to become a citizen, and had learned about our domestic violence laws. She knew she could accuse me of domestic violence and receive, as a result, instant citizenship.

She and members of certain agencies worked together, all bringing false allegations against me of a very serious nature. As a fluke, they eventually realized they would lose in court, or at least come close to losing, so they never showed up for any criminal trial. I learned from this that our legal system appears to be filled with sociopaths. (Here’s an article about similar cases.) Since then I have sought to help others in similar situations.

Q. How do you go about helping clients who have tangled with a sociopath?

A. I will help them to understand that they were taken in by a professional, or professionals, as the case might be. I will help them to re-center and re-connect with their own judgment skills, while maintaining the learning that sociopaths exist and are not so rare. Hopefully they re-learn to trust in those who are trustworthy.

Q. What, in your experience, is the biggest issue or problem that people who have been betrayed by a sociopath need to overcome?

A. The biggest obstacle I see is that of fear. Fear can be associated with attraction, the desire to do kind things, and to be helpful. Researchers have concluded that one of the most important signs of a sociopath is that they seek sympathy. Once that is secured, the victim is leaning in, offering to help, and therefore, off balance. Decent people seek to help those they perceive as in need. Both men and women have been victims in my practice.

Sometimes, the circular system of courts and agencies seems to be a graduate school for psychopaths. Much of this process has to do with government funding. Through false allegations, the police are used as one might use the Mafia, with the exception that the police come free and will virtually never be prosecuted. Those who bring the false allegations are rarely held accountable for their actions.

Q. What’s one tip you can suggest for helping Lovefraud readers recover from the betrayal of a sociopath?

A. Keep in mind that there are decent people out there. The sociopaths are few in numbers—one researcher says 1 in 25. They could not do what they do if there were more of them, because their targets would come to understand the game. Most people have not knowingly come into contact with sociopaths.

Also, sociopaths will manipulate others connected to you to convince them that you are the evil one. Look at the movies Rebecca by Alfred Hitchcock, Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte with Bette Davis, or Odd Girl Out to see how sociopaths play their games.



36 Comments on "Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Bill Ronan"

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  1. Ox Drover says:

    Okay guys, PEACE!

    Raggedy Ann, Sarcastic remarks here are usually very triggering and cause trouble as it is difficult to understand what is sarcastic or not from printed text, whereas in verbal conversation it is usually easily figured out from the tone of voice, so I would suggest kindly that you refrain from sarcastic remarks.

    Fortunately, we are quite able to NOT respond to someone who we disagree with or find offensive. We also have the report abusive comment link so that Donna knows what is happening if the level of offense rises to an abusive level.

    I would actually hate to see this thread deleted again because of the conversation turning ugly, and I WOULD like Bill to come on here and discuss his views about several questions.



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  2. raggedy ann says:

    Ok oxy didn’t see you. Just deleted what was here. Sorry again, agree on the sarcasm.



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  3. MiLo says:

    PEACE it is Oxy ~

    I’m going to put on my Peter, Paul and Mary vinyl of “Kumbaya”, search the VW bus for my love beads, I’m already wearing my tie dye shirt, so got that covered.

    Then I think I will put on some water for tea, probably earl grey, sit down and enjoy a nice warm cup before I must check the boxer’s butt for a boil.

    Why don’t you join me Truthy, it’s always good to chill with friends. xxx ooo



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  4. Ox Drover says:

    Thank you Raggedy Ann.



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  5. Ox Drover says:

    I hadn’t thawed any meat for supper so we had oat and whole wheat flour pancakes, uncle Luke’s pure maple syrup and made hash brown fried potatoes from some left over cooked potatoes I had. Got a wonderful carb load and feel really good.

    Yes, I am improving in my attitude but still having trouble focusing, so just trying to work through things one step at a time. I really didn’t feel just how far I fell in to the abyss until I hit bottom so far down I couldn’t see a glimmer of light at the top so the climb has been pretty hard work.

    You know the reason I am sharing this with you all is that I want you to know that no matter how “healed” you are if you relax doing the things you KNOW TO DO and a stressful situation hits you can have your socks knocked off and go back into the PITS.

    It’s all about STAYING actively on the road to healing.

    http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/02/10/are-we-there-yet/



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  6. Truthspeak says:

    OxD….thank you for that strong reminder.

    Brightest blessings



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  7. Tea Light says:

    Oxy points out that ”he (Bill) mentioned 3 movies to watch showing psychopaths…in which all three were women.”

    Bill, you need to show up and answer the very reasonable questions that have been put to you!

    Many thanks to Milo for the information on WAVE, I will circulate to my UK anti violence againist women contacts.

    Raggedy…good grief woman! Take Oxy’s advice and learn to tone it right down, please. Sarcasm just isn’t going to go over well on a site which exists to support survivors of traumatic relationships.

    Peace and love all x



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  8. Ox Drover says:

    I agree, Tea Light, that Bill should engage in a dialog about some of the questions we have asked, but I don’t think at this point that will happen.

    Milo, we are both “crotchety old women” who are trouble makers because we call BS when we see it. LOL So I’m raising my glass of prune juice to you! LOL



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  9. Truthspeak says:

    MiLo & OxD, I’ll turn on some Doobie Brothers, and we can sit around discussing fiber and sociopathy. (guffaw, snort, wheeze, hack)

    BRIGHTEST blessings



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