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Archive for February, 2013

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The king, the charade, the wardrobe change

Editor’s note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “LadyinRed.”

I call myself Lady in Red.
Surreal, this journey has been, ongoing it is.
I live in hiding.

A facade, a delusion much of my life has been.
I finally awoke.
I became aware.

This last year has shown me.
A sense of entitlement I see in so many.
They take from others, wanting more.
A mask they wear.

Welcome to my theatre, a comic tragedy.

I was half past my fourth decade, separated for years, two daughters I raised.
One day my eldest said, I did something for you, come see!
She showed me an account on a date site in my name.
Time to get out there she said, play the dating game.
A computer I had never used; I felt like a fool.
She taught me the basics, a few lessons it took.
A profile I wrote: Just fell from the moon into a sea of stars looking for that special shine.

Paroled sex offenders tampering with tracking devices

The efforts to reduce overcrowding in California prisons often times leads to little to no jail time for paroled sex offenders who tamper with their tracking devices. Some go out and assault again.

Paroled sex offenders disarming tracking devices from LATimes.com

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader

Complaints allege improper conduct by two women in the law

Two stories currently in the news, if proven true, show a female cop and a female judge stepping way over the line of appropriate behavior.

Lisa Steed, Utah State Trooper, allegedly makes fake DUI arrests, on HuffingtonPost.com.

Part-time judge accused of having sexual relations with inmate, on IndyStar.com.

Stories suggested by Lovefraud readers.

Towards a graduate degree in Workplace S&P&N-ology

Editor’s note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader PressEject. He previously wrote “Male and female sociopaths have remarkable similarities.” Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

It has been about 4 1/2 years since my absurd abuse at the hands of the sociopath, which your great site helped me to make sense of, and, to eventually overcome. I am writing today in gratitude, but also with a bit of an update and reminder (at least to myself) to remain vigilant.

With your help, and with the help and support of your readers, I finally had a set of tools to work with to navigate the world should S’s and P’s and N’s eventually fall right back in my pathway. Ultimately, the healing work brought me out of years of a prolonged state of resentment and isolation (separated from God’s healing grace) right into the hands of a loving God, where love for me now has finally had a chance to cancel out the many dark clouds I had chosen to live with over so many years.

Doing business with a sociopath is bad business

Here’s a scary fact about the prevalence of sociopaths, also called psychopaths: Dr. Robert Hare, the psychologist who developed the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), says that approximately 1% of the general population meets his definition of a psychopath. But in a study of 200 high-potential executives, he found that 3.5% of them fit the profile of a psychopath. That means there are 3.5 times a many psychopaths in corporate offices as there are on the streets.

One of them, in my opinion, is Carl R. Greene, former executive director of the Philadelphia Housing Authority (PHA). I’ve posted several articles about him since he was fired from the agency that he ran for 12 years in August 2010.

Why was he fired? Well, there were the six sexual harassment complaints filed against him. Greene directed the agency’s lawyers and insurance company to settle three of them, for over $1 million, without informing the board of directors.

Man who abused a boy scout also abused his own children

The Boy Scouts of America “perversion files” from 1959 to the late 1980s were made public last year. One of the violators was Brandon Gray, who lived in Morristown, New Jersey, in 1963. The documentation of Gray’s action was validation for two of his children, who were also abused, and struggled to live normal lives afterwards.

Brandon Gray scout abuse: Siblings discover dad’s molestation, remember own torment, on HuffingtonPost.com.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

Fear-based thinking no longer runs my life

Editor’s note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “Adelade.”

According to my counseling therapist, I became involved with sociopaths as a result of their motivations and their abilities to note my strengths and vulnerabilities. My vulnerabilities were formed during my childhood and manifested as a crippling condition termed, “shame core.”

This core was based upon my experiences in a dysfunctional family environment of alcoholism. For whatever reasons, I believed that I was responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone, and I mean everyone. This false sense of responsibility prepared me for a lifetime of fear-based decisions and choices that included marrying two sociopaths in a row.

Fear is a visceral response to threat or danger. When a child feels that they are “in danger” of being cold, unloved, hungry, and dirty, the response is to do whatever they can to avoid being cold, unloved, hungry, or dirty. If a child feels “threatened” with abandonment, dismissal, humiliation, abuse, molestation, hunger, or any other negative situation, that child will do whatever they can to avoid the threats.

Woman sentenced to prison for arranging husband’s murder

Stacey Schoeck lured her fifth husband, Richard, to a park in Georgia, on Valentine’s Day 2010, so they could “exchange cards.” Instead, he was shot by a man she had hired to kill him.

Valentine’s Day murder: The death of Richard Schoeck, on AJC.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

Sex abuse victim gets law degree, helps others

Wynona Ward, a 48 year old lawyer and former abuse victim from rural vermont, founded an organization called Have Justice Will Travel that she operates out of her car to aid victims of domestic violence. The group provides free legal representation and support services to low income families who live in the back woods of Vermont. They would otherwise would have no way of getting help to end generational abuse.

From sex abuse victim to legal advocate on www.cnn.com.

Article sugged by a Lovefraud reader.

Christian Mingle hook-up allegedly leads to rape

Navy veteran Sean Patrick Banks, 37, of Del Mar, California, was charged with raping a woman he met on the Christian Mingle dating site. Police are looking for other victims.

Calif. man accused of raping woman met on Christian site, on USAToday.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.